A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS > > Skinny people irritate me! Especially when > they say things like, "You know sometimes I just > forget to eat." > Now I've forgotten my address, > my mother's maiden name, and my keys. > But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a > special kind of stupid to forget to eat. > > A friend of mine confused her valium with her > birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she > doesn't really care. > > They keep telling us to get in touch with our > bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I > heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, > how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in > vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, > "Listen witch ... do it and die." > > The trouble with some women is that > they get all excited about nothing (and then they > marry him). > > I read this article that said the > typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking > too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are > they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day. > > I know what Victoria's Secret is. > The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into > their stuff. > > "If men can run the world, why can't > they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is > it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck. > > Send this to five bright women you > know and make their day!!

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