cheese and toilet paper - a rant
I went to the store down the block from my house to get some cheese and
some toilet paper because you see we were out of cheese and we were also
out of toilet paper and therefore we needed more, and my mother sent me
with 50 cents and a ball of yarn and some bread crumbs to make a trail that I
could follow back so I didn't get lost because sometimes that happens I don't
really know why but it does it's like I don't pay attention to how I get
somewhere so then I can't find my way back. People say I'm stupid but when
they say that I don't listen cuz my mother told me not to listen to them
because they don't know nothin, so I don't listen I just hum as loud as I can
and use an ice pick to poke out each of their eyes and run around screaming
with the eyeballs in my mouth and my shirt on fire until the firemen show up
and throw buckets of water on me and help me into the truck and wrap me
tight in a blanket as snug as a bug in a rug and take me back home and have
a long chat with my mother about my behavior they say I have problems I'm
not sure what they mean but I know that I'm not like other kids. I mean I
may look like other kids, but I don't see like other kids because I view things
as they really are all ugly and slimy and disgusting and putrescent and that's
why I have this attitude towards this world that you and I and him and her
live in and we all act normal on the surface but underneath I'm secretly
waiting to poke out your eyeballs with an ice pick because that's just what
I'm apt to do for some reason I mean I could set you on fire or blow up your
house and your cat and a potato but instead I use an ice pick mainly because
it fits in my pocket and when I'm not poking out your eyes I can chip ice to
make a nice drink for myself and that sometimes relaxes me when I'm having
a tough time like now which is why I'm ranting and raving like one of those
lunatic psychopath people like Jeffrey Dahmer or Charles Manson or John
Wayne Gacy or Richard Speck or The Son of Sam or Albert Fish or any other
of those serial killers that we read about in the papers after they finally get
caught and everyone's like "Oh, they're so weird and let's kill them and burn
them alive for what they've done" but I'm like "Cool!!" and I just study them
and wait for my time to come so that I can be famous and have lots of
admirers. Hmm.. wow, that was rather weird...sorry if I scared anyone. :)
handicapped
email ryan*
