Behold,
the ultimate in evil, boring, brain-dead "art" films!
I'm sure
that by now most people have heard about the latest remake of Shakespeare's®Hamlet,
and this one looks like it could quite possibly become the most popular yet, because in
addition to having subject matter that most children are told from
a very early age is "great" and that they have "bad taste" if they don't
like it, it has the original, unaltered dialog, albeit heavily edited to
make it seem almost tolerable. But that's not the best part. No, the best
part is that all of this unmodified, "Shakespearian®"
dialog is spoken within the context of a modern, urban setting!
If that doesn't spell "plausible entertainment" to you, then buddy
('ey?), you don't know art. Or Jack. But I digress. Or something.
Imagine,
if you will, a man and a woman in a movie theatre (the 3l337 spelling),
calling each other "lady" and "my lord." Actually, I was so annoyed by
the whole idea of it that I didn't remember what they were saying, but
I'm sure I'll find out the next time one of those egotistically bloated
ack-taurs goes on television to tell me about it. "Yeah, instead of a play
within a play it's a movie within a movie, y'know?" Yes, I do, in fact,
know. I just wish I could forget.
But
perhaps I am biased. Indeed, I am of the belief that Shakespeare®
could have written something like this...
This
apple doth displease me
Doing
doingle doo doth dibbledib
If'n
thou art willing to lend me thine ears
They
would surely appease my appetite
Better
than apple. Cuz it displeases me
...and
some nerd could find
a way to interpret it so that it appears to be the greatest testament to
Shakespeare's®
genius ever. It's true. They do the same
thing with the Bible.
Hamlet
is sure to be most popular among people who couldn't get enough of That
Movie With the Four Screens, the name of which escapes me now. The
only way Hamlet could possibly get any more TrEnDy would be if it
had badly updated, adlibbed, Shakespeare®
material done by volunteers from the audience, on four screens, with bad
camera work and no re-takes. Oh, and it must be on streaming Real-Video,
too.
This
uhhh... collection of sentences was written rather sloppily on 5/18/00
by Roneldo. Or so the Communists would
have you believe. |