Chapter One
CHAPTER 1
"Do you, Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick, take Amber Greta Maroon, as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" asked Father Chuck Ivey.
"I do," said Chris surely.
"And do you, Amber Greta Maroon, take Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" asked Father Ivey.
"I do," Amber said softly, but surely. She could no longer think of herself, she had others to think of. Chris could feel her trembling beside him and he squeezed her hand.
"Then by the power vested in me, by the state od Pennsylvania, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride," said Father Ivey, closing his bible.
Chris leaned in and brushed his lips across Amber's. He pretended not to notice her clamy hands or the coldness of her lips under his. This is supposed to be a happy day! He said to himself. He had waited his entire life for this moment. He had loved Amber from the first moment he had seen her and now she was his.
The small crowd in the church erupted into applause, oblivious to Amber's inner turmoil.
"Please try to look happy for your new husband," Chris said smiling wanly at his new wife.
His wife that did not love him.
*****
Chris rested his head in his hands on the table and watched as his wife danced with everyone. Everyone except for him.
He thought about Amber and the conditions through which they came to be married. They had gone to school together. They hadn't been close but they did hang out, went to the same parties, and had the same friends. Amber never knew that Chris had fallen in love with her.
When they were sixteen, Amber had started dating Chris's friend Randy. It broke his heart to see her with someone else but he learned to live with the pain. It wasn't like she was moving away and he would never get to see her again. And he knew that Randy would treat her right.
Or that's what he thought.
Amber had been dating for the past two and a half years and exactly one month to the day they had broken up. Amber had shown up at Chris's apartment. She was crying and even though he knew she shouldn't, he drew her into his arms while she sobbed out her angst.
Apparently she and Randy had broken up. She was pregnant. He had asked her to marry him then, just for the baby's sake, he had told her. She had agreed, albeit a bit reluctantly.
So here they were, married. With no love on her part and a baby on the way. It was only twelve days after graduation. Chris didn't know how he could support a family and go to college. He knew that somewhere along the line he would have to make a choice. A very difficult choice, one that he had no desire to make. Ever.
He sighed and pretended to be happy, as another wave of guests came over to the table to congratulate him.
*****
That night Chris sat on the edge of the bed in his t-shirt and boxers. Amber was in the bathroom. He wanted to make love to her, it was their wedding night, but he wasn't going to force her.
Amber stepped out of the bathroom, the florescent lights silhouetted her body and made her appear angelic.
His Angel.
She was wearing one of the nightgowns that one of her friends had given her. It was modest very modest looking. In the box, but on her, it was. . . . .stunning, Chris thought to himself. It had a lacey top that stretched across her firm breasts and a long flowing skirt. It was chaste but the light from the bathroom rendered it completely sheer. Chris felt a stiffening in the region of his groin.
"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to," he offered. She walked toward him and for one crazy instant he thought that she would tell him that she did love him. She sighed.
"I suppose I might as well get used to the idea of sleeping with you," she said and Chris felt his heart break. Even thought she had always appeared angelic and pure Chris had a feeling that she hadn't been. That Randy wasn't the only guy she had been with.
She reached down and pulled the nightgown over her head. She was so beautiful to him. She would never know how much he loved her. She was only a few inches shorter than him and her thick dark brown hair was pulled back into a pony tail. The lights glinted off of her natural red highlights.
Her body was perfectly white and smooth. She wasn't athletic and she believed that the sun would damage her skin. That accounted for her slight cherubic chubbiness.
Amber sat next to him on the bed and leaned in for his kiss. He kissed her with all of the passion that was in him but her response to him was merely perfunctory. She reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head. His boxers soon followed.
He gently pushed her back onto the bed and ran his hands over her body. She opened her legs and Chris entered her with one thrust. Even though her eyes were open, they were glazed over, like even now, she was thinking about Randy.
For Chris it was over much to soon. She was truly his now. His wife. His love. His angel.
As soon as it was done she rolled over onto her side and fell asleep. Chris stayed awake though, contemplating this strange thing called marriage.
*****
Chris awoke the next morning and Amber was gone. He took a shower, got dressed, and waited. She walked in a few hours later. There cheeks were flushed and she was obviously startled to see him up. She flashed him what could only be called a guilty smile.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think that you would be up. I. . .I went for my morning jog," she said lowering her eyes. Chris could tell easily that she was lying. What was she really doing?
She came out of the bathroom and sat next to him on the bed. She grabbed his hand and held it tightly in hers.
"You know Chris," she began. "We're friends and even though there is no real love between us we have to make it work for my child. I figure if we practice maybe love will come later." She began to pull his shirt over his head.
"Amber, what are you doing?" he asked her, stunned that she would be taking the initiative. She flashed him the smile that he had fallen in love with.
"Likw I said, practice makes perfect."
*****
9 months later
"OK, push, Mrs. Kirkpatrick!" said the doctor. Amber pushed and a head appeared between her legs. Chris held her hand and tried not to get in the way.
"Almost there!" Chris whispered encouragingly. Amber pushed again and her baby slithered out. Chris thought that the birth process was repulsive but his opinion was about to quickly change.
The doctor layed the slimy, squirming, screaming infant in his arms. He stared at it in shock.
"It's a girl," the doctor said proudly, as if he had given birth to the child, instead of Amber. Amber hadn't wanted to know the sex of her baby until it was born.
Chris knew that t wasn't his daughter but he would do anything for her. He would raise her as his daughter and she would be in every sense of the world except biologically.
"She's great," said Amber, dully.
"One more push, Mrs. Kirkpatrick!" said the doctor. Amber pushed again and another cry filled the air. Amber and Chris looked at each other in astonishment.
"It looks like twins!" said the doctor handing Amber the second baby.
"It's a boy," whispered Chris. The nurse took the babies so that they could be cleaned. Chris sat in shock, he would go to the end of the world for them.
The nurse went to put the babies back into Amber's arm once they had been cleaned but she shook her head.
"Let their father see them, please," she said. The nurse looked at her oddly.
"They need to nurse Mrs. Kirkpatrick," she said.
"I'm going to bottle feed them," said Amber absently. "Their father wants to see them." Chris looked at Amber sharply.
The nurse shrugged and placed the babies in Chris's arms. He stared at them in wonder, they were so perfect. So tiny.
"We don't have names picked out," he said.
"Oh. . . .I'm sure that you can think of something," said Amber, closing her eyes. "Good night."
Chris sat dumbfounded. How could she care so little about her children? He wasn't even their biological father and he cared more about them than she did.
He thought about what he would name his children. He liked Bradley James for his son and Alexandria Everclear for his daughter. He didn't think that Amber would care what their names were.
He held them until the nurse came back to take them to the nursery. Even then, his mind and heart were with them. Their mother may not love them, but he most certainly did. They were perfect. They were his. His angels.
*****
2 months later
Chris awoke to the sound of crying. He looked at his alarm clock.
2:00 AM.
He knew that Amber wouldn't get up to feed them so he did, like always. He heated the bottlese that he always kept ready. He ran up to their room with the bottles in one hand and some towels in the other.
"Chris!" screamed Amber, throwing the bedroom door open. That only made the babies scream louder. "Shut them up would you?" she snapped. "I have to go shopping tomorrow!" She slammed the door before he could protest.
He had always loved Amber but now that he had her, he realized that it had never been love, just lust. When you're young it's ahrd to tel the two apart.
He shooke his head. How could he have been so stupid? He mentaly berated himself. He was only nineteen, and in a year he was going to move to Florida so that he could finish school there, and be closer to his dad, but he didn't know how he could with two newborns. He already had all of his classes scheduled so that he would be able to spend the most time with them. His mother watched them during the day, when Amber was shopping and he came home at night.
He could always divorce Amber. She would let him keep the kids because she didn't care about them. His name was on their birth certificates so as far as anyone knew, they were his.
Tomorrow, he decided. Tomorrow he would tell Amber.
*****
Chris sprang out of bed early the next morning, despite the fact that he had woken up at two am. Amber was already gone and it was Saturday. He got to spend the entire weekend with his kids.
He changed their diapers and fed them their bottles. He marveled at how big they already were. Before he knew it they would be all grown up.
He played around on his keyboard as they slept. Maybe he would write them a song. He heard the phone ringing and grabbed it before it woke them up.
"Hello?" he whispered.
"Hello Mr. Kirkpatrick," said a foreign male voice.
"Yes?"
"This is the Clarion Police Chief. I'm afraid that I have some bad knews about your wife."
"Amber?" asked Chris stunned.
"Her car was driven off of the side of the Mill Pond Bridge. Her car was found at the bottom but there was not trace of her body. She is considered missing."
"Oh my God," whispered Chris. He had wanted her out of his life but not like this.
"You'll need to come down to the station," continued the officer.
"Is tomorrow morning OK?" asked Chris, who was still in shock.
"That would be fine. I'm sorry sir. Good day," the officer said and hung up.
Chris had wanted Amber out of their lives but not to drop off the face of the earth. He did love her, always had, always would. His love had just lessened when he learned of her true personality. But she would alwayd be his angel.
