There was white as far as she could see, and it stretched out before her, sky meeting ground in an endless blur of powder and wind. Though she knew it must have been cold, she felt as though her entire body was on fire, burning with warmth. Stray snowflakes landed on her face, sticking to her eyelashes, and she spun around in the snow slowly, smiling. A crunch of snow behind her made her aware of a presence, and she stopped spinning and looked behind her, trying to see something, anything through the blizzard.

Instead of seeing a person, or a thing, she saw a trail of red in the snow behind her, a drizzle of blood all over the plain white snow. She bent down and examined it, touching the red snow with her fingertips quizzically. Where? She thought. Where did all of this blood come from? She took another step back, and noticed that the blood followed her, marking her path along the snow, pooling in her footprints. How….?

She tried to run from it, but the blood followed her, staining the footprints and the pathway. Eventually, she grew tired, and felt very sick and very weak. Though she must have been out of breath, she wasn’t breathing heavily, and in fact, it seemed as though she wasn’t breathing at all. What’s happening to me? Am I even alive? What’s happening?!

When she brought a hand up to her chest, instead of feeling the normal, strong beating of her heart, she felt nothing.

Bulma’s eyes snapped open quickly, and she gasped for air. She had the sudden impulse to run, to outrun the blood, the pain, death. There were hands holding her down, moving all around her, and she struggled to get away, to break free from the restraint. She was too weak, however, and eventually fell back, sobbing, but still struggling slightly.

“Bulma! Bulma, calm down!” A voice was crying, and soothing hands smoothed the hair back from her face, wiped tears away gently.

She rose her head slightly, and though her blurred vision, she saw ChiChi standing beside her.

“ChiChi!” She exclaimed, and tried to sit up.

“Iie, Bulma.” The voice said again. “It’s me, Videl.”

Her vision cleared up slightly then, and she saw that it was in fact Videl, looking very much like ChiChi with her hair tied back in a ponytail. Videl leaned forward and placed a very cool hand on Bulma’s forehead, as if to check her temperature. Bulma shuddered. Her hands felt like ice.

“You’re burning up.” Videl informed her. “And you’ve got quite a cut on your head.”

“A cut?” She wondered aloud, and rose her hand to feel, but could barely move.

“Just like me, Kaasan!” Trunks’s voice called out. He appeared over her then, grinning like crazy, with a bandage wrapped around his soft lavender hair. He pointed to a spot over his ear. “Right there, corner of a dresser. Pretty gruesome, eh? I was knocked unconscious for a good while too, but I woke up after Tayhei shot down all of those Saiya-jins. Videl nursed us both back to health.”

I don’t feel all that healthy. She thought silently. I feel like I’m half dead….

“What happened?” She asked in a shaky voice. Trunks helped her sit up, and she looked around the room blankly, trying to remember what had happened before she was knocked unconscious. “The ship was under attack….Is everyone all right?”

“Hai!” Trunks chirped. “And we’re on course to land on Sukuashi. There was engine damage and Tayhei told us that we’d need to land in order to fix it. And since Sukuashi was the closest place to land.…We decided to just go ahead with the mission.”

Videl looked away, and Bulma noticed the pain in her sky blue eyes. “That isn’t for sure yet, Trunks. We’re just landing to fix the ship. What happens after that, well….We’ll just have to wait and find out. Perhaps we will just return home right away. That would be the prudent thing to do.”

“And just leave ChiChi when we’re so close?” Bulma exclaimed, and she rubbed her temples gingerly, wincing in pain. “I don’t think that’s a very intelligent idea. It could be months before we return. As long as we’re on Sukuashi, we should take measures to rescue ChiChi. We will just have to be very careful and keep Marron’s safety in mind.”

ChiChi had been a dear friend to her, and though she hadn’t really given it much thought, she was very frightened for her. She wished she had been more understanding during the rough times that ChiChi had experienced after Gokuu left. ChiChi had sought her out numerous times for friendship and guidance, but Bulma had been too busy with her own life, with Bra, and Capsule Corporation to pay any attention to her. Guilt was eating away at her. ChiChi had been so good to her over the years, and yet, she had taken it all for granted. This was a great way to make it up to her, a great way to prove to ChiChi just how much their friendship meant to her.

“I just want ChiChi back home, safe.” Bulma finished up, and she tried to smile.

“Are you okay, Kaasan?” Trunks asked her, looking concerned. “You don’t look so good. Did you hit your head harder than we thought?”

“I’m….” She trailed off, not exactly knowing how to answer him. She wasn’t so sure if she was okay or not. She had just experienced one of the worst nightmares she'd ever had, and besides that....There was something wrong, there was something eating away at her, she just didn’t know exactly what it was. She felt as though everything was falling away from her. It seemed like everyone and everything kept on moving and growing and living while she stayed behind. She was feeling old, tired, bitter and pained. And there was no way that anyone, not even her own son, could understand what she was feeling inside. Well, maybe one person….But I doubt he’d want to talk to me about it.

“I’m okay.” She finally managed to squeak out, hoping that her eyes didn’t give away her lie. Neither one of them seemed to notice, and they both helped her to her feet. “Is….Vejiita around here someplace? I’d like to talk to him.” Bulma asked quietly.

Just a machine. She thought, while walking towards her frighteningly yellow room with Marron and Juunana-gou. Just a cold, unfeeling machine. Is that all I am? Is that really, truly all I am? It didn’t really matter if she truly was or not, what mattered was the fact that Kuririn, her own husband, thought that she was. All this time, she had always trusted him and believed in him, but all the while, he had never given up his distrust of her. It hurt, it really hurt. But what if he’s right? A small, persistent voice in the back of her head began. What if you are just a machine?

She tried to silence the voice, tried not to think about it, but it kept taunting her. It was infuriating the way that she couldn’t stop thinking about Gero, about his experiment and how he ruined her life. She paused to open the door to her room, her hands shaking. Damn you, Kuririn! If you hadn’t of said anything, I wouldn’t even be thinking about this! In anger, her hands gripped the door just a little too hard, and it was ripped off of it’s hinges and hung in the door frame uselessly.

“Mama?” Marron asked hesitantly, staring at the damage. “Are you mad at me?”

Juunana-gou snorted in laughter. “I don’t think you’re the one she wants to kill right now, Marron.”

Juuhachi-gou took a deep breath and tucked her short blond hair behind one ear and stared at her daughter, who suddenly looked so young and scared standing there. “Iie, Marron. I’m not mad at you. I did tell you that you had to stay behind, but in truth, I wanted you to come all along. It was your father’s decision for you to stay, not mine. Right now though, I could care less what that man says or thinks.”

The three of them entered the room, and Juunana-gou studied the door, trying to lift it back into place. He had an amused look on his handsome face that Juuhachi-gou didn’t like very much, but she wasn’t about to question him about it in front of Marron. Marron headed immediately for her dresser, and began looking through Juuhachi-gou’s jewelry. She had seen it all a thousand times before, of course, every single piece that belonged to her. But for some reason, she was always drawn to the jewels, and had loved to try the pieces on ever since childhood.

She watched as Marron lifted up one of her earrings and held it up to her ear, examining it critically in the mirror. It was true. Marron had grown up. Her cheeks, which had once been so round and childish, had become smoother and thinner, and her body was finally beginning to fill out. She was going to be a beautiful young woman, and Juuhachi-gou was proud of her. The only thing Marron lacked was experience. She had hoped that this mission to Sukuashi would cure that. She wanted to show her daughter that there was more to life than school, boys, and clothes. Some adventure would be good for her, and Juuhachi-gou simply couldn’t understand why Kuririn couldn’t see that.

“I hope no one else is mad at me….” Marron said, her lower lip trembling slightly. “I never meant to hurt anyone….I just wanted….”

“I know what you wanted to do.” Juuhachi-gou interrupted. “And I understand completely. I’m sure the others do too.”

“Papa doesn’t.”

Juuhachi-gou glared suddenly. “He doesn’t understand anything.”

“It sounds like he understands us well enough.” Juunana-gou countered. “We’re just a couple of machines.”

She turned to him with her face drawn in fury. “Juunana-gou, I really do not feel like discussing this right now.”

Juunana-gou nodded, his blue eyes narrowing at Marron. “You don’t want the kid to know the truth, eh? She’ll have to find out someday Juuhachi-gou. She wouldn’t want to wake up and find you standing above her, ready to rip her little heart out, now would she?”

Marron paled, and Juuhachi-gou took a threatening step towards Juunana-gou. “That isn’t going to happen, kisama. Quit trying to scare her.”

His face softened, and her placed a comforting hand on Marron’s head, looking down at her face. “Right. We’re not just machines. We’re perfectly one hundred percent normal and never have desires to kill or torture anyone.” A dreamy, fake look appeared on his face. “In fact, our greatest inner desire is to grow flowers, pet squirrels and share our abounding love with everyone on Earth!”

He batted his eyelashes at Juuhachi-gou innocently and grinned. “Better?”

“You’re hilarious, Juunana.” Juuhachi-gou answered sarcastically. “Absolutely hilarious.”

“I do my best.”

Despite herself, Juuhachi-gou had to smile. “Juunana, I---”

“Ah, excuse me?” A voice interrupted. All three of them turned to see Kuririn standing in the doorway, looking very frightened. He was eyeing the broken door with a look on his face that could only be described as horrified.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to talk.” He continued, taking a step into the room. He looked into Juuhachi-gou’s eyes, pleading with her silently. She forced herself to remain calm, and looked down at him indignantly.

“Yes?”

Kuririn eyed Juunana-gou warily, and shot a glance at Marron, who was glaring at him. “Can’t we talk in private, Juuhachi?”

Seeing him standing there, looking so vulnerable and lonely, almost made her defenses crumble down to nothing. She wanted to make everything right; she wanted everything to go back the way that it had been before. Before she knew he thought of her as just a machine. Before she had realized that she really was. But it had already been done, and there was no venturing back into the past now. She was angry, and she would be lying if she didn’t show it.

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about.” She replied calmly, and folded her arms across her chest.

Kuririn shook his head. “We have everything to talk about. I really need you right now, Juuhachi. The least you could do is give me five minutes of your time.”

“She said she didn’t want to talk.” Juunana-gou threatened, and Juuhachi-gou silently thanked him for coming to her rescue. “If you can’t understand that, then maybe you should leave.”

Kuririn stared at her for a long moment, and she felt herself slowly breaking down, staring into his deep, innocent eyes. Then he blinked, and looked down, and Juuhachi-gou swore she saw a tear fall from his eyes.

“Maybe I should.” He said, backing away. “Maybe I should.”

Chapter 37
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