Before I begin another day's entry, first, a activity that requires reader participation. This is for all the guys out there: please email me back with your response to this following poem:

Choose one or more of the previous poems, and send me a feedback of your response (reactions) to the poem. What does it make you think of? Do you think the moral points made in the poem(s) are valid? If so, how? What are the poets trying to convey in the poems? [You don't have to answer all the questions I put up] Which poem(s) remind you of any other poem you've read before?

*10:05 PM* Man, time flies fast when you're on the phone. *sighs* Okay, rule for today. No more than 5 minutes on the phone!

Casey came to see me this morning, and gave me a beautiful red rose! It was gorgeous and I loved it! He's soooo sweet! =) Oh, gonna do something else now. :-p not telling cuz it's personal

05.03.02 9:08 PM

I had an unbelievably freaky dream last night, and usually, I don't like to write about scary things at night because it might trigger my conscience, but I want to do that tonight because I want to be scared silly. I'm not exactly in the best mood right now because of some events which occured this afternoon, so let me get back to the dream. I spoke to Casey last night/this morning, and we stumbled upon the conversation about wicca. I mentioned how I was into that and how I used to do dream interpretations and actual 'transportation' thingamajiggers. After I got off the phone with him, I didn't finish my homework, and just started my meditation to get into the mode. It seemed as if it only took two seconds before this spirit came to me, and tried to strangle me. I recollected the time when the 'really bad thing' happened that made me stop practicing wicca, but last night, I didn't stop. I was extremely afraid of this new entity that was pratically wrestling me down and chaining me with it's arms and legs. I couldn't see the face becaues it was just a dark spirit. It brought fear into my hearts, and it could be seen through the goose bumps on my body, but I didn't stop. I began to cough, and though my eyes were closed, the eyes of my soul can see the dark form enrapture me. It was trying to warn me or threaten me; I couldn't distinguish. But for some reason, I thought about 'duty,' and I began to give into this dark creature of the night. It lasted for a while, and I was trying to free myself through my mind control. But for the longest time, it didn't work, and I felt hopelessly trapped by the spirit. Until this morning, even when I woke up, I felt the sense that my room was haunted by that spirit. I don't know about tonight, but maybe I'll try to approach it and see what kind of message it has to show me.

Something horrible happened today, and it was all my fault. I had piano lesson this afternoon, and I had previously told Casey. He offered to go with me after school to piano lesson, but I wasn't sure if my mom was going to come pick me up. I told him I would call him to tell him what was going to happen, but I forgot. Actually, I remembered during period 4 (the second to last period of the day), and if I wanted, I could've just called him during the 5 minute transition period or be late to period 5, but stupid me didn't. It was a 2:40 dismissal, and after school, I tried to rush to find an available piano to practice before the lesson (so Mrs. Lee doesn't get serenely mad at me). I turned on my phone and called my mom to check if she was going to pick me up, and she said that she would. And I proceeded along to the chapel, where I usually practice, but the Choir was having their practice, so Mr. Smith lend me his room to practice. I went, and just as I was about to start practicing, Casey called informing me that he was by the school with Nick. Before I proceed along, I have to rewind a bit to talk about what caused my mentality of that specific moment. Today was our last day to get microgrades before our quarter/semester/year ended, and for AP English, when Mrs. OKelly handed me my 'progress report', it showed that I only have an 84%. *pauses for a really long time* In my school, that's a C. I couldn't believe it, but it's reality, and I began to realize that the consequences to my actions are slowly creeping up on me. I was so close to an A last quarter with a 92+ percent, and now, it totally dropped. I took a look at the reasons and it turned out it was my vocabulary tests that I didn't have time to study for, or didn't study for because I couldn't focus. I had to prioritize and practice time management. I've been practicing piano less these days because of my progressing social life. For the past few weeks, I've neglected my piano practices for other, what I think is more, important factors of my life. But then, today, I came to see that it's time I got my act together. I can't just indulge myself in my social life! But it's still no excuse for what I did today. When Casey called to tell me that he was near, I simply replied that I couldn't see him, and it made me feel horrible the actions that I took to prioritize my life. I knew I had to practice piano, but I couldn't forgive myself for saying that to him. I knew that if I went to see him, I would end up spending my whole afternoon before piano lessons with him. I knew that though I practiced piano, I still wasn't as good as I can be, or isn't completely prepared. And I couldn't handle giving half-assed performances to Mrs. Lee after all the hard work she puts into teaching me all the techniques. The Guild performance is in a month, and if I'm not going to start really getting the pieces down, I don't know if I'll be able to score high on my performance. Yet, I can't accept the fact that I had to sacrifice my time with Casey just to put all that crap in order. I know I shouldn't swear, but I'm still really mad at myself. I did fairly decent at piano lesson, but Casey was all over my mind. And after piano lesson, I had to prepare for tonight's Youth discussion, but I couldn't focus. Tonight's Youth Group session went well. Christine went, and so did Ken, along with every one else. Jenny and I lead the discussio, and it went, overall, pretty well. I think Christine and Christopher really mix well; they were totally opening up to each other after the discussion. =p BUT, back to my selfishly absorbed life; I can hit myself now. I wonder if Casey is mad at me...I would be mad at myself if I ever did anything like that. I wonder what's going to happen. Eck!

What's worse? SAT II is tomorrow and I don't know how well I'll do. I didn't fully prepare, and I don't think I can focus if I don't have the problem out of my head. Moreover, my mom is being superly bitchy tonight. Ah! Screw her. I'm just mad now. I know I'll be better later, but I really need to vent. And it'll do me no good to talk to Mister 2 because I'll just get more messed up in the head. I hope I do well on the SAT II tomorrow.

05.13.02

Hmm, took this quiz thingamajigger a few minutes ago, and this is my result. *chuckles* Maaaannn.
 

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi. Art used (c) by JonathonArt.com

You are a woman of worldly wisdom and experience. You are sensitive, protective (maybe even motherly), you are highly respected and praised. Your gentility and grace always shine through. You have a very beautiful moral nature that defines who you are. You are a woman others seek to befriend and they would never want to cross you.

Which Member of the Endless Are You?

Gonna go to dance class laters with Kuris. Weehee! =p Oh, besides that....um...chatted...played piano. Had the Honor's Convocation yesterday. Overall it's pretty swell. Everything's hocky dory again after the chatty watty, and I'm speaking in a very icky manner. But blah! =p hehe. Only two more weeks until school ends. I don't even have to be at school on the last day. Just cruisin' it now until the exams. Oh, finally practicing time management. And my accountability buddy is actually being so darn geepers accountable. Thanks dude! And Casey is still awesome. *grins* Good day now.

05.16.02 | 11:21 PM

Oops, I did it again: slept when I came home, now it's super late at night, and I just woke up. Blah. Exam tomorrow as well--yeep! I need, desperately, to study. It's for 3-D design, and currently, all I remember is soldering and some other stuff. Man, I'm hungry..I'll probably get food later. Anyhow, haven't written stuff in here, so here's the currents for this week: Honor's Convocation and several award presentations were given this week. For the Honor's Convocation, I received certificiates in Christian Discipleship and Social Justice (Amanda and I joked around that because I'm doing so well in religion class, I might as well become a nun!), and AP US History (Amazing I got this. *shudders*). I also received merit pins for Community Service ( 300+ hours...no wonder I have no leisure time. =p ) and for being on the Principal's List (3.6+). Then at flag on Tuesday, I got the Lit. Corp pin, and the Audio Visual Crew certificate on Wednesday. This morning, Thursday, Senora gave me an envelope with the President's Award for Educational Excellence inside... it's from President Bush. Ooooooo. ^:^ Man, I feel so much like a nerd (and egotist) bragging about the awards that I got. Eck! Shame on me. But you know, I could've done a lot better if I didn't slack off during this quarter. I could've got the certificate for Chemistry and 3-d along with Commercial Design (because they're my ideal of 'cruise classes'), and maybe Pre-Calc (if I actually studied better for my tests). Kat and I were talking the other day, and we're supposedly considered the "math geeks" of the class because we're in OML and all these other math activities, and she's always coming up with 'profound' questions for Mrs. Kula, and whenever others have problems, they always come to us or whatever. But I guess we don't push ourselves as much as we should. (Hmmm, maybe I should just say "I" because I can't speak for Kat.) So, maybe if I pushed myself harder for my math courses, I might get a higher grade than what I'm getting now. (If I was a reader, and I read this previous paragraph, I'd hit myself for all the flaunting. Grrr...this is so unlike me...but oh well, here's to the informational age!). Anyways, enough blabbing.

*checks voice message*

There's two; one from This Week magazine and another from Mister Two. *checks clock* Sorry, too late to call back. That reminds me, I didn't even call Casey tonight. *groans* Goodness, I hope he's sleeping and doing well in school (....like he has any trouble. :-p ). *sighs*

Oh, we got our yearbook last week, and now it's circulating around the school while students put their trademark in 'em. I just got mine out yesterday and passed it on to the massive loads of classmates. Amanda has it now, and hopefully, she's plopping her trademark anime character in it with a really nifty pose. *sigh* Ya know, this year's yearbook isn't as attractive as I would like it. Even though the cover is a hot red, the images are so absurdly off that it ruins the whole creative integrity of the pictures. I think it's because we had a very small Audion staff this year so there weren't as much focus on the prettiness of the book but more on getting the job finished. I hope a lot more people join next year so we can have a much more stylish yearbook. I got invited to the next year Audion staff, but I don't think I can fit it into my Senior year schedule. Goodness, Senior year! Wow! I can't believe next year's going to be Senior year already.

Most of the students went to Mr. Fong and registered for classes already. I registered for:
1) AP English 12 (We got our books today, and there's six. We have to read four of them during the summer. The novels are Pride and Prejudice, Brave New World, Jane Eyre, A Portrait of an Artist, Hamlet, and Rosencrantz Guildenstern Are Dead. AP Short Forms are due for the first four. Hope I get it done before summer ends.)
2) AP Economy (I read over the testing times today for AP Econ, and it turns out that they have a super duperly long exam. Eck. I hope I don't slack off in this class. Mrs. Choy is probably going to teach it, and I really really really really want to get on her good side. Plus, I really want a finance advantage..maybe even get into econ. if I don't like engineering anymore.)
3) AP Calculus (I decided not to take this during the summer.)
4) Dance Technique (Yep, it seems like a fun class. With all the hard class, I need some cruise classes to balance it off. I dropped Advance Chemistry for this. *pouts* )
5) Street Law (Something to use for the real world.)
6) PE I and II (Though I really don't want to take PE, it's mandatory, and I guess I can live with it in my schedule. I hope it's all crammed in one semester so I don't have to sweat all year round.)
7) Java programming or HTML (It doesn't matter which, but I hope I get one. I've been waiting for an decent comp. class for as long as I can remember!)
8) Religion: Lifestyles (Mandatory) and Theology Seminar (A new class to learn about contemporary theologians. This is suppose to be a writing intensive class *sighs* I'm getting tired off the religion classes. I know they're suppose to help us gain spiritual insight, but this is just too much. Four years of religion...goodness gracious. I hope the excess of religion doesn't hinder my later desire to know God more.)

Those should fill up all my schedules. If I don't get all of them, I'll either pick up choir or take study hall or maybe even pick up that peer mediation class. *shrugs* Oh! For the summer, I'm going to take two course at UH by their Outreach program. This afternoon, my mom and I went to the campus, and paid my dues, which was $814 for two 3-credit class. I'm going to take Physics for term 1, then Psychology for the second term. It starts the week after school ends, and they're both morning class. I'm really excited about them because I get to be on a college campus, and several friends from school are also going. I don't know if we have any classes together though. Man, my summer is packed already. From dance class (I might pick up Jazz and the Adv. kid along with the Beginner Street), to the college course, to piano (Guild is on the second week of June! Yeep!), to Drivers Ed (probably at the Y across the UH campus), to reading the numerous books for school (and several others I have on my reading list that I haven't look at..like C.S. Lewis and those Left Behind series and others by Rusch that I'm just dying to read), to spending tmie with friends and you know who, and so on and so forth. Youth Group is going camping at the end of July, so I'm also looking forward to that, but I hope I don't have to carry my Psych book and review and all those. I also have to work on the websites that I mod like the APUSH, and Youth Group, and my own. I might have to help some other people because they asked. And then there's the dance performance that I'm determined to be in which is on the second week of August. Summer school ends on August 15, and Senior (!) year begins Aug. 20. I also need to get my Senior portrait done before school year starts, as well as pick up books for class and so forth. Man, I am so arranging my clubs for next year. I know I'm going to be in OML (please let Kat be captain), NHS, Audio-Visual (I hope Mr. Plourde doesn't make me the captain *whimper*), Lit. Corp, Techie, and maybe I'll pick up Speech and Debate again. I already informed Krystle that I really want to dance for next year's pep rallies, so that's something else along with my hectic schedule. But you know, I'd rather be busy than bored at home, sittin' on my dull ass mulling online or in my diary over how pathetic my life is. =p Just kidding! Oh, and of course, there's Youth Group next year too, and I guess I'm obligated to act as a student leader. But anyways, maybe if I get Mister Two to take a more active role, I can get more time to myself. hehe. *pouts some more* Guess what I'm thinking of!

hehe, you're not going to believe it...or maybe you will because you know me too well. But I was thinking about a new fashion style next year, for Senior year, ya know, with different style of hair and clothes or whatnot. Maybe I'll actually wear shorts for a change. *ponders over that* Nah, I'm just not a shorts person. I think I'll still keep the conservative look, but I'll most definitely add a few more flairs. Hopefully, I'll be able to get my whole time management ordeal down before I head off to college, which brings me to the next point: I'll have to register for college and all those. Man! Eropgrrrrawwner. I don't really feel like leaving the islands, but I want to see what the mainland is like. Here's my college choices listed in the order that I want to attend:

1) University of British Columbia (Yeah, I reeeeaaally want to go to Canada.)
2) Boston University or Boston College (I heard Boston College is better, but for some quirky reason, Boston University appeals to me more.)
3) University of Hawaii--Manoa (This is actually at the bottom of my list, saved as my last resort, but I'm putting it here because it's one of the certain ones, even if it's the last last possible choice.)
4) University of Pennsyvania (I suppose it's ivy league..and I actually .....well..maybe. It was either this or Stanford! When I was younger, I really wanted to go to Yale, but I know I have a slight chance since my priorities have changed. Maybe I'll just apply to all of them and see. University of Notre Dame is another that I might want to try for, but even if I do get in, I might not want to attend it.)
5) University of Southern California ( I'm just looking at this...not sure if I'll go. Personally, I know the UC schools are great in the academics but I'm just not sure yet if I want to go to a West Coast school. I'm looking to East coasts schools, with colder weather, and all those things... But I'm so keeping USC in mind because they offer a lot of scholarships, it's a pretty good academic school, and of course, um....something. =-p I wonder if Nancy is going to transfer after her Freshman year in UH. There's a lot of possibilities going around.)
6) Amherst and Dartmouth and Cornell (Like U. Penn, these are schools that I'm going to apply to, but might not get in or might not want to go even if I'm accepted. *shrugs*)
7) Gonzaga (Only because Mr. Fong wants me to look at this school and, well, he's a support of me going to this school for some reason. But the dude graduated from University of San Diego, but he's not telling me to look at U. San Diego. ::rolls eyes:: )

Maria and Coco are going to U.C. Irvine. Christine is going to Boston College. Julia is going to Gonzaga. I think a lot of people are staying at UH, like Harmony. I know Kuris is looking for universities in Japan, and Katie really wants to go to that one college with the scot irsih thingy going on. =p Hmmm, well, college is definitely on my mind. There's only 1 week of school left, and I really don't have to be at school on Friday except for the mass, and Senior year seems so close and even graduation. Golly, 3/4 of my high school career is almost done. I'm hesitant to leave, but I'm excited about going off to college. Oh anyways! I still have my final exam for 3d tomorrow along with several homeworks due. I better get started on them because it's getting late in the night. But I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight. I still have to practice my piano pieces (don't want to look bad infront of Mrs. Lee) and review for next weeks' final exams. *sighs* You know, whenever I think of next year, I get sad...cuz...Casey will be gone. *a few seconds pass* But we'll always keep in touch, so that should make up for it. I hope he has a great year with Nick at USC, and even though I can't be with him, someone much more qualified than me can, ya know? =p =)

Wow, if I go, then that means I only have one more year to spend with the Youth Group too. Awwww, I'm going to miss everyone, especially Mister Two and his jokes. You know, I miss Maria now, even though she's not gone yet. OML just won't be the same without her. *sniffle* I'm going to go to her graduation next Saturday, and hopefully, that won't be the last time I see her. And then there's also Coco, and Lucky, and all my Senior friends. You know, I'm very concerned about next year's OML team. I think we have a full team, but I'm not sure if the devotion is going to be there, so I think, Kat and I have to pull in more people if we want to get first next year. I know it's great that Vicky's going to be part of our team, but will she be doing Mock Trial next year? Same thing goes for Jennifer, because this year, she hasn't always attended the meets due to other activities. I hope Karen and Dai can participate more. We really need everyone to score points next year. If I can, I'll try to score perfect or somewhere close. And I know Kat is very dedicated, thank God for Kat! =)

But anyways, my stomach is growling and my 3d papers are yelling at me to pay more attention to them. lol So, I'll catch this page thingamajigger laters! Hope everyone's day is going smoothly. Pixie out.

05.17.02
What a horrible morning. I hate it when people over-react. It makes me over-react, and then all hell breaks loose. =(

05.20.02 | 3:15 PM

Did more quiz thingamajiggers...actually, I took these quizzes last week, but only putting this here now. I should have a separate thingy for this.

Stay With Me: You're sassy and cheeky, and everyone loves you! Perky and upbeat, you don't care whether life is controlled by fate or choice - you're just there to live it up and love every second of it! Your positive attitude is a true inspiration! ADVICE: Being so wrapped up in good times, you may tend to neglect your responsibilities. Don't forget that real good times are built on a foundation of fulfilled responsibilities. What's your CoCo theme song?

Butterfly: Spry, cheeky and flirtatious! You love Asian pop culture and thrive on Pocky and candy colours. You enjoy attention lavished upon your pretty self. You want a partner who knows how to have fun. No wallflowers for you! What's your DDR theme song?

Who's your DBZ guy?

As the graphic says, you're sweet, hard-working, and loyal. You believe in justice and you're not afraid of sticking with something for a while. You're determined; once you set your mind to something you'll work as hard and long as you have to to achieve that goal. Get Sorted!

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Which Anne Rice Vampire are you?
by Tera

Oh! Emily is next to me, and she says, "Who you talking to? What is that for?*in a very high voice*...I love you... Hi...Hug....I think I'm high on marshmellows."

And Christine is here too, and she says, "Oh. Who is it. Wait what. Stop!!!! Hi. I don't know what this is, but okay. Bye. What is it?"

It's meeh website!!!

Kuris, "Ohhhhhhhhhh. I get it."