It was cool fall day and AJ was walking up and down the streets of Everwood. His eyes showed so much pain anger. The thought of him losing his grandmother was horrible and unbearable for him. People walked beside, behind, away from him, and in other directions minding their own business, doing their own thing untill the night sky fell. AJ then walked into a small coffee shop and ordered some coffee and took it outside to his car. When AJ got into the car he could still hear his grandmother's voice. AJ's grandmother Ursula was very sick her heart was incredibly weak. She had been in the hospital for a while, and the doctors had advised the family for Usula to stay in the hospital till the end of her days.

When AJ came to visit Usurla at the hospital, she looked pale, even though her hair was still red and she was smiling when she saw her grandson coming to see her AJ could feel the pain hidden within her.

"Sweetie...my darling grandson I'm soo happy you've come to see me, I haven't seen you in a while Alex" said Ursula.

"Yeah I know grandma, but I have always been thinking of you everyday" said AJ taking Ursula's hands. AJ's grandmother looked at AJ and then she sighed and then she began to speak up"Alex please understand how much I love you.... I know that your drinking ....this drinking has to stop..you can't do this to yourself anymore" said AJ's grandmother Ursula.

"I'm sorry Grandma....something has just happenened to me..I can't control it...but grandma I can't worry about it right now...I'm worried about you...if something ever happened to you I'd probably lose control and do something rational" said AJ looking at his grandmother with some worry.

AJ's grandmother looked at him and said " I'll be fine sweetheart..I will be out of here before you know it and we will be talking together and doing all the things that you love most" said AJ's grandmother.

Tears fell from AJ's face, he was hurting so much inside...he wanted nothing to happen to his grandmother, he loved her soo much. AJ stayed with Urusla for three hours. When he left he kissed her goodbye.

Ursula smiled and went back to sleep. As AJ remebered his grandmother and when he recieved the news he dropped the coffee in his car and began cursing outloud to himself and speaking to his grandmother who was up above in Heaven. AJ began crying in the car.

For the next few weeks AJ stayed in Everwood to get some rest he needed time to himself to resolve from all the pain. Then he went off to rehab in Arizona for 3 months to correct all his problems. He was suffering from anxiety, alcohal,depression, and obession with sex. Fortunately AJ got these problems fixed for a while, but unfortunately got into a relationship with Teresa. The two of them had met up in Everwood, and almost got married. Seeing that so many bad things happened between them they called off the wedding and broke it off for good.

As AJ's flashback ended he began getting alittle upset, Courtney noticed AJ's expression "Baby what's wrong?" Courtney asked AJ showing him that was she was concerned about him. AJ reassured Courtney nothing was wrong.

"I do agree with Jen" said Crystal

"Why?" asked AJ.

"AJ look think about it for a minute if Court was in the same position as Howie would want to be with her even if she was acting like a bitch..I believe Jen wants to go no matter what Harold saids..she wants to be with Howie...even if the times get tough the only thing that will make her feel better, is that she will be right by his side" said Crystal. "

Crys is right AJ I understand where Jen is coming from...I think us females understand Jen very well and why she what said to you Kevin "said Courtney

"Courtney we all understand Jennifer too but we don't want that boy Justin to go after any of us or worse the kids..if we leave and go out to Everwood something really bad will happen....for once let Harold watch over Howie he can help him...we can't risk anymore pain" said Kevin.

Jennifer looked up at Kevin and got up from her seat and ran outside onto the beach. Crystal and Leighanne followed her while Kristin and Courtney stayed inside sighed to themselves.

"So I guess the decision is made" said Nick sadly

"Yeah..we have to do what we can to help out Howie and make this easier for him, as much as we wanna help him...it's the best thing for Howie" said Kevin as he picked up the phone and called up Harold back.

Kevin and Harold talked for a while. After Harold was done talking to to Kevin on the phone, he hung up and went upstairs to pack his things and headed out to Everwood.

Nick called up Jane to tell them they would be coming home tonight to pick up the kids from the house. AJ called up Denise and told her he and Courtney were coming to get Lil Alex The four of them apologized to Jennifer, saying they couldn't stay with her tonight. They had to watch the kids and get home. They promised to be back tomorrow to see how she was feeling.

Later on after Courtney and the others were gone and Jennifer was asleep Brian called up Howie's mother and father again to come over and stay with Jennifer till Howie came back to the house. Leighanne, Kristin, Kevin and Brian left the house when The Doroughs came in the house. Brian thanked them and then he and the other left Jennifer's house and went home.

As Howie's mom placed a cover over Jennifer she rubbed her head. She kissed her goodnight and joined Mr. Dorough upstairs.

During the evening as Crystal and Nick began heading home. Crystal got a bad feeling something was gonna happen. As Nick was driving the car, he noticed Crystal's expression "Hey Baby what's wrong..you act your seeing a ghost ?" asked Nick . "What could possibly happen...that would be so bad..even though I know nothing will...I'm here to protect you and the kids...noone will ever try to take you or the kids away from me ever again....hey I know what let's go to the mall and get some toys for the kids and then go home for the night" said Nick placing a hand on Crystal's face and smiling, trying to make Crystal relax.

Then all of a sudden as Nick was driving into the mall parking lot his car stopped. The car stopped infront of the mall door. The mall would closing in 4 hours, so that gave Nick and Crystal to hang out some together and get their toys for the kids at sametime. Later on an hour before the mall began closing Nick and Crystal were already heading out of the mall and towards his car. They walked out of the children's department and down into the foodcourt.

As Crystal and Nick walked through the foodcourt Crystal's feeling began growing, she felt as if the problem was going to occur here in this mall, someone or something was nearby and Crystal could feel. Before they left the foocourt some strange figure was watching them closely. The stranger looked mad and ready to strike at Crystal and Nick, but he kept his cool.

When the timing was right. The stranger began following them. Nick and Crystal then stopped at a perfume stand to observe some fragrances for their household. As they were observing, the stranger crept closer and closer towards Crystal, as he inched closer toward her his hand reached to strangle her. But Crystal moved closer towards Nick, which made it harder for the stranger to grab Crystal. So the stranger decided to speak out "Well...Well look who have here the bitch and her dumb blond" said the stranger laughing.

When Crystal and Nick heard the stranger's voice, they turned around and they saw the stranger Nick began curling up his hands into fists and Crystal began getting butterflies in the stomach, but did her best to show no fear.

"Who the fuck said you could tell who raped you Crystal Ann" said JC.

"Back off Joshua you out of your league shithead" said Nick getting infront of Crystal. ,p> JC laughed and said "Ya know Nick...I don't think you know how good it felt to rape your pathetic tramp...she was good and the expression on her face...shit that was money shot" said JC smiling down at Crystal.

Crystal began shivering and getting upset. Nick's face grew from pale peach to red blazing fire. JC could see the anger in his eyes and made him proud.

"Oooooh am I getting someplace with all of this...Nick it payed off to have your so called girlfriend..opps I mean whore to have her crying for her, bleeding like a motherfucker...and you couldn't do shit about it...it must've killed you to see her in so much pain,hell I loved it " said JC laughing histerically.

"Ya know what JC I'm sure your face needs rearragging..and personally you'd wish you were never born cuz frankly...it's a dissapointment to me to see your lonely ass" said Nick.

JC shook his head and began walking towards Crystal.

"Joshua don't you fucking touch Crystal you hear me?!" said yelled Nick. Before JC could touch Crystal, Nick shooved Joshua. Joshua shooved Nick back. Nick punched JC in the face and punched him in the stomach and on the eye. JC fell to the ground holding onto his stomach. Joshua knew if someone didnt help him soon Nick would make him feel like he was dead.

He just wanted to pay Nick back from taking his girlfriend away from him and not to metion he got her preganent with twins. That was suppose to be his job. Joshua looked at Crystal and he felt his life slip from him. He knew then and there that he will never have her again.

Nick looked at Joshua one last time and said, "Stay the fuck away from my family or you will get worse then what I just gave you." He picked up Crystal's bags and they walked hand and hand out of the mall. Crystal smiled because she knew that Nick meant business and she only hoped that Joshua would listen this one time.

" Oh I will be away Nick..just you wait and see..I' will strike when the timing is right and your not there to protect your so called girlfriend" said JC with a sneer. ,p>When Crystal and Nick got into the car, Crystal's smile turned into a worried look.

"Crys...what's wrong ?" asked Nick looking at her with concern.

Crystal looked up at Nick and said "Nick I'm worried, you don't know Joshua like I do...when he wants something there wil be nothing he can do to get it..he will never stop till he's gotten what he wants" said Crystal.

Nick looked out of the car window for a moment and said "Well in that case then I will be with you at all times no matters where you and the kids are I shall be there, I promised you everything Crys..and I am never ever going to break that promise" said Nick as he placed his arms around Crystal to show her he was going to protect her always and forever. Crystal smiled feeling safe and secure in Nick's arms. His embrace felt warm and loving. Nothing could tear these two apart, not even little old Joshua.

That same evening as AJ and Courtney were leaving and heading over toward Denise's house to pick up Lil Alex, AJ was quite thr entire ride. Courtney noticed that he bestowed a serious look in his face, she didn't dare ask about it. But it concerned her why he was feeling this way.

As AJ waited in the car for Courtney to pick up Lil Alex from his mom's Denise noticed as Courtney looked at Lil Alex she was looking alittle upset.

"Dear what's wrong ?" asked Denise placing a soft loving hand on Courtney's shoulder showing her concern.

"I'm not sure Denise...on the way here AJ had this expression on his face that was showing something was wrong...I wanted to ask him about it..but I didn't wanna invade his personal space..ya know" said Courtney.

Denise knew exactly what was going on, she had known Alex from the day he was born and that look wasn't anything she hadn't seen before and then Denise's face looked a little worried. "Denise what is it?...you know why AJ is making that face...and it doesn't look good does it ?" asked Courtney

"Yeah sweetie I do know what it is...but why don't you take Lil Alex home and I will call you and we shall talk about it in the morning...just don't ask AJ about it..I highly doubt he really wants to talk about it" said Denise. Courtney nodded and turned to Lil Alex who was sound asleep. She picked him up and walked towards the door. Courtney hugged and kissed Denise a good-bye and walked back to car where AJ was waiting for her. As AJ drove home Courtney didn't dare ask AJ what he was thinking about, she just looked out the window and watched the beautiful night sky and all the beautiful silver stars glisten in the night sky.

When the three of the got home AJ went straight upstairs to change clothes and get into the bed, while Courtney placed Lil Alex's to bed. When Courtney was finished she went to join AJ in the room. She went into the bathroom and placed her long silky black nightgown and climbed into the bed. When she saw AJ's face, like he was about to cry Courtney couldn't take it anymore. She was hurting inside seeing that AJ was hurting like this inside. She ignored what Denise had warned not to do. So she went ahead and asked AJ what was wrong.

"AJ...what's going on..you were realy quiet all the way home..and have not spoken to me since we left Jennifer and Howie's house?" asked Courtney. AJ turned over to her and shook his head saying nothing.

"Baby please tell me..it's upsetting me just as it is upsetting you" said Courtney.

"I don't wanna talk about it" said AJ "AJ it might make you feel better" said Courtney

"I SAID I DIDN'T WANNA TALK ABOUT SHIT!" yelled out AJ. AJ's yelling woke up Lil Alex, he then began crying out loud.

Courtney held her chest and was in shock for a minute, she then spoke up and said "Fine..dont ever tell me anything ever again" said Courtney with tears in her eyes. She got up from the bed and placed her robe on and went off into Lil Alex's room to stop him from crying.

"Damn..stupid me...why did I do that...I never keep anything from Courtney..I love her..now look what I have done" said AJ to himself.

In Lil Alex's room Courtney picked up Lil Alex and took his over to the rocking chair. She rocked the chair back and forth singing a lullaby to the baby. Tears began forming in her eyes. How could AJ be so mean to her, all she was try to love him and show him that she cared about him.

"Gosh why didn't I listen to Denise ?....I really wanna help him so I'll know how to be there for him..well I know I'm not gonna be talking to him for a while if he's gonna be as stern as he was to me just a minute ago" said Courtney. She then picked up the phone and called up Crystal.

Nick picked up the phone "Hello ?" he asked ""Nick it's me Courtney..can Lil Alex and I come over and stay for a few days..I need some time away from Alex" said Courtney sadly.

"Yeah..but why you and AJ have never been apart like this ? " asked Nick.

Courtney explained everything that happened that evening with her and AJ. Nick knew why he was soo sad right then. It was because AJ was remebering his grandmother. He missed her so much.

Nick knew that Courtney didn't know this and seriously he began to remember how much of a jerk AJ acted and how he became so distant. Then would get drunk and sleep with a lot of females. Courtney didn't know any of this. She was just scared and upset. Nick understood.

When they both hung up the phone Courtney began packing some of Lil Alex's things and things for herself. Before She left the house she wrote a letter to AJ and left it on the nightstand next to him where he would find it. The letter read :

Dear AJ,

I don't know what's happened to you tonight. For some strange reason you have turned into someone that I have never known..someone mean and yet so distant.

The man I fell inlove with was such a caring and loving man. He would never keep anything from me ..I mean ANYTHING. Baby I love you so much. But I can not risk you doing something you might regret later on. So me and Lil Alex have gone to stay with Crystal and Nick until you can tell me what's wrong. Know that I'am not breaking up with you, but I'am giving you some space that you can think about what your doing before the worse could take place. You know where to reach me when youre ready. I'm sure Denise will be calling me in the morning to tell me why you acted this way tonight. Please tell her to call Nick and Crystal's house or either my cell.

I love you baby,

Courtney xxoo

As Courtney left the note by AJ, a few tears fell from her face. She grabbed the bags and Lil Alex and went off to the car. She then drove off to Nick and Crystal's house. Crystal heard everything from Nick. So she greeted Courtney at the door. When Crystal saw her best friend, her face was really red from crying. Courtney had tried to cover it when she came in. Crystal knew better then that.

"Court we know...I'm sorry come on in and sit down" said Crystal as lead Courtney into the living room. Nick took Lil Alex and placed him upstairs with the others. He then came back downstairs and sat Crystal on the couch.

"You guys should've have seen his face when he was yelling..it was so wierd...it's like the AJ I know is gone and someone else is taking over him" said Courtney.

Nick and Crystal looked at each other and then looked at Courtney. Nick began to speak up. "Court listen there's something you should know.....Denise thought that right after you left her house you were gonna ask AJ about what was bothering him..because she knows how much you worry about him...and well she called me up and told me that if something like this happened to go on and tell you" said Nick.

"What's going on with AJ Nick I wanna know....I miss him already" said Courtney as began crying.

"See before you met AJ a while back AJ's loving grandmother had died and for some reason AJ had begun drinking,partying till wee hours of the morning..he was like a ranvinous vampire on the proul...girls everynight it was too much for him....he did go to rehab for about three months..and he's been doing well of being sober....but everytime his grandmother Ursula comes up he gets emotional and upset...he doesn't really like tallking about it much with anyone....it puts a great deal of pressure on him" said Nick.

"So why didn't AJ tell me any of this before ?" asked Courtney

"I'm sure the reason is because he didn't wanna worry you...he knows how much you love him and that worry constantly about him...give him a couple of days and he will be fine Courtney I promise you that...AJ just needs some time to thinks things over...but after this time I can assure you that he will move on with all of this..since he's met you..he hasn't ever had a dull moment" said Nick smiling.

Courtney thought about what Nick said for a moment and said "So do you think it's better for me to stay here a couple of days Nick ?" asked Courtney.

"Yeah I do..he will be fine I know that he will call you because he loves you" said Nick. Courtney turned over to look at Crystal who nodded her head as well to show Courtney that Nick was telling the truth.

"Well..right now I'm too hurt to ever understanding anything on him anymore..he was suppose to never keep anything from me ever in this relationship..absolutely nothing....it's liike right now ..what I'm feeling is that I can't trust him that much anymore...if he keeps this up how can I ever have faith in him anymore...it doesn't make any sense"said Courtney.

"Court me and Nick undrstand how much it hurts and everything...but AJ had certain reasons for not telling you about his past problems" said Crystal.

"Oh yeah nothing matters to me anymore" said Courtney as she went upstairs to her room to unpack some of her things. Nick and Crystal looked at each other and sighed.

Crystal was about to go after Courtney but Nick stopped her and said "Let her go baby...she needs to think about this" Crystal looked at Nick, she knew he was right but she wanted to be there for her best friend just like she was there for her.

Upstairs Courtney placed some of her things into the large wooden drawers. She began thinking of somethings in her mind, things about why AJ was so spiteful that night. She was only trying to help him because she loved him so much.

Back at the house AJ woke to find Courtney gone. When he looked towards the nightstand there was the letter right on the desk where Courtney had left it.

"OH Shit! damn" said AJ to himself "I let it go...Courtney...(sigh) I gotta find her and apologize to her" said AJ he knew Courtney had taken the baby so there was no use on calling his mom. Before AJ walked out of the door the phone rang.

When AJ picked up it up his face lit up alittle bit "Mom...hi..I was just thinking of you and about to walk out the door" said AJ

" I think I know why...you blew up at Courtney didn't ya sweetheart?" asked Denise.

"Yeah mom...but I didn't mean to" said AJ

"I know baby...I'm sure she was pretty shocked and hurt...because she doesn't know, but I can tell you something that could bring you some relief" said Denise.

"What's that mom?" asked AJ.

"Well I told Nick that something like this did happen to tell Courtney himself with Crystal if it was too much for her" said Denise. AJ place his hands on face and breathed deeply.

"Dear is everything alright?" Denise asked. AJ sighed again and said "Yeah mom, i just wish you hadn't told Court about my horrible..I wanted to tell her myself" said AJ.

"Alex I know...but in my honest opinon I think she might've been too scared" said Denise. "Too scared what do you mean ?" AJ asked.

"I mean sweetheart in all my years of loving you and you being my son...it has been to know that you have a serious temper....unfortunately like your father Alex you must not let it out ever like that...you better pray that she hasn't left you for good"

"Mom Courtney has not left me..I know it...she and I love each other so much nothing can rip us apart and frankly you know that...you love her too..you even told me she was the best thing for me...and I agree... she does so much for me and she soo much better then all those other girls I've been with" said AJ.

"Of Course honey..I was wrong" said Denise. "It's okay mom..I know how much you love me and that you want the best for me" said AJ.

"Yeah sweehtheart of course" said Denise "Mom do you know where I probably find her?" asked AJ "Yeah I have a feeling she could be at Nick and Crystal's place" said Denise.

"Thanks mom" said AJ. AJ then hung up the phone and grabbed a jacket and headed out the door and went off to Crystal and Nick's place.

Meanwhile at Nick and Crystal's Courtney was placing her son to bed. He was fast asleep. He looked like an angel...he was her and AJ's little angel. A small tear ran from Courtney's face. Courtney walked over to a chair and grabbed a book and began reading.

Downstairs Crystal looked at the window, she couldn't stop thinking about her best friend. Courtney was hurting badly inside.

Nick noticed his fiancee's expression. He got up from his seat and walked behind her. He placed his hands around her waist and kissed her on the cheek "They will work this out...they need time to themseleves" said Nick. Crystal nodded her head.

As Crystal continued to look out the window she saw AJ's car pull up the driveway."It's AJ" said Crystal. Nick walked towards the door and opened it.

"Hey dude what's up ?" asked Nick

"Nothing man..is she here ?" asked AJ as he stood in the doorway. Nick sighed and said "Yeah man she's upstairs in her room..but maybe you should take it into another room..because the kids are asleep" said Nick. AJ nodded his head and went upstairs.

When AJ opened the door he saw Courtney rubbing their son's head in the crib. AJ smiled and walked into the room. When Courtney saw him she rolled her eyes slightly. She lookd up at him and said " What do you want?" asked Courtney with a whisper.

"We gotta talk outside" said AJ with a whisper. Courtney sighed and followed AJ down the stairs and outside. "What Alex...." said Courtney with anger.

AJ looked at her and said "I came to apologize for earlier" said AJ.

Ya know AJ I don't know if I wanted you to come here...my heart is almost sunk to the bottem of my body because of you" said Courtney. AJ's eyes began shinning with concern and guilt.

"Baby....it already crossed my mind that you didn't know about my past" said AJ.

"Oh no AJ it wasn't just that..it was also the fact that you lied to me you never told me about your past...you had Nick and Crystal tell me all about it...Denise almost told me but she knew it would've come out sooner or later that you were gonna tell me...but my question is when were you gonna tell me about your past....I would've understood....never the less you kept it from me" said Courtney crossing her arms, a few tears running from her eyes.

"You scared me you know that....AJ I don't want our son growing in fear of his own father"said Courtney. "Is that why you took him ?"asked AJ. Courtney nodded her head in agreement. AJ rubbed his head and said " I don't want that either baby...I love Lil Alex...he reminds so much of myself" said AJ smiling.

"Yeah.." said Courtney" Baby...can you forgive me....I cannot live without you and Lil Alex in my life"said AJ getting alittle emotional. Courtney looked at AJ with a sad face.

"Yes I will....but AJ never keep anything from me again even if you think it's not worth telling...I wanna know...because I love you so much and I wanna be there for you everyday of you life....our life together" said Courtney.

AJ looked at Courtney with compassion and nodded his head, he placed his hand over her face and leaned down and kissed her, the two of them kissed for the longest time outside in the warm night air.

Nick and Crystal watched from the living room window. When they saw things were okay they smiled and headed upstairs towards their room. They checked on their children as well as Shiane and kissed all three of them and went to sleep.

AJ and Courtney made up that very night. Without waking up Crystal and Nick, Courtney packed her and Lil Alex's things and AJ took her home. Courtney and AJ rested up quite nicely that night.

Within the next couple of months or so. Kristin and Leighanne gave birth to their kids. Leighanne gave birth to beautiful baby boy. She named the baby Baylee Thomas Littrell. Kristin had a little girl. She named it Kathy Jane Richardson. Kevin and Brian loved their kids with all their hearts. It was a joyous occasion for all of the Backstreet Boys.

There were plenty of baby showers. Everyone had a blast. The Carter twins Kaylee and Kylier was already 2 years old and Shianne was seven years old. Nick and Crystal were proud of their kids. Lil Alex had turned one year old. AJ and Courtney loved spending time with their son. Lil Alex is what brought Courtney and AJ together and gave them some very happy moments in their lives together.

Everyone was having a wonderful time. There was only one problem, it was Howie. He hadn't called or anything since he left for Everwood. Jennifer was loosing control of everything. It was getting too risky for any of her friends to be helping her. It got so bad that only Howie's parents and her parents had to come and watch over her till Howie came back home. As Howie was in Everwood his mind was drifting.

Everyday he thought of that little boy that he had killed. All of his friends left him countless messages, saying it was only an accident. Howie didn't believe that,frankly he didn't believe in anything anymore. Howie was going into denial. Nothing mattered to him anymore.

Harold was his only chance to revive Howie and bring him back to Florida and help him work out all the problems he and Jennifer had gone through together. It was something that Howie wasn't even thinking about. Right at this point Howie wasn't even thinking of Jennifer. To Howie, Jennifer was only a memory for the time being. During the afternoon one day in Everwood Howie recieved a message from Harold saying that he was coming to visit Howie.

Howie sighed and knew that the most saddest time in his life would be coming up and he would have to reveal and confess his feelings for what he did to that little boy.

"Will there anything that I can help you with sir?" asked a local waitress.

"No thank you" said Howie. Howie had drank a lot of coffee that day. He began pondering what to say to Harold when he arrived. Howie was confused and angry. As he left the money for coffee Howie looked out the window and saw a little boy walking past the cafe. Howie felt even worse. So he quickly walked out of the cafe and back to the hotel.

That night when Howie was making himself some flautas for his dinner. There was a knock at the door. Howie dropped the food and placed it into the oven and went to the door. When he opened it there Harold standing there infront of him, he carried a concerned look on his face. Howie began getting kinda emotional he looked up at Harold and said "If the guys sent you to help me..you can't so you might as well go back to Florida tell the guys that" said Howie.

"Howie...you can't do this man...it's scary as well risky...can I come in ?" said Harold. Howie opened the door wider and let Harold in. Harold dropped his things onto the floor and asked Howie to sit down on a chair.

"Sit down D...remember last year, a while back how you told me there was girl that was in trouble and you wanted to keep a secret between us?" asked Harold.

"Yeah" "Well I know a man that is in trouble,I want to this conversation to kept between the two of us..no one will know what we talked about..." "You can trust me Harold""Ok...then let's make this hypathetical suppose you knew a man who was driving one day with his girlfriend another friend and his wife..and then they were gonna do something maybe go to the park or whatever...and this man was driving a car and out of nowhere this little boy comes out on a bike..and then the boy is dead......and the driver had been beating himself up a lot now days for it because of his guilt and sorrow....he physically hurt his girfriend and becomes this complete jerk who does things that he normally wouldn't do, but does because of what he did to that little boy" said Harold. Howie began shaking and getting upset as Harold said these words. " Harold then continued "Let's also say that this little boy should've been wearing a helmet, but he never did.....but the parents of that little boy that bike felt as if they bigger problems with this kid, so they didn't press him on it" said Harold. " If he hadn't gotten hit by the good man who was driving the car the helemt wouldn't be the issue here....and neither would the fact that kid was prolly doing some drugs or whatever" said Howie.

Harold nodded head and said " Yeah, now where do you suppose that little boy got the drug from ?" asked Harold. Howie thought for a second and said "I don't know Harold" "From his older brother,Howie his older brother is blaming you for this because it's just too painful for him to blame himself" said Harold. "Isn't it enough that he has to cope with his brother's death.....isn't that enough to deal with?" asked Howie looking at Harold.

"Ya know Howie if keeps avoiding the truth by doing drugs,smoking pot things are going to get worse...his parents could lose another son" said Harold. Howie sighed and said "I know Harold..but I have to live with this guilt that I killed someone for the rest of my life...my life is different now...I'm sorry Harold..but after this I don't know who I'am anymore..where I belong any of that...it's killing I have to live with..no one can understand any of it..not even you " said Howie with sorrow.

"I can understand Howie but you must not think that what that you did was your fault....you weren't driving fast, and you were looking where you going...the boy wasn't doing any of that...he was under the influence of drugs..you cannot keep blaming yourself for something you never meant to do for to happen" said Harold.

"I can't help it Harold,these feelings are wrapped up inside of me and they can't go away till...."Howie couldn't finish his sentence, he began crying. Harold placed a hand on his back and then he hugged him.

"Howie I'm here for you....it's my job, but not just that your my friend and I'll be here till everything goes away" said Harold. "Thanks Man"said Howie.

Within the next couple of weeks Harold spent time with Howie and helped him get the courage to face the little boy's family. Even thought it was pretty hurtful and scary for both Howie and the little boy's family to speak to each other, they both got through it. Howie showed his deepest sympathy for the family. The boy's older brother never saw Howie again, his parents kept him away from Howie and his friends till he was over with the anger and sadness of losing his brother. Howie then returned to Florida and when he got there his friends were there as well as his family.

When he saw their expressions on their faces, he began to sense something was wrong, no only that but Jennifer was missing. "Mom where is Jennifer, where is she?" asked Howie. Howie's mother looked at Howie with tears in her eyes and said "Oh Mijo, something happened, while you were away...she broken down sweetie and had a mental breakdown"

"Mamma no she can't be....where is she?" asked Howie.

"She's in the hospital Mijo....she was in so much pain after you left for Everwood....she broke down and lost control baby...she fell down the stairs, your father found on her the floor in your room, she was taken to the hospital" said Howie's mom. Howie dropped down the floor and fell into a chair. "When did this happen mama?" asked Howie.

Mrs. Dorough took her son's hand and said " Last week darling...your brother called you ands told the news"

"But I never got it mama" said Howie. Then it hit Howie he remembered that he had erased all of his messages on his phone he had been blocking everyone he knew out of his life...not taking any calls or anything.

"Oh my gosh...mama I erased all of the calls that's why I never knew...oh mama...papa Lo siento(I'm sorry)" Howie's parents looked at each other and said "Mijo we understand...why and what happened over there..you were upset baby and we all know that..but you need to go see Jennifer...she's in terrible condition, and the doctors aren't sure of her whereabouts" said Howie's father.

Mama..papa can you stay here and watch the house..I need to go see Jennifer and be there for her" said Howie

"Of Course darling" said Howie's mom. Howie hugged his family and friends. He then asked the gang as well as Harold to come with him to the hosptial to try to help Jennifer. A half and hour later when they all arrived at the hospital Howie ran up to the front desk. When the nurse saw him she looked up and said "May I help you sir?" she asked "Yeah a woman was here last week and I assume she still is..here name is Jennifer Honer" said Howie.

The nurse sighed with a sorrow and said "Ah yes her...let me take you too her sir...what relationship are you to Ms. Horner ?" she asked "I'm her boyfriend" said Howie.

"Yeah of course follow me sir" the nurse said. The nurse lead Howie to Jennifer's room. Howie asked the others to stay outside, but he asked Harold to come in with him. Harold agreed. Harold called the guys to come into the room. AJ and Kevin grabbed Howie and told him to back away.

"No! I'm not gonna leave her I'm staying here..No! Stop! AJ!!!...Kevin!!! You can't!" said Howie as AJ,Kevin,and Harold pulled Howie away from Jennifer.

When the girls saw Howie they cried, they couldn't stand seeing Howie so sad. Howie ran outside while the guys ran after him. After Howie got outside the he fell to the ground and cried out loud, screaming and yelling,and cursing out loud to the world and to God. ,p> "Fuck!!! don't take away Jennifer please!!!!" said Howie. Harold grabbed Howie tightly and hugged him while the others held him down so Howie wouldn't run off again. Howie continued crying out he loosed up from the tight grip.

"Howie you can't do this to yourself damit!" yelled out Brian.

"Oh yeah you think I can't grieve on my girlfriend's saying..because you know what Brian I did this to her!!!!" said Howie.

"We know Howie...but the only reason this happened is because Jennifer felt she wasn't doing her part..of being there for you when you were being so distant with her!!!!" said Kevin

"You can't say shit!!! Kevin,None of you can!!!!!" said Howie. He then began to calm down some "You all don't understand...Jennifer is in the hospital because of me....of what I did to her....she has had a mental breakdown because of me..how can I live with myself with the killing and now this...it's all too much for me...................................." said Howie.

The guys looked at Howie finally Harold spoke up "That's doesn't give you the right to always blame yourself on everything that you do wrong or make an huge mistake in......Howie these things happen for a reason..it may be impossible to understand now but I gurantee you later on in the future you will understand why it happened...Crystal and Nick..they understand why Crystal was rapped...it showed that Joshua was bad person and could never be trusted ever again...the same goes for you...all the problems we face in life...is for the better..and it helps us become more and more wiser each day......we can never hold this back ever in life...God just can never breath or take it away, not even for one second...you must understand...it's the way life is suppose to be" said Harold.

Howie's eyes drew up from the tears. "I cannot do this alone Harold..it's too much for me handel" he said. AJ placed a hand on Howie's back and said "We are here for you D...always...what are friends for...we are never gonna leave you by yourself to deal with this kind of pain...you have been there for us through so much..now it's our turn show you how much we all care for you" said AJ

"Thanks AJ" said Howie as he hugged AJ. He gave the others hugs as well. When they all got back into the hospital Leighanne walked up to the guys and said "Howie there's something that the doctor forgot to meantion" Howie saw the doctor standing by the door with a sad expression on his face. "Mr. Dorough I know you must be going through some stuff to be so sad,but.....I don't mean to make matters a whole lot worse..but I'm afraid that this has to be said" said the doctor

"What doc..,just tell me please I loose my mind" said Howie waiting for what the doctor had to say. The doctor took a deep breath and finally spoke the words that make Howie got insane. "During the days that you were gone and you girlfriend was taken to the hospital, we found something very misforunate........she was pregnant" said the doctor.

Howie couldn't believe it, Jennifer had been pregnant and not once had she meantioned to Howie. "What?!.....is the baby alive " asked Howie having a feeling that the baby was dead.

"I'm sorry but when she fell your girlfriend had some incredible pains and that's what made her have a mental breakdown...not only that but you absense as well...we gave her a C-section and took the baby..because it was already a miscarriage..your friends and family know"said the doctor sadly.

"Do you know why they didn't tell me this?" asked Howie "I believe it was your mother that meantioned to me that you might go completely insane and then something would happen to you too, she did want to tell you Mr. Dorough,but she and your father believed you were under too much stress and didn't want you facing anymore" said the doctor "Now I'm going to check on your girlfriend again I'am sorry" said the doctor he opened up the curtains to Jennifer's room and did some more tests on her to make sure she was progressing.

When the doctor was gone Howie didn't cry, not even one tear fell form his eyes. He couldn't cry anymore, not this time. His face grew red in the face. He walked towards the waiting room where his friends were waiting for him. When they all saw his face, they knew he found about the distressing news about Jennifer's miscarriage. Howie couldn't even speak he walked over to somethings near the door, he looked at them for a moment or so. Without looking or carrying he swiped his hands across the rack of papers and the coffee table. The guys grabbed him and tried to stop from doing more damage, but he pushed them all away. "Howie STOP!!!!"yelled out Kevin.

"You leave me the hell alone Kevin!!!! I'm sick of all this shit!"hollered out Howie. Harold grabbed Howie's hand and said "You need to get better control of yourself Howie,it will never help Jennifer get better, well feel your pain and everything but if you continue to be like this...your life will continue to carry with hatrid and none will want to be around you in your life..... and worse then that you could end loosing Jennifer forever...we all in here know you would never want to loose Jen to anything in the world, we all know how much Jen means to you, but you gotta get it together or else Jennifer won't be the only thing you'll lose in this lifetime" said Harold. Howie began breathing hard. He knew Harold was right. He didn't want lose Jennifer. Howie loved Jennifer more than anything and he wasn't about to lose her under the horrible condition that she was under.