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We like Wesley, he is what made Star Trek: TNG watchable. His solo heroics saved the day on so many occasions, and he momentarily brought sunshine into our lives. Wesley Crusher, son of Beverly, we love you.
It is from the corners of out hearts that we bring to you lovingly the Wesley Crusher estrogen brigade. Wesley was not a popular character... some people referred to him as the least popular character. They, my friends, are wrong. Wesley is a big hunk in a jumpsuit, and he can share my sleeping quarters any time. I mean, look at him. Eyes deep and green like a swap infested ocean. Oh wonderous jumpsuit of grey and blue. Hair swept across the forhead like the Orient Express heading for lands fresh and new. Oh, I wish wonderous Wesley felt the same way about me. Here are some Haikus I have written for my darling Crusher boy... if you have any Haikus you wish to submit then send them to and I will print them if they reflect your love of Wesley Crusher.

Oh wondrous Wesley
I wanna share your jumpsuit
And have your babies

Wesley the sex god
the coolest guy on Star Trek
Why won't you be mine?

Reading Wesley slash
Does arouse the mind greatly
Why can't I be Jake?

Shoot me with warp speed
I want to marry Wesley
The kids would be cute

O Wesley Crusher
When I see your grey jumpsuit
My warp core overloads

Fuck me senseless, Wes
Beam me with your Star Trek sperm
Kling on to me, boy

Oh Goddess of Wes
Beverly, mother of him
We are so grateful

Pert arse through jump-suit
Commander badge of red gold
Long nimble man legs

Wesley is the star
He should have his own series
Berman: listening?

Wesley, Wesley, he's our man.
If he can't do it, no-one can!

Wesley Crusher
No-one is lusher
Suited in red
Hair on his head
On board a ship
Shaking his hips
Go Wesley go!
The cutest Star Trek guy I know.

Wesley is a wicked Crusher
No-one on the ship is lusher
My heart goes zoot
When you're in your jumpsuit
Ensign on the dotted line
I'd sign my life away
To see your pert ass every day
My friend Het said you were gay
She lied
But if you were I would've died

He was a dirty little fucker
I said "Wesley! Bend over!"
That cute ass will pucker

Anagrams of Ensign Wesley Crusher

Scenes sewer hungrily
Slush screwy engineer
Lechery swings ensure
He's curly, serene swing
Less screwy, huge inner
Genius's wrens lechery
Cry! He's newer ugliness
Cushy, serene news girl
Cheers! Newer ugly sins
Lech genius's wry sneer
Sissy when cruel green
Hey! Leg run screwiness
Shy winners rescue leg

Sound files of Wesley

"It worked! We did it!"
"If you don't mind, sir... I'd like to sit here for a while."
"Maybe I am sick of rules and regulations! Did you ever think of that?"
"Where women are concerned, I am in complete control."
"It would be hard to get bored on this ship."
"I'm with Starfleet... we don't lie."
"I've come to think you're handsome for a Klingon. That didn't quite come out the way I meant, sir."

Willow and Wesley I'm a big fan of Buffy, and I think that Willow is so cute! She's a witch, and a genius, and a lesbian, so in a way, she's a lot like our dear Crusher boy. With my free trial copy of Photoshop, I made this jpg! It isn't very good, but don't Wesley and Willow make a cute couple! I think so. Click here to see if you agree!

Also, my friend Wesley's Hairline does a lot of Internet Surfing, and we found this really cute picture of Wesley in his jumsuit! Click here to check it out. Quite the man, isn't he?

There you have it. My ode to Wesley Crusher, aka the sexiest guy in the world. Hubba hubba, someone call 999 and ask for the fire brigade to hose me down, cause baby I'm on fire! If you like Wesley, too, (damn good taste) send me your poems, photos, odes, fan art or any other artwork pertaining to the wonderous Wesley Crusher. I thank you.

Wesley's Gurl (member #1)
Wesley's Jumpsuit (member #2)
I am Wesleys Abused Organ (member #3)
Wesley's Pool of Vomit (member #4)
Wesley's Hairline (member #5)
Wesley's Wank Stain (member #6)
Wesley's Woman (member #7)

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"I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way"
"The Greatest Love of All"

Last Updated 30/08/01