Lewinsky Virus:

Sucks all the memory out of your computer,

then e-mails everyone about what it did.

Kenneth Starr Virus:

Competely examines every aspect of your computer,

then compiles a complex report that discredits every

aspect of your computer.

Ronald Reagan Virus:

Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson Virus:

Quits after two bytes.

Spits everything out.

Oprah Winfrey Virus:

Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB,

then slowly expands to 200 MB.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus:

Deletes all old files.

Ellen Degeneres Virus:

Disks can no longer be inserted.

Titanic Virus:

Your whole computer goes down.

Disney Virus:

Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

Prozac Virus:

Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

Joey Buttafuoco Virus:

Only attacks minor files.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:

Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack.

Lorena Bobbit Virus:

Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy,

then discards it through Windows.

Viagra Virus:

Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

Clinton Virus:

Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory.