On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a $50
bill and a $2 coin. That was all of the cash I had on me. I figure that with a $2 coin, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting pissed at me because they have to wait for the manager to come out and open the safe to get change.
Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
At this point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 coin. He looks at it kind of funny.
Employee: "Um, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."
He goes to talk to his manager, who happens to be within earshot.
Employee: "Hey, have you ever seen a $2 coin?"
The employee comes back out to where I'm standing.
Employee: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to shoplift.
Employee: "He says I have to take it."
The employee disappears in the back somewhere and the manager approaches me.
Manager: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night."[it was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with a lot of other stores.]
At this point he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. Two people are staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45- year oldish guy comes in and talks to the manager at the other end of counter, in a whisper.
Security Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
The security guard walks over to me.
Security Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake coins you're trying to use."
Me: "No, I don't have any 'fake' coins."
At this point I was ready to say, "Sure, please do", but I wanted to eat, so I bit my tongue.
Me: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 coin."
I put the coin up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the coin and turns it over a few times in his hands.
Security Guard: "Mike, what's wrong with this coin?"
The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue. My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 coins just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I
got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food.
Employee: "Is that it?"
Me: "Yep."
Employee: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
Me: "No, it's to go."
Manager: "No. A what?"
Employee: "A $2 coin. This guy just gave it to me."
Manager: "Ask for something else, there's no such thing as a $2 coin."
Employee: "Yeah, thought so."
Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 coins? Why?"
Employee: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
Employee: "Yeah."
Me: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
Employee: "Well, hang on a sec."
Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
Employee: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."
Employee: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
Employee: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
Manager: "Just tell him."
Employee: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."
Me: "Well, here's a two."
Manager: "We don't take those either."
Me: "Why the hell not?"
Manager: "I think you know why."
Me: "No really, tell me, why?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "What the hell for?"
Manager: "Please, sir."
Me: "Go ahead, call them."
Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
Me: "No."
Manager: "Fine, have it your way then."
Me: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
Manager: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
Security Guard: "Really? What?"
Manager: "Get this: a two dollar coin."
Security Guard: "Why would a guy fake a $2 coin?"
Manager: "I don't know why. He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
Security Guard: "So, the fifty's fake?"
Manager: "No, the $2 coin is."
Security Guard: "Why would he fake a $2 coin?"
Manager: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
Security Guard: "Yeah..."
Security Guard: "Lemme see 'em."
Me: "Why?"
Security Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"
Manager: "It's fake."
Security Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
Manager: "But it's a two dollar coin!"
Security Guard: "Yeah?"
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
