He looked up and then resumed addressing the ball again. The voice
again- "Will the Man on the Red
tees move back to the White Tees"!!
He looked back at the starters shack and said, "Will the man on the
p.a. shut up so that
the man on the ladies tee can hit his second
shot!"
A man walks into a bar with a small box under his arm
sits down and orders a drink.
The bartender cannot help but hear music coming from the box.
He asked the man "what's in the box"?
The man says a small male pianist with a piano.
The bartender asked to see.
The man opens the box and there is a little man playing a little piano.
"WOW" say's the bartender how did you get that?
The man say's he was walking on the beach one day and found a magic lamp
and made a wish and there it was.
WOW, do you still have the lamp? asked the bartender.
Sure do, you want to try it asked the man.
HECK YEAH!
So, the man gave the bartender the lamp and the bartender rubbed it and wished
for a million bucks.
BANG!! a big cloud of smoke and the was a million ducks,
Ducks everywhere. Gee, said the bartender I wished for bucks not ducks I think
the lamp must have trouble hearing.
No Kidding, said the man, do you think I wished for a 12 inch pianist!!!
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball.
Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a
select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.
"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope,
that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."
"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered.
"We've got all the umpires."
There was an old professor who started every class with a
vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women
in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.
The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he
walked in and said, "Good morning, class. Did you hear the
one about the shortage of whores in India?"
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
"Wait, ladies," cried the professor. "The boat doesn't leave
until tomorrow!"
