This part of the site is as much to entertain you as it is to help me remember some of these guys.
Channel 23 - 27.255
23 was the channel. If all the channels were quiet at 3 or 4 in the morning, you could always say something on 23 and someone would get out of bed and answer you, or turn down their TV and answer you, or put down their crack pipe, beer and/or doobie and answer you.Some of these are the biggest scumbags I have ever run up against in my life and some were pretty good guys. Many of these guys have not been on a radio in a long time.
Longhair Longhair is the finest piece of CB trash I have ever had the pleasure to meet. He was the type of guy that runs at least 800 watts to talk a block away. On top of that add some echo, 16 tone roger beep and whatever else.He was also the kind that always had something for sale. Need a 50,000 watt commercial amplifier modified for CB? Longhair has it. Need a mail order bride? Longhair has them. Need a Buick for 20 dollars? Longhair has it. As long as I knew him he never had a job. All he did was sell CB stuff and anything else he got his hands on. He would wake up at 7:00 or 8:00PM and talk on the radio until about 4 in the morning and start all over again.
Longhair's inventory was not always aquired legally. Consequently, the State of Ohio put an arrest warrant out on him and he moved to West Virginia. He has been on the radio every once in a while ever since but always goes by an alias and thinks no one knows it's him. His arch enemy was Moegap.
Another funny thing about Longhair was that he lived next to a church. So if he decided to stay up all Saturday night and talk into the morning hours of Sunday, the congregation would hear the voice of God (aka Longhair) coming through the PA speakers.
Longhair's catch phrases:
"Rogee"
"I'll give ya 9 dollars for it." "Anybody need a ______(fill in the blank)"
Moegap First, Moegap is a drunk. When I say drunk, I mean drunk. There was no way possible this guy could hold a job, so he collected disability.Second, he was a Puerto Rican (who looked black to me).
Third, he was a proclaimed and proud bisexual. This is no joke.
So, what we have here is a drunk, Puerto Rican, bisexaul. I couldn't make this stuff up.
His hobby was fighting with people on channel 23.
He and Longhair lived right down the street from each other, but for some reason liked fighting on the CB better than in person. A few times he sent "A skinny guy and his little fat buddy" down with baseball bats to stand outside of Longhair's house. Another time he pulled a shotgun on Longhair. Later on the radio he said, "I didn't mean nothin' by it, whatyathink I'm gonna shoot ya?"
Catch phrases:
Meet me at the steps, bitch!
I like it like that, I like it like that
Loudmouth I actually grew up with this sweetheart. He was 5 years older than everybody at least but still played pick up baseball, football and street hockey. On top of that, he was always the last picked.
Loudmouth was one of Longhair's goons. There was a time that if you got a new radio, you better not say it on 23 or it would be gone the next morning. Loudmouth would take orders from Longhair and go snooping around people's cars and houses. After everybody caught on and Loudmouth received a beating or two, this stopped.
Ishkibob Ishkibob is a pretty good natured guy and not all that hard to talk to. He is actually pretty funny. He is an ugly fat guy that is proud to proclaim he never worked a day in his life.
This guy went to college and by no means was stupid but he just did not have a job. He was known for staying up maybe 3 days straight, talking on the radio a good part of the time, and then sleeping for maybe two days after that. This was/ is his life.
He's one of the first guys I ever knew who got his CB equipment taken off him. So the story goes, he lives next door to an old lady who always called the cops on him. He had 5 cats and let them run loose and she would call the cops on them and he'd get a ticket.
On top of that, the old lady got sick of him interfering with her telephone and television. She called the police and the Police Chief and two officers came over to tell him to turn down his power. Ishkibob did not like this and told them to "Go to hell." All he was running was an old GE radio and a little 50 watt modulator.
They figured out a way to take his equipment and he was not allowed on a radio for long time after that.
He always used to talk to Panda Man and Captain Jim.
His catch phrases included:
"Fifty miiiiiiiiiilllllion watts of talking power!"
"Behave my children, I am here, I am here."
"Hooooowwwww booout it Panda?!!"
Panda Man Panda Man is probably one of the most responsible of the group. He has a wife, 3 kids, and actually has job.He is affectionately known as "Fibbin' Freddy." This is because if you have one Galaxy 99, then Panda has seven. If you have 500 watts, Panda has 1000.
He also used to say he was a ham radio operator, but anybody could trip him up on that when they asked him his callsign. He usually said something like "367 in the Muddy Banks of West Virginia."
Poor Freddy doesn't think his lies out too well.
Captain Jim (now Captain Jamie) This one starts off pretty normal but ends up like a bad Jerry Springer episode. It is going to be hard to believe, but I swear on my mothers name and whatever else is sacred and holy that this is all true.
Captain Jim was the normal guys "tech." He was pretty good at fixing anything electronic, but his specialties were computers and RCI radios for some reason. He really did do a good job. He hardly ever charged a guy for some kind of mod and if he did it was not as much as the local CB shops would.
He also was pretty easy to talk to and one of the more intelligent guys on the band. I never had a problem with him. You could talk to him about anything radio related and he knew more than the average guy did.
But here is the twist. Captain Jim always sort of had a high youthful voice, sort of like he was 13, but he was really in his thirties. What's wrong with that, you say? Well for a while it seemed like Captain Jim's voice kept getting higher, and higher and higher.
Pretty soon some of his closer friends on the radio received a letter, informing them that he was about to undergo a sex change operation and had been taking medication for several months. In the letter he asked them to treat him the same and to remain his friend.
Now if that is not wierd enough, Captain Jim was married. Captain Jim had kids. Captain Jim's wife looked like a butch dyke. And Captain Jim's wife was getting a sex change!
Again, you are shaking your head, I know. But I swear that this is all true. How could anybody make this up?
I did not here him on the radio for a long time, then one day I heard a strange voice on the radio and someone calling him "Captain Jamie."
Captain Jim was now Captain Jamie. Captain Jamie was driving in his/her Trans Am, bragging about the truckers who were looking at his/her legs.
Let that be a lesson to you truckers out there!
521 AKA The Liquidator 521 AKA the Liquidator tried to be a Longhair clone but wasn't a thief and never could quite meet the mystic cult of personality that Longhair had.
First he started out as The Liquidator. Then he changed to 521. Then he changed back to the Liquidator, then back to 521.
521 is a ham. He made sure he told everybody this. Before I knew anything, I thought he was some kind of extra class amateur. This will offend some, but old 521 is a no code tech. You would not know it the way he talked though.
After Longhair got off the radio, 521 had the strongest signal in the area. This is pretty easy when you are running 1000-1500 watts on top of a hill. Nevertheless, 521 could pretty much talk anywhere he wanted, when he wanted with his 1 kw and his Antron 99.
It's pretty much a rule of thumb, the more power the guy runs, the bigger asshole he is. This was no different with 521.
He would tune up on channel 19 and as soon as anyone would complain, boom! That started it. "Who in the fuck you think you are, channel 19 is my channel around here!" "You dirty ass truckdrivers better find another channel, old 521 is takin' over!
It's hard to understand why Ishkibob got busted with his 50 watt modulator but 521 did not. Besides the power difference, the only thing I can think of is 521 lived out in the middle of no where and poor old Ishkibob lived in the city. I cannot count how many truckers and locals threatened to write/call the FCC on 521 but no one ever came. That seems to tell me that there will only be enforcement if there is an interference issue related to a TV, radio, and phone.
The Agitator Every area has a guy called "Agitator" I think. This guy is a reeal old timer. I was not around for his best antics but I witnessed a few.The Agitator was probably around 70 years old and served in either the Korean War or the beginning of Vietnam, I am not sure which.
He is another guy that got busted by local police, more than once. The first time was when we had a really bad snow storm here and a state policeman was trying to assist a motorist on the CB. The Agitator was interfering with the communication whether he knew it or not, and the state policeman went out of his way to find out who he was.
The Agitator had all of his equipment seized, which included a collection of D104's and a RCI 2995, among other things. I am not sure if he ever got these back.
He couldn't stay away from the radio and got back on, and now he was nicer than ever to people. This lasted about a month, then he got into it with the locals on channel 27. They wrote letters to the FCC, local, and state police until they came and took him off the radio. I have heard him on everyonce and a while since then but not very much at all.
Whisper AKA Stump Jumper AKA Stump Humper AKA Stumpy coming soon
Thunder Eagle coming soon
Shadow (#1) coming soon
Leadfoot coming soon
Speedbuggy coming soon
Snowball coming soon
Doc coming soon
Woodman coming soon
Electric Shock coming soon
Oldman On the Mountain coming soon
Blue Eyes Coming soon
Baby Sitter coming soon
Fortune Cookie coming soon
French Vanilla coming soon
Channel 27
Crow (SK)
Goldie
Ajax
Devil
Wolfman
Channel 33
Cowboy
Sky Pilot (SK)
Park Ranger
Iceman
coming soon
Channel 8 and Channel 27.5050
coming soon
Channel 3
Little Indian coming soon
27.365 LSB
coming soon
