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Part Four
To: Dawn Summers Wolfram and Hart Los Angeles, CA Summers, Since I have to continue writing these ridiculous letters, I’ve decided to educate your non-muggle ass about quidditch. The game is fast-paced and requires a good deal of strategy and athleticism. Of course, it all hinges on who can catch the snitch the fastest. During our match against Ravenclaw yesterday, that was me. There isn’t another seeker in our school who can match me. Unfortunately, it makes my pug-faced housemate, Pansy, drool over me more. I know my parents are hoping I marry her. After all, she comes from a long line of pureblooded wizards. But she is quite possibly one of the most grotesque people I have ever met, and that’s saying something. You’ve never met that mudblood Granger or another of my housemates, Millicent. She’s so ugly she could scare the hair off of a manticore. Speaking of grotesque, I am utterly appalled that the old man rehired that werewolf Lupin for the Defense Against The Dark Arts position. He’s not even human anymore. Why would you hire an abomination like that? I honestly don’t know how he got the Board of Governors to approve it. To end the letter on a high note, I had the privilege of taking house points away from Potter last night since he was out past curfew. Ah, the joys of being Head Boy. Draco Summers, Surely you’re not bored from insulting me yet? Cause if you were that would just help in reinforcing my belief that all muggles are imbeciles. Where are you? Draco Summers, Hello! Anybody there? I know, you’re not muggle, whatever. Draco Summers, Are you ignoring me now? Draco Summers, Where in the bloody hell are you?! Draco To: Draco Malfoy Slytherin Dungeons Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Malfoy, I’m touched. Was that actual concern you were feeling? You must have been awfully worried to send four extra letters. Let me check and make sure the world is still here, that we didn’t miss an apocalypse. Nope, still there, hell must have frozen over then. But no, I’m not bored and I wasn’t ignoring you. We had a near apocalypse so I was eyeballs deep in research and fact finding missions. Then, of course, came the battle. It wasn’t as big as the one with the First, but it was intense. Then I spent several days in the hospital cause I zigged when I should have zagged, so I have a new scar on my stomach. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to wear a bikini again. Enough about my life, on to your letter. What do you mean your professor isn’t human? Just because he had something alter his life that he had no control over doesn’t make him less than human. He has feelings, and a life. Who cares if he changes three nights out of the month? Willow dated a werewolf for a couple of years and it wasn’t a problem. God, you are such a racist! The fact you don’t respect him just disgusts me. Aargh, I need to change the subject. I personally think you deserve Pansy. After all, I’m sure she’s impressed by your own pureblood status. How could you go wrong? And Malfoy, you big dork. I told you I know about quidditch, Wesley took me to a professional game one time. I’m really not impressed. And from what I hear, you’ve never beat Harry to the snitch. Must not be as good as you think you are. Dawn P.S. Oh, scary, you took points from Harry. What a world-altering action you took. I’m shaking. (Note my sarcasm.) Previous Part Across the Pond Menu Next Part |
