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“And what of Lady Buffy?” “Oh laddie…” Gimli groaned painfully. “I cannot say it. T’will certainly break your heart.” “Gimli…” Legolas warned his friend softly. Gimli grimaced and rushed, “She confessed that she had two lovers and could not choose between them.” Legolas’ eyes rolled skyward as sadness knotted his throat. She had not one, but two lovers! No doubt, they were worthy men, strong and true. How could he compete with both of them? “And their names?” Gimli stretched up, dropping a hand on Legolas’ shoulder. “Why torture yourself, young prince-ling?” Legolas twisted away and began to pace. “Give me their names, Gimli!” Gimli shook his head sadly. “Lady Buffy proclaimed in front of all of her friends that she loved Fettuccine Alfredo and Cappelini Pomodoro.” Legolas stopped suddenly and met the dwarf’s eyes. Aghast, Gimli watched for a few seconds as wretched jealousy raged through his elven companion. Then as if hoping to soothe Legolas, Gimli raised his hands and went on cautiously. “I ventured to ask if they were equally good to her, hoping to find an imperfection in at least one. She indicated that they were both without a doubt ‘perfectly scrumptious’.” Gulping, Gimli continued, “’Delicious even’, and that she missed dining with them at her home.” Legolas slumped back against the wall once again. It was worse, so very much worse that he had thought. She was not, and may never be receptive to his wooing, no matter how slowly or gently he applied it... |
