Paul: Welcome ladies and gentleman to Monday Madness. We have a hell of a show for you here today. I am told that in just a few minutes my fellow commentator will be joining me here at the table. Not even I know who it is but I assure you I think we’ll all be in for a surprise. But first onto the lineup here tonight. We have a hardcore match between Buckweet Roberts and Dragon. Also here tonight we will see Karsh Vengeance go up against Miami Missile in a Taipei Death match. Now anyone who has seen one of these before knows that this one will be a bloody one. Our main even t tonight will be a 3 Way Dance consisting of Mitch Xteme, King Cobra, and Brandon Fox. We’ve seen both Mitch Xtreme and King Cobra in action before but we have yet to see Brandon Fox. No one can tell what will become of that match. Now, I’m also told that….

(The lights in the arena go out and both black lights and strobe lights turn on. The music starts to play. As soon as the music gets fast he appears. “Freight Train” Shawn Foley stands in the entryway. The fans rise back to their feet in excitement. The EWA Legend has returned. He makes his way down towards the commentator’s table. He takes his seat and the music slowly stops and the lights return.)

Paul: I can’t believe it. Tell me. What brings you back here Foley?

Foley: Well…you don’t think I’d be able to stay away too long do you? I’ve had a long enough vacation and now I’m back where I belong.

Paul: Well why are you just a commentating?

Foley: (with a smile) I got my reasons fat man. I got my reasons.

(The camera switches to backstage where King Cobra is getting ready for his match tonight. All of a sudden a masked man comes out of nowhere ad hits Cobra from behind with a chair. Cobra collapses to the ground. The masked man gives him a few kicks and then runs off. The camera switches back to ringside.)

Paul: What in the hell was that?

Foley: I don’t know but I do know someone’s going to be pissed.

Paul: I think you’re right. But let’s get to our first match.

(Music starts to play as Buckweet Roberts makes his way to ringside. The ring announcer introduces him as most of the fans cheer him, but some boo for their own reasons. He enters the ring and appeals to the crowd in the far corner. His music stops as new music begins. Dragon makes his way to a sizable round of boos. Dragon’s expression changes none as he finishes his way to the ring. The bell rings and the match is underway.)

Paul: Who do you favor Foley?

Foley: I’d have to go with Buckweet on this one. I’ve known him for a while and he’s one tough dude.

Paul: I couldn’t agree more.

Buckweet charges at Dragon with a strong right lariat. Dragon ducks it and runs off the ropes. Dragon flies at buckweet with a cross body block but Buckweet catches him in mid air. Buckweet executes a fall away slam on Dragon. Dragon rolls right out of the ring as Buckweet follows. Dragon grabs a chair and takes a swing at the unsuspecting, following Buckweet. Buckweet just stands there dazed. Dragon hits him again. Still Buckweet stands there dazed, a little wobbly this time. Dragon hits him a third time and Roberts drops to the floor with a thud. Dragon places the chair over Buckweet’s face and climbs onto the apron. Dragon tries to perform a senton splash from the apron but Buckweet moves out of the way, leaving the chair in place. Dragon lands on the only the chair and grabs his back in pain. Buckweet grabs Dragon by the hair and takes him up the entryway. Buckweet tosses him into the metal EWA sign in the entryway. Buckweet grabs a cable from the ground and wraps it around Dragon’s neck and begins choking him. The ref just looks on. Buckweet let’s go of the hold and brings Dragon to his feet. Buckweet tosses dragon back down the entryway towards the ring again. Dragon reenters the ring on his own. Buckweet reaches under the ring and pulls out a table. The crowd chants, “TABLE, TABLE”. Dragon runs towards Roberts and executes a baseball slide through the ropes right into Buckweet’s face. Buckweet falls to the ground. Dragon grabs the table and slides it into the ring. Dragon struggles to bring Buckweet to his feet then rolls him into the ring. Dragon sets up the table in the center of the ring as Buckweet gets back to his feet. Buckweet grabs Dragon from behind and places him in a cobra clutch.

Foley: Here it is. This is it. It’s all finished now.

Dragon stretches a leg back and hits Buckweet in the balls, releasing the hold. Dragon puts Buckweet on the table and climbs up with him. Dragon pulls Roberts to his feet and attempts the Flaming drop. Crowd begins to boo. Buckweet counters it with a fist to the midsection. Buckweet grabs Dragon for an attempt of the Hangman’s DDT. Crowd begins to cheer. Dragon counters it with another low blow. Dragon executes the Flaming Drop on Buckweet right through the table. Buckweet is out cold as the crowd erupts in boos. Dragon covers Buckweet. 1, 2, 3.

Foley: Well that’s surprising. How the hell did that happen?

Paul: It appears that Roberts has a little ring rust he has to work out as Dragon comes away with an upset.

Foley: Dragon better not get too sure of himself though.

(The camera once again switches backstage where Brandon Fox is walking down the hall talking to a few fans. King Cobra comes up from behind with a chair and nails him across the back of the head. Fox drops to the ground as Cobra hits him with the chair a few more times. Boos can be heard in the background.)

Cobra: You like wearing masks and sneaking up on people? Well let’s see how you like it. You’re not going to stack the match in your favor. See you in a little while, punk.

(Cobra walks away as Brandon is helped to his feet. The camera heads back to ringside.)

Foley: (laughing) I told you someone was going to be pissed.

Paul: But how does he know he was the one in the mask?

Foley: He has his reasons fat man. He has his reasons.

(The camera once again heads backstage. Mitch Xtreme is in the weight room getting ready for his match. Once again a masked man comes from behind him with a chair, hitting Mitch across the back of the head. He then proceeds to kick him while he’s on the ground, once again running away.)

Foley: I didn’t say his reasons where right. Just said he had his reasons.

Paul: Indeed. And I have a feeling someone else is going to be pissed too.

Foley: Well I’d be too. Wouldn’t you?

Paul: Sure would.

(Music begins to play as Karsh Vengeance makes his way to the ring for his match. His fists are taped with broken pieces of glass glued to them. The crowd gives a soft cheer as he makes his way to the ring. AS he enters the ring the music stops and new music begins. Miami Missile makes his way to a chorus of boos. HE doesn’t seem to care that the fans are booing. With his taped and glassed hands he enters the ring and the match goes underway.)

Foley: Damn this is going to be good.

Miami takes a swing at Karsh, but he ducks under it and punches Missile in the stomach. Missile grabs his stomach in pain. Karsh executes a roundhouse on Missile, sending him to the mat. Karsh tries to drive his fist into down into his opponent but Missile moves out of the way, Karsh only hits the mat. Missile tackles Karsh but Karsh rolls him over and straddles him. Karsh goes to town on Missile with a few mounted punches, and then stands up waiting for him to pick himself up. Missile is busted wide open from cuts on his face. Missile charges at Karsh. Karsh leapfrogs Missile. Missile rebounds off of the ropes and hits Karsh with a flying fist, busting him open. The crowd cheers all the blood. Missile grabs Karsh by the head and begins to grind his fist into his forehead. Karsh begins to bleed even more. Karsh manages to push Missile away then executes a dropkick. Missile falls to the mat. Karsh grabs Missile’s head and grinds his fist into his forehead, making him bleed even more also. The crowd yells chants of, “HO-LY SHIT, HO-LY SHIT”. Karsh executes a reverse DDT on Missile and waits for him to get back to his feet. Karsh begins measuring up Missile. Missile slowly gets back to his feet. Karsh delivers the Crazy Kicks to Missile. Missile is laying on the mat, out cold. The ref begins to count: 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10 The bell rings and the ref awards the match to Karsh Vengeance.

Ring Announcer: Your winner as a result of a 10 count, Karsh Vengeance!

(The crowd begins to cheer as the bloody Karsh Vengeance’s hand is raised. EMTs come to ringside to check on both contestants, more of which going to missile.)

Paul: Well…. That sure was a bloody match.

Foley: You act like two people getting punched with a fist covered in glass won’t make them bleed. Why are you so surprised? It’s not like this is a kid’s show or anything for crying out loud.

Paul: What I meant was both contestants are….

Foley: Sure you did. We all know what you meant.

Paul: Well anyway I’m told that there is something going on backstage.

(The camera heads back to the action where Buckweet Roberts is throwing things around and yelling like crazy.)

Roberts: Where the hell are you at you chicken-s**t bastard. You think you can get away with this. I’m gonna show you what being a man is all about you little piss-ant you. Where the hell are you?

(Roberts continues to yell as he rounds the corner and out of view of the camera. The picture then switches over the Kelly Jacobs who is standing with a microphone. She has with her Bad & Beautiful. The women in the crowd can be heard screaming as they appear on the screen.)

Jacobs: With me now is one of the greatest tag-teams to ever compete in the EWA.

Blanks: Correction Kelly….THE best tag team to ever compete in the EWA.

Jacobs: (with a smile) That may be so. But what do you plan to do now that you’re back in the EWA?

Blanks: First of all, the two of us want out Titles back. We never lost them, hence they should still be ours. Secondly, we’re the only tag team currently in the EWA. Everyone else is too afraid to compete with us. Hell, the only reason anyone would compete with us would be to get their ass on television. So that leaves us with a lot of free time for extracurricular activities, if you know what I mean.

Jacobs: I have a good feeling I know what you mean.

Blanks: I have a good feeling you do to. As a matter of fact. Why don’t you come back to our locker-room with us and we’ll show you just exactly what we mean.

(Jacobs looks both Blanks and Harrison up and down for a few minutes with a big smirk on her face.)

Jacobs: I don’t mind if I do.

(Jacobs tosses the microphone away as the three head off for the locker-room. The camera once again changes to the commentators where Foley is laughing his ass off.)

Foley: You know, it’s just like them two to be doing things like that. I remember back in the Ultimate Alliance when those two always had the women following them. And they always had time for them too. (laughs again)

(Umbabaraumba by Soulfly starts to play and out comes Mitch Xtreme. He makes his way to the ring with a chorus of boos through the crowd, which only seem to get even louder. After being in the ring for a while the music fades out to be replaced by Smoke on the Water. The boos almost instantly turn from boos to cheers. Brandon Fox appears and head to the ring. He enters the ring and stares at Mitch. The music disappears and again is replaced by different music, this being of King Cobra. The lights dim as fireworks sprout from the entryway. When the sparks cease out comes Cobra. He stops at the top of the ramp where he does his usual taunt, then begins to walk slowly and casually to the ring. As soon as he enters the ring the bell rings and the match begins.)

Fox immediately goes after Cobra with a clothesline. Cobra ducks out of the way but gets hit by a clothesline from Mitch. Mitch goes to clothesline Fox but Fox ducks and tosses Mitch out over the ropes to the floor. Cobra gets back to his feet. Cobra grabs Fox from behind and executes a reverse DDT. Mitch gets back into the ring. Cobra begins to stomp Fox. Mitch joins in. Cobra let’s up on Fox and hits Mitch with a forearm. Fox gets back to his feet. Cobra hits Mitch with a DDT. Fox hits Cobra with a super kick as he turns around. Mitch gets back to his feet. Fox attempts a super kick on Mitch but he ducks, catches his leg and give his a low blow. Fox falls to the mat. Cobra runs at Mitch and delivers a bulldog. Cobra drops an elbow on Fox, then another on Mitch. Fox gets to his feet. Fox whips Cobra into the ropes. Fox hits Cobra with a power slam. Mitch charges at Fox. Fox hits Mitch with another power slam. Both Cobra and Mitch get back to their feet at the same time. Fox hits Cobra and Mitch with a double clothesline. They get back to their feet again. Fox hits both with another double clothesline. The crowd bursts into a frenzy. Fox points to the crowd. A masked man runs out from the entryway with a chair in hand. The masked man enters the ring and hits Fox in the back of the head with the chair. The crowd begins to boo. The masked man exits the ring and pulls out a table from under the ring.. He sets up the table then pulls out barbed wire from under the table. He places the barbed wire on top of the table. The masked man renters the ring and places Fox up on the turnbuckle. The masked man executes a top-rope t-bone suplex on Fox to the outside and through the barbed-wire table. The crowd chants, “HO-LY SHIT, HO-LY SHIT”.

Paul: OH MY GOD!

Foley: That’ll hurt.

The masked man leaves the ring and heads toward the entryway. The masked man stops and faces the ring, looking on. Both Cobra and Mitch get to their feet and see him. They look at Fox and then back at the masked man. The masked man takes off the mask.

Paul: It’s Gyro…It’s Gyro!

Foley: Damn Paul. You’re making me hungry for that Greek food. You know the pita filled with lettice, tomato, onions, ranch dressing, and veal.

The masked man heads backstage. Cobra looks at Mitch then kicks him in the stomach. Cobra executes the Snake Charmer and goes for the pin. The ref counts: 1….2….3 The bell rings and the ref raises Cobra’s hand. The crowd bursts into boos.

Paul: Can you believe it?

Foley: Well. I’ve seen it. I CAN believe it.

Paul: What’s going to happen now? Join us on Saturday for Saturday Night Special to find out. Good night everyone.

(The EWA logo appears and then fades away, only to be replaced by a commercial for Jim Slim pork sticks.)