"Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Near Mars" They showed up on my doorstep
Just a couple weeks ago
They looked so sweet and harmless
Tell me, how was I to know?
They got a little too close to the microwave
And then much to my surprise
They grew to forty thousand times their original size
They started mutatin' right before my eyes, oh my

Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars
A race from a distant place,
they came in UFO's shaped just like Cuban cigars
Man, oh man, you oughta hear 'em squeal
Now the whole wide world is their exercise wheel
Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars

The president, he's in a panic
The Pentagon, they're in shock
There's a team of research scientists
They got 'em workin' 'round the clock
Now the National Guard is out in my backyard
And the Marines will be comin' around
I hope they get these lousy rodents out of my town
'Cause the property values are goin' way down, now

Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars
They're back and they're lookin' for a snack
And they're not that fond of Burger Kings or salad bars
I hope they're not plannin' to stay
Who invited them here anyway?
Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars

Well well, look at that hamster, he's as big as a blimp
And there's one the size of Central Park
They're usin' telephone poles to pick their teeth
They're evil and nasty, and they glow in the dark
Well don't waste any more of your bullets, boys
You know it just makes 'em mad when you shoot
They're gonna stomp us into jelly, and conquer the world
But you gotta admit, they're really kinda cute now

Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars
What a racket they're makin', Jack
They keep me up at night playin' their electric guitars
Listen to 'em squeal
They think the whole stinkin' world is their exercise wheel
Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars
Hey, Jack, you better watch your back
Here come those hamsters from a planet near Mars

Well, well, it's called the
Attack of the radioactive hamsters
From a planet
A planet near Mars