As the time went on, their time together became more and more limited, as Kevin's scedule became more and more hectic. The day of the beginning of the tour was getting closer and everyone was in a rush to have everything completed on time.
Kevin had rehearsals for most of the day, everyday, but as soon as it was over, he was with Drew. The time he was able to spend with her, he tried everything he could do to treat her like a princess. Despite the fact that he could see her coming closer and closer to the hurt they both knew were coming everyday.
He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and tell her that everything would be ok and he wasn't going anywhere but he couldn't do that. He couldn't trust himself to get close to her and not make love to her. He wanted to. And sometimes he was amazed at his will not to but he couldn't
He couldn't precisly explain his motives, only that if they didn't make love, it would be easier. Easier for her to forget him once he's gone and easier for her to find someone else.
As always, the thought of Drew with someone else caused his stomach to clench and caused him to see red. He picked up the glass that was sitting on the coffee table and without thinking, threw it against the wall. It shattered against the wall, narrowly missing Brian, who had been standing in the doorway. As the broken glass slid tothe floor, Brian crossed the room and sat on the couch beside Kevin. They were in a breakroom at the offices of Jive Records where they'd just finished with a meeting.
"Why aren't you gone yet?" Brian asked. "I would expect you to be halfway to Drew's house by now." When Kevin made no move to reply, Brian inquired softly, "Wanna talk about it?"
Kevin was silent for a few moments before sighing and leaning forward and putting his head in his hands. In almost a whisper he said, "This is so hard, Brian. I mean, I've left a dozen girls behind before and I brushed it off as part of the business." He paused and looked over at Brian before continuing. "But now I feel like I'm leaving a part of myself behind. And for the first time ever, I'm questioning if this," He waved a hand around the room, indicating his surroundings. "is what I want to do with my life. If maybe I'm supposed to be somewhere else."
Brian looked at the passion and complete torment in Kevin's eyes and knew they had a problem. He knew that there wasn't a time when all five of them had wondered if it was all worth it. But inthe end, when they were up on the stage with hundreds of thousands of fans screaming for them, they knew it was. But now Kevin was thinking of leaving it all. And for a woman.
And it wasn't as if he didn't understand. He himself found it extremely difficult to leave Leighanne everytime but he knew he had to.
Sighing, he leaned forward. "I know how yo feel, Kevin. I know it's not easy to leave her." He tooka deep breath vefore continuing. "And if you want to leave all this behind, we'll all be behind you. But you have to think this over. If you left this for Drew and stayed with her, how happy do you think she'll be, knowing that she kept you from your dreams? And how happy would you be, lying in Drew's arms but constantly yearning for the rush of the stage? I'm not trying to dissuade you, Kevin but I'm begging you to think it over."
Looking away from Brian's pleading eyes, he knew he was right. He had already made the decision to leave and he had to stick to it.
******************************
"So what ever happened to Olivia?" Drew asked as she laid fork and knife beside the plate on the table. The two of them were setting the table in the dining room for dinner.
"I don't see why we have to set the table now, dinner's not even half ready yet." Kevin said as he placed his own fork by the plate. He looked up from the table to see Drew standing there with her hands on her hips, glaring at him. Kevin tried to surpress his smile as he finished setting the table. He wasn't the least bit embarassed that she'd caught him trying to avoid the question. He put his hands on her waist and guided her back into the kitchen where dinner was cooking.
"Ok, I'll tell you." he said as he took a seat on a stool and Drew went back to the stove. "We were on a lunch date and I got a little...uh...distracted and left the cafe. I was gone for a few minutes and when I finally made it back, she was fuming. She shouted a little, and pretty much told me she never wanted to see me again." He shrugged his shoulders, "That's it."
"That's not it." Drew said as she stirred the pasta. "Why was she so mad at you? Surely it wasn't just because you walked out." She looked back at Kevin and thought she saw his face color a little bit. "Tell me what else."
"Nope." Kevin said and crossed the room to get a coke out of the refridgerator. He turned back around to see her standing with her hands on her hips and this time he couldn't help but laugh at the scene. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, still laughing.
Drew, with her teeth clenched, hit Kevin in the stomach. "I don't appreciate you laughing at me, Richardson. Now tell me," she hit him again, "what happened." She ended with one last hit to his shoulder.
Kevin backed up and tried to hide his lingering smile as he sat back down on the stool.
"Ok, if you must know. The date with Olivia was the day I saw you in that shop. I guess she saw me go in after you and when I got back I got a five minute lecture. And before you ask, no I don't remember everything she said but I do recall that her last sentence was that if I wanted to spend my time making a fool of myself over some...how did she put it...some dark-haired, over-rated floozy then she didn't wnat anything to do with it and frankly she didn't want to see me again." He paused for a second, then said, "She said all this in one breath."
Drew barely acknowledged his joke, only latched on to the part that drew most of her interest. "Floozy?! She called me a floozy?!"
Kevin forced himself to look completely serious as he put his hands on her hips and pulled her forward to stand between his knees. "Hmmm," he said, "She might have said hussy, but either way..." he shrugged his shoulders and Drew promptly hit him on it. Kevin smiled at her and kissed her soundly on the cheek.
Kevin's grin was infectous and Drew tried to glare at him but ended up smiling at him instead. She turned in his arms and leaned up against his chest.
"You're mean to me now," she teased, "But you'll miss me when you're gone."
At her words, Kevin tensed against her. It was the first time either of them had actually spoken of their impending seperation. They were both silent for a few heartbeats before Kevin finally spoke, softly and slowly.
"Drew...you know I don't want--"
"I think the pasta's burning." Drew said, interupting him and moving to the stove. Kevin let her go, his hands dropping to his sides. If she wanted to avoid the issue and not talk about it, he wasn't going to press her.
He watched her finish dinner and they said nothing else on the matter.
