Bobby
When i wipe my ass i find it nearly impossible to get all the shit off my ass. some people have darkly shaded assholes. i wonder if my asshole is shaded darkly, and i wonder if it's because i don't wipe my ass completely. i only have one arm, so it's really hard to wipe my ass. do you only use one arm? no not hand, i said arm! i thought my ass was dirty, you don't even use your arm to wipe your ass, what the fuck are you thinking! using one hand and toilet paper! you can get hepatitis that way, my uncle got it that way. he didn't believe in germs up to the day he died, and then one morning he stepped up on the porch after wiping his ass with a chicken... i mean toilet paper and one hand, and he said "bobby" and i said "yes uncle" he said "it's high time you went and joined Cryptorchid Chipmunk, and then maybe your life won't be as worthless as the chicken that i just used to wipe my ass" (he was a chicken farmer, and the particular culture of his chicken farmer associates dictated that he should say he was wiping his ass with a chicken, when in reality he was wiping it with one hand and toilet paper), and i said "but don't they worship the devil?" and he said "don't be a stupid fuck, they don't worship the fucking devil, you sound like my fucking wife, why don't you give them a goddammed break. shit, when i was your age i would've sucked the cocks of 10,000 shemales to be in that band" and i said "you would?" and he said "yeah, but don't tell my wife i did. they kicked me out when they found out that i wasn't related to any of the shemales, and that in fact, the shemales all worshipped the devil" and i said "do all shemales worship the devil?" and he said "god you're a stupid little fucker, no they don't all worship the devil, and even if they did who gives a shit as long as they don't bother me... now as for my wife, she does worship the devil, now you run along to your mother, it's about time for your breast feeding" and i said "okay". i then sucked my mother's breast for 17 years, and eventually it began to comsume me, literally the breast engulfed my body... i escaped, but how many more have to die that way before you learn... how many you bastard! you heartless fucking bastard!