NLM ONE UPS PERFECT..... AGAIN!
This past sunday at the House of pain No Laughing Matter once again destroyed Kid Pefect after Jester Challenged Kid Perfect to a "gimmick" match. Can Perfect overcome the odds, and will we find out what this "gimmick" is?

RAGE WINS SLOT AS NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!
This week with the world champ not in attendance, Rage once again earned his shot at the world title. But will Pedestrian X allow this to happen, and is the Timebomb willing to fight.

SLASH BANGS BOXING BITCH ON THE SIDE?!
Has anybody ever noticed that Boxing Bitch Is always wearing Slash's clothes. Rumour is she's just holding onto them on account of her mom coming home early and Slash making a leap of faith out her bedroom window. We should expect to see Slash In court for Stagitory Rape sometime this month.

P.S. The Coalition Is Taking Over