Soothing Baritone Voice: “Please wait one moment as your WWA file loads. Enjoy these commercial messages.”
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*Sound of Roaring Fans*
Omar Emerson: “I just wasn't happy, and I didn't like a lot of what was going on there...”
*Dynamic Music*
Announcer: “He was one of the most controversial stars of the White Mountain region...”
Omar Emerson: “...I'm not planning on going to anywhere else in WWA at the moment and I'm just going to look for other avenues to take up my time.”
Announcer: “Now that Granite State Tenacity will lack the presence of Mister Emerson, what does the future hold for one of the WWA’s flagship promotions? Tune into next weeks Granite State Tenacity!”
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Sean Haman: “Ladies and gents, welcome back to my corner of the WWA universe, the WWA endorsed pod cast. I’m your overtly knowledgeable host and corporately oppressed warrior, Sean Haman.”
*cough*
Sean Haman: “Now onto brief news. Omar Emerson will no longer be appearing on WWA television. Contrary to popular belief, this saddens me. I honestly needed an excuse to TiVO one of my favorite wrestling shows so I could do other things with my Monday Nights and NOT watch but now that he’s gone, I suppose I’ll just HAVE to watch GST. In other news, Eric Dane cut another promo. Good for him.”
“Other news indicates that good ole C.J Rowell will be in Hawaii to quote, ‘look for a fight’, end quote at Wrestling Paradise. How lovely. One goes to the aloha state to relax and you get a former heavyweight champ breathing down your neck. I’m sure it will make great television. Oh yeah, higher ups. I’m not going to relent on my petition to be apart of the International Wars broad cast booth. Sure, I’m only twenty-five but I’m far more recognizable and talented then any of the other hacks your hiding in your closet. You should seriously consider.”
Annoyed Producer: “Time is money Sean.”
Sean Haman: “Then lets spend some. Now, today’s guest is the first and only wrestler we’ve invited BACK to the WWA podcast. To be honest, he wanted to be back on the show and we’re glad to host him. This young soul is currently a free agent who’s stirring quite a few heads with some remarks and rumors going around the peanut gallery. We’re hosting none other then Mr.CCW, and former SWF star, T-Drake.”
*really, really fake applause is head. Sound of shuffling desk seats and adjusting microphone.*
Tommy Drake: “Hey Sean-E. Good to see that spark I saw you in exploded.”
Sean Haman: “After a few weeks or being a scared intern the folks above said I should just cut loose. I’m surprised I haven’t been fired for breaking kayfa...”
Tommy Drake: “Now, now Sean. All the smart homes and homesettes know that kayfabe isn’t real. It’s just some imaginary word that mean people who can’t appreciate story telling and would just prefer to watch the ‘The Best of Ken Jansen’ and proclaim it genius say.”
Sean Haman: *chuckle* How could I forget? Well first off Mister Drake, how are you doing? You’ve been quiet for some time now.”
Tommy Drake: “I’m doing well Sean-E. I’ve sort of been taking my sweet time...maybe too much sweet time thinking about my next home and sort of letting the residue from the SWF closing wash off.”
Sean Haman: “The SWF closing didn’t strike me as a terribly bad situation.”
Tommy Drake: “It wasn’t, homes. The main issue was in the fact that I never really got to get at what I wanted.”
Sean Haman: “The SWF title?”
Tommy Drake: “Nah, Sam Horrey. I was anxious to see what the Shinto home boy and I could do in the ring.”
Sean Haman: “I see. Now, are you ready for the hard hitting questions.”
Tommy Drake: “Now, Sean...do I look ready?”
*Pregnant Pause*
*Birth!*
Sean Haman: “No.”
Tommy Drake: “Ok. How about now?”
Sean Haman: *pleasant* “You bet. First off, a few weeks back you were spotted in your off time with a Lisa Coolidge. Care to elaborate on your relationship with her?”
Tommy Drake: *contemplating* You know, you’re very good at asking the uncomfortable questions, but not necessarily the hard hitting ones. Maybe you should re-evaluate your attack.”*chuckle*
Sean Haman: *determined* “Answer the question ‘home boy’.”
Tommy Drake: *pause* “Aight. Lisa Coolidge is a girlfriend of mine.”
Sean Haman: “A girlfriend? As in you have others?”
Tommy Drake: *hesitant, pondering* “Umm..uhh.”
Sean Haman: “Mister Drake, there is nothing constitutionally wrong about unmarried polygamy..”
Tommy Drake: “Let me just put it his way. T-Drake is loved by a lot of ladies. Lisa is a wonderful lady who I’ve come to know very well, religously and intellectually. She isn’t the one though...”
Sean Haman: “So she’s a ho?”
Tommy Drake: *pissed* “Whatchu say fool?”
Sean Haman: “You sleep with her. That’s what you implied. She’s a ho, correct?”
Tommy Drake: “Listen, Lisa and I have had a good time. We talked over Valentine’s Day. I probably won’t see her for awhile. Let’s just leave it at that and move right along.”
Sean Haman: “Ooh kay. We know what gets under your skin then. You’re not as cool headed as I thought you were.”
Tommy Drake: “You’re much more of an asshole then I thought you were.”
Sean Haman: “It’s called journalism Tommy. I just happen to be better at it then most of the folks who interview you.”
*awkward pause*
Sean Haman: “...I’m not going to say I’m sorry.”
Tommy Drake: “It’s cool..it’s cool. Next question.”
Sean Haman: “What was it like to run into your mentor Boris Sloka while you were recovering from battle wounds?”
Tommy Drake: “Well..it was quite an experience with in itself. The man radiates power and it’s sort of scary. The man is quite literally a bear. Sloka’s prescence has never translated well to camera though. Boris is back from the era of untelevised professional wrestling. He was never really seen by the kids at home. I only know one man who actually has tapes of him wrestling and that’s Logan Treasure. Point is, when he visited me in the hospital, it was probably one of the better experiences I’ve had this year. He offered some great advice and listened patiently.”
Sean Haman: “So you’d say current events have been rather rejuvenating for the soul?”
Tommy Drake: “From the time I was beaten up by Fury backstage to this point, I’d say so. It was a wake up call. It made me realize how negative my surroundings were and how I needed to get out of them as quickly as possible. With the defeat of Trench and Fury, I think I’ve accomplished a start to that.”
Sean Haman: *confused* “Negative surroundings?”
Tommy Drake: “I came into the Sadistic Wrestling Federation knowing that this place was by no means Wrestling Paradise nor was it the Bohemia that I’ve been seeking for since Canadian Championship Wrestling closed its doors. As a proud member of the I-H, I am trying to make a positive if not violent change through out the alliance. I chose to start in the most violent territory the WWA could offer me. Unfortunately, it wasn’t more so violent then it was a black hole of my focus.”
*breath*
Tommy Drake: “I was more focused on just getting my bearings on the ground in SWF that I never realized I was working in a desert of quick sand. As you may notice, the SWF is no longer here but the AWO and the revived OCW have arisen in its place.”
Sean Haman: “It has with explosive fan fare. What are your thoughts on the new regions.”
Tommy Drake: “Well, I haven’t had a chance to look at the Tidal Wave tape I’m borrowing from Rusty but from what I did see, Boxcar Willy is there. That man alone is worth admission into the alliance.”
Sean Haman: “Boxcar Willy?”
Tommy Drake: “He is the coolest man around. I worked with him waaaay back when I got my start in the Titan Wrestling Federation. He’s a funny guy, and talented to the max. He is the best representative to the trailer trash community I have ever seen. Willy sort of gives them a sense of unknown class.”*chuckle*
Sean Haman: *chuckle* “I see. What of OCW?”
Tommy Drake: “Well, I once said good bye to the fine doors of The Bunkhouse. I find it wonderful that the place that helped birth the maverick within me has come back from the dead. The place has quite a different roster and I’m looking into it.”
Sean Haman: “So when the rumor mill stated you were heading south, it was true?”
Tommy Drake: *smugly* “Well, sort of. The Weapons of Maverick Tour is officially about to begin and it starts with a sweep of the southern territories followed up with a curve right back north. Who knows? I might go back and hit some hot spots again. I’m sort of like Bon Jovi. I’m prepped to tour till the sun doesn’t exist anymore.”
Sean Haman: “Ladies and gents, you heard it here first. Tommy Drake will be TOURING the alliance. This is obviously in search of a new home.”
Tommy Drake: “Somewhat..more so its to get a vibe for these places and maybe cause a little ruckus. Lord knows the local rosters don’t like when a bigger rooster sweeps into their pit and instantly garners the attention away from the local sons.”
Sean Haman: “Well put. Last question Mister Drake. This is the tough one.”
Tommy Drake: “Bring it on Sean-E.”
Sean Haman: *strait tone*“Name the top five artists that you play on your I-pod...go!”
Tommy Drake: *feigns nervousness* “Gee..golly...gosh homes! Let’s see...Mindless Self Indulgence, Matisyahu, AC DC, Ryan Adams and...Kelly Clarkson.”
*AWKWARD SILENCE*
Sean Haman: “You..like Kelly Clarkson?”
Tommy Drake: “Homes, just because I’m man enough to dig pop singers, doesn’t mean you have to beat up on me. Besides, you’re the one wearing a Backstreet Boys t-shirt.”
*awkward pause*
Sean Haman: “Well, it looks like we’re just plain out of time. It was great talking to you Tommy.”
Tommy Drake: “Homes, don’t change the subject because you’re not proud of the Backstreet Boys.”
Sean Haman: “Thanks for tuning in..this is Sean Haman, signing out.”
Tommy Drake: “C’mon homes, even I can admit that they have some bitchin melodies!”
FIN