Do you remember those times, Steve? Do you remember what my fingers felt like when they caressed the soft skin just above the dip in your neck? Do you remember the smile you'd give me because it made you feel special? Do you remember you told me you would love me forever?
No, I suppose you don't. I was just another rung on the ladder to you, and when I broke you didn't skip a beat in finding the next rung in line. I'd feel sorry for Kurt if I didn't hate him so much. I'd feel sorry for Hunter if I didn't hate him so much. I'd feel sorry for Duane if I didn't hate him so much.
I do feel sorry for Chris, though, even as I hate him. Much like myself, he actually believed your profession of bullshit love. He thinks that smile is your special smile for him, and only him, no matter how many other people you give it to to keep yourself at the top. He's just as fucking stupid as I am.
I bet it's nice knowing that, huh? That no matter what, you have the two of us to fall back on. Must be real damn comforting to know that we'll always be stupid and believe you when the words "I love you and only you" fly out of that beautiful mouth of yours.
Except, I don't have to be that stupid anymore, do I? I don't have to believe you because I'm not a rung anymore, am I Steve? I don't have to put up with your bullshit. Why *am* I sitting here staring at you? Why am I watching the two of you kissing? Why do I let my heart break? Why am I still fucking sitting here?
Because I have to, Steve. I have to.
