You wanted nothing more than to break free from him, from his lies, from what he made you be, and I wanted nothing more for you. Drunk on my own ego I thought I could magically heal you, wake you from the nightmare he made you be, but the lines were drawn too deep inside you, weren't they? He had twisted you so much on the inside that no amount of beauty on the outside could compensate, and there was nothing I could do.
Oh, but how I tried, fool that I am. I knew, just knew, that deep inside there was a sleeping glimmer of hope within you, something to redeem all the wrong that he turned you into, and I sought to bring it out on my own, not even realizing that you may not want to be redeemed.
That's ultimately what brought on my downfall- you. In all my wanting, hoping, loving, I failed miserably in your rescue, only to be trapped within your poisonous web. Had my eyes been open for a mere second I would have seen that you were just like him, and wanted to be. So blinded was I by something I had not even realized controlled me until it was far to late, that I lost myself completely in you, and ultimately lost to you.
That something was love.
But you knew that, didn't you, Stephanie? You were fully aware that I had fallen in love with you in all of my noble intentions, and used that against me. Secretly you pulled me farther into you until I became as vile as you were and I didn't even see it.
Oh, but how I felt it. With each passing day, each fleeting kiss I felt it in my heart, yet did nothing to stop it. Again my ego told me that I was making headway with you, that I was change you back into the sweet girl I had always known. How cunning were your lies that even as the time drew near I believed you were free from all that he had wanted you to be, that I now know you wanted me to be. It wasn't supposed to end this way for you. You were supposed to ride on a star, be loved by all, and I was going to make that happen for you. In my infinite delusions I got it into my head, my heart, that I could make it all work for you and you would finally be happy.
Nothing could have been farther from the truth.
Instead of praise and adoration, I brought you nothing but scorn and mockery. Disdain and slander. You are so beautiful and kind, but no one wanted to see that. They didn't want to see beyond the sniveling little bitch you played for them because you had no other choice but to.
I saw it coming, but my eyes were closed. I didn't want to believe that you had lied to me, used me to attain all that I sought to get you away from. The delusions were ingrained so deep with in me then. I couldn't fathom at that point that you truly wanted his praise, his love. Had I let myself see the reign you so willfully gave him over you, I may have been able to end this differently.
But as it stands, I did not let myself see until it was almost too late, dear sister. Not until I saw you there in front of him, pleading with him to forgive you did I see what a fool I'd been.
Was that your plan all along I find myself wondering. Even now I wonder if he somehow got to you after all of my vain attempts to free you from his grasp, or did you remain there willingly from the beginning, carefully weaving the evil around my heart until there was no chance for me to escape myself?
The look in his eyes is still so vivid in my mind. Not because I had lost all that I owned to him, oh no. He knew that he'd won the one thing that I could never replace with all the money in the world. He knew then that he had finally succeeded in stealing you from me, and I knew that you had done nothing to stop it.
But oh how you tried to look mournful about it, tried to feign sorrow for me, and I could finally see through you then, see the blackness of your soul, the mirror image of his own. At the final moment I saw, and gracefully resigned my defeat. I wanted nothing more that to just be away from you, from what you turned me into, and I walked away with my heart bleeding there at your feet will you begged and pleaded for him to take you back into his graces, all for show I know.
And I managed to keep walking, somehow, until I could walk no more, could feel nothing. Alone and bitter, I'd holed myself up in this shell, away from prying eye, so no one could see what you had done to me. Slowly I'd begun to heal myself, to irradicate the poison within my soul from your touch, and just when I thought I could face the world again, you showed yourself before me again.
But you hadn't expected me to be prepared for that, had you? Oh, I admit that I wanted nothing more than to lose myself again in your tangled web, but I couldn't let myself this time, and really there wasn't anything to lose. No, all that I had ever been was left there before the two of you the day I walked away.
All, that is, except for the love I have for you.
Which is why I had to end it this way, don't you see? Because I do still love you, I had to finally remove all that blackness from you, my love, and had there been any other way to do it I swear I would have. But I tried everything else already, and at every turn I failed. This way, this way I know for sure that you are free of him, free of yourself, and I can finally be free of all that you made me be for you.
You're colder to the touch than I remember you being, but on the inside you feel warmer somehow. The juxtaposition of warm and cold envelopes me, and I wish it had always been this way. Though you make no sound, I can hear your moans echoing through my mind, through my heart, as I thrust in agonizing rhythm with your fading heart. I'm sorry it had to be this way, I truly am, but I had to cleanse the poison from you before I can truly release you from him. Have to fill you with all the love you shied away from before you can awaken from the demonic nightmare that is your very essence with my own.
I have to cover you now, dear sister, since the task is done. You're far too beautiful for the vultures to peck at you, the rodents to gnaw on. But do not fear this darkness, my love, for it will forever preserve you in it's slumber.
One last kiss now, before I cast the last stone, one final kiss for you, my sleeping beauty, and then I can go home.
