Of course, ya'll wanna know *why* I don't want 'em touchin' me, and that answer's real damn simple too: 'cause I just don't want the sick freaks ta touch me is all.
Yeah, ya heard me- I said "sick freaks" which doesn't *imply* that I know what the fuck they do backstage and behind their hotel doors, it means I *know* what they do, and I ain't that way. I ain't nobody's bitch, no matter what all ya'll slash writers wanna think.
What, ya'll think we don't read all that shit ya'll write? Hell, that's what half our damn storylines are based on! Makes ya feel good, don't it? Knowin' that Vince uses ya'lls stories as plotlines just gets ya'll all fuzzy and giddy inside, don't it?
Well, I'm gonna tell ya'll right now that ya got me all wrong. I ain't never sucked a man's dick much less had a man stick it up my ass- least of all Vince fucking McMahon's or Hunter Hearst fucking Helmsley's. What the fuck kind of man do ya'll take me for?
I do all the touchin'.
Just 'cause I have to teach 'em who's boss around here every now and then don't make me a fag. Hell, I do the same damn thing to the women when they step outta line. Just the way things are with me. Ya fuck up and I got my dick so far up your ass you can taste it. Simple as that.
Like I said, I do all the touchin' 'round here. If I let 'em touch me then I'd be givin' 'em some kind of control over me, and no one but Stone Cold controls Stone Cold. Not no one, not no how.
So get all that romantic, pathetic, depressive, self-loathin' bullshit outta ya'lls heads. Sweat don't break out on my bald little head and I don't get butterflies all in my stomach. I don't get all goose-bumpy when they touch me. I ain't never been raped, so that I ain't why I don't like bein' touched. I ain't been abused, I ain't been rejected, and I ain't under no one's control.
It's just simple logic, really: If you ain't the one who's touchin', then you ain't the one in control. I'm always the one in control. So ya know what? When they do touch me, I make damn sure they remember who the fuck *is* in control, and ya don't see 'em touchin' me after that 'cause they don't want me ta have ta re-teach the lesson.
Sorry it ain't more than that folks, but that's the way it is.
So the next time all ya'll fanfic writers out there hear me say "Please don't touch me" ya know why and ya can get all the little wheels turnin' in yer purty little heads as to what the hell I'm gonna do to 'em if they *do* touch me. Hell, maybe ya'll can give me a few ideas as what ta do to 'em.
Well, that's how damn simple it is, ya'll. Please don't touch me don't mean no more than just that- please don't touch me.
