When I began to write this column, I was thinking that I was going to update it every week or so, but yesterdays posts forced me to write a new WORD ON THE MAT column. Ok Ubhi, if you really do retire, well then we wish you the best. And by the best I mean to say that the rest of your life will be a living hell. I will personally make sure that Da Wahh, Book, Puuh, Murl, Muhnew, Little Sam, AND O YES even Dana come after you. They will all drag you back into the ring, and MAKE YOU de-tire. AND YES I just made that word up. It's the opposite of retire. We are doing this because a) You are our friend, b) ERW means Ubhinuv and c) We all love to see you scream in pain.

I know this all sounds kinda harsh Ubhi, but it's for the best, trust me. I mean WHO gave me the nick name Bone Bone? Ubhinuv. You think about that! Ubhi is in ERW 4 lyfe!

Ok so what's happening with the tag team matches? Well I am sorry to inform that there are no tag matches lined up for NO WAHH OUT. However lets not put the possibility of one happening out of our minds. This is the ERW, anything can happen SUCKA. The next scheduled matches are Waah and Muhnew vs Ubhi and Puuh. This sounds like a close match. The size of Wahh McStinky and the slipperiness of Ubhi... sounds cwazy. Lets not forget that Muhnew is an Indian brother, and he has the Ubhi blood in him. Puuuuuh may very well take out WahhWahh with ANOTHER peto-gree. I know you're whimpering on the inside there Wahh. SO this match looks pretty freakin even.

Another thing I would like to clear up are some ERW myths. I am referring to the recent posts on the Guestbook. MC Reefer says he is Wahh's Manager, but he also claims that Wahh can run a 4 minute mile. Wahh, I run it in 4:49. Now everyone close your eyes, go on close em, and imagine Wahh beating the Bone in a mile race... by 49 seconds! WOW! That kinda gives me the jibblies.

Refering back to the message board; Dottie, I know you think Ubhi is "a sexy ass rumbler," and you "want him" (a lot of people want him, hell Book's one of them,) BUT unf and froit are NOT words! ALSO, God, what's the deal? Let's keep things straight here. I know you want to see gay naked men at NO WAHH OUT, and WAHHSYLMANIA, but hell! this is the ERW!!! EXTREEEEME RUMBO WRESTLING!!!! keep that crap up in heaven, we will stay down here and belly smack Wahh "McStainface" Wogan!

Ok, email me at rumbowrestling@yahoo.com. Does anyone else think its weird that my page is freakin purple??? Yeah that needs to change.