THE WORLD'S FINEST WRESTLING NEWS SOURCE
July 4, 2002 Edition
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The Terror, losing his talent to the A.W.E.,
in an undated photo.

DATELINE FLASH! - (TWW) In a move that has stunned the wrestling world, members of The Terror's T.W.O. concern showed up at a recent event run by Amory Wrestling Express, at the Armory.

The Whirl is proud to have brought you this news before anyone else.

"Aw, man, it was the greatest thing," said A.W.E. promoter, Bill Gargle, "I just got a call one afternoon from these guys, and they asked if they could come work for me at the next show. They didn't even ask for anything except some Funnymeals from Burger Boy. How could I say no?"

Making appearances at the A.W.E. show were T.W.O. mainstays "PIE Master," "The Non-Virgin Barry," and "Priest."

The crowd stood to their feet at the entrance of these men. They clapped and cheered as they cleared the ring and declared, "It's a good night for wrestling!"

"I thought it was awesome," said fan Jason Worm. "It just goes to show the kind of great talent that Terror is putting out these days. Great workers."

When our reporter asked "Barry" why he and his compatriots had made the appearance at the A.W.E. event, he replied, "Hey, baby. It's just a question of economics. We haven't had any shows in the T.W.O. in ages, so we just wanted to keep sharp. We knew that A.W.E. was running a show, and well, we thought: why not? Anyway, my motto has always been, 'Anything...for a lady.'"

"Barry" did assure our reporter, "We're still part of the T.W.O. team, all the way. Jazzercize."

The news caused a buzz in The Whirl's press pool. Most were curious as to what the repercussions of the appearances would be. Having only conjecture to go on, we weren't sure what to think.

"But I'll tell you, I think it's great," said one Whirl staffer. "I think it is the final death knell for Terror and his hate crime syndicate that he calls the T.W.O. I'm glad that at least these three men had the fortitude to stick it to Terror! At least these three men are honourable! They ought to get medals! Send up the flags! Terror's on his way out, I guarantee all of you that. You all had better agree with me that there's no way Terror can survive now! You all had better agree that it's all over! Terror's workers are leaving him, and his fans are leaving! That's what everyone I've talked to has said! I guarantee that you'll never see another fan won over to the T.W.O. and Terror now! He's finished! You all had better agree with me, because I'm tired!"

The Terror was unavailable for comment.

Name: Steve "Railroad" Salvage
Age: 44
Hometown: D-Ward, V.A. Hospital
Favourite Wrestler: Terror
Favourite Whirl Feature: The Terror's the man! Hah! Not much longer till they say I can get out of these straps! Then I'll be able to turn on the Tee Vee and watch my hero! They think they can break me? I'm right inside their heads! Hah! Me and Terror are gonna bring it down! Doc says that he wants to change the dosage on the Thorazine! I'm already Thorazine! That's my favourite magazine, by the way Thora-Zine. You ever read it? Get it? It's an orange. I shaved my head like Terror! What? Hah! Thora-Zine! Thor. Thora. It's not much longer before you all watch the Terror, because you're all crazy! I'm gonna be on the Tee Vee with the Terror! You ever drank Drano?

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