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 DATELINE FLASH! - (TWW) In a move that has stunned the wrestling world, The Terror and his TWO concern have successfully won their vicious legal assault against the honourable Todd's Wildlife Organization. The Whirl is proud to have brought you this news before anyone else. In a surprising reversal of an earlier ruling in favour of Todd's Wildlife Organization, Judge Lance Pooftermeister issued a ruling earlier this week that "The Terror Wrestling Organization is the sole owner of the proprietary rights of the initials 'T.W.O.' for trade and promotional purposes, sweetheart." The legal battle began over a month ago, when "Todd" of Todd's Wildlife Organization received an unsolicited phone call one evening urging him to take the Terror and his concern to court. "Yeah, that was the weirdest thing, dude," said "Todd" in a phoned interview. "Late one night I get this call from some gal who says that some fellow named 'Terror' is trying to kill off all the wildlife with some sort of pollution, and that he planned to shut me down. Well, dude, I didn't know what to think. But whoever this woman was, she sent me some money a few days later, telling me that I needed to sue this guy 'Terror,' or that I'd be just as hateful as he. And, man, I just think that 'hate' is a four-letter word." Todd was unsure of the identity of this mystery woman, but he did say that the money he received was accompanied by a letter, typewritten on bright white paper. The paper may, indeed, be the best on the market, but the printing seemed to be slightly smudged. "In fact, I've still got the letter," "Todd" continued, "it says, 'You had better sue them, and do it now, see. Otherwise, you are just as indictible for destroying our natural treasures as the Terror and his hateful TWO concern. Do the honourable thing and shut him down. That's what Timouthey would do.' But there's no signature." "Todd" expressed that he filed his grievances under duress, and that he personally had nothing against The Terror. We at The Whirl therefore questioned his state of mind. "Really, I just did this because I was afraid that someone was trying to destroy the planet, dude. But in the end, it seemed like that's not what this Terror was doing, man. I thought his show was [dern] cool, man. Awesome. And he said he didn't really care if we kept calling ourselves 'Todd's Wildlife Organization,' man. Which I don't mind, either, man, since that keeps my name up front, brother. Right on. Sure, he put us down at the beginning of his show, but that's really his way of giving us a lot of publicity. It was pretty cool of him to do that." Our reporter then terminated the interview, since it was obvious that "Todd" was suffering some sort of breakdown, undoubtedly caused by the trauma of dealing with The Terror and his hateful TWO concern. The Terror was unavailable for comment. Oddly enough, though, his representative stated that it was "only to The Whirl" that Terror was unavailable. Since The Whirl is, of course, your only wrestling news source, we don't really understand what was meant by that. |
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