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 DATELINE FLASH! - (TWW) In a move that has stunned the wrestling world, the computer system at The Whirl went down last Friday evening, to be resuscitated and restored only today! The Whirl is proud to have brought you this news before anyone else. Our computer system, upon which we rely somewhat heavily to access the internet and to publish each edition of The Whirl, unexpectedly ceased functioning last Friday evening, during an on-line conversation taking place between a member of our staff and an industry insider who wishes to remain anonymous. While there is no word on the exact content of the conversation, several reliable sources claim that it was a discussion regarding the so-called "Cult" angle, which seems to be going nowhere. Resident computer technician Gummy Feager reports, "Well, uh, at first we thought the problem was in the, uh, adapter that we use to connect the keyboard to the tower. Then, when we replaced the adapter, the keyboard still didn't work. So, uh, what we did then was open up the keyboard to 'fix' it, see. But then it still didn't work. So we went out and got a new keyboard. But that still didn't work. So, finally, uh, I went over to Office Depot and bought a new PCI slot card with two USB ports on it, and, well, that solved the whole thing." Feager offered his take on the problems by saying, "Uh, I really think the whole problem is just that the computer is old and the old AT slot got fried, or knocked loose, or something. It's really just one of those things, you know. Uh, mechanical failure." Not all the staffers at The Whirl see it the same way. "Mechanical failure? That's a likely story!" said one staffer. "That's ridiculous! Who ever heard of a computer that just failed for no reason? No, I'm pretty sure this was an act of malicious saboutage, that's what I'll bet. And I think we know who's behind it, don't we? That no good Terror, that's what I think." When questioned by our editor as to whether, perhaps, literarily it may not have been better for her to not name The Terror by name, but simply to let the comment hang, the staffer replied, "I have no idea what you are talking about. Unless you're in on it, too." The editor denies any involvement. Mr. Terror was unavailable for comment. |
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