THE WORLD'S FINEST WRESTLING NEWS SOURCE
April 2, 2002 Edition
Previous Editions of The Whirl

Latest Poll:
Where do I place the blame?

On The Scapegoat. 52%
On the sunny side of the street. 21%
Right with this old lady. 18%
In a small sack. 9%

Whirl staffer Mogreasha at
her computer, in an undated photo.

DATELINE FLASH! - (TWW) In a move that has stunned the wrestling world, Whirl staffer Mogreasha appeared as the big surprise inside Mashed Potato's Easter Egg at WrestleRama 16.

The Whirl is proud to have brought you this news before anyone else.

Mogreasha brought down the house as she emerged from the Egg. Mogreasha characteristically praised the work ethic of Timouthey, and reportedly made several comments against The Terror, which were well received by the crowd, who did not like The Terror.

Mogreasha reports that she exited the arena to warm applause and a hearty chant of "Timouthey is an honourable performer."

Timouthey, who had earlier been awarded the unofficial Jobber Championship by losing a match to Skooner, The Wrestling Loser, had to be transported the The Hospital after sustaining undisclosed injuries from a brutal attack from the likes of Seth. "The crowd was irate," says Mogreasha. "They couldn't believe that a lowlife like that Seth, who works for that no-good Terror, could attack an honourable performer in such a cowardly fashion."

A large portion of the audience made a visit to The Hospital after the show to check on the condition of Timouthey, Mogreasha says. When we called The Hospital ourselves for news on Timouthey's condition, the switchboard operator told us, "I'm not sure what you're asking," in an obvious attempt to inform us that Timouthey's condition had been upgraded to "stable."

There were unsubstantiated reports that the ambulance into which Timouthey had been loaded was observed to exit the arena with lights flashing and siren blaring, only to drive around the corner, where Timouthey then exited and drove away in an older-model pickup truck.

"I don't believe that for one second," says Mogreasha.

Mogreasha reports that there were also several matches on the card which did not feature Timouthey.

Also, Joe The Giant was attacked by an unknown assailant with a steel beam, Mogreasha tells our press pool.

As Joe The Giant was apparently attempting to announce his retirement, he was reportedly interrupted by a mysterious visage on the video screen. Shortly thereafter, Joe The Giant was attacked by a hooded figure who struck him in the stomach and across the side of the head with what eyewitnesses called "a steel beam, or something."

"It turned my stomach," said Mogreasha. "After the effort that Timouthey had put into the show, for something like this to happen was just too much. I think that whoever is behind this should be ashamed of himself."

Mogreasha then began to put two-and-two together, but we told her to stop.

We at The Whirl received a letter late last week, you see. And we'd rather stay in the dark.

Name: Mervert P. Moonshine
Age: 38
Hometown: Bug Tussle
Favourite Wrestler: The Terror
Favourite Whirl Feature: I like that the Whirl thinks that my brother murdered some guy.

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