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~~The scene opens on the side of the interstate. We see David Braddocks black Dodge Viper pulled over to the side of the road with a state trooper car parked behind him. The trooper walks up to Davids car, where David already has his window down and holding out his drivers license and the registration for the vehicle. The trooper takes the license and registration.~~

Trooper: Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?

David: 120 in a 70?

Trooper: What’s your hurry?

David: I’m late for work.

Trooper: And what exactly do you do?

David: I’m an anal stretcher.

~~The trooper gets a weird look on his face.~~

Trooper: What, exactly, is an anal stretcher?

David: Well, I start with one finger. Work my way up to two fingers. Twist and turn till I can get three fingers up there. Keep stretching, exedra … exedra … exedra … until I can get both hands up there. Then I stretch it to an average of six foot.

Trooper: What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?!

David: (grins from ear to ear) Give it a radar gun and sit it on the side of the interstate.

~~The cop gets a pissed off look on his face. Then the camera flashes to a screen with a brick background, where the following logo appears:

The price of the ticket: $150
The look on the cops face: Priceless.

Voice over: Some things money can’t pay for. For everything else … there’s Mystercard.

~~END SCENE!!~~