I was thinking about something recently...go figure eh (excuse the "eh"...I'm Canadian!)? Of all things, the idea of religion crossed my mind. Not a specific religion, but the idea in general. A belief that there is something out there besides a shit load of stars and a lot of nothing...or rather...something...whatever. I just don't understand how there can be so many religions in the world, each one claiming to offer the ultimate afterlife...or in terms of Hinduism, a constant cycle of the same shit. How the hell (haha...hell) are we supposed to know which is "right"? Are we supposed to believe documents that are thousands of years old, that are quite possibly the babblings of an opium fiend? Or perhaps we are supposed to pick the one that sounds more realistic...? Like not eating pigs because they are "unclean" animals (no shit...they're pigs) or going to the same building every Sunday to make sure when we die we don't get burned up somewhere poked in the ass (with a pitchfork I mean) by a big ass red guy?! Come on...

I am not trying to insult any religions here, I'm just trying to figure something out, so please don't send me mail saying "JESUS CAN SAVE YOU!" or "SHIVA IS GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!".

I just don't understand how one can possibly be "punished" for not believing in "the true God". Is it their fault? What about all those kids in the Congo jungles and shit that haven't heard about...say...Christianity...what happens to them? I mean, they didn't go to a church, temple, shrine or mosque. Does that mean they are going to get burned up for something they had no control over? Or do they get off scott-free while we have to keep missing sleeping in one day out of every week of our lives? Talk about getting screwed!

So what is the point in trying to find out which is the "true" religion, when a bad guess means you could live your next life as a dung beetle. I guess I have come to the conclusion that what every religion offers is a set of "accepted" behaviour (except those fucked up cults in Arizona and...uh...Sweden...that kill themselves and McDonald's employees in the name of Amigo Frank). Pretty much every religion says "this is right" and "this is wrong". They outline a code of behaviour that everyone should follow in order to live peacefully (sans Taliban) with one another. Then I thought, "Gee Poe, what if there was no afterlife? What if we weren't punished for what we do?". Of course the answer is anarchy. The rule of the wild would apply to people too, kill or be killed. People would be insane, there would be no social structure at all, and we would be no more than ill tempered, reckless, hairless (almost) chimps! Basically, there would be nothing to separate us from animals. "We have a bigger brain" you say? What good is a brain (or intelligence for that matter) knowing no matter what you do in life, it will amount to nothing? The whole idea of human achievement would go to shit.

So I think, if anything, religion offers a way of living, acting and thinking that allows us to have relationships with each other based on the idea that the guy next door isn't necessarily gonna come out of nowhere and kick your dog then fuck your wife. I know that sounded crude...but it gets the point across. Religion sets boundaries and guides to help us through life. If that means scaring the hell (teehee) out of people by threatening to toss their souls into never-ending torment, so be it.

Personally, I believe there is something out there. Call...uh...IT...God, Alah...Bob The Mechanic...whatever, there has got to be something more...and if there isn't...oh well. I had a few flings, sure my life wasn't fantastic, but what a fucked up ride!

And if there is a system of "judgement" out there, it is based on living one's life knowing themselves what is right and wrong, and making conscious decisions based on that (eg: not killing your sibling cause they just don't shut up...never...ever...shut up...). Everyone has a code of behaviour they follow...or try to. I think any "God" who will punish a person for eating a ham sandwich is the kind of "God" I'd like to beat the hell (HA!) out of.

And if there is no afterlife or anything, whoever came up with religion was a person who either needed a cheap-ass way to explain how they came to be, or someone who was far wiser than any of us are today. They saw guys humping sheep and said "That's nasty...how can I get them to stop?" ...enter Babbo...the god of beating the shit out of people who hump sheep.

LONG LIVE BABBO!

Poe