Raw Rant for April 8th, 2002
Last week we left off with Austin stunning Ric Flair. Are we going to go back 2 years again and have Austin defy the boss. Jesus stop recycling and re-using old angles!
Did anyone notice last week that Steve Austin was in the opening video to Raw? I knew he would sign with the Raw brand but why make it that obvious?
Raw starts with Taker coming out and whining about not getting his title shot, so out comes Ric Flair and he lays down the law. What's with the vulgarity Taker? Taker tells Flair to make him the #1 contender for after Backlash but Austin isn't having any of that and makes his way to the ring. He basically runs down Taker's costume and asks Flair wo he wants to hand the #1 contendership to. Now it is a choice for Flair between Taker and Austin for the #1 spot. Why does Austin think he is the #1 contender, because he beat Hall at Wrestlemania? Because he had problems with management and took a break? Whatever! Flair stresses he is the owner one more time in case we forgot. Flair makes a match for Taker vs RVD and Austin vs Scott Hall. Austin and Taker trade blows in the ring and Austin gets the better of him and then tries to stun Flair but thinks twice about it because he is the owner and all.
Bubba Dudley vs Booker T.
Good God, now Booker T is fighting for the Hardcore Championship? Show this man some respect. Booker does the spin-a-rooney to show the crowd his awesome moves so Bubba does a little break dance where they just conveniently had his dance music cued up. Booker gets thrown into the stairs and Bubba begins throwing weapons in the ring. Backdrop by Bubba followed by a powerslam. Bubba misses a splash and Booker hits a spin kick and then nails the scissor kick and pounds Bubba with a trash can. Bubba hits a samoan drop followed by a clothesline. Elbow drops by Bubba. Bubba goes to get the tables. Spinebuster by Booker. Booker sets up the tables. Goldust runs in and hits Booker T with a trash can lid and then delivers a DDT. Bubba catches Goldust and powerbombs him through a table for the 3 and the win. What a good way to get Booker T out of that god awful match. DUD
A whole bunch of backstage filler....I mean interviews take place.
Kane vs X-Pac
Falls count anywhere. X-Pac with chops and kicks to start but Kane hits a clothesline and a boot to the face. Body press drop by Kane and X-Pac gets thrown outside. Both men in the crowd now. We are now backstage and Hall and Nash attack Kane and X-Pac hits Kane with a chair in the head and gets the three count. X-Pac unmasks Kane and the nWo continue the beat down until Bradshaw makes the save. What is the point of unmasking Kane? It isn't like he doesn't have another mask at home. Why would Kane have only 1 mask. Wait a minute, didn't Taker unmask him at Wrestlemania two years ago, and the next night on Raw Kane had another mask? Maybe he used the only two masks he had, what is he gonna do now??? DUD
Nash has just been suspended by Flair without pay and Nash threatens to sue. What the hell is that, sue for what moron!
Spike vs Regal
Ok this is the second match that is the same exact as last week, I see they are running out of ideas already! Spike runs out and hit Regal with brass Knucks and wins the European Title in less than 10 seconds. What the hell? Oh what prestige that title has! DUD
RVD vs Taker
Ok if Taker wins he is the #1 contender and if Austin wins he is the #1 contender. Ok I guess both guys will win their respective matches and set up a match between the two at Backlash for the #1 contendership. Taker starts with punches in the corner. Clothesline in the corner by Taker. RVD with a boot to the face. Taker with a sidewalk slam. Taker with a bunch of stalling. Asai moonsault by RVD followed by kicks and punches. RVD shoves Taker into the ring post. RVD hits a pathetic looking kick from the second turnbuckle. Rolling Thunder. RVD tries for the 5 Star but Taker racks him and hits a superplex. Taker goes outside for a chair.....what are you doing Taker the #1 contendership is on the line. Van Daminator and another attempt at the 5 Star but Eddy Guerrero is on the outside of the ring and RVD launches himself towards Eddy. Taker hits the chokeslam and gets a two count so he tries the Last Ride but RVD wiggles out of it and hits a martial arts kick and finally nails the 5 Star Frog Splash but while he is selling it like he is dying, Guerrero nails him with the IC belt and Taker covers for the 2 count. Finally Taker hits the Last Ride and gets the 3. Aside from the major stalling from Taker, it was a very entertaining match. 2 1/2 *.
Trish vs Molly
Hey Molly colored her hair and changed her outfit, she looks a lot better now! Molly wins with help from Jazz. God I hate women wrestling.
Brock Lesnar is backstage with Heyman and he bashes Phoenix, Arizona. They head towards the ring.
I guess Heyman and Lesnar are down there to say their piece. Heyman talks about managing Austin and guiding Taker and being behind ECW. Out come the Hardyz and attack Lesnar but again Lesnar gets the better of them. Jesus this man is huge. Lesnar no sells two chair shots and Heyman stops him from going back in the ring.
Mr. Perfect vs Big Show
Why the hell is this match 2nd to last? This is an opener at best. Show with kicks in the corner and a chop that knocks Perfect to the outside. Show throws Perfect back in the ring. Clothesline by Show. Low blow by Perfect and a PERFECTPLEX of DOOM on the Big Show, but he only gets a 1 count. Chokeslam for the 3 count. What the hell was the purpose of this match again? DUD
Austin is shown sitting at Flair's desk with his feet up but Flair isn't there. Flair announces that if Austin wins it will be Taker vs Austin at Backlash. Geez, I didn't see that one.
Scott Hall vs Steve Austin
Wow another match that we have already seen in the past few weeks. That makes 3 tonight. Are they really that hurting for matches already and have no fresh ideas? Austin starts with punches and chops and a back elbow and Austin uses his vest to choke Hall. Body slam by Austin followed by a clothesline. Austin dumps Hall outside and chops away on him. Austin throws Hall back in. Hall throws Austin out and X-Pac attacks him but Austin throws him around for a bit. Austin calls his spot rather loudly and tries the stunner but Hall ducks out of it. Hall stomps away on Austin. X-Pac attacks Austin outside the ring. Hall throws Austin back in. Clothesline by Hall for a two count. Sleeper hold by Hall. Austin tries a backdrop but Hall slips and they re-do the move. Punches by Hall. Punches by Austin. Double clothesline and both men are down. X-Pac nails Austin again. Spear by Austin. Thesz press followed by the badass elbow. Attempted stunner but there is a ref bump. Taker runs down and clotheslines Austin but Bradshaw comes out and fights with Taker. Halls gets a two count on Austin. Hall lifts Austin for the fallaway slam but there is a second ref bump. X-Pac makes his way in an attacks Austin for a third time but out comes Flair and Austin nails both X-Pac and Hall with a stunner and he covers Hall for the victory. Austin then nails Flair with a stunner. 1 *.
If this is the type of wrestling that is supposed to keep my interest then I don't want to watch it anymore. I find myself wanting to flick through the channels to see if there is anything better on TV and wishing Raw would end so I don't have to do a rant anymore. If the WWF were smart they would stop re-cycling old angles and come up with fresh ideas, and oh yah......get new writers, and seperate writers for each show.
Until next time...... I am the Net Detective
