[A cold thunderous night sets the stage for EHW’s Wednesday Night Warning with a big match including the surprise return of the Comeback Kid himself, The Great Ian Kaufman. He teams with Ravage to face the likes of BZ and TJ Powerhouse in a star studded tag team matchup that has the entire company raving.] [Walking out of his new BMW, Ian locks the door, he sets the alarm as he carefully makes his way to the arena. He looks a bit dejected, a bit confused, a bit pessimistic. Many thoughts go flowing through his mind…] [‘Am I good enough anymore?’, ‘Is my body ready to wrestle again?’, ‘Am I getting too old for this job…’] [Nah….] [As he opens the door to the arena for the first time in almost a year, many memories flash back to him…] [“Ian Kaufman has Ravage down for the count, here at Changing of the Guard 2002! This is for it all folks, this is for the World Heavyweight Title!”] [1…2……KICKOUT kickout kickout kickout] [The word repeats itself like an unworthy enigma, and Ian cannot forget his only title bout ending in defeat…] [But that’s why Ian’s here in EHW again, to finish his ‘unfinished business’] [O Riley] Hey, well if it isn’t Mr. Ian Kaufman. Good to see you again, no? [Ian] *awkward silence* …….Yeah it always is, Mr. O Riley. [O Riley] So how you been, how’s that knee buggin’ you? You’ve been out quite some time Mr. Kaufman, and let me be the one to tell you EHW’s been through some changes! [Ian] It’s good n’ healed, but uh….EHW has been through some major changes, I’m aware of that, attitude changes, persona changes, employment changes, all of the above. I’m here for one reason Riley and one reason only- [O Riley] That’s MR. O RILEY to yo- [Ian] *stands up* NO, Riley, enough of this crap. Just cause I signed your little contract doesn’t make me your little bitch. You know who I am, goddamnit? I’m Ian “Hell Yeah” Kaufman and there isn’t anybody who tells me what to do. And as I was sayin’, I’m here for one reason and one reason only….that reason is to become EHW World Heavyweight Champion and there isn’t anything you or your little posse can do about it, got it chief? [Ian storms out of the room in a fit of rage and Jack O’ Riley is seen standing, speechless, with a grin on his face] [O’ Riley] Haha, he’s back! *Commercial Break* ..::.. Ian is waiting in the parking lot and looks very anxious, as seen with his body language. He is tapping his feet and looking at his Rolex wrist watch every 15 to 30 seconds it seems. Another off-white BMW pulls up with a lisence plate that firmly reads "DoA 4 Life." A person steps out, exactly the same frame as Ian Kaufman but with blonde hair a big longer, and with an ear-to-ear grin on his face. ..::.. [Ian] Excellent *laughs* [Apocalypse] Sup bro? [Ian] Ah same ole, you know how it is, man. *delayed silence* Ahh I know what your gonna say, I've heard this one too many times before. You don'-- [Apocalypse] No, Ian....no. Just...no. You have...last year, uh-huh, February 2002. Ravage versus Ian Kaufman. EHW WORLD TITLE...on the line. Ian slips, falls, bam! There goes his knee. There goes....his CAREER, man. One year later, he comes gimping up on e-- [Ian] There goes my career? What? Dude...I am 25 years old man, I'm in the beginning of my career almost. I've only been around wrestling for what...2-3 years now? Don't go telling me that I'm done, damnit! [Apocalypse] Ian...Ian I'm your bro, we go way back, I'm just looking out for your best interests-- [Ian] *yelling* My best interests are HERE in EHW and wrestling BZ and TJ Powerhouse this Wednesday night. And if you're not gonna be supporting me...then yo-- [Apocalypse] Well I don't encourage it...but as your brother....listen there was a reason I came here all the way from Greenwhich and it wasn't to b*tch at you for half an hour. [Ian] Well it damn well seems like it! [Apocalypse] *puts hand up in silencing fashion* ....Ian I came back to stand in your corner, to join PiW and to return to my roots, in the squared circle... [Ian] ..... [Apocalypse] I know I'm 29 and I've had alot of injuries, and it looks really hypocritical *smirks uncomfortably* -- [Ian] It IS hypocritical. [Apocalypse] Look, the point is your comin back, I'm comin back, we're all comin back. We'll be in the same faction, we'll cruise through the company. I'm just here, for your support my main man. I'll be your....your 'manager' so to speak and wrestle when the time comes. [Ian] *thinks*....Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know I'm cool with it, man. ..::.. They pound fists and the scene fades to black ..::.. *Commercial Break* ..::.. The lights turn off and the fan frenzy begins, everyone knows its Ian Kaufman. The fans begin to chaotically freak out, and all that is heard is a loud, rambunctious roar, synchronized as one. A heartbeat plays over the PA systen and there is a noticable time interval between palpitations. Then *BAM!* pyrotechnics go off and Trust Company's "Down to Zero" (ahem not Falling Apart, thank ya very much) play over the speaker loudly and the fans begin to love it! Ian Kaufman makes his way out from behind the curtain among a cloud of sparks and smoke, Apocalypse follows not far behind. ..::.. ..::.. Ian slides into the ring with a mic in hand and Apocalypse is not far to follow. Apocalypse clutches his shoulders from behind and massages them, in a venerable fashion as Ian has his hand up, about to speak. The chants of Ian Sucks, Ian Sucks, Ian Sucks are defiant throughout the arena, postponing Ian's tv time as he holds his hands up in the air and smiles angrily. He pauses, and pauses, and more pausing, until the crowd is through with their banter. ..::.. [Ian] Baltimore, Maryland, how are ya? *fans boo* Ohh Baltimore, sorry that was last week, my bad. Same dump, different name. *Ian Sucks chants begin* Look I know how much you all wanted me back, and here I am baby, here I am. Divine intervention brought me back, popular demand is gonna keep me stacked. See I was here, in this very ring OVER a year, OVER a year ago, ONE whole year ago I might add when I blew my goddamn knee out. I bet some of you--most of you enjoyed that. But, to your chagin, I am back and ready to roll. And this Thursday I have to face BZ and TJ Powerhouse in some stupid tag team match with Ravage. The same f*ckin Ravage that blew my knee out, but hey, thats a whole 'nother story, folks! See if I was BZ I'd have no free time.....*waits for crowd to understand joke*. Oh come on you hicks, you cant even understand the concept of being busy comparitively as to that of having free time? Ahh well if I was BZ I'd be crappin' my pants right now, knowing that I am the very first victim in a year for Ian Kaufman. Cause right now I'm pissed, I havent raised hell in a year and thats way too damn long for me. Way too damn long, I've been sittin on the couch with all this frustration, and having the tv stuck on "The View" didn't help my anger problem. Listen BZ, you'd best get your ass "BZ" away from the ring so it doesn't get kicked in like I will on Wednesday. Cause BZ and TJ, your quickly gonna found out what it's like, time to pick fellas, Dead or Alive?!?!...oh ya I know that by far I am the most intellectually superior member on the EHW roster, and am the most athletically gifted but get ready folks cause my one and only bro, The Apocalypse is joining me for quite some time in one hell of a run here in EHW. He is also...the newest member of PiW, ladies and gentleman, the APOCALYPSE! *Apocalypse puts his hands in the air in a sign of superiority as the music hits and Ian and Apocalypse walk to the back* FIN