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| The Sturgeon View By: Benzilla
My aplogies for the lateness of this, Hardee's and there demands for there "Free Sample night" prevented me from getting it up right away...but Back again, its the Sturgeon View. Few things before we begin, did anyone else see Weasel's contacts? Those were awesome, sure it's just some fake contacts but still, its about the look. I was quite intrested in the set up and how exactly wrestling could happen in an inside sports complex, and after seeing it the only thing I could see was rug burn and lots of it...that and landing on cement didn't look too inviting. As I'm sure most figured out, this was quite the new crowd...and once the matches started, it become painfuly obvious as you could here someone fart in the back row. Thank god the Sturgeon Bay crew's voices (along with the other "regulars") are getting used to yelling extremly loud, but the headache that results from it at times makes you beg for someone else to start yelling. I'll give another go here at trying to remember stuff from the matches, but don't hope for much. I could start buying tapes off that ACW-NWA website (I hear the webmaster of it is a the "biggest stud in Wisconsin, atleast says Josie): J-Cash, J-Real and Shane Hills def. Romeo Valentino, KC Styles and Red Lightning Right off the bat Mom doesn't like Valentino, who she insists on calling "Papa Murphy" from here on. Good to see Carrot Top again, he hasn't lit the world on fire but I thought it was good to see him again. Styles is still being known for his fishnet wearing back at the Cecil Show. And finally I got to hear what the hell that talking was before Cash/Real's music was. The match, well again I draw nothing. Valentino did alot better then I figured he was, I'm convinced that big guys are nothing more then just blah brawlers. Charsima is a good thing. The interaction with the Hills/Norwood storyline was good, I like consistancy. Again though, most of the crowd has no idea in hell who these guys are and what there doing. Mom decided to cheer for Cash/Real/Hills, and considering its my Mom I'm not shocked. She adds that she doesn't like any of there "uniforms". I also have to reluctantly give Hills some credit, we start chanting "You Sold Out" to Hills, who decided to confront me and respond with "I sold out? Well they sold out of chicken McNuggets after you ate at McDonald's"....I could only come up with "I work at Hardee's damn you!" for a response. Hills 1, Ben 0. Somewhere in all of this NWA decides it just needs to have its own announcer, and Mom doesn't like the new announcer's uniform at all. She says the colors don't blend well together, but ACW's announcer Mike Winters is again the best dressed guy in ACW-NWA. Lacey def. Mia Martinez and Josie in a 3 way ladies match Well for the sake of keeping any of the three from deciding to take legal action because of possible sexual harassment, my real thoughts are censored here. Byron and the rose, I enjoyed seeing Byron get shot down. I felt that with all the extra bodies around the ring it really took alot away from the actual match, but you'd kinda expect that with the ACW vs NWA angle and what not. XXXplicit Content def. The Loads Brothers The Tools are right about XXX, I'll give them that. The Loads make well for fun faces, and the Spongebob costume atleast helped in the crowd doing something. The Sturgeon Bay crew also busted out some chants too: "Where's Bob's Sandwich? Busty Ate It". Its a chant that was inspired by an old ECW tape "Guilty As Charged"...2000 or 2001 I believe. It had Sandman on it, that's really why I watched...anyways, during one of the matches Big Sal is out there doing nothing, but the crowd chants "Sally Ate It, That's Why He Sucks". So during intermission Bob yells "Busty Ate My Sandwich"...I responded with "Thats Why He Sucks"...guess who was about 2 feet away? The Loads...I ran quickly, and then ran into Bob who also is waiting to get me back for my "Household Cleaning Tips w/ Big Bob" antics in the last Sturgeon View. Anyways, the match was all good and dandy, except for NWA winning of course. They knock Spongebob to the ground, damn those heels, damn them! Dysfunction def. Silas Young, Brandon Blaze, Marco Stylez and Shawn Daivari Words can not do this match justice for a recap...and I can't figure out how to explain half of the action anyways. It was an awsome match, as one would expect. I know the Brandon Blaze name from somewhere, just can't figure where..favorite non-Byron/Dys involved chant: "Marco!" "Polo!". Daivari busts out the Carpet Ride, which I was again glad to see because of its uniqueness...and misses. Dys I believe gets the carpet himself and does it. Dys is slowly becoming a favorite heel wrestler of mine as he's actually NOT AFRAID TO INTERACT with the crowd...one thing I'd hope more of the heels do. Byron was tagging along, and we started making some random comments about Byron and his boy liking nothing new, and somehow it leads to Dys begining to hump the turn buckle....very funny stuff indeed. It certainly beats the usual "continue to stare blankly at the ring" or the ever so fierce "shut up!". The crowd is silent, Dys says a simple "Nice and silent just the way I like it" well holy hell everyone's got something to say. After the match, our promoter Jason Jerry has something to say...but not before Team NWA tries getting Davari to jump he makes a funny referance to Middle East guys working at 7-11 and says no but Priest wants the right answer by the end of the night. Jason gives it another go at what he had to say...Mom has decided to dubb Jason as "Little Vince" and yes, as in McMahon...could be worse, she could mean Russo, but if she knew who Vince Russo is then I'd say the apocolypse is indeed comming. Anyways, Jason sets up a ACW Heavyweight title match between Dys and Jordan later tonight because once again, our faithful NWA Midwest Champ has no showed...that's 2 months in a row the champ hasn't showed. I know things come up, blah blah blah...did Evans have some Final Exams to study for or what? But I wasn't thrilled with the orgional Title vs Title match anyways, its a 2 in 1 match that's why...I'll gladly take a supplement Jordan/Dys/ACW Title match. Off to the begining of the newly made NWA WI Tag titles...here's where I'd wish for some sort of explaination about how this all came about. Just for informative/curiousity reasons. I think intermission was somewheres around here, and I almost got myself beat up by the Loads. Comming in fresh off my smoke break/realize I have a headache from yelling Big Bob yells "Busty Ate My Sandwich!" I respond with "Thats why he sucks". God are my reviews of matches off the subject of the actual match...oh well ACW tag champs "Kamikaze" Ken Anderson and Adrian Serrano beat Black Stallion and Mason Quinn Good wrestling prevails again....Anderson has completly turned my opinion on him since his WWE match. Granted he can't beat S.H.I.T....someone please get that...Dan wanted to chant it so I wrote it here. There was alot of chants we wanted to do, but figured we shouldn't like say chanting "She's a crackwhore, thats why she sucks" at Weasel's tag along....the Ms. Hancock look alike, I'm sure she has a name, but I get lazy about those. She did however mange to successfuly piss my mom off for the time being, as she swatted at me with her piece of meaningless crap NWA flag, missing me by either half foot or if we use wrestling's measurements "mere centimeters". Works just like the 15 foot drop off the stage, as the rent-a-paramedics reach up on the stage for there stuff. Anyways, back to my orginal rant...Anderson to me strikes me as a charismatic dork. One that has so much charisma he just has to be dork about it and it does the trick. Its hard for me to explain, but I enjoy his charcter none the less. You know, maybe that's why I can't really remember anything from matches other then comdic or angle stuff...I just watch wrestling really for the storylines, the actual wrestling I just pick up on. Nice of Serrano not to ignore our mocking "How you like that?!" yells at him. And I'd go through the millions...and MILLIONS (sorry) of the chants and other things we yelled/chanted at Byron but its getting late for me. Spanish Stew (Dinn T. Moore & "El Vato" Jose Guerrero) beat The All-Stars (Chandler McClure and Bryce Benjamin) Awwww yeah, its Spanish Stew! The name replicated by some, feared by others, but never duplicated. If there's one thing I still don't get is those who tell me that it really shouldn't be "Spanish" Stew...it should be Mexican Stew. We all can agree that Din T Moore= Stew...Jose is a what though folks? Mexican! Good...now what do Mexican's speak? No...not incomphenable gibberish...SPANISH. I could careless either way, just as long as the name does its purpose: get them over. Which I might add is doing, as even though we had a pretty new (and lets face it, silent) crowd, you could always hear those Spanish Stew chants, a few times I didn't even have to chant it at all. I also saw Jose chanting it...which makes me click my heels to see my dubbed name played into action. Mom adds that she is happy that Dinty bought new and matching socks. I know, its horrible, she even critques there socks...funny how Bryce lost his cheerleader's outfit too...someone took me up on my lose the outfit, lose the fag chant". I think the Stew really needs some sort of tag finsher...I couldn't even begin to tell you what move, but give me a few days and I'll have a name for it. Chandler's ref gimmick still entertains me..minus the whistle. Dysfunction beat Chris Jordan to win the ACW title Awesome wrestling from these too, again I couldn't be more impressed with ACW-NWA's overall product when comparing it to my 1st show, Kickoff Karnage in September...not that it wasn't good, just the stuff going on right now, all aspects totally blows the 1st show I saw away. Part of me still wants to chant F you Dys complete with middle finger, but considering the new crowd, new venue, and my mother less then 1 chair away from me, it didn't seem like a good idea. The biggest shocker? Dys wins the belt! Just when I even slightly think I can predict the card, I end up being almost completly wrong. The Dynasty enjoys some grape juice...err...whine...ah...wine! Thats the one. Thanks again Dys for spitting it at us, my Mom now thinks your gross. As to quote my Mom: "EWWW! He just spit! Spitting is gross!". Dys also gets the honors along with Hills as the only 2 who have sucessfully fired back a comeback as to which I can only scrape up an mediocre reply too. Eric Priest won the NWA-Wisconsin title from Horace the Psychopath One thing I did predict silently to Dan was that Horace would lose...not that I wanted him to as my mark side, but the other side figured that seeing how he's always been the champ since I started watching, eventually now would be the time as NWA needs some gold to be considered an actual threat. No doubt Priest was the excellent choice for the new champ, he too has impressed me since I started watching him. Horace also remains as my favorite face singles wrestler, his charcter is so unique that there's nothing to not like. He mentioned seeing Twinkies as he was lying on the ground after the match, and team ACW comes to pick him up...Horace decides to rib them all and pick himself up via his team mates croches...I got a pic of it which I'll post later. So there it is, the Sturgeon View 3. Proabably one of the worse reviews you'll read but hopefully one you'll atleast laugh a few times throughout. Thanks for reading, and unless my opressors at Hardee's prevent me from doing so, I'll try writting a preview of the March Mayhem card soon. My only complaint about the Mayhem card thus far: WHERE THE HELL IS SPANISH STEW?!
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