Saturday Night Slam 7-13-02
Fireworks explode as the crowd anticipates what promised to be a fantastic Saturday Night Slam. Highlights of Tuesday Night Thrashing plays and that gets the crowd even more pumped up.
Umberto: Hello fans and welcome to Saturday Night Slam, we have an incredible card on tap for you tonight. We have 2 titles on the line as Pink defends his title vs Sweetness and in a massive 5 way elimination match Hitman defends vs Enrique, Randy Tony, Chasm, and Hector. That one should be an epic battle. And let's not forget about World Champ Nic O Time in action vs Raistlin.
Lou: You aren't kidding Umberto this card is one of the best we've seen since the inception of the HAW. I can't wait. I have word that Harry Carey is backstage waiting for a special interview.
Harry: Hallo fans ole Harry's here to give you a little insight backstage here. I'm standing back here with The Crow. Howdy Crow.
Crow: I am a dark bat that swoops down in the middle of the night.
Harry: of course you are. Look Crow has it escaped your mind that you are totally insane, and quite frankly not that great of a wrestler?
Crow: I am a dark bat that swoops down in the middle of the night.
Harry: Holy Cow. You already said that you flamming imbasil. Look I'm trying to get your thoughts on you future in the HAW.
Crow: I am a dark bat that swoops down in the middle of the night.
Harry: Ok that's it.
Harry busts his now empty bottle of budweiser and stabs crow with the broken bottle. Crow goes down in a heap bleeding profusly. Harry proceeds to kick him in the face numerous times.
Harry: Now you're a dark bat with a whole in his heart. Back to you Umberto.
Umberto: Thanks Harry that was a very insightful interview. I am now getting word that Prez Hollywood is coming down to ringside. I have no idea what this is all about.
Give up the funk plays as Prez Hollywood comes down to the ring. The crowd is applauding him, which is a little unusual for a Prez in any federation to get a pop. He enters the ring with microphone in hand.
Hollywood: Hello fans thank you all for coming out. Let me start out by saying there is a change in the matches for tonight. The 5 way elimination match is now a 4 way elimination match with Hector Dragoncox no longer being involved in the match. (the crowd boos) And in another change the match between Raistlin and Nic O Time is no longer, instead its now a 3 way match with Hector Dragoncox being involved now (Crowd cheers wildly) And that's not all now its for the HAW World Championship. (Crowd is going crazy now.)
Nic O Time: What the hell is that all about Prez?
Hollywood: Just looking to give the fans what they want Nic. That's all.
Nic: That's a bunch of crap I wasn't prepared for this match.
Hollywood: you're the champ you should be able to handle it right?
Nic: I can handle it I just don't think I should have to.
Hollywood: Well Nic I guess you're gonna have to show everyone whether you are Champ or Chump.
Umberto: Oh my I can't believe this, this card just keeps getting better and better.
Lou: You aren't kidding now 3 of the titles are on the line. This is insane. Well let's get this show going.
Hello fans and welcome to Saturday Night Slam. We have a great card on store so let's not waste any time. Introducing first weighing in at a combined 511 pounds. The team of Mikey Pain and Jeff Riot. AKA Ego Trip (Song #2 by blur plays and these 2 young superstars come down to the ring. ) And their opponents weighing in at a combined 493 pounds. The team of Drew Miavia and Trojan. (Arials by system of a down plays and out walks Drew Miavia. He walks down to the ring alone. (Jump around by house of pain plays and out walks Trojan. comments from the crowd like "Go play some blues" and "I'm an Irish Morman" can be heard from the crowd. Trojan ignores them and walks down to the ring and joins his partner.
Riot and Drew start out in the ring. Drew starts off by getting riot in a head lock. Riot backs Drew into the ropes and throws Drew into the other side. Riot attempts a clothesline, but Drew ducks it he comes off the other side and nails Riot with a flying forearm. Drew picks up Riot and gives him a swift kick to the chops. Riot goes down. Drew hops up to the top rope and nails a lightning quick moonsault. Drew goes for the cover. 1...2. kickout by Riot. Drew tags in Trojan. Trojan starts going right to work on on Riot. Trojan picks up Riot and slams him down. Trojan puts a boston crab on Riot. Pain gets in the ring to break the hold. Drew comes into the ring and spears Pain. Meanwhile Riot is now in control of Trojan. Riot picks up Trojan and hits a powerslam. Drew picks up Pain and dumps him on the outside of the ring. Drew jumps to the top rope and nails a suicide dive that sends pain over the barrier and into the crowd. Riot picks up Trojan and throws him into the ropes and nails a big clothesline. He goes for the pin. 1.....2.. . kickout. Riot picks up Trojan again. He nails a powerbomb. Drew is landing right hand after right hand on Mikey Pain on the outside of the ring. Riot is calling for his finisher the Crowd Control. He picks up Trojan and nails the Crowd Control. He goes for the cover. 1.....2.... Drew slides back in the ring and breaks up the count. Trojan slides to the outside of the ring and now Drew is working on Riot. He picks him up and slams him down. Drew goes up to the top rope and nails a leg drop from the top. He picks up Riot and throws him into the ropes and does a backflip into the ropes and propels himself and nails Riot with a back elbow. Drew goes back up to the top rope and nails a 5 star frog splash. Drew is calling for his finisher the aerial curve. He nails the move and goes for the cover. 1.....2....3...
Winner of the match. Drew Miavia and Trojan.
Umberto: So far Drew Miavia is proving to be something special, we could be looking at the next superstar in the HAW.
Lou: Yes he is, he didn't get much help there from Trojan who may be living in the past thinking about his previous matches. He needs to realize this is the HAW, this is where the big boys play. I think Trojan has the potential he just needs to focus on the tasks at hand.
Umberto: I agree, I look for Trojan to become something in the HAW just might take some time.
Lou: yep and this team of Ego Trip isn't bad either they just ran into an up and coming superstar in Drew.
Umberto: Let's go to the ring for our next great contest.
Our next match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first weighing in at 203 pounds and standing 6'0. Mephastopheles. (Sweet Tooth by Marlyn Manson plays as out walks Meph. He walks to the ring and the crowd is showing not much of a reaction yet they don't know what to think of this young wrestler.) And his opponent weighing in at 308 pounds and standing 6'8. Genesis. (Eltric plays and out walks Genesis this huge man walks slowly to the ring as the crowd boos him wildly. Genesis shrugs off the boos and keeps his focus squarley on Meph. He steps over the top rope and enters the ring.)
Genesis walks right up to Meph and stand there in his face. Meph is standing there toe to toe with him. Genesis takes a swing and decks Meph. Meph turns back around and nails Genesis with a right hand of his own. Genesis turns around and grabs the neck of Meph and chokeslams him down. Genesis picks up Meph who is nearly out on his feet. Genesis picks up Meph and powerbombs him down. Genesis goes for the quick cover. 1.....2.... kick out by meph. Genesis looks a little frustrated by not finishing off Meph. Genesis picks up Meph and throws him into the turnbuckle. Genesis walks in on Meph and bring up the boot to the throat of Meph. The ref counts and calls for the break. Genesis obligies and lets up. Genesis follows up with a series of knees to the stomach of Meph. Meph falls flat on his face. Genesis picks him back up and looks to be going for a powerslam but Meph wiggles out of it and shoves Genesis into the turnbuckle face first and nails his head on the post. Meph is looking to take advantage and puts the big Genesis in a tazmission. Genesis is gasping for air. Meph really has the hold locked in. Genesis is fighting for the ropes and finally reaches them. Meph breaks the hold and picks up Genesis. Meph hits a taka driver on Genesis and jumps up to the top rope 450 splash. Meph goes for the cover. 1......2 ......kick out by genesis. Meph smacks the mat, he thought he had him. Genesis gets to his feet Meph hits a series of kicks to the mid section then nails a jumping spin kick to the face of Genesis. Meph goes back up to the top rope Genesis staggers to his feet. Meph is waiting for him He leaps off and nails a missle tow drop kick. Mepth goes for the cover once again. 1.....2....kickout by Genesis. Meph can't believe it. He picks up a groggy Genesis and throws him into the ropes and nails a spinning heal kick. Meph picks up Genesis and appears to be setting up Genesis for a tornado ddt. Meph jumps off but as he attempting the ddt portion of the move Genesis gets ahold of Meph and powerbombs him down hard. Genesis is setting him up for the crucifix. He picks up Meph and nails the move. Genesis goes for the cover. 1.....2....3
Winner of the match. Genesis
Umberto: Lou, that was a great match. Meph really fought hard and hit a lot of moves on the big guy, but in the end he just made the one mistake and the veteran Genesis took advantage of it and won the match.
Lou: Yeah Umberto Meph looked good in the match but like you said one mistake and that was all Genesis needed to win the match.
Umberto: Well Lou guess what time it is. Its time for the Title match portion of the program. We have first the Man's Man Championship on the line let's go to the ring.
The next match is an elimination match and is for the Man's Man Championship. Introducing first weighing in at 220 pounds and standing 6'1. Enrique Vasques. (I need a hero by Bonnie Tyler plays as out walks The mexican sensation Enrique Vasques. He is walking out without his normal manager Ruben. He looks very focused on the task at hand. He grabs a microphone and begins to speak
Enrique: Well apparently the board has decided to screw me again, I was very excited to get my shot at Hector Dragoncox but apparently he is no longer in this match instead they change it to a 4 way dance. Well I still am focused on winning the man's man championship but you know what Hector I will not stop until we meet in the ring. Take that to your grave.
Introducing next, weighing in at 357 pounds and standing 7'3. Chasm. (I stand alone by godsmack plays as out walks The Giant Chasm and his manager Big Jim. Chasm walks to the ring slowly. The fans still in awe of this huge monster) Introducing next weighing in at 220 pounds and standing 6'2. Randy Lights Out Tony. (Bring the pain by method man plays as Randy comes down to the ring he gets nice pop from the crowd.) Introducing next the HAW Man's Man Champion. Hitman Burns. (My Generation by Limp plays and Hitman walks down to the ring with the Man's Man title drapped around his shoulder. He gets in the ring and the bell sounds and the match begins.
The 4 men are standing around not sure where to begin. Enrique walks over to Randy Tony and says something to Randy, Rany nods his head and walks over to Chasm. He slaps Chasm upside the face. Chasm has nearly no reaction to this. Meanwhile Enrique says something to Hitman and he nods as well. Chasm takes the slap from Randy and responds with a huge right hand that sends Randy flying. Enrique comes up from behind of the giant Chasm and clips him from behind with an evil dive at his right leg. The giant goes down hard. Hitman joins in and starts kicking the giant Chasm. It appears as if the men have decided to take out the big guy early. Enrique picks up Chasm by the hair Randy walks over and him and Enrique pick up the moster and nails a stalling suplex. Hitman puts Chasm in a figure 4. meanwhile Randy and Enrique are stomping on the face of Chasm. Chasm is writhing in pain. hitman releases the hold. Chasm gets to his feet but is clearly in a ton of pain. Randy sets up Chasm over by the corner and it looks like Enrique is going for the dirty sanchez he hops up on the top rope and nails the move. Hitman picks up Chasm it appears as if they aren't done with the big guy who has no shot against 3 men. Hitman and Tony pickup Chasm and they nail a facebuster on Chasm. Randy puts Chasm in the Cocoon of Horror. Chasm is tapping out. Chasm has been eliminated from the match. The 3 men now looking at each other not sure what to do after working together on Chasm. finally Enrique runs at Hitman and spears him. Enrique lands on top of him and starts nailing him with right hands. Randy grabs ahold of Enrique by his long greasy hair and pulls him off of Hitman and Randy begins pounding on the face of Enrique. Enrique finally knocks off Randy and Hitman is now to his feet. Hitman goes to run off the ropes but Randy pulls the top rope down and Hitman goes flying outside the ring. Enrique runs over at Randy and nails a big clothesline. Enrique picks up Randy and nails a suplex. Hitman is buying time outside the ring allowing Enrique and Randy to fight each other in the ring. Enrique picks up Randy and throws him into the turnbuckle. Enrique runs in but Randy catches him with a big boot to the face. Randy rolls up Enrique for the pin 1......2.... kick out by Enrique. Randy picks up Enrique and nails a military press on Enrique. Randy picks up Enrique and dumps him to the outside of the ring. He goes out with Enrique but doesn't see Hitman waiting there with his Championship belt in hand. Hitman runs at Randy and decks him with the belt. Enrique sees Hitman waiting there with the title and proceeds to nail Hitman with a cheap shot to the nuts of Hitman. Hitman drops the belt. Enrique picks up Randy who is bleeding slightly from the back of the head from the shot from Hitman. Enrique picks up Randy and nails a fisherman suplex. 1....2....kick out by Randy. Enrique throws Randy into the turnbuckle with a ton of force and randy hits hard and goes down. Enrique goes over and rolls him up. He puts his feet on the ropes to give him the leverage he needs. 1......2.....3.. Randy is eliminated. Its down to Enrique and Hitman. Hitman slides in the ring and attacks Enrique who is a little winded after finishing off Randy. Hitmand is nailing a series of right hands on Enrique. Enrique finally goes down to the mat after receiving his tenth right hand. Enrique is rolls to the outside of the ring he is trying to collect his thoughts. Hitman isn't going to wait for him. He goes to the outside and these 2 men are trading punches on the outside. Enrique grabs Hitman by the tights and pulls him into the ring post. Hitman hits hard. Enrique grabs Hitman and throws him in the ring. Enrique puts Hitman in a surfboard. Hitman is whaling in pain. Enrique finally lets up the hold he is calling for the dirty sanchez again. He hits the move on Hitman. Enrique goes for the cover. 1......2.....from out of no where Ruben comes up and nails Enrique with a lead pipe. Enrique is out cold. Ruben rolls Hitman on top of Enrique 1.....2.....3.
Winner of the match and still HAW Man's Man Champion. Hitman Burns.
Umberto: That was one of the best matches we've seen here in the HAW. What in the world was Ruben doing coming to the ring and nailing Enrique with that pipe.
Lou: That's a good question. I have no idea maybe Harry can catch up with him and find out.
Umberto: But Ruben's a monkey how is he going to understand him?
Lou: Harry's a jack of all trades he'll find a way.
Umberto: Well sure enough Harry has Ruben backstage.
Harry: Hey there Ruben what the hell were you doing nailing your friend Enrique with that pipe?
Ruben: eiiiieiii eiii eiiiie ii eii ei eii eii
Harry: Holy Cow Ruben you're jealous cause Enrique went on all these shows without you. That's kind of petty don't you think.
Ruben: ei eii eii eii
harry: I don't know Ruben I think Enrique has earned everything he's gotten I don't know how big of a factor you've been.
Ruben: ei eii
Harry: Holy Cow big words from a little monkey.
Umberto: I just don't get it, I don't know why Ruben would cost Enrique the match. But fact of the matter is Hitman is still The HAW Man's Man Champion.
Lou: you're right Hitman still has that title. Well you know Umberto its time for the cage match for the Bad Ass Championship this one promises to be great.
The next match is a Cage match and is for the HAW Bad Ass Championship. Introducing first the challenger weighing in at 212 pounds. Sweetness. (Sweetness by Jimmy Eats World plays as out walks Sweetness accompanied by Elana. He looks focused on the task at hand and he better be this is a dangerous match he is looking at.) And his opponent the HAW Bad Ass Champion. Mr. Pink. (Run like hell plays as Mr. Pink comes down to the ring. He also looks focused on this match at hand it should be a great match.)
Mr. Pink steps in the cage and the door is closed behind him. Sweetness attacks Pink. Pink sees it coming and nails a drop toe hold. Pink follows that up with a headlock. Sweetness fights out of the hold. Pink nails Sweetness with a huge knee lift to the face of Sweetness. Pink picks up Sweetness and drives him hard into the cold steel cage. Pink picks up Sweetness again and takes him over to the cage again he places his face on the cage and runs it along the steel burning the face of Sweetness. Sweetness goes down holding his face. He is bleeding profusely from his face with multiple cuts on his face. Pink picks up Sweetness with a huge smirk on his face. He lifts up Sweetness and nails a DVD Driver. Pink picks up Sweetness and nails a pile driver Sweetness is really looking bad now. Pink starts to climb the cage. He is about half way up. Sweetness gets to his feet he jumps up on the cage and grabs pink by the leg. Pink is kicking at him to knock him off. but Sweetness grabs ahold of his other foot and leaps off the cage holding onto Pinks feet and the force pulls pink off the cage and he nails the mat face first. Sweetness is also hurt by this move as it was a tremendous fall for both of them. Sweetness finally gets to his feet covered in blood still. He picks up Pink and nails a back suplex. Sweetness goes over to the cage door. He takes the chain off the door and looks to be opening the dorr. Pink sees this and dives over at him and pulls him away from the door. Pink gets to his feet and nails a huge right hand. Sweetness drops the chain to the ground as he hits the deck. Pink picks up the chain and is measuring Sweetness with it. Sweetness gets up and turns around and blocks the attempted punch with the chain. Sweetness nails pink with a right hand of his own. Sweetness picks up Pink and slams him down Pink lands hard on his right hand that is wrapped by the chain he appears to be in a lot of pain from that. Sweetness grabs the chain and rips it off the hand of Pink. Sweetness wraps it on his hand and waits for pink to get up. Sweetness takes a huge swing and nails Pink with the chain. Pink is busted wide open above his left eye. Sweetness goes over to the cage door. he looks to be on his way out. Here comes Genesis down to the ring he takes the cage door and nails Sweetness with it. Sweetness goes down. Genesis sets up his head in the path of the door and smashes it in the door again. Genesis pulls out another chain with a pad lock and locks up the cage. Pink is now up to his feet and nails a spear on Sweetness. The ring is a bloody mess right now as both wrestlers are pouring blood from their face. Pink picks up Sweetness throws him hard into the cage. Pink starts climbing the cage. he is straddling the top of the cage Sweetness has gotten up and is climbing the cage as well he is now even with pink and both men are straddling the cage. Sweetness nails a huge right hand Pink counters with one of his own. They are trading punches on the top of the cage. Pink starts to try and stand up Sweetness nails him with a right hand this knocks Pink off the cage but Sweetness hit him the wrong way and pink fall off the cage and out on the floor on the outside of the ring. Pink wins the match. Sweetness is holding his head knowing he made a costly mistake.
Umberto: Oh my god both these men beat the hell out of each other that was an insane match. Pink took a horrid fall.
Lou: you're not kidding that was a massive fall for Pink let's hope he's ok. Let's not forget that Sweetness would have won this match had Genesis not come down to the ring and stopped him from walking out of the cage.
Umberto: That was a classic match I expect to see that one on ESPN Classic as an instant Classic. Well folks the main event is here the HAW World title on the line as Nic O Time defends against Raistlin and now Hector Dragoncox.
The next match is for the HAW World Championship introducing first weighing in at 350 pounds and standing 7'1. Raistlin. (one step closer by linkin park plays as Raistlin comes down to the ring. The big man walks slowly to the ring.) Introducing next weighing in at 285 pounds and stading 6'8. Hector Dragoncox. (Sexual Healing plays as out walks Hector along with his horde of women. Hector looks really loose for this match very unusual for a World Championship match.) Now introducing the HAW World Champion weighing in at 275 pounds and stading 6'6. Nic O Time.(Asshole plays and out walks Nic O Time carrying the World title belt.)
Raistlin starts off the match by attacking Nic. Raistlin nails Nic with right hand after right hand. Hector walks over to Raistlin and grabs him on the shoulder and turns him. Hector stares at him and they both turn towards Nic and start pounding on Nic. They are teaming up on the World Champion. They pick up Nic and hit a double suplex. Nic rolls outside the ring to try and get some time to recover. but Hector doesn't allow that he goes out and tosses Nic back in the ring to a waiting Raistlin. Raistling grabs Nic by the throat and chokeslams him down hard. Raistlin goes for the pin...1.....2.. hector breaks up the count and just stares at Raistlin. they turn their attention back to Nic. Raistlin picks up Nic and puts him in a powerbomb situation. hector is standing nearby to help get more power behind it. They slam Nic down hard. Hector goes for the pin 1.....Raistlin breaks the count and grabs Hector asking him what's going on. Hector shrugs his shoulders and decks Nic again with a huge right hand. Hector picks up Nic and throws him into the turnbuckle. Raistlin flings Hector into the corner to add more speed and power, but Nic ducks out of the way and Hector goes flying outside of the ring. Nic takes a run at a surprised Raistlin and nails a spear. Nic picks up Raistlin and dumps him on the outside of the ring as well. All of a sudden Enrique Vasques comes down to the ring. He gets the attention of the ref. He is talking to the ref, Nic is a little disturbed by the appearance of Enrique and goes over to give him a piece of his mind. The ref grabs Nic and pushes him back and tells Enrique to get out of here. Enrique jumps down from the apron. He turns around and is nailed by Raistlin. Enrique staggers to his feet and throws some kind of powder in the face of Raistlin. He is blinded by the dust. Enrique goes over to hector and throws him in the ring. Randy Tony is now coming to the ring. He gets in the ring and grabs the ref and shows him the blinded Raistlin but the ref is saying he didn't see anything. Enrique now has the World Title belt. He grabs it and enters the ring and squares off at Hector he is getting ready to nail him Nic O time is standing next to him. Enrique fakes a swing at Hector and then nails Nic with the belt. Nic goes down in a heap. Hector doesn't know what to think about that, but goes and covers him. Enrique exits the ring and Randy tony now lets the ref get his attention back. The ref counts 1......2.....3.. New Champion.
Winner of the match and New HAW world champion. Hector Dragoncox
Enrique: Look Hector I bet you are wondering why myself and Randy our out here, well its simple we both have a beef with you and we decided that since you got your shot at the title we would help you get that title, so when we get in the ring we have a shot at that title.
Randy: that's right Hector you didn't really think we were doing this for you did you. Not a chance me and ole mexican grease ball here put our differences aside for a few minutes and came up with this plan. So on Tuesday Night we want a shot at that title. A three way dance on tuesday show the people you really deserve that title.
Hector: you dirty pieces of crap well you want your shot you got it.
Umberto: Wow what an event this was an insane night on saturday night slam.. Goodnight folks..
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