Saturday Night Slam 6-22-02
Fireworks explode as the fans yell in anticipation of the first ever Saturday night slam. The emotions are riding high as the camera pans to the back and we see the stars of the HAW with obvious nerves wanting to put on a great show for the fans.
Umberto: Hello fans my name is Umberto Parerra and I would like to welcome you to the first ever Saturday night slam. We have a long list of great matches in store for you tonight. Let me first introduce you to my tag team partner Lou Ballack.
Lou: Hello Umberto, tonight should be one hell of a battle as we have some of the biggest names in wrestler on tonight's program. We have Krillin Kage taking on Zaz Tiger in what promises to be a great match.
Umberto: Yes indeed Stan, these two will go at each other with everything they have. We also have on tap tonight Hades vs Carlos Sanka. Lou, Carlos has been telling everyone around that he is going to give Hades the Grande Moca Latte. What do you think about this prediction?
Lou: Well Umberto, I think Carlos is a lot of talk and he better not take Hades lightly or he will be in for an old fashion ass kickin.
Umberto: I agree Lou, we also have another member of the Coffee House of Pain in action Juan Valdez takes on Genesis. Lou, this is a massive mismatch in favor of Genesis. Does Juan have any chance.
Lou: Well Umberto, you know anything can happen in wrestling so we'll have to wait and see but Juan definitely is the underdog. The match that intrigues me is the Sweetness vs Star Bucks match. This should be a great contest.
Umberto: I agree Lou, Sweetness is a wrestler with a lot of promise, but you can't count out the wealthy Star Bucks. In the main event we have Randy "Lights out" Tony vs RWB Warrior. This match is going to be a great match folks. Well folks without further adieu let's go to the ring announcer for our first match.
Ring Announcer: Welcome everyone to Saturday night slam. Our first contest of the night is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first weighing in at 255 pounds Carlos Sanka. (She bangs by Ricky martin plays as Carlos Sanka comes down to the ring accompanied by his manager Mr. Coffee. Carlos enters the ring and grabs the mic
Carlos: All you people shut up, I am going to show this Hades guy what its like to be a single coffee bean, I'm gonna grind you and and broil you and then hit you with the Grande Moca Latte and that will be the end of you....
(funeral march type bells ring) Suddenly the lights go out, and the barking of dogs can be heard. In the entranceway is the silhouette of a man standing next to a dog, which seems to have more than one head. The light behind the silhouette goes out, and after a few seconds, all lights go back on. In the middle of the ring, Hades is standing ready)
Ring Announcer: And his opponent weighing in at 240 pounds Hades.
Hades starts out on the offensive by whaling on Carlos with huge right hands, he drives him back into the corner. Carlos ducks down to his knees and the ref calls for the break. Carlos calls the ref over and tells him Hades pulled his hair. The ref admonishes Hades, to the disapproval of the fans. They start up a Carlos sucks chant. They lock up in the middle of the ring. Hades throws Carlos into the ropes, and catches him with a knee to the mid-section. Hades goes directly for his legs and puts Carlos in a half crab. Carlos struggles for the ropes and finally makes it and the ref calls for a break. Carlos gets up and dusts himself off. They go in for another hook up but Carlos sneaks a kick in on Hades. Carlos picks up Hades and body slams him hard to the mat. Hades gets up and Carlos catches him with a hard chop to the chest. He hits him with another that drives Hades back into the corner. Carlos ties up Hades and the ref comes in for the break. Mr. Coffee comes over and nails the fallen Hades in the face with a powerful right hand while the ref has his back turned. Carlos goes back over to Hades. He picks him up he throws him into the other turnbuckle and follows it in with a powerful clothesline.
Umberto: Things are not looking good Hades so far Lou.
Lou: no they definitely aren't, he better start to pick it up or he's in for a long night
Carlos goes over to Hades and picks him up he tries to throw him into the ropes but Hades reverses it and throws Carlos into the ropes. Hades attempts a clothesline but Carlos ducks it Carlos comes off the other side and is hit with a huge drop kick from Hades. This sends Carlos flying and he drags himself outside the ring. Carlos gathers himself and gets back in the ring. Hades wastes no time and goes back on the offensive he picks up Carlos and hits a standing suplex. Hades goes over to the feet of Carlos and puts in the figure 4 leg lock. Carlos is screaming in pain. The ref asks if he gives up but Carlos says no. He is attempting to reverse it he almost has him turned but Hades applies more pressure onto the legs of Carlos. Carlos is now struggling over to the ropes, he is almost there and finally reaches them, but the damage has been done. Hades picks up Carlos and hits a devastating Power bomb. Carlos is looking very woozy. Hades goes for the pin 1...2.. kick out by Carlos. Hades picks up Carlos by the hair. Hades picks up Carlos and pile drives him hard to the mat. Hades signals the crowd he is going for his finisher the Corkscrew. Mr. Coffee comes up to the ring apron Hades sees him coming and comes over and hits him with a big right hand that sends him flying. Hades picks up Carlos and puts him on the top rope he is going for the Corkscrew he picks him up and slams him into the mat. Hades goes for the pins. 1..2..3...
The winner of the match is Hades.
Umberto: Pretty impressive victory for Hades in his debut. Carlos put up a good fight but just didn't have it in the end.
Lou: Hades looked very good tonight. I think his future in the HAW is very bright.
Umberto: In our next match we have Sweetness taking on the diva of the HAW Star Bucks.
Lou: Yeah Star Bucks is a diva but he shouldn't be taken lightly, he is a threat.
Ring announcer: Our next match is scheduled for one fall introducing first weighing in at 212 pounds Sweetness. (Sweetness-Jimmy Eat world plays as Sweetness makes his way down to the ring accompanied by his manager Elana.) And his opponent weighing in at 200 pounds Star Bucks. (She bangs plays as Star Bucks comes down to the ring accompanied by his manager Cappi the cappicino)
Star Bucks gets right in sweetness' face and slaps him across his eye. Sweetness takes it and throws a big right hand that sends Bucks flying. Star Bucks, gets up and challenges sweetness to a test of strength. Sweetness gladly accepts and immediately gains an advantage sending Star Bucks to his knees. Star Bucks makes his way to his feet and tries to muster up the strength to counter but just can't do it, so he kicks Sweetness in the stomach. Sweetness buckles down to a knee. Star bucks moves in on Sweetness but sweetness takes out the legs of star bucks. Sweetness kips up he picks up Star bucks and throws him into the ropes and hits a powerful spine buster. Sweetness runs over to the ropes and hops up and jumps off and attempts a leg drop from the top and connects with it. He goes for the cover. 1...2... kick out by star bucks. Sweetness really looks aggressive here he picks up star bucks and slams him to the ground. Sweetness runs off the ropes and hits a rolling splash. Sweetness picks up Star Bucks and throws him into the corner. Sweetness tries to follow him in but Star Bucks catches him with a back elbow. Star bucks grabs Sweetness by the head and slams it into the mat repeatedly until the ref calls for the break. Star bucks grabs Sweetness takes a step back and hits a huge back kick. Star Bucks goes for the cover. 1...2... kick out by sweetness, star bucks goes over to protest to the ref about a slow count but the ref wants to hear nothing about it. Sweetness takes advantage of this break and comes up from behind and connects with a big back German suplex. Star bucks rolls outside the ring. Sweetness urges him to get back in. Star bucks grabs sweetness by the leg and pulls him outside the ring. Star bucks throws sweetness into the steel steps. sweetness is really hurting now. Star Bucks goes over to sweetness and picks him up and drops him on his neck over the barricade. Star bucks picks up Sweetness and throws him in the ring. Star Bucks goes for the cover. 1....2.. kick out Star Bucks is irate. He can't believe he didn't finish him off. Sweetness takes advantage again of Star Buck's lack of concentration. Sweetness hits him with a clothesline to the back of the head. Sweetness jumps up to the top rope he waits for Star Bucks to get up and hits a missile drop kick. Sweetness calls for the sweet bomb. He jumps up to the top and and again waits for Star Bucks to get up and he leaps off with a back flip and nails the Sweet bomb. He goes for the cover. 1...2...3...
The winner of the match is Sweetness.
Umberto: What a match that was very impressive. Both men gave their all. Star Bucks just gave the ref too much lip and it cost him.
Lou: Yep Umberto the diva did it to himself again. He cost himself the match. Better luck next time Star Bucks, maybe cappi should teach this guy some focus.
Umberto: Let's go back stage and see what's happening back there. Let's go to Harry Carry
Harry: Hello fans, Harry Carry with ya, I'm back here in the back having an ice buudweiser with my good friend The Crow. Crow how's it hanging.
Crow: Man Harry let me tell you this bud tastes great. I think I’ll have another.
Harry: Harry says toss me another one while you're over there.
Warpath comes charging into the room with a chair he nails The Crow over the head with the chair. Warpath picks crow up and sets him up for another chair shot this one absolutely destroys Crow and busts him wide open. Warpath puts the chair down and picks up Crow and gets in his face
Warpath: Tuesday night I want you in the ring. I won't take no for an answer you turn me down you can look forward to this every night.
(warpath leaves the room)
Harry: Well all be damned I can't believe that. Ah well more beer for me. Back to you Umberto.
Umberto: Thanks for the report Harry.
Lou: Man what has gotten into warpath. He just snapped on Crow, this has the potential of being a very chaotic situation between these 2 superstars.
Ring Announcer: The Next match is scheduled for 1 fall introducing first Juan Valdez (She bangs plays as Juan Valdez comes down to the accompanied by Senoir Donkey.) The crowd doesn’t quite know what to think of the donkey coming to the ring. And his opponent Genesis(eltric by white zombie plays as Genesis comes down to the ring.
Juan Valdez, starts out like a house of fire. He attacks Genesis with multiple left and right combinations. Genesis staggers backwards into the corner. Juan follows genesis in. He hits genesis with a serious of chops. Genesis falls down to one knee. Juan turns around and taunts the crowd. Genesis gets up and gets right up behind Juan. Juan turns around and is decked by a massive right hand by Genesis. Juan falls in a heap. Genesis picks up Juan and connects with a head butt. Genesis picks up Juan again and throws him into the corner. Genesis walks over to Juan and puts him on the top rope. Genesis climbs the top rope and nails Juan with a power bomb off the top rope. Juan is in serious trouble out there. He rolls outside the ring. He lands in some of Senoir Donkey’s droppings. Genesis is standing in the ring laughing at Juan. Juan is extremely upset with donkey, donkey is a little embarrassed by the whole situation. Genesis has finally had enough and is now outside the ring he grabs Juan and throws him into the guardrail. Juan flips over the rail. Genesis climbs over and grabs Juan and Suplex’s him over the rail onto the concrete. Genesis throws Juan into the ring. Genesis is calling for the crucifix. He picks up Juan over his head and brings him hard into the mat. Juan is out cold. Genesis goes for the cover. 1…..2…..3
Umberto: Wow now that was impressive on the part of Genesis, he really laid it on Juan.
Lou: I am speechless. That was a massacre. And to add insult to injury Juan landed into Donkey crap.
Umberto: Well on that note. Let’s go to our next match. Krillin Kage vs Zaz Tiger. This is going to be a great match up.
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Lou: Yes it will I’ve been looking forward to this one.
Ring Announcer: Our next match is scheduled for 1 fall introducing first weighing in at 350 pounds. (one step closer by linkin park plays as Krillin walks down to the ring. He walks slowly down to the ring. The fans in awe of the size of this monster. And his opponent weighing in at 257 pounds Zaz Tiger. (Red Devil by undertaker)
Kage and Zaz start the match with a classic stare down. Neither man seems to be phased. Suddenly Zaz puts up his hand to signal a contest of strength. Krillin just laughs it off, and puts the boots to him immediately. Zaz is obviously over powered by the behemoth Kage. Kage goes for an early pin, but Zaz kicks out immediately. Tiger goes for a dropkick, but Krillin was expecting it, and just throws his legs to the ground. Zaz charges at him at full speed, but is met by the massive boot of Kage. Krillin picks him up and nails a suplex on him. Zaz is really feeling the effect of the suplex. Krillin picks him up once again, and puts a bear hug on him. Zaz seems to be out of it. Krillin lets him fall to the ground, and signals for his finisher. It is time for the Super Choke slam. Zaz stumbles to his feet, and is met by the giant hand of Kage. He lifts Zaz to the sky, and pounds him to the canvas. The crowd erupts in a huge Ooooooooooooh. Krillin goes for the pin. 1….2….3
Umberto: Man that was a total domination of a match. Krillin just beat the living crap of him.
Lou: I can’t believe that, Zaz just didn’t have it tonight.
Umberto: Let’s go onto the main event for tonight.
The next match is the main event and is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first weighing in at 220 pounds. Randy “Lights Out” Tony. (bring the pain by method man plays as randy walks down to the ring. And his opponent weighing in at 255 pounds. RWB Warrior (Real American plays as warrior walks down to the ring he is waving the American flag. He stops and greets some of the fans down at ringside.
Tony starts out by circling warrior. Finally they lock up. Warrior throws Tony to the ground. Tony gets up and has a look like that really didn’t happen on his face. Tony dances around warrior a little and they lock up again. Warrior backs him into the corner the ref calls for a break, but as warrior backs away Tony gives him an eye gouge. Tony moves in on warrior and suplex’s him down hard. Tony puts warrior in a headlock. Tony continues to put pressure on warrior he looks to be about out. The ref picks up warrior’s hand it falls 1. The ref picks it up again and it falls 2. One more and the warrior is out. The ref picks up the warrior’s hand again it falls..no he stops it warrior has a surge of adrenaline. He elbows Tony in the ribs. It knocks Tony off of him. Warrior runs into the ropes and hits a big clothesline. Warrior picks up Tony and hits a running power slam. The crowd is going nuts. Warrior throws Tony off the ropes and hits a scoop slam. Warrior really has it going now. Warrior locks in a figure 4 on Tony. Tony is in massive pain. He is struggling closer to the ropes. He finally reaches them. The ref breaks the hold. Warrior picks up randy who is noticeably limping, he hits a spine buster on Tony. Warrior goes for the pin. 1…2 Tony kicks out. Warrior throws Tony off the ropes he attempts a clothesline but Tony ducks it and comes off the other side and connects a flying forearm. Tony now has the momentum. Tony picks up warrior and suplex’s him down. Tony waits for the warrior to get up and throws him outside the ring. Tony follows in behind him he takes the warriors head and pings it off the ring post. The warrior is bloody from that shot. Tony clears the monitor’s off the Japanese announce table. He picks up warrior and put him on the table. Tony picks him up and pile drives him through the announce table. Tony picks up warrior and throws him into the ring. Tony goes for the cover. 1…2…kick out by the warrior. Tony really thought he had him there. Tony throws warrior into the ropes and hits a clothesline. Warrior looks out of it. Tony goes in for the attack he picks up Warrior and power slam’s warrior down. Tony goes up to the top rope. He attempts a leg drop from the top rope, but warrior moves out of the way. Warrior picks up Tony and throws him into the corner. Warrior goes over and climbs up the top rope and begins to punch Tony in the face 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10 Tony falls flat on his face. Warrior goes for the cover. 1….2…..kick out just barely by Tony. Warrior can’t believe it. He thought he had the win. Warrior picks up Tony he sets him up for the star spangled slam. Tony counters it with a neck breaker. Hector has come down to the ring. He isn’t involved in the match but his presence has caught the attention of Tony. Tony looks over at Hector and asks him what he’s doing here. Hector comes in right up on the apron. Tony tells him to get lost. Warrior has gotten to his feet and looks over at the distracted Tony. Warrior goes over and goes for the star spangled slam. He hits it. Hector walks away laughing. Warrior goes for the pin 1…2….3 .
The winner of the match RWB Warrior
Umberto: wow what an amazing turn of events.
Warrior: Tony I told you I was going to beat goodness into and I’ve done it. I hope now you’ll realize what being a good person can do for you. (warrior drops the mic and walks out of the ring)
Lou: Wow what an amazing night of matches. I can’t wait until Tuesday for thrashing it should be a great event.
Umberto: Thanks for tuning in everyone. We’ll see you on Tuesday.
