Understand Her
Chapter 1
Her eyes
slowly opened as she found herself in the pitch black room…it was a cell…just a
regular 8 x 8 cell…Nothing spectacular. She’d
found herself in this particular moment on several occasions mostly mornings,
when she was first waking up.
The smell was
the worst thing…kind of a cross between an old building and urine. Of course it would help if the janitorial
staff was allowed to come in the cells to clean their personal toilets.
As she sat up
and stretched her tired body…She looked down at the scars across her
wrists. Nothing in life made sense when
she made those scars…Somehow nothing in life still made sense. She wasn’t happy or sad…Hell she wasn’t even
mad that her own family had turned against her and thrown her into this
disgusting place and left her there since she was 16.
She couldn’t
imagine what life on the outside was like anymore…Her family stopped coming around
for visits after the first year. Her
waist length brunette hair was ratty and full of knots…No matter how many times
she combed it…It always looked the same…Like she had 16 rat families living in
it.
She pulled
herself from the metal bed that had just a basic foam mattress on it…Nothing
with springs or shit so she couldn’t hurt herself…Like she could really do that
much damage to herself…Her family had done most of it to her…Why kill yourself
when your loved ones can do it for you…
She’d spent the
last 10 years of her life in this place...No window cell, a metal bed that was
attacked to the wall with a foam mattress with a sheet that was washed once a
month…and a nasty pillow from like the 1900’s when the place first opened up. All she could really do was be thankful she
was still alive and that they chose NOT to do shock therapy on people anymore.
She’d grown up
a lot in the last 10 years…but of course when your 16 and you’re placed in a
place like this…you don’t really have anything better to do then grow up. Not many people could grow up and live to
tell about having lived 10 years of their life in the Worcester State
Hospital. It was one of the oldest still
fully functional asylums around…
Well except
for the west wing which had been destroyed by a fire in the early 1990’s when a
patient went completely insane and lit herself on fire and then ran around
screaming at the top of her lungs as she hugged various patients catching them
on fire as well…Not many people lived through that…nearly all the patients and
workers perished in that fire. She could
still remember the smell of burnt flesh sliding through the hospitals
ventilation system and into every room in the rest of the hospital. She could hear the screams for hours. Until the fire was either put out or the
people just died.
Alyssa pulled
her cotton nightgown off over her head and looked down at her naked body…It had
been so long since she’d actually worn panties and a bra…they’d feel foreign to
her now. She just shrugged her shoulders
and pulled on the cotton pants and t-shirt…then sat down and got her socks and
slippers on. Nothing with shoelaces, no
bras or panties for fear of someone trying to strangle themselves with the
articles of clothing.
She couldn’t
believe she was going to be 26 years old in a few days…She couldn’t remember
what it was like to have birthdays.
She’d been in this stupid place for so long she forgot how to live…
She’d
forgotten how to do a lot of things.
Chapter 2
It was 5 days
after Alyssa’s 26th birthday when she was told they were going to
release her back into her parents care.
Alyssa was trying to figure out why, considering she was an adult and 26
now…Of course that whole not having a job or an education would be a big factor
in her life right now.
*****************************
I'm leavin
today
Living it, leaving it to
change
Slowly drifting into a
peaceful breeze
Tongue tied and twisted are all my memories
Celebrating a fantasy come true
Packing all my bags
Finally on the move
I'm leavin today
I'm living it, Oh I'm leaving it to change
*****************************
The staff at
Worcester State Hospital took her measurements and sizes and gave them to her
parents and when they came to pick her up were to bring her a change of
clothes. John and Carol drove to
Worcester State Hospital in the SUV in silence.
They’d been divorced for a few years now…but no one had thought to tell
Alyssa…Of course no one even bothered to go visit her, so when exactly were
they supposed to tell her about the divorce?
They pulled
into the long drive way to the hospital and Carol looked at her ex-husband and
said, “Do you think this place has helped her any?” John focused on the road and said, “It must
have if they are finally ready to let her go.”
Their silence spoke volumes as they stopped in front of the Worcester
State Hospital. They walked into the
building with Alyssa’s clothes. Her
sizes hadn’t changed much in 10 years…her legs were a little longer, standing
at 5’9” and she still weight 125 lbs…
As John and
Carol spoke with a doctor on staff and helped them fill out all the proper
paper work and get everything signed and situated, they watched as two big male
orderlies had Alyssa by each of her upper arms and walked her down to the sign
out office…Carol couldn’t believe it was her daughter…She looked
different. Carol gave her daughter a
hug, but released her when she realized Alyssa wasn’t hugging her back and
handed over the bag of clothes.
*****************************
As I'm driving, I'm captured
by the view
So much beauty, the road becomes my muse
The heat is rising, and my hand surfs through the wind
Cool, calm, collective is the child that lies within
See I'm leavin today
I'm living it, oh I'm leaving it to change
See I’m leavin in today
Oh yes, I'm living it, I'm leaving it to change
But somehow I'll miss it
I think I'll really miss it, one day, ooh
I turn up the radio
And I'm feeling like I’ve never felt before
Turn down the memories
Of yesteryears and broken
dreams
I bring, finally free…Ooo
*****************************
Alyssa took
the bag and was allowed in the bathroom to change…She pulled the panties and
bra on and was right it did feel foreign.
But she didn’t really care at this point. She pulled the jeans up her legs and then
pulled the navy blue t-shirt over her head and pulled the zip up hoody on. She slipped her feet into the
sneakers…Wow…Something with laces finally…It was really happening…She was
finally leaving this God forsaken place.
She looked up
and stared at the ceiling and could only pray that anyone who came into this
building after she left could survive for as long as she had. She was so physically and emotionally tired
from being captured there for the last 10 years of her young adult life…She
absolutely couldn’t imagine how her life was going to turn out on the
outside. Alyssa knew this was the only
chance she had to get away from her family…She didn’t want to be part of a
family who just didn’t want her around anymore…
Once she
stepped outside of the building and the clean fresh air came into her lungs it
was like a shot to her whole system.
Fresh air was something you never got in a place like that. The sun was bothering her eyes considering
she’d not seen it in 10 years. A hand
came out with a pair of sunglasses and Alyssa looked over and a soft smile
adorned her mother’s lips as she accepted the glasses and put them on.
*****************************
Slowly drifting into a
peaceful breeze...
Oh yeah! Mmmm
I'm leavin today
Oh yes, I'm living it (oh yeah),
Leaving it to change (to
change)
Oh no, see I believe in today (oh yes)
I'm living it (living it)
Leaving to change (Ohhhh)
I'm leavin today
Living it, leaving to change
Living (to change), leaving to change(oh yeah)
Living it, leaving it
Said I'm living it, I'm
leaving it
Living it, leaving it to change
I'm leaving it to change
But somehow I'll miss it,
I think I'll really miss it
one day
*****************************
Alyssa climbed
into the back seat of the overly large dark blue SUV. After closing the door, she kicked off her
shoes and sat on her feet and just stared out the window…She couldn’t remember
what anything looked like…the color of the grass, the deep blue sky and perfect
billowy white clouds…everything was foreign, but yet new to her eyes. The sunglasses hit the sadness in her eyes as
her parents informed her of them being divorced and she would be living with
one of her 5 brothers.
What a joy…All
she could think was ‘Thank God I’m Free at last.’
Chapter 3
Alyssa stayed
silent the whole trip from Worcester to West Newbury…Alyssa didn’t feel the
need to say much on the ride. All she
could really do was keep thanking God for surviving for as long as she did in
that God awful place. Alyssa shivered as
she wrapped the hoody around her body tighter, trying to think of anything else
but that damn place…Which was next to impossible…10 years was 9 years, 11
months, and 13 days too long to spend in a place like that…much less call it
home.
Every time one
of the male orderlies would molest her or force her to have sex with them, she
prayed to survive one more day…They were relatively gentle with her because she
wasn’t stupid enough to put up a fight.
Some nights were spent praying for the girls down the halls who they
would savagely rape until they started bleeding…Hearing their screams actually
made her thankful that she was smart enough to just let them have what they
wanted and move on.
She could also
thank her lucky stars they’d used condoms when having sex with her…most of the
other girls weren’t as lucky and a couple had gotten pregnant more then a few
times a year. The orderlies would just
slip a 50 dollar bill in the staff doctor’s hand and he’d give the girls an
abortion…any who fought him on it…they ended up getting the crap beaten out of
them so bad they’d end up losing the baby…or were mysteriously shoved down 3 or
4 flights of stairs until they were unconscious and then were taken to the
doctor for the abortion…either way…now or later…It never mattered eventually
the male orderlies got what they wanted.
After the 3
hour ride, the SUV came to a stop in front of a two-story brick home…There was
several cars in the driveway…John, Carol and Alyssa exited the vehicle. They were talking up the brick walk-way, hen
the front door opened and 5 guys came barreling out towards the trio. John and Carol stood in front of Alyssa and
stopped the 5 brothers from going any further and Carol said, “Don’t start off
by scaring her to death.” John said,
“Boys let her get used to you again.”
Carol turned
to Alyssa and put her arm around her waist and was leading her into the
house…She said, “You’re going to be staying with John until we figure out a
more permanent situation…John is barely home now a days because of his career,
and he said you’d feel at home. We got
you about 2 weeks worth of clothes…They are all up in your room; John will show
you where it is. We don’t want to
overwhelm you the first day so we are going to just let you get comfortable and
relax and well see you in a couple of days.”
Alyssa watched
as her parents got back in the SUV and left, leaving her there staring at her 5
brothers. John could see her lips
trembling a little and he couldn’t imagine what she was so afraid of. He obviously had no idea what she’d been
through. John finally stepped up and
said, “C’mon in the house…I’ll show you where your room is.” John walked her up stairs and opened a
door…Alyssa had never seen such a beautiful room in all her life…everything was
deep royal blue or white. John said,
“This is your room…There’s a bathroom adjoined to another room…so be careful if
I bring home guests…Because you’ll have to share the bathroom with them.”
Alyssa just
nodded and John said, “Well…Relax…Shower…Come down and talk with us…Whatever
you feel like.” She nodded again and
John took it as his cue to leave as he closed the door behind him. Alyssa dug through the drawers and found a
t-shirt and some black exercise pants as she peeled off the other clothing and
went in and relaxed in a hot bath.
After she dried
and combing the knots out of her hair she pulled it into a low tail at the base
of her head and she was about to walk down stairs when she heard her brothers
talking. She stopped and leaned against
the wall and just listened.
John rubbed
the back of his neck and said, “Jesus she’s not even herself anymore.” Steve said, “What did you expect John? She’s been gone for 10 years.” Sean said, “No she was locked up in that
fuckin place for 10 years and no one did anything about it…” Matt said, “Yea…There wasn’t much we could
do…Mom and dad just made it sound like she’d lost her mind and needed to get
help.” Dan said, “I knew something was
wrong that night she came home…Her clothes were torn to shreds like she’d been
mauled by a fuckin mountain lion.” Sean
said, “Yea…and when she freaked out they took her to the Emergency room and
sedated her.” John said, “She acts like
she’s been sedated for the last 10 years of her life.”
Steve said,
“That’s because she has been sedated…Maybe not with drugs or sedatives but
she’s been at that God damn hospital for 10 years of her life…She didn’t get
the pleasure of graduating high school with her friends or going to college for
an education…she was basically handed off to people who could take care of
her.” Matt said, “Yea…Fat lot a good
that did her…Look at her…She doesn’t even look like anyone in this family…She’s
so pale…She’d probably not been outside of that hospital for years on end…I
heard about the things that go on in places like that…I can’t imagine what she’s
been through physically much less emotionally.”
John said, “I
can’t stand to see her like that…We should’ve said something to mom a dad years
ago. She shouldn’t have been
there.” Dan said, “What could we have
done?” Steve said, “Nothing that’s what…There
ain’t one of us brave enough to go against mom and dad when they have a united
front between them.” Alyssa had heard
enough as she pushed off the wall and went back to her room where she engulfed
herself in the covers of the soft comfortable bed and cried herself to sleep.
So this is
what freedom felt like?
Chapter 4
After a few
months Alyssa was slowly being re-introduced to the world, to freedom…To a life
without rules and dark rooms or cruel people.
While John was on the road working, Sean, Matt, Steve, and Dan would go
over and re-introduce themselves to their only sister. Alyssa couldn’t believe how much her brothers
had changed…They’d all basically grown up.
Steve was the oldest at 30, Then John at 28, they there was Matt at 24,
Dan at 22 and Sean was the baby at 21.
She almost couldn’t believe how much they’d all matured and changed.
When John was
home he focused all his time and energy on trying to get Alyssa to come out of
her shell. He remembered a time when she
wasn’t quiet, he remembered her running around with him and the others rough
housing and half the time she could kick ass better than anyone of her brothers
no matter how much smaller she was compared to them. John berated himself for thinking Aly was
broken…Her spirit was extremely non-existent.
It was almost as if she was still living in the Worcester State
Hospital…He wanted to go and visit her so many time, but their parents had
insisted on more than one occasion that visitors were not allowed.
It was only
after she was released that he’d found out that visits were encouraged,
especially when he called the hospital to find out…He should’ve thought to do
that sooner…but like his brothers said who was really going to question your
parents? You rely on them to be truthful
through life and then you find out they lied to you for the last 10 years. Even if Aly was broken, the only person who
could fix her…was herself and even then she had to want to be fixed…but judging
by some of her reactions that wasn’t going to happen for a while.
She had just
barely started letting people touch her without jumping out of her skin…The
first time any of her brothers go a hug from her was 3 months after she was
released and then the guys didn’t want to let go of her…They’d all agreed out
of everyone in the family, she always did give the best hugs…I was as if she
was hugging them with her whole heart.
The daring thing was when she actually sat between her brothers during a
movie and would always end up falling asleep on one of them. They were extremely thrilled to finally
getting their sister back…they’d missed her for so long. She was finally home and that felt wonderful.
It had been 6
months since Alyssa had been released.
She was laughing and pushing her brothers around again like when she was
15 or 16. They noticed sometimes she’d
get quiet and keep to herself and they caught that as their clue to just leave
her alone until she came around.
Aly was
sliding around the wooden floors of John’s home while she was dusting and had just
finished vacuuming…John had called earlier and said he was bringing friends
from work home for 3 days…There was no way in hell she was going to let them
see the pig pen her brother lived in…She’d started cleaning a couple of hours
ago and was nearly finished. She had on
black cargo capri’s, a t-shirt that matched them, a black baseball hat of
John’s she’d stolen that said ‘Ruck Fules’ and she’d borrowed his iPod, plus
John had found these Black super fuzzy slippers for girls and it said ‘Queen’
across the top of them.
She heard the
door bell ring over the music as she set the iPod aside and walked over to the
door…She’d ordered about 100 dollars worth of Chinese food, she wasn’t sure how
many people were coming with John, but she wanted to make sure they were well
fed. When she opened the door, she got
the shock of her life when John scoped her up in his arms and hugged her. She couldn’t help but laugh and that was
music to his ears. And the fact that she
hugged back was even better. It meant he
hadn’t scared her.
A few other
people walked into the house one of them carrying the Chinese food she’d
ordered. When John put her down Aly
said, “You didn’t scare the delivery guy again did you?” John laughed and said, “Nah…I promised I
wouldn’t…But damn woman…Do you think you ordered enough?” Aly smiled and said, “All you said was we
were bring home friends, you never mentioned how many. I just wanted to make sure no one left the
dinner table still hungry.” John said,
“Well shit…Everybody better eat all that damn food.”
John said,
“Well everyone this is my little sister Alyssa…Aly the food man there is Matt
Hardy and the dude with the purple hair is his little brother Jeff…Then that’s
David Bautista and his girlfriend Becca and her older brother Randy Orton…Don’t
get those two started…she’s already threaten to shave her brothers head in the
middle of the night tonight.” Alyssa
couldn’t help but laugh at them. She
pointed to the raven haired gentleman and said, “Matt?” He nodded and said, “I can take the food and
set it up.” Matt said, “I don’t
mind…Just point me in the direction or lead the way.” Alyssa said, “Okay…Just leave your bags here
and bell boy Cena will take them to your room and follow me into the kitchen.”
The rest of
the evening went off smoothly…Alyssa really enjoyed meeting her brothers
friends and co-workers…She just liked be around normal human beings for a
change. Oh yea…This was DEFINITELY
freedom.
Chapter 5
A couple of
weeks later John came home from the road.
When he walked in the house Alyssa was sitting on the couch…she was
staring at the TV…She didn’t even have the volume up on it…she was just staring
at it like she was completely lost. John
tossed his bags down and walked over and sat next to her…He reached out and
touched her hand and she looked at him slowly and she blinked and suddenly a
river of tears were sliding down her cheeks, but she wasn’t making a sound.
John said,
“Aly…what’s wrong? Did someone hurt
you?” Aly just nodded as she put her head
down and continued to cry quietly. John
gathered his younger sister in his arms and wrapped her up while she
cried. Once she started to calm down she
stood up and walked into the kitchen and said, “Sorry.” John heard her…It was barely above a whisper.
John followed
her into the kitchen and said, “What’s going on Aly? One minute you’re crying and the next you’re
all calm?” Aly turned around and said,
“Let me ask you a hypothetical question ok?”
John said, “Sure…Go for it. You
can ask me anything you should know that.”
Aly said, “Okay…Say you found someone you loved more than anything in
your life…and you have a bunch of babies with…You wouldn’t love only a couple
and not the rest right?” John said, “No
of course not…I’d love them all equally.”
Aly said,
“Okay…So Let’s say you have 10 kids…You wouldn’t love ONLY 9 of them and not
give a shit about 1 right?” John said,
“Aly where is this coming from…You know me…I love kids…I love my fans who are
kids, I love all my nieces and nephews…How could I not…They are my life
line.” Aly said, “Then why is it Mom and
Dad just absolutely adore you, Matt, Dan, Sean and Steve…but they don’t give a
shit about me?”
John stepped
towards Aly and said, “That’s not true and you know it?” Aly said, “Really John…Do I really know
it? Because if you think about it…Mom
and Dad don’t exactly have a spotless track record when it comes to me…10 years
ago I NEVER needed my parents more then I needed them then…and they just gave
up on me. They tossed me into a friggen
Crazy Fuck House and left me there for 10 years without a second thought. They walked away and left me there to rot.”
John said,
“They were only doing what they thought was best for you.” Aly said, “Don’t you dare defend them for
that…I begged them to just listen to me for two seconds and they thought I was
freaking out…They took me to the hospital and had me sedated…They didn’t even
stop to think maybe something was really wrong with me that night. They just had me locked up like I was some
mental case.” John said, “What do you
want from me Alyssa Marie? Because right
now, I don’t know what to say to you…I know what mom and dad did to you was
extremely fucked up…but there wasn’t anything that any of us could do about
it.”
Aly had huge
tears sliding down her cheeks again and she said, “You could’ve listened…That’s
all I needed…I just wanted someone to listen to me…I tried so hard to tell you
guys what happened that night, and I know I was hysterical…but I don’t know
what you guys expected…I’d just been raped by your God damn high school
football coach John…I was in shock…A man that you looked up to as a second
father had just dragged me into the football locker room and raped me in his
office…And then mom and dad had me locked up at that God Forsaken Insane Asylum
where I was raped repeatedly by all the male orderlies for the next 10 years of
my life.”
John stood
there completely speechless. What could
he say? His little sister had just
confessed everything bad that had happened to her in the last 10 years of her
life…He felt ill…He felt like he was going to just puke up everything he’d
eaten in the last 2 weeks…John stood there motionless and watched as Aly walked
by him and ran up to her room…he heard her slam the door and listened as loud
music vibrated the entire 2nd floor of his home.
*****************************
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Bound at every limb by my
shackles of fear
Sealed with lies through so many tears
Lost from within and pursuing the end
I fight for the chance to be lied to again
You will never be strong enough
You will never be good enough
You were never conceived in love
You will not rise above
They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me
But through my tears breaks a blinding light
Birthing a dawn to this endless night
Arms outstretched, awaiting me
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree
Rest in me and I'll comfort you
I have lived and I died for you
Abide in me and I vow to you
I will never forsake you
They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me
They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Rest in me and I'll comfort
you
I have lived yet died for you
Abide in me and I vow to you
I will never forsake you
They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
Ohhh Oooh Ahhh Oooh Ahhh Ohh
*****************************
John listened
to the words of the song and was suddenly aware that his sister was in extreme
pain constantly since the day his parents had her locked up. The words echoed in his ears as he tried to
open the door, but it was locked, and she’d actually been smart enough to lock
the connecting door in the bathroom. She
just needed time to heal…John started calling around for Therapists…It is the
last thing he did he was going to help Alyssa get over every bad thing that had
occurred in her life.
His second
move of business was to call his brothers over to the house for a family
meeting that excluded their parents…They obviously didn’t care what happened to
Alyssa…John’s third move would be to have him and his brothers pay a visit to
the football coach…who was actually STILL coaching at the school. Seeing him again would be interesting…VERY
interesting.
Chapter 6
Different
month…same old shit. Aly was slightly
withdrawn…John had learned it was just her issues with the way she’d been
treated by their parents and the way she was manhandled at the hospital…Her
therapy sessions had been fully informative and eye opening to John and the
rest of his brothers.
They’d all
decided that if Alyssa was going to go talk to a stranger then every single one
of them were going to go with as her support system. The first couple of visits had Aly in tears
and damn near had all 5 of those grown men ready to join her with the water
works. They couldn’t hardly believe what
she’d been through. At first they
figured she’s have a problem with all of them being there…but once she started
it was almost as if she couldn’t stop.
In one 2 hours appointment she’d detailed the first 4 years of her life
in the hospital.
The therapist
said Aly would be extremely withdrawn on minute and the next feel completely
safe. The therapist also said she was
extremely calm and held together well for someone who was as emotionally and
physically worn down as Alyssa was.
Aly was
sliding around the hardwood floors of her brother’s house as she was dusting
again and listening to his iPod. Dressed
in jeans, a black hooded sweatshirt, and managed to pinch John’s black ‘Ruck
Fules’ baseball hat again. She attacked
the iPod to the stereo and turned the music up loud. Alyssa was dancing to the music; her body
just seemed to move perfectly to the rhythm.
Aly hadn’t seen John for a month…The WWE had gone over sees for the
entire month.
*****************************
Typical, Hollywood type i
fall for
I like when the physical
Don't leave me asking for more
I'm a sexy mama (Mama)
Usually get what i wanna (Wanna)
What I want to do is bring this on ya (On ya)
Back up all of the things that I told ya (Told ya)
You been sayin' all the right things all night long
But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off
Baby, can't you see?
These clothes are fittin' on me
The heat comin' from this beat
I'm about to blow
I don't think you know
I'm tellin' you loosen up my buttons babe (Uh huh)
But you keep frontin' (Uh)
Sayin' what you gonna do to me (Uh huh)
But I ain't seen nothin' (Uh)
*****************************
John opened
the SUV door…He could hear the music all the way outside in the drive way…He
couldn’t imagine what the hell Alyssa was up to…Matt got out and looked over
the hood at John and said, “What in the world?
You think she’s having a party or something?” John looked around and said, “Not with her
car and mine just sitting in the drive way…I dunno.” Matt said, “Well at least she’s got good
taste in music.” John said, “Yea…she
figured out the wonders of the iPod…Actually the wonders of MY iPod.”
David said,
“She’s gonna go deaf.” Becca elbowed
David in the stomach and said, “Don’t start…Sometimes you just have to have the
music that loud. And I agree with Matt…She’s got great taste in music…”
Becca started
moving her body to the music and grooved her body against David and leaned up
and sang with the music in his ear. “You say you're a big boy, But I can't
agree, 'Cause the love you said you had, Ain't been put on me, I wonder, If I'm
just too much for you, Wonder, If my kiss don't make you just, Wonder, What I
got next for you, What you wanna do? (Do), Take a chance to recognize that this
could be yours, I can see, just like most guys that your game don't please,
Baby, can't you see?, These clothes are fittin' on me, The heat comin' from
this beat, I'm about to blow, I don't think you know.” David shook the cobwebs out of his head and
shivered as Becca continued to dance up to the door. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her ass.
John opened
the front door and watched his sister dancing all over the living room while
she was dusting. John walked over and
soon there was silence. Alyssa turned
around and came face to face with her brother as she ran over and jumped into
his arms and he hugged the stuffing’s out of her. John kissed the top of her head and said, “I
see you’re getting along just fine without me.”
Aly laughed and said, “Well Therapy isn’t the same without you…but then
again it gives Matt, Sean, Steve and Dan time to make fun of you when you’re in
the ring looking absolutely ridiculous.”
John said, “I
see 4 brothers of mine getting an ass whoopin’ in the near future.” Aly laughed as she walked over to the door and
saw Matt, David, and Becca starting there and said, “C’mon in were not paying
to heat up the outside.” Becca said,
“Not with John’s outfit at least.” John
said, “Speaking of the weather…I know it’s chilly…but I feel like cooking
out.” Aly rolled her eyes and said, “Way
ahead of you big brothers…Steaks are in the frige.”
After
everything was said and done with dinner…Matt and Alyssa were sitting outside
on the back steps…the wind had finally died down a little and there was just a
small breeze and they were laughing at talking about John when he was growing
up and what he’s like when he’s on the road at work.
Matt turned to
Alyssa and said, “I know this is crazy and you barely know me, but can I take
you out sometime?” Aly said, “I don’t
think it would be a good idea.” Matt
said, “Why not…I don’t think John would have a problem with it.” Aly nodded and said, “I know John wouldn’t
care…I just…I have a really sketchy past with men and my life hasn’t been all
roses…the last 10 years of my life is a blur that I’m trying to forget…and with
a lot Wine and a lot of therapy…I’m hoping to erase it from my memory
completely…I just don’t think right now would be a good time to do anything
with the opposite sex other then talk.”
Matt said,
“Okay.” He pulled a piece of paper out
of his pocket and wrote something on it and handed it to her and he said,
“Here’s my cell number…call me anytime and we’ll do a lot more talking.” Aly half smiled as she pulled her cell phone
out and stored the number in it and smiled at Matt as they continued talking
and just enjoying the night.
Chapter 7
Today was a
different day…Alyssa had decided to go to therapy alone…Except her brothers
tagged along and stayed in the waiting room incase she needed them for
anything…Alyssa got comfortable and said, “Can we do something different
today?” Her therapist Kim said, “What
would you like to do?” Aly said, “I
dunno…I just know I don’t want to talk about me today…I’m tired of hear and
telling the same depressing stories over about my life…I just want to move
on.” Kim said, “That’s a healthy way to
start Aly…Okay…I could always tell you about my incredible horrible blind date
last night.” Aly giggled and said,
“Okay…I’m all ears.”
Kim said, “All he did was
talk about his ex for 45 minutes, who also happened to be named Kim. How much
he loved her, how much he wanted to marry her, how much he wanted to have 5 or
6 children with her...Do I want children? ... Do I want 5 or 6 children?” Alyssa
said, “Okay, a blind date couldn’t be any worse.” Kim
said, “I'm not even finished yet.
I look over and he has this drop of red wine hanging from his
nose.”
Alyssa said, “What?” Kim
said, “You heard me, this puny little blob just hanging there. So of
course I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Is it gonna fall? Is it gonna hang
there all night? Is his skin gonna absorb it?”
Alyssa
said, “How did it get there?” Kim squealed, “Alyssa!” Alyssa
said, “No really, how do you get your nose that far into a wine glass?
Was he smelling it or...” Kim
laughed and said, “Alyssa, please!” Alyssa said, “What happened?” Kim
smirked and said, “I went to the bathroom and snuck out the
window.” Aly said, “You're
kidding?” Kim laughed harder and said,
“Nope.” Alyssa laughed and said, “Wow.”
Aly laughed a
little more and said, “You know my brother has the hots for you.” Kim quirked her eye brow at Alyssa and said,
“Really? Which one?” Alyssa laughed and said “Probably the one you
least expect it to be! John’s probably
one of my most fun brothers…but sometimes I don’t think he’ll ever grow up…He’s
extremely responsible don’t get me wrong…but he does LOVE to have fun. Sometimes I seriously think he missed his
calling to be a hoodlum…but other then that…He does know how to have a good
time.”
When therapy
was finally over…Aly stood up and said, “So, what are you gonna do
tonight?” Kim smiled as she stood up and
said, “Oh, the usual. Get drunk, meet a random guy at the bar and have a night
of wild sex until I pass out from sheer exhaustion.” Aly laughed and said, “Takeout and a hot
bath?” Kim smiled and said, “Yea…I can't
wait to go home and get into bed. What do you think my chances are of having
Matt Damon waiting there for me?” Aly
smiled and said, “Slim to none…Thanks Kim…I needed this today.” Kim smiled and said, “Any time kiddo.”
Alyssa stepped
out into the waiting room and all 5 of her brother’s jump out of their chairs
to make sure she was ok…but she came out smiling…It was definitely a
switch. John got her back home and said
he was going to go to a friend’s house and would see her later and to probably
not hold dinner for him. Alyssa went
upstairs and decided on a nap. She
needed it. She fell asleep and actually
slept for 3 hours…she woke up when her cell phone start vibrating on the night
stand.
Alyssa rolled
over and picked up the phone and saw it was Matt as she flipped it open and
said, “Hi.” Matt said, “Wow…I never
heard someone sound so not awake in all my life…Are you sleeping? You want me to let you go and you can call me
back later?” Aly moved around and woke
up more not wanting to miss a talk with Matt and said, “No…No…I’m awake…I’ve
been asleep for the last 3 hours and I need to get up. What are you doing and where are you?”
Matt laughed
and said, “I’m home…I just got bored and figured I’d call and we’d have some
more of that talking you’re so fond of.”
Aly giggled and stretched as she said, “I know none of what I said the
other night makes any sense to you…but eventually it will. Eventually I’ll be able to explain everything
to you and have you fully understand exactly where I’m coming from.”
Matt said,
“Hey…you don’t owe me an explanation…When you are damn good and ready to spill
the beans to me about you and the past…Then I’ll be sitting right next to you,
holding your hand…Being supportive in the only way I know how…By just being
there.” Matt almost had her in tears
again as she said, “Thanks Matt.” Matt
said, “Anytime. I’m gonna head to
bed…I’ll talk with you later.” Aly
smiled softly and said, “Night Matt…Sweet dreams.” Matt said, “Night Aly…Sweet dreams to you
too.” They said their good byes…and then
hung up.
Chapter 8
It had been a
year since Alyssa was released from the mental institution and John was
starting to notice the change in his sister attitude immediately. She was slowly coming out of her private
shell…granted she’s been out for her family shell were their parents had
basically forced her…she was still pretty shut off when the subject of their
parents came up…but who could honestly blame her?
When john
noticed the reason why his sister went from wall flower to social butterfly…all
sources pointed to one individual…Namely Matt Hardy. John had decided it was time for the big
brother talk. And that’s exactly what
John did during the next Smackdown/Raw PPV…John walked down the hall and found
Matt sitting on an equipment trunk lacing up his wrestling boots…John sat next to
him and said, “So…When’s the last time you spoke with Alyssa?”
Matt said,
“About 20 minutes ago, why? What’s up?”
John said, “I think we need to talk about her.” Matt said, “Okay…so talk.” John said, “I’m not sure how much you know
about her past, but for the last ten years of her life she was locked away at
an Insane Asylum, my parents had a particularly cruel streak towards my sister,
why I’m not sure and even after she was released they still don’t want to have
anything to do with her.”
Matt said,
“Why are you telling me this John?
Shouldn’t Alyssa be telling me this when she trusts me more? And not you?”
John knew Matt had a point and said, “I’m not sure…I have this feeling
Alyssa would not tell anyone what happened and just roll with what ever life
throws at her…I don’t want her thinking no one understands what she went
through…I’m just trying to help her get on with her life. What life she has left.”
Matt said,
“Then you should be able to trust her enough to know she’ll tell me about her
past when she’s damn good and ready, until then it’s none of my business. And it’s not part of your business to tell me
either.” John said, “I know…Okay let’s
forget we had this conversation.” Matt
smirked and said, “What conversation?”
John chuckled as he nodded and proceeded to walk away.
A couple of
weeks later, everyone was on their Christmas vacation for the company that
Alyssa’s brother worked for. Matt,
Becca, and David all ended up at John’s for the holiday. Not that Alyssa was complaining or anything…Her
and Matt had been getting closer and she’d actually told him about her 10 year
stay in the Insane Asylum…Matt had never wanted to cry that bad for seeing the
way someone actually treated their child…There was only one other time he
wanted to cry like that and it was when his mom had died from cancer.
When Christmas
morning came, Alyssa was thankful for all the gifts she’d gotten…but when it
came down to her favorite gift…Matt’s gift to her was definitely her
favorite. It was a 2 inch silver Celtic
cross that was outlined in black onyx stones with one red stone in the middle
of it. Once he tied it around her neck
she didn’t remove it. She saw it as her
protector. Matt knew she enjoyed it
because every time he saw her, she was either touching it or staring at it.
John noticed
her spending most of her free time staring at that stupid cross also…but
figured, as long as it made Aly happy then that’s all that really
mattered. When it came time for the guys
to go back on the road…Aly was standing in the drive way hugging John, knowing
she was going to miss him so much, but knew he’d be home in a few weeks.
When it came
to be Matt’s turn, Aly said, “Can I talk to you in private for a second?” Matt nodded and said, “Sure Aly.” He followed her into the house out of the way
of prying eyes and Alyssa pushed her hands into her front pockets and said, “I
just wanted to say thank you for my necklace one more time…I love it…It’s one
of the most beautiful gifts I’ve ever received…I doubt I will ever take it
off.” Matt smiled his little crocked
smile and said, “I’m really glad you like it so much.”
Matt said, “So
are you going to be up later…I’d like to call you.” Alyssa smiled and said, “Of course…How could
I go through a single night without the fearless Matt Hardy calling me.” Matt chuckled and said, “I don’t know about
fearless…but I know I can’t miss a single phone call with you.” Alyssa laughed.
Apparently the
timing was just right because Alyssa pushed up on her toes as Matt gripped her
shoulders and their lips crashed together in a sensual kiss that seemed to burn
each others lips. It was such a nice
kiss, Matt almost hated to pull away from Aly when he heard the others beeping
the horn…Matt squeezed Alyssa in a huge hug before he winked at her and took
off…
Alyssa stood
in the doorway with her finger touching her swollen lips. She would so not be ever washing her lips
again! She exhaled slowly as she caught
her breath and her heart that had raced to heaven was back down in her chest as
she closed and locked the front door setting the alarm…as she decided a nice
long bath would be just what she DESPARATELY needed at that moment.
Chapter 9
Obviously from
that first kiss that was shared together they couldn’t stay away from each other
and decided to slowly start dating.
Almost a year later…They found themselves at Christmas time again…Matt
had invited Alyssa on the road with them for Christmas. She went overseas with them when they went to
entertain the troops in Iraq. And when they
did their Christmas show for the states.
*****************************
Since the moment I spotted
you
Like walking 'round with little wings on my shoes
My stomach's filled with the butterflies
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feelin' like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied
Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right
*****************************
Alyssa was
walking around back stage with Matt while he was getting ready for his match,
when Becca and David walked up and Aly said, “Oh My God.” Becca looked down at her Christmas show
outfit. It was a red plastic shorts and
tank top with white fur around the bottom of the shorts and the arm holes of
the tank top, plus her 4 inch spiked red knee high boots with white fur around
the knee. And to top it off she had on a Santa’s hat. Her hair was in tons and tons of spiral
curls.
Becca almost
blushed for the way Alyssa was looking at her but had to remember, Alyssa had
been sheltered most of her life…So seeing her dressed like that was a BIG shock
to her. Of course seeing David in
nothing but a pair of jockeys was pretty shocking to the young girl also. Becca smiled as she struck a pose in the
hallway and said, “What don’t I look like I’ve been a good girl this
year?” David chuckled and said, “So good
you’re Naughty! I’ve got a list you can
check off with my pencil.” Becca
couldn’t help but let the blush creep into her cheeks as she turned to David
and smacked his arm hard and said, “PERVERT!”
Dave and Becca took off to get warmed up for both their upcoming
matches.
*****************************
So I'll say why don't you
and I
Get together an' take on the
world
We'll be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I
Hold each other…Fly to the
moon
And straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in
*****************************
Alyssa laughed
at their antics…She couldn’t help but love being around all of them…Everyone on
the roster was so nice. She could nearly
forget about her past and parents when she was with good people like them. Granted she couldn’t forget them during the
holidays, because what the hell they were still her mom and dad…no matter what
they’d done to her. Matt brought her out
of her thoughts as he gave her a quick kiss on the lips and said he was going
to go out and do his match and would see her in 15 – 20 minutes. Alyssa smiled softly and took a seat on one
of the equipment trunks in the back hallway and watched as Matt took off down
the hallway.
Alyssa was
sitting minding her own business when a red head walked up and said, “So you’re
Matt Hardy’s new girlfriend?” Aly smiled
and said, “Not really new…We’ve been dating for about a year.” There was something about this particular red
head that she gave off a not so friendly vibe.
Aly couldn’t remember meeting her, so she figured maybe she was a new
girl. Aly held out her hand and said,
“Alyssa Cena.” The red head smirked and
said, “Cena? You wouldn’t by any chance
be related John would you?” Aly smiled
and said, “Yes…He’s my older brother.”
The red smirked again…Okay twice within 5 minutes…Aly knew the red head
was there to start trouble. The red head
shook her hand and said, “Nice to meet you…I’m Amy…Amy Dumas.”
*****************************
When's this fever gonna
break
I think I've handled more than any man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around
And it's alright
Bouncin' round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied
Every time I try to talk to you
Get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right
*****************************
Alyssa hopped
off the trunk as she pulled her hand from the red heads and knew her suspicions
about her were right on the money…she was there to start trouble. Aly said, “I know who you are Ms. Dumas. It was lovely meeting someone who used to be
as fond of Matt as I am right now.” Amy
glared at the little bitch and said, “Used to be? Oh no…You’ve got me all wrong…I’m still fond
of him…What I wanna know is how he could possible be dating a pathetic loser
like you…but now that I know whose sister you are…I know he must be giving you
a pity date as a favor to John.”
Aly could feel
her blood starting to boil and said, “Ms. Dumas and I use that term loosely,
because I would only call a Lady Ms. And
you’re almost close enough to be a whore instead of a lady...The only one here
who needs a pity date is you…You’re the reason Matt is with me…You broke his
heart by whoring around with that pathetic excuse for a wrestler Adam
Copeland…and had you made a better decision in life…He’d still be in
yours. Thanks for providing me with the
best thing that ever happened to me in my life.”
*****************************
So I'll say why don't you
and I
Get together an' take on the
world
We'll be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I
Hold each other…Fly to the
moon
And straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in
*****************************
Amy said, “I
never knew you were fond of sloppy seconds…But apparently your stint in that
Mental Institution helped alter your perception of life. Of course if I’d of been there…It would have
deluded me as well. You know something
honey…I think you should go back…You don’t seem nearly as ready for the real
world as you think you are.” Aly had had
quite enough of this bitch as she turned to face her and said, “Reality is what
you make of it Ms. Dumas…You’re perception of life seems to appear a bit
altered as well…” Amy scoffed and said,
“How so?” Alyssa grinned evil and said,
“Because you seem to think just because I spent a decade in a insane asylum
that it made me some weak mild meek little girl…but I hate to break it to you
Ms. Dumas…I am FAR FROM IT!!”
Amy saw a
flash in the girls’ eyes she’d never seen there before and was suddenly grabbed
by the back of her head and shoved into the open Diva dressing room behind
her. The door was slammed shut and Amy
was shoved into the cinder block wall as the fear came across her face…Suddenly
pain raked through Amy’s stomach as she looked down and found the girls knee
planted in her gut. Alyssa shoved her
head back against the wall and said, “How’s your perception of life now Amy Dumas? Here’s a good question…How do you think my
perception of life is doing? Good huh?
Yea I thought so too.” Amy coughed and
said, “You’re crazy bitch.”
*****************************
Slowly I begin to realize
this is never gonna end
But about the same time you walk by
And I say oh here we go again, oh
Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right
So I'll say why don't you and I
Get together an' take on the
world
We'll be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I
Hold each other…Fly to the
moon
And straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in
*****************************
A blinding
pain ripped through Amy’s stomach again as Alyssa dislodged her knee from Amy’s
gut one more time. Amy fell to her hands
and knees as she started coughing up blood…Oh yea…she’d punctured a lung with a
couple of ribs and just to add insult to injury. Before Alyssa left the room she her square in
the chest. She was really hoping to
deflate her fake fun bags…but she doubted it would both them…but…It was ALWAYS
worth a shot.
Aly squatted
down as she rolled a coughing and groaning Amy over onto her back and as she
grabbed a hand full of hair and pulled her head up and said, “I’m not crazy
bitch…I wasn’t even sent to the asylum for being crazy…I was sent for other
reasons…but hey at least my perception of life hasn’t been altered…But I
sincerely hope yours has…I hope you learned your lesson about trying to screw
with people you think are easy…I wasn’t so easy was I? I swear on my life and all that is holy you
tell anyone I did this to you…you will rue the day you ever tried to fuck with
me…I promise!” Aly grabbed a pair of
scissors and cut a huge HUNK of red hair out of Amy’s think mane and set it on
fire in one of the metal trash cans.
*****************************
So I'll say why don't you
and I
Get together an' take on the
world
We'll be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I
Hold each other…Fly to the
moon
And straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in
So I'll say why don't you
and I
Get together an' take on the
world
We'll be
together forever
Heads we will
and tails we'll try again
*****************************
Alyssa
proceeded to walk out of the room as if nothing happened. A few minutes later she ran into Matt and
they continued on their way to his dressing room. Alyssa said, “I got to meet your ex…She was a
real peach.” Matt pulled Alyssa close
and kissed her lips softly and said, “I’m so sorry you had to deal with her
baby.” Alyssa smiled softly and said,
“Oh…Don’t worry about it…We had a lovely chat and I just thanked her for giving
me the best thing in my life.” Matt
said, “I know this is a little soon…I wanted to give it to you at Christmas…but
I can’t wait for 2 more days…” Matt
pulled out a black velvet box and opened it…It was a tear drop shaped diamond
ring set on a silver band and as he went down to one knee…Alyssa could feel the
tears sliding down her cheeks as he said, “Will you marry me?” Aly smiled softly and said, “With all my
heart.” Matt slipped the ring on her
finger as he kissed her lips softly.
Chapter 10
Six months
after the engagement, Matt and Alyssa were married. John gave his sister away, considering their
parents didn’t show and just conveniently forgot to let everyone know they
would be on vacation…Which was total bullshit and every one knew it.
It almost
killed John when he sat watching his married sister packing up her room…She was
moving to Cameron, North Carolina…Not that John was surprised or anything. That was Matt’s home town and he’d lived
there his whole life and it wasn’t like Alyssa could stay with John
forever…Especially after being married…That would be just silly.
When Alyssa
finished packing her brothers and Matt loaded Matt’s blue Saturn Vue
(SUV). Once everything was loaded Alyssa
stood in front of a row of 5 brothers…She hugged every single one like she was
going to the electric chair…She got to John and he said, “It doesn’t seem
fair…We just got you back, and now you’re leaving again…And to another
state.”
Alyssa
sniffled and said, “I know, but it would be kind of ridiculous to stay here
while my husband lives in another state…I’m an old married woman now…Of course
if you play your cards right…You could sweep Kim off her feet.” John hugged Alyssa tight and said, “If you
need anything, I don’t care if it’s a tube of chapstick or a bed to crash
in…you call me anytime day or night and it’s yours.”
Alyssa nodded
as she pulled away and backed up from them as Matt opened the door and helped
her in. Matt got in and as they pulled
out of the driveway Alyssa waved and Matt took her other hand to make sure she
was comforted. Matt said, “You okay
baby?” Alyssa whipped her eyes with a
tissue and she nodded and said, “Of course.
At least this time I got to say goodbye.”
Matt said, “Yea…but
this time the best part is…It’s not forever…We can visit whenever you like or
you can…They are your family…It’s not like I’m kidnapping you.” Alyssa laughed as she squeezed his hand
tighter and said, “No of course not I always knew this day would come.”
Alyssa turned
towards Matt and said, “When I agreed to marry you, it included
everything…Which happens to be in Cameron.
When I said I’d love to live there…I didn’t mean a few days…I meant
forever, cause that’s how long were going to be married…Forever.” Matt stopped at a red light and Alyssa leaned
over the center council and kissed Matt’s lips so softly…They nearly got honked
into the following week when they didn’t move for the green light.
No one would
have predicted what was going to happen next…No one.
Alyssa was
excited Christmas was in a few days and Matt would be home soon… Alyssa and
Matt had been married for six months already.
She’d spoke with him the night before on the phone for a couple of hours
while he was on the train. John had been
lucky and was already in a warm bed after being on the plane.
The Raw roster
was on their way to a Monday Night Raw in Canada…half the roster was on a plane
and because of weather conditions the other half had to leave on a train. It was snowing so bad in Canada and the
surrounding states that the roads were closed…the only things allowed to move
out in the weather was the planes and trains.
Alyssa woke up
it was a nice white morning. She looked
out the window and was greeted by so much snow she thought she was going to go
blind from the sun bouncing off the whiteness.
She closed her eyes as she opened the window and took in the smell the
snow left in the air. It was absolutely
breath taking…It was her first snow since moving to Cameron and more
importantly it was her first Christmas as a married woman.
She absolutely
couldn’t wait to give Matt his Christmas gift…Actually he’d given it to her a
month ago and she was just now finding out what it was. She’d been sick for the last couple of weeks
and blew it off as the flu but after 3 weeks of it Matt insisted she got to the
doctor cause he knew the flu never lasted that long.
She looked at
herself in the mirror and thought she didn’t look any different…but then again
she felt a warmth come over her like never before…Every one says pregnant women
glow…and apparently her glow was broken until now.
Alyssa rubbed
her flat stomach and said “Soon enough kiddo…Daddy will know…Soon enough.”
Chapter 11
Alyssa
continued with her morning ritual of straightening up the house and getting it
nice…a couple of the ornaments had fallen off the tree so as Alyssa danced
around cleaning up the ornaments made their way back onto the tree. Alyssa couldn’t have been anymore happy if
she’d sprouted wings and flew around the house…Nothing could’ve ruined her
mood.
She was wrong…
There was a
knock on the front door. Alyssa slid
across the wooden floors of the North Carolina home as she got to the front
door and pulled it open…Coming face to face with all her brothers…Including
John. But she noticed something
weird…None of them were smiling…They were all looking serious…Too serious as a
matter of fact.
Alyssa laughed
nervously and said, “John you just left for Canada last night…You didn’t skip
the show did you? You know Vince will
have your ass.” John sniffled and said,
“Aly…I’m so sorry.” Alyssa said, “What
the hell is going on?” John said,
“Haven’t you seen the news?” Aly shook
her head no and said, “I just woke up about an hour ago and was cleaning up the
house for Christmas.”
John closed
his eyes and tried to figure out how to tell her…But he knew he couldn’t beat
around the bush as he finally looked up into her eyes and said, “There was an
accident…about an hour outside of Calgary…A suburban with a family of 10
stalled on the tracks and the train carrying the other half of the roster his
the breaks to avoid a collision…in the process some of the railroad ties
buckled under the weight and threw the train off the track with as loud as it
was it triggered an avalanche. About
5,000 tons of snow came down on the entire train and pushed half of it over the
side of the mountain. They said it’s
impossible that any one survived…It’ll take at least a month to dig the train
out and pull each car back up to get the bodies out…”
Alyssa stared
at John…she was suddenly aware that he was telling her this because Matt was
still on the train. Alyssa shook her
head and said, “No…That’s impossible…I just spoke to him last night.” Alyssa turned away from her brothers as she
marched into the living room and snatched the remote off the coffee table and
turned on the TV…flipping through the channels as fast as she could to get to
the news channel.
There it was
in color and sound…it showed the train dangling over the side of the
mountain…Alyssa sat down on the footstool and just stared at the TV. She couldn’t take it anymore as she turned
the TV off and threw the remote across the room and John was at her side in
seconds along with Sean, Matt, Dan and Steven.
Alyssa immediately wrapped her arms around John’s neck and cried on his
shoulder…Her hands gripped fist full of his shirt as Sean, Matt, Dan and Steven
joined as one big family hug.
After the
initial shock wore off…Alyssa walked through the house 24/7…trying to remember
everything about Matt…Hoping and praying everyone was wrong about no
survivors…She was waiting for the phone to ring and say there were
survivors. There had to be…There just
had to be…That many people dying from a train accident was unheard of.
3 days later
and it was Christmas morning. Alyssa say
in the den staring at the Christmas tree…She wanted Matt to be sitting next to
her opening his gifts and sharing his love of every single gift and watch his
face as he opened the box with the Christmas gift that had been mischievously
placed in the tree with his name on it.
And then watch as the shock and happiness slide across his face when he
found the framed ultra sound picture that said ‘Baby’s First Picture’ in block
lettering and painted in pink and blue colors.
*****************************
The lake is frozen over
The trees are white with snow
And all around
Reminders of you
Are everywhere I go
It's late and morning's in no hurry
But sleep won't set me free
I lie awake and try to recall
How your body felt beside me
When silence gets too hard to handle
And the night too long
*****************************
Her brothers
were in the living room watching the news…as they did a step by step process of
digging out the train and bodies slowly.
Alyssa couldn’t take the silence anymore…She couldn’t watch the news
anymore…She’d not slept in 3 days and wasn’t surprised. She pulled her snow boots on with her scarf
and gloves…she had on a turtle neck and a sweater as she walked off the porch
into the snow. Listening to it crunch
under her feet.
Alyssa
squatted down and pulled her glove off and touched the cold snow…the warmth of
her hand melted the snow in her hand as she just stared at it…she studied it
over and over…as she kept touching it.
*****************************
And this is how I see you
In the snow on Christmas morning
Love and happiness surround you
As you throw your arms up to the sky
I keep this moment by and by
Oh I miss you now
My love
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
My love
*****************************
Standing up
Aly looked around at the trees covered in snow and remembered back to the first
Christmas she’d shared with Matt…She remembered they went out in the snow and
played around in it for hours with Becca, David and her brothers…It was the
year he’d bought her the cross necklace…She felt the necklace in her
hands…She’d vowed to never take it off and had kept her promise. She fell back laying in the snow staring at
the sky.
She was
extremely unhappy with God…How could he be so cruel? Matt died a horrible death and went to his
grave never knowing he was going to be a father…How in the world was she going
to describe to their child who its father was?
And what a wonderful person in life he was…How do you tell someone how
happy you were with the love of your life when he isn’t around anymore and the
happiness that radiated through her body has somehow disappeared from her life?
*****************************
Sense of joy fills the air
And I daydream and I stare
Up at the tree and I see
Your star up there
And this is how I see you
In the snow on Christmas morning
Love and happiness surround you
As you throw your arms up to the sky
I keep this moment by and by
*****************************
How could
something as beautiful as snow be so brutal and heartless? She couldn’t answer it…No one could.
Chapter 12
Alyssa found
herself missing Matt on a daily basis…Not that that was unusual or anyone could
blame her…She’d sent her brother’s home because they wouldn’t do anything for
her if they fawned over her. After a few
days of fawning…she was thoroughly annoyed with ALL 5 of them and demanded they
leave her be…She yelled at them so hard she thought she was going to pass out
and they thought she was having some kind of fit. In the end she won out. She couldn’t stand being coddled over…She
just wanted to be left alone to deal with what she was feeling on her own.
*****************************
Love is a lonely place
without you…(Without you)
I know I'm not alone
I should not be afraid
'Cause I hear your voice
And I know you're there beside me
And so I give my heart
I live to love again
But I can't let go of the way I feel about you
Love is a lonely place
without you
I miss you…(Miss you)
And you're almost here
And I'm almost touching you
Love is a place I have to hide away
I'll never love this way again……Again…
*****************************
Every day
since she’d heard the news she’d get out of bed after about 3 hour of
sleep. She’d pull on some exercise pants
and a sweatshirt, wrap herself in a blanket at sit on the front porches swing
and stare out into the snow…basically stare out into the nothingness…And DAMN
there was a lot of it. She missed Matt
every second she was breathing. Seconds
turned into Minutes, and Minutes turned into hours, Hours into Days and
eventually days into weeks…Pretty soon she heard the Canadians were started to
dig up dead bodies…It had officially been a month since the tragic accident…No
one had fully recovered from it yet…Who could?
Today was no
different…Sitting in her jeans, snow boots and a sweater with a scarf around
her neck wrapped in a blanket that still smelled like Matt. Aly sat slowly letting the swing sway back
and forth slightly…She was finally over her morning sickness…For that she was
TRULY thankful…Puking and crying wasn’t easy OR fun. It wasn’t too frightfully cold that
morning…John had been calling her cell phone and house phone non-stop for 5
hours…She just didn’t feel like talking to anyone…So far John had left 7
messages on her voicemail for her cell phone and almost 10 messages on her
answering machine.
*****************************
If love was ever true I know
it was with you
'Cause you touch my soul
And you stay with me forever
No tears…No sad goodbyes
There are no reasons why
But I'm holding on
I believe in love eternal
Love is a lonely place without you
I miss you…(Miss you)
And you're almost here
And I'm almost touching you
Love is a place I have to hide away
I'll never love this way again……Again…
*****************************
Alyssa held
the blanket tighter around her…The wind had picked up slightly. She couldn’t imagine what was going on,
because one minute it was nice and calm and suddenly the wind was starting to
kick up pretty good. The top dusting of
snow was starting to scatter around with the wind. Something caught her eye…A long black stretch
limo was heading down the long driveway that led to their property…‘Great’ she
thought…It’s probably Vince again. Vince
McMahon had come out to the property a few dozen times to check on her to make
sure she was coping okay and didn’t need anything.
Alyssa rolled
her eyes as the limo pulled into the side drive way next to the house and
stopped. She honestly didn’t need this
today…In fact it was the LAST thing she really needed today. She could feel herself getting queasy at just
the thought of having to speak with him again about Matt. As the limo came to a stop something new
caught her eye as a tall figure stepped out of the limo. He was too tall to be Vince and not bulky
enough. And suddenly the black ponytail
gave him away…Alyssa shut her eyes tight…It was a friggen dream…She knew it
was…It had to be. Only God could play
this bad of a joke on her and get away with it.
*****************************
Though I'm moving on…
I'm still holding on, holding on, holding on…
Love is a lonely place without you
I miss you…(Miss you)
And you're almost here
And I'm almost touching you
Love is a place I have to hide away
I'll never love this way again……Again…
Love is a lonely place, a
lonely place.
Love is a lonely place, a lonely place.
Love is a lonely place, a lonely place.
Love is a lonely place, a lonely place.
*****************************
Alyssa jumped
up from the swing and opened her eyes to see Matt walking down the drive way
with his carry on bag he took with him…She couldn’t believe it. The blanket was dropped as she jumped off the
porch and ran up the driveway. She just
kept hoping that when she got to him, he wouldn’t disappear. Matt had a huge smile on his face as Alyssa
ran up to him and jumped on him…They both toppled into the snow, holding onto
each other. Matt kissed her lips softly,
it felt like it had been FOREVER since he could do that. Alyssa shook her head and said, “I don’t
understand…They said there were no survivors.”
Matt said, “All of us who had to take the train couldn’t sleep we ended
up in the lunch car talking and whatever when the accident happened…We were
lucky….the car behind us where our rooms were, was the one that was buried and
pushed off the side of the mountain. We
were actually able to live off the food in the lunch car.” Alyssa started placing kisses all over his
face as he held her as close as possible.
Eventually they were able to make it into the house.
Chapter 13
Matt had
gotten all showered and was standing in the bathroom with just a towel around
his waist…He couldn’t believe he was going to be a father…It was even better
news then when he realized him and the rest of the guys were going to live
through the whole avalanche ordeal.
Alyssa walked into the bathroom to bring him some warm hot chocolate and
looked down…she noticed he had some purple bruises around his ribs…her hands
slowly went out and touched his discolored skin…
Matt sucked in
a breath…He loved feeling her hands on his body…the skin on skin contact was
something that always got to him. Her
soft fingers and hands were caressing him.
Matt couldn’t stand it anymore as he leaned down and captured her
lips. Matt’s arm went around her waist
as he pulled her closer to his body.
Matt lifted Alyssa into his arms as he carried her into her bedroom
after making sure the door was closed and locked, he slowly laid down on the
bed next to her.
Alyssa leaned
over and kissed him…and surprisingly enough he kissed her back…his hand went to
her hip and then around her waist and pulled her closer…Matt’s hand slid down
her thigh to the back of her knee…and he pulled her leg around his thigh…and
was rubbing the back of her thigh as the kissing got a little more
intense…Matt’s hand traveled up the back of her panties to her booty…his hand
was so warm on her skin…Alyssa was running her fingers through his hair…
Matt rolled over until he was situated half on her and half off of her…his free
hand slowly crept up her body to the bottom of her bra, undoing the clasp…and
he slowly started sliding it off…he looked up at her and just stared at her
eyes like he was asking permission to remove her bra…Alyssa smirked a little
and then nodded her approval of him removing her bra…so he finished sliding it
all the way up and off her arms…he tossed it next to the bed…the first thing
her now naked cold breasts came in contact with was his warm chest…her nipples
were hard enough to cut out someone’s eye…but soon softened up under his body
heat…
Matt started to slowly lick and kiss his way down her neck across her collar
bone, and down in the valley between her breast…then soon started a full out
assault on her nipples, lick, sucking, nipping between his teeth but not too
hard…just enough to get her aroused by it…which she will admit…it was working.
Then he kissed and licked down to her navel where he pulled on her navel ring
with his teeth for a few minutes…and then went a little lower…he was placing
kisses all along her hips, legs, knees, calves, then went back up and grabbed
the string of her panties that was across one of her hips with his teeth and
started pulling them off with his teeth…and dispose of them…
His erection had been present the whole time…Alyssa could feel it being rubbed
all over her body any time he moved…Matt crawled back up to face her…and he
pushed her knees apart…Alyssa’s hands slowly slid down his body as she gripped
the towel that had been placed around his hips after his shower and she pulled
it loose from his body and dropped it to the floor…
Matt looked at
her with smoke filled brown eyes and in the sweetest softest voice he said,
“Alyssa…Are you sure we can do this?” Alyssa moaned as her warm breath caught
Matt on the side of the neck and she said, “I want you…Please Matt…I want you
inside of me.”
Matt positioned his the head of his erection at the opening of her wet
center…and he kissed her as he started sliding his erection into her…Alyssa
could feel her walls expanding and expanding…Matt took one of her hands and
laced their fingers together…as he slowly pushed himself all the way into
her...he could tell by how tight she was, she hadn’t had sex in a long time.
Once Matt had sheathed himself all the way in her…he laid there perfectly still
for a few minutes, letting her get used to his size…He slowly started moving in
and out of her…She was moaning when he’d push in from all the pleasure…and
groan when he’d pull out, cause she felt empty…
Pretty soon, Matt grabbed her hips and rolled them over to where Alyssa was
sitting straddled on him and he said, “Ride me baby.” Alyssa smiled and that’s
exactly what she started doing…Matt had a firm grip on her hips…helping her
glide up and down his erection…Alyssa leaned down and kissed him and he sat up
while still working her up and down him…Matt wrapped his arms around her and
said, “Shit…baby you are tight…” Matt growled a little and said, “Damn, you
feel so good on me…This should be illegal.”
Alyssa threw her head back and her long hair trickled over Matt’s arms…as his
one hand found her butt and was trying to pull her closer…as if that could
happen…you couldn’t have gotten a single strand of hair between them as it
was…then he suddenly stood up with her still on him and moved around and laid
back down with her under him again…Alyssa wasn’t complaining…she liked him
being between her thighs…Matt’s thrusts were getting harder, faster and
definitely deeper…much, much deeper…Alyssa was going crazy out of her mind…
Matt could feel her walls starting to shutter around him….tightening and
releasing…and he knew her obviously building orgasm was approaching fast…he
started going deeper…Alyssa thought if he went much deeper…he’d never find his
way out with out a wet suit and a mining helmet…
Alyssa started
grinding her hips into his as his thrusts were so wonderful…Matt said, “That’s
it…c’mon…just let yourself go…I want you to cum for me…C’mon Aly…I want to hear
you cum for me…c’mon baby girl.” Alyssa
said, “Oh god Mmmmmaaatttttttttttt.” As she called his name her climax hit
her…which as soon as he felt her release…he soon followed and growled out a
furious climax as well…as she felt him explode deep inside of her…
Matt pulled out and laid next to her…pulling her over and Alyssa laid her head
on his chest, listening to his breathing and heart beating slow down…as hers
slowed down with his…Matt slid his hand across her some what swelled
stomach…She looked as through she’d been stung by a few thousand bees…He could
feel the love in his heart swell, because he knew the baby inside of her was
both of their together…They both ended up falling asleep.
Chapter 14
6 months
later…Alyssa was nearing 8 months pregnant and her belly showed it. She
and Matt survived their 1st anniversary with many more to come. Alyssa was sitting on the front porch swing
rubbing her belly…The baby had been extremely active…She almost felt queasy
from all the movement. Alyssa couldn’t
hardly wait for the baby to come…She loved being pregnant…Well she really
wasn’t excited about the morning sickness, but the whole baby inside of her was
definitely something she could stand to do a few more times. She and Matt couldn’t wait to see what the
baby looked like…they were excited because the baby would be there by the next
Christmas of course he/she would only be around 4/5 months old…but it would be
the first Christmas.
John, Matt,
Sean, Dan and Steven were all preparing to be perfect uncles…They were ALL
convinced Alyssa was having a boy…She laughed at them and said it would serve
them right for jumping to conclusions if she had a girl…Matt & Aly wanted
it to be a surprise to everyone even themselves so they never asked the babies
sex….Matt painted the baby’s room a nice light shade of violet and damn near
everything in the room was violet or purple…And PACKED with stuffed animals
from ALL the insane uncles.
Alyssa was
pulled from her thoughts as the screen door opened and Matt walked out with 2
cups and handed her one as he leaned over and kissed her lips softly…He said,
“Have some warm tea…Maybe it will calm the baby,” Alyssa laughed as she sipped the warm liquid
and said, “I doubt it…This kid thinks I’m a jungle gym.” Matt set his cup down on the side table and
laid down facing Alyssa’s belly as he started rubbing it and said, “Hey you in
there…Stop giving mommy such a hard time…You’re making her sick.” Alyssa couldn’t tell if it was the tea or
Matt’s voice, but the baby calmed down…Aly smiled at Matt while running her
fingers through his thick black hair…Alyssa was hoping the baby had Matt’s
beautiful raven colored hair…
She’d seen
pictures of Matt as a baby he couldn’t have been more adorable…Matt’s dad
Gilbert had showed Aly tons and tons of photos of Matt growing up…and of Jeff
too…Alyssa had met Jeff…Boy was he ever a character. Jeff was also classified as one of the insane
uncles…Aly kept thinking out of everyone…Jeff would most definitely be the most
fun…Matt had to seriously agree with her on that but also protested and said
there was a distinct possibility that John would give Jeff a rung for his money
as the more fun uncle. Alyssa laughed at
the thought as she relaxed even more as Matt continued his talk with the baby.
The following
morning was a painful one…Alyssa woke up with a headache that made her eyes
extremely sensitive to light…she thought for sure her head was going to
explode. She laid in bed for a
while…Matt had left a note that he was going to do some errands and would be
home later.
Matt walked in
the door ready for a nap…He’s gone grocery shopping and went to 4 different
baby stores to find the PERFECT mobile to hang over the baby’s crib…HE looked
at his watch after putting all the groceries away and noticed it was nearly 2
in the afternoon…He couldn’t believe Aly wasn’t up yet…but then again the baby
was making her more tire lately…And she’d been having those really bad
headaches during her whole pregnancy.
The doctor had said it was just from the stress of this being her first
pregnancy.
Matt made his
way upstairs and into their room and there was his angel sleeping
peacefully…Matt leaned down and kissed her forehead and noticed she was a
little cool to the touch and the noticed how unbelievably pale she looked and
getting paler by the minute…Matt shook her and said, “C’mon Aly it’s time to
get up…Lazy butt…Can’t stay in bed all day.”
When Matt couldn’t wake her…He pulled the covers back and almost passed
out from fright…The lower half of Aly’s body was covered in blood…She was
hemorrhaging to death…Matt called 911 and then called his dad and had Jeff call
her brothers.
Gilbert met
his son’s at the hospital…Matt and Jeff were in the waiting room…Matt was
walking around looked lost and Jeff was smart enough to leave him alone,
sitting in the corner just watching over his brother…He knew his bother like
that back of his hand and he’d know when he’d need him. About an hour later all 5 of Alyssa’s
brothers came through the doors and went straight to Matt…Matt could only tell
them what he’d witnessed…The doctor had been working on her for about 2 hours
and hadn’t been out yet.
*****************************
Remember all the times we
used to play
You were lost and I would save you
I don't think those feelings will ever fade
You were born a part of me
I was never good at hiding anything
My thoughts break me, do you understand
what you mean to me
You are my faith
Won't you cure my tragedy
Won't you cure my tragedy
Don't take her smile away from me
She’s broken and I'm far away
Won't you cure my tragedy
Won't you cure my tragedy
If you make the world a stage for me
Then I hope you can hear me scream
Won't you cure my tragedy
*****************************
The doctor
finally came out around the 3 hour mark and said, “Any one here for Alyssa
Hardy?” Matt and John were the first
up…Everyone gathered around and the doctor exhaled tired as he pulled his
surgical cap off and said, “Its touch and go right now…She has a case of
undiagnosed Pre-Eclampsia, its where changes in the makeup of the blood, such as destruction
of red blood cells causing anemia, disturbed liver function, and decreased
platelets, blood cells involved in clotting. Too few platelets can increase
your risk of bleeding uncontrollably during delivery or even spontaneously. I
know it’s early…but I have to deliver the baby…Carrying it to full term
would’ve killed your wife…if not both of them during labor. Congratulations…You’re the proud father of a
4lb 6 ounce baby boy…He’d in the Neonatal ICU if you’d like to see him…You’re
wife is in ICU…She slipped in a coma which isn’t uncommon in cases like
this…Once she starts to heal she should come out of it…The next few days are
going to be critical.”
*****************************
When I sit and think of the
days we shared
And the nights you covered for me
Every little thing that I ever did
You would stand by me
Every time you would cry it would take my wind
My heart would break
If I could be strong like you were for me
You are my faith
Won't you cure my tragedy
Won't you cure my tragedy
Don't take her smile away from me
She's broken and I'm far away
If you made the world a stage for me
Then I hope that you could hear me scream
Can you hear me scream…?
Can you hear me scream…?
*****************************
The doctor walked away and John turned to Matt and said,
“I don’t care what happens in the next few days…I’m telling you right now…My
sister is toughed then he realizes…Don’t give up on her…She didn’t give up on
you…Don’t you DARE give up on her!” Matt
looked at John said, “Do you really think giving up is an option? If they can’t help her here…I’ll take her
some where else where they can help her…I don’t care if I have to take her all
the way to fuckin Iceland. She’s going
to come out of this and were going to raise our son together.”
*****************************
Won't you cure my tragedy
Won't you cure my tragedy
Don't take her smile away from me
She's broken and I'm far away
Won't you cure my tragedy
Won't you cure my tragedy
If you made the world a stage for me
then I hope that you can hear me scream
I can't take this anymore
I can't feel this anymore
Won't you take and give her pain to me
Cause my whole life I've made mistakes
Can you hear me scream…?
Can you hear me scream…?
*****************************
Chapter 15
5 Months
Later. . .
John was
looking around the house…Christmas again…It seemed like every major event that
had to do with his family always happened around the Christmas
holiday…Christmas wouldn’t seem the same this year. It had been 5 months ago that Alyssa had
complications with her pregnancy.
Nothing seemed to be the same since then. Things just seemed to go in slow motion after
that day…Maybe slow was good for the time being. John picked up and was getting ready for
every one to come over so they could start Christmas properly…
John had
informed his parents they were no longer invited to Christmas at his home…As
painful as it was to say that to them…It was even more painful to let them know
they had a grandson they would never know, because Alyssa would’ve wanted it
that way. John told them with as
terrible as they had treated their own flesh and blood he couldn’t imagine how
they would’ve treated one of their sons had the situation been reversed. John didn’t understand how they could be so
heartless and cruel to their only daughter…but then again…John wasn’t them and
Alyssa wasn’t his daughter.
Understanding…a word no one in the family even understood until Alyssa
was released from the mental hospital.
*****************************
I made you think you don't
understand.
I used to think that
happiness could only be something
That happened to somebody
else
Everybody believed,
everybody but me, yeah yeah
And I've been hurt so many
times before,
That my hope was dying, so
sick of trying
Everybody could see,
everybody but me, yeah yeah
But then you came into my
life, you opened up my softer side
And now I can see into your
eyes
And suddenly, I realize
I made you think you don't
understand
All the times you didn't
understand
Why you couldn't just be my
man
I made you think you don't
understand
There were many walls you
had to climb
If you really wanted to be
mine
I made you think you don't
understand
After all the hoops I put
you through
Now I see that I'm in love
with you
Now, I hope you finally
understand
*****************************
A knocking at
the front door brought John out of his thoughts. He walked over and opened it…There were his
brothers and their families…somehow they’d beaten Matt there. John got everyone settled and had some
coffee, tea and hot chocolate waiting for everyone. They got the presents and what not stuffed
under the tree. John stood staring out
the front windows of the house…He could remember when the doctor’s kept telling
Matt to stop Alyssa’s suffering…She was never going to wake up…There was
nothing more the hospital or doctors could do for her.
Ultimately
they could let her live out the remainder of her life in a coma or Matt could
do the humane thing and let the doctors take her off life support. John remembered the exact moment he would
never see his sister smile again.
Granted he’d not seen her smile that much growing up…but once she was
with Matt he made her smile for no reason at all…Which is why he knew their
relationship would last until the end of time…No one could’ve for seen the
complications Alyssa would have with her first pregnancy. Another knock pulled John from his thoughts
again.
*****************************
So many tears I had to cry
But you had many more of
your own you had to dry
But you stuck it out and
you're here with me now, yeah yeah
And rememberin' the days I
pushed away your love
You called my bluff and you
still stayed around
Yeah you figured me out
Said, you got me down
And there's no way to lie to
you
You know me better than I do
Baby, ooh, you see me
through
I'd be no good without you
I made you think you don't
understand
All the times you didn't
understand
Why you couldn't just be my
man
I made you think you don't
understand
There were many walls you
had to climb (yeah)
If you really wanted to be
mine (ooh)
I made you think you don't
understand
After all the hoops I put
you through (through)
Now I see that I'm in love
with you
Now, I hope you finally
understand
Yeah, Oooh
Baby, won't you listen now
Can't you see just what I'm
talking about?
Said baby won't you listen
now
Can't you see just what I'm
talking about?
*****************************
John opened
the door and a tall figure with their back to him turned around and smiled
big. John said, “God damn Aly it’s about
time you got your ass here…Every one else is already here…waiting on you
guys…Tell that old man of yours to let you drive next time.” As he pulled his sister into a gigantic hug. Matt walked in with the car seat and a warm
sleeping Christopher Matthew Hardy. John
immediately pushed Aly aside and grabbed his nephew from Matt as they unloaded
their bags and coats…Trying to get warmed up.
They joined everyone in the den around the Christmas tree talking and
just catching up.
Aly’s motherly
ears kicked in when she heard Christopher starting to fuss in the other room,
which meant he was ready to get up. Matt
stood up and helped Aly to her feet and she walked off to the other room. John said, “How’s she doing?” Matt said, “The 4 month coma really took a
lot out of her body…She’s had to get all her muscle strength back in physical
therapy…she has a hard time standing up some times when her legs are really
tired…but other then that the doctors are calling her a miracle.” John nodded in agreement...
*****************************
Time went on…and I was wrong
To keep my distance for so
long
So afraid, you wouldn't stay
But you never turned away
Always right…by my side
You're for ever in my life
Don't you go…
'Cause now I know
That in you I found a home
Now I can see into your eyes
Suddenly, I realize
I made you think you don't
understand
All the times you didn't
understand
Why you couldn't just be my
man
I made you think you don't
understand
There were many walls you
had to climb
If you really wanted to be
mine
I made you think you don't
understand
After all the hoops I put
you through
Now I see that I'm in love
with you
I made you think you don't
understand…
*****************************
John watched
as Aly came walking in carrying her son…cradling him against her chest…he was
still pretty tiny for being 5 months old…the doctors said it was just because
he was a premature baby…Some preme’s didn’t live that long, but he imagine if
he was half the fighter his mom was he’d be just fine. John remembered back all of them were
standing around her bed as the doctor’s started turning the machines off…only
the heart monitor didn’t flat line like it was supposed to…They waited for 30
minutes and still no flat line…in fact the doctor started examining her and she
was breathing on her own…Come to find out all she needed was a little push to
make her breathe on her own…3 hours later she woke up and asked for Matt.
John said,
“Gimmie my little man there.” Aly
laughed as she handed over Christopher to her uncle and she laid back against
Matt…She knew she’d put him through some crazy shit and had even made him feel
like he didn’t understand anything she’d been through her whole life…but she
was wrong. He understood her. Something her parents cared not to try and
do…but Matt did…He did with everything in his heart and soul and he was to her
the perfect husband. Which is all she
really wanted in life was someone to just…understand her.
The End.