Chapter 1


This is my story…and my fight to remember who I was, where I came from…and in a very short time how one man found enough courage to let himself love again…


My name is Cassandra Jean Malone.  I just know when I die on my tombstone it will say ‘impossible relationships’…Just because I couldn’t get a relationship to work even if I begged it…and my latest one was scary as hell…I’ve known Tony my whole life…he went from being my best friend to my boyfriend to my prison guard…and I went from his crush to his girlfriend to his prisoner…Lately he likes to belittle me in front of his friends…I really have to watch my smart mouth around him, cause he will beat the crap out of me, without a second thought.


I’m actually 5’10” and weight 115lbs…I used to weight more but with the way Tony’s been treating me lately…I guess you could call not eating a form of self torture…sometimes when he lays into me…I just can’t wait to die…but he’s not dumb enough to beat me so bad I die…I also have deep blue eyes and brown hair with blonde highlights all through it…it goes down to my waist…Tony just loves dragging me around the house by my hair…one of these days I’ll get up the nerve to cut it…I hate cutting my hair…but if it keeps Tony’s hands out of it…anything is worth it.


Tonight he seems to be in true form…I can hear him and his best friend out in the living room laughing…I know they are both drunk…he just said bye to his friend…what a moron he’s gonna actually try driving home drunk.  I walked out of the bedroom and the living room was trashed…there was broken bottles all over the hardwood floors and into the kitchen…the glass from the coffee table was stained with beer bottle rings and beer cans all over the couch…it smelled like a saloon…they had been smoking cigarettes and weed for the last 13 hours…it was almost 3 am. 


I decided to go ahead and clean up…I was going to be the one to be forced to clean it up anyways.  Tony was sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table…I walked in front of the TV to start picking up the stuff and Tony jumped up and said, “God Damn it Cassandra stay out of from in front of the fuckin’ TV.”  I said, “Why don’t you dry up you fucking lush…”  Tony said, “What did you say to me?”  I said, “You heard me…if you wouldn’t spend all night drinking and smoking this shit (as I threw the ash tray at him) you wouldn’t sleep all God Damn day and you’d be able to get your lazy fucking ass a job to support yourself…instead of living off your girlfriends money…you lazy piece of shit.”


Tony stood up brushing the ashes off himself.  And walked over to me and grabbed my by the arm as hard as he could…he said, “I want you to shut your fuckin’ mouth and clean this fucking place up.”  I said, “No…Tony…You made the mess…get off your dead ass and do it yourself.  If you do a really good job…Maybe I’ll make you my cleaning lady and pay you…then I guess you’ll have something to write home about to mommy and daddy…you got your first job as an adult…how nice!”


Tony shoved me and I fell back and crashed through the glass coffee table…Thank god no glass went through my clothes…I had hit my head on the thick glass table and was starting to get a head ache…I had a few cuts on my elbows, where I tried not to land on my hands…I could feel a couple of pieces of glass in my feet…I looked down and the red blood was soaking into the white carpet…I moved around and Tony kicked at my leg, he didn’t do it hard he was just patronizing me…he said, “See…I told you to watch that smart ass mouth of yours…now I’m going to fix it so it doesn’t hold food.”


Tony started stalking after me and took his belt off and started undoing his pants…I was pushing myself back with my feet and hands, trying to move away from Tony…I didn’t realize it until it was too late…I had my hands all bloody from the broken beer bottles on the floor…my feet were just as bad…my whole body was numb from the pain…I swear I couldn’t feel anything…the closer Tony got to me…the more scared I got…as soon as he was standing over my knees…I said, “You know some thing Tony…”  Tony grinned evilly at me and said, “What princess?”  I said, “We’re through.”


Tony said, “Oh yea…who says?”  I smiled and said, “Me asshole.”  I reared my leg back and kicked Tony in the balls as hard as I could with the heel of my foot…I rolled away as Tony practically fell on me screeching at the top of his lungs about me being a bitch and when he got his hands on me…he was going to kill me…I grabbed my wallet shoved it in my back pocket and my cell phone and ignoring the pain racking through my whole body…I took off out the front door bare feet and all…


It had been raining all day and this night was no different the rain hadn’t let up any since I got back home from work…I was drenched as soon as I stepped on to the porch…I could hear Tony stirring in the house…I figured it was now or never…I didn’t care how much I was hurting I had to get away NOW…I jumped off the porch about the time Tony crashed through the screen door and out into the rain, he was holding something in his hand…I didn’t realize what it was until I started feeling the sharp pains going through my arms and a couple in my legs…


The Son of a Bitch was shooting his bb gun at me…that fucker…I kept running though…I had to…


Chapter 2


Mark was finally glad to be going home…it had been a long tiring 5 months…Vince was definitely trying to kill him…it was going to be great to have the next couple of months off…his joints and muscles were so tired…The first thing he wanted to do was soak in a hot tub and sleep in his own bed…of course he also couldn’t wait to see the boys…


His bullmastiffs the only thing left from his nasty ass divorce, other then the house…there was no way in hell his ex wife was going to get the house…he’s had that house from the beginning of his career and he was planning on dying in it…he didn’t care if she took half his money and a couple of his Harleys…the house and the dogs were his…


Mark was staring through the windshield, watching as the rain fell down around his massive truck… “What the fuck is up with the god damn rain…man…I feel like I’m in a damn monsoon.”


I’d been running for about 20 minutes…I didn’t even realize I was crossing an asphalt covered road until I came face to Chrome Grill Cover…whoever it was driving slammed on his brakes and the truck actually hydroplaned into me.  I actually jumped up so the truck wouldn’t hit me in the face…when the truck stopped; I flew back and fell to the ground as the darkness consumed me…


Mark’s heart was pounding and his pulse had quickened…holy shit…he didn’t just actually run over a person did he?  Maybe he was dreaming and it was a dear or something…with all that hair…wildebeest?  Nah…shit.  Mark got out of his truck and went over to the front of his truck…there was the skinniest girl he’d ever seen…Her hands and feet were covered in blood…he couldn’t imagined he hit her that hard…Mark squatted down and made sure she still had a pulse…thank god she did…He hadn’t even seen her until it was too late…


Mark picked her up…god she weighted less then sack of potatoes…Jesus…she had to have had anorexia…Mark placed the poor girl in his truck and jumped in and flipped a U turn and headed back over to where the hospital was…he carried the girl inside and while the doctors and nurses did what they could to help, Mark called the Sheriff.  Once the sheriff got there they talked and Mark told him what happened…


I woke up with a pounding headache…I opened my eyes and there were a whole bunch of strange people surrounding me…I didn’t know who they were or what they wanted…but I was definitely getting the hell out of there…I started trying to pull off the wires they had attached to me…and they grabbed a hold of me and I was trying to fight them…I finally jumped up and ran over to the corner…I had immense pain in my feet and hands…and I just huddled in the corner.


Mark heard some noises coming from the ER…he walked over and saw the girl huddled in the corner…Mark walked over and squatted down in front of her…she was staring at him like a dear caught in the head lights.


When that huge man came over in front of me…I was just staring at him…he had a deep voice with a southern accent to it…and had a bunch of funny designs all over his arms…he said, “C’mon girl…they aren’t gonna hurt ya…I promise…they are just trying to help ya…look you’re bleeding…C’mon, I won’t let them hurt ya….what’s your name?”


I looked at him like he was crazy…what was my name?  Come to think of it…what was my name?  I shook my head no…A lady in a blue colored outfit walked over and said, “Mr. Callaway, we found this wallet on her…it has her drivers license in it…it says her name is Cassandra…and that she’s 22.”  The guys looked at me and said, “Cassandra…how about we just call you Sandra for short okay Darlin’?”  I just shrugged my shoulders…He said, “Okay…Sandra, My name is Mark…I promise they won’t hurt you…will you trust me enough to let them help you?”  The large man held out his hand to me…he said, “Would you feel safer if I stayed with you?”


Just above a whisper, Mark heard her say, “Please.”  Mark finally realized she was terrified.  Mark laughed a little and said, “C’mon, I’ll stay with you…”


I slowly took his hand and he helped me stand up and then picked me up and sat me on a table…His voice was so deep, but it was soothing…he said, “Now, you let these folks help you…they aren’t going to hurt you…I will be right over here talking to the Sheriff.  I won’t leave the room.”  I slowly nodded.


Chapter 3


About an hour later…the nurses had me talking and they took me to X-ray…brought me back and pulled some metal round balls out of my arms and legs…I didn’t even know they were in me…wow…that was weird…I wonder what they were? 


Doctor gave me a shot…said it was something to help me sleep through the night…that big guy Mark…was standing by me…I wasn’t to pleased with getting a needle suck in me…and Mark had his arm around me…They took me down into a huge white room with a bed…as soon as my head hit the pillow…I was out.


Mark watched as the girls breathing slowed…and her body relaxed…poor thing…she had to have been exhausted.  The doctor poked his head in and said, “Mark, Can I see you for a minute?”  Mark looked up and said, “Sure doc.”  Mark walked around the bed and pulled the covers over the girl’s shoulders…she snuggled into the warmth. 


Mark walked out into the hall and the doctor had him follow him down the hall…The doctor walked into a room and turned on the x-ray reading machine and Mark said…what the hell are those little things in her?”


The doctor said, “They were metal bb’s…we also took out of her hands and feet any where from 30 to 40 pieces of glass…they were brown…they looked like they were from beer bottles…I don’t know what she went through tonight…but whatever it was…she’s got amnesia…I don’t know whether it is going to be permanent or temporary.” 


Mark said, “When will you know Doc?”  Doc said, “It can last anywhere from a few hours to a couple of years.”  Mark said, “What is going to happen to her if no one files a missing persons report on her?”  The doc said, “I dunno…I guess that would be up to you and the sheriff...”


Mark said, “Well…I want all her hospital bills sent to me, if no one files the report on her…I can’t imagine what she’s going through…she doesn’t remember who she is…or anything…You know something I’m gonna talk to Sheriff Leon…if no one files the report by the time you guys release her…I’m gonna take her home with me…I’ve got that huge ranch out there…I have plenty of room…she can relax all day if she wants or ride the horse…hell she can go swimming if she wants…I can give her anything she’ll need…it will be a good place for her to heal up at…”


Doc said, “That’s not a bad idea…I can come out there on a weekly basis and check up on her…what about when you have to go back on the road?”  Mark said, “Well…I won’t be going back for a couple of months…maybe she’ll have her memory back by then…hell if not…I’ll figure something out.”  Doc said, “I think this is a real nice thing you’re doing for this girl Mark…she needs some kindness…lord knows she could use it.” 


Mark said, “Can you guys check her clothes for sizes…Jeans, panties, shirt, bra…I’m gonna run to the 24 hour Wal-mart and pick her up a few things so she’s got something to wear other then those blue scrubs you guys gave her…granted she does look cute in them…but she’ll need more then that.”  Doc said, “I’ll have Tammy check it out for you and write it all down…”


After Mark got all the sizes he needed he had the nurse sit with me while I was sleeping and he ran down to the Wal-mart and picked up about 4 pairs of jeans, 4 pairs of exercise pants, a couple of tanks tops and some t-shirts, couple of packages of socks, panties and he had a sales lady help him with bra sizes…she looked at him funny…when he explained the situation…she smiled and said he was a sweet heart…and then helped him…he also grabbed a couple pairs of tenny shoes and a pair of steel toed boots…he also grabbed a hair brush, toothbrush, some hair ties, ladies deodorant, shampoo and conditioner…he even grabbed a couple of bottles of nail polish, cotton balls and nail polish remover…he’d seen her toenails were blue…if she needed make up or anything else personal…he’d take her someone to pick it up.


By the time he got back it was about 5 am…Tammy left the room…and Mark checked on the girl…she was still out…he sat in the chair and fell asleep soon.


Chapter 4


In the morning, I woke up and looked next to the bed…and that big guy Mark was still there…he’d fallen asleep…I didn’t have a clue who he was…hell I didn’t even know who I was…but he said me name was Sandra…cute…he’s deep southern accented voice was soothing to me…and he was gentle…I looked at the clock on the wall it was about 5 am…I looked down and still had on that pretty blue pants and top the other ladies had been wearing.


I couldn’t go back to sleep…I slowly crept out of bed and moved my IV stand with me, and climbed into his lap…lord but he was a huge individual.  I looked up at him and stared for a minute and then laid my head on his chest, I felt so small compare to him…I soon fell asleep against him…he was so warm…he radiated heat…kind of like sitting on a furnace. 


Mark started to stir and he could swear he felt something on his lap…he moved his head around to get the stiffness out and looked down…the poor little girl he thought…she must’ve gotten up this morning and climbed into his lap…damn if she didn’t look cute too…curled up into a ball, her long hair falling in front of her face as she was sound asleep.  He had subconsciously put his arms around her while he was sleeping…her feet and hands were still bandaged up…look like they had stopped bleeding finally…but looked like they had soaked up a good amount of blood…Mark gently stood up with her in his arms and sat her on the bed…


I felt myself slowly waking up and was being moved around…I had forgotten I got up and sat on the big guys lap…I opened my eyes as he placed me on the bed and freaked out a little and jumped into a squatting position on the bed…


Mark thought ‘Oh shit…I scared her to death.’…


I just looked at him…he said, “C’mon darlin, sit down…I was just going to go get a nurse to change your bandages…c’mon you’re safe with me…I wouldn’t hurt ya none, I promise.”  I slowly sat down and he walked out of the room for a minute…


The nurse came back and said, “Well good morning Ms. Malone…”  A little above a whisper the young girl said, “Good morning.”  She said, “I gather you slept well…since I came in earlier and saw you sleeping on the heater here.”  Mark laughed and said, “Ha, Ha Tammy…I didn’t even feel her sit on me…I was out cold.”  Tammy laughed and said, “She trusts you…I think its sweet.”  Barely above a whisper again the little thing said, “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to upset you.” 


I put my head down and stared at the floor.  Mark walked over to me and put his hand under my chin and raise my head to look at him and he said, “Darlin’, Don’t apologize…It’s the nicest way to wake up, with an Angel on my lap…there was no harm done…I ain’t upset…you shouldn’t be either…hell you can sleep on my lap anytime you want to.”  I smiled a little.


Mark felt his heart jump when she smiled…she had a beautiful smile…her eyes were big and haunting…they were the weirdest color of blue he’d ever seen…


A few minutes later the sheriff walked in and Mark said, “Hey Leon…anything?”  He said, “Nope…I guess she’s all yours…I’ll visit your place about once  week and call if there’s any change in her memory loss…”  The doctor came in next and checked the girl out…she was healing…slowly…but it was coming along. 


Chapter 5


After the nurse, the doctor and that guys in the funny outfit left…Mark came over and said, “Listen…No one has filed a missing persons report on you yet…The doctor is getting ready to release you from the hospital…and since I know you don’t have anywhere to go…I was going to ask if you’d like to come and stay with me…I live on a ranch about 45 mile out of town…it’s big, I have plenty of room…You can do whatever you’d like…You don’t have to come with me…of course I don’t know where’d you’d go…I don’t want you on the streets…so What’ca say darlin’?”


I looked up at him and he was pretty serious about it…I smiled and said, “Okay.”  Mark smiled…he had a great smile and said, “You’re sure?”  I nodded and said, “Sure.”


Mark nearly fell over when she smiled again…


Mark said, “Can I make a deal with you?”  I said, “What?”  Mark said, “You can do anything you want as long as you keep smiling like that.”  I could feel the blush go in my cheeks…and looked down.  Mark said, “Don’t get shy on me darlin’…”  I looked up, smiled and said, “Deal.” 


Mark said, “I hope you don’t mind…I got your clothes sizes from your old clothes and grabbed some stuff for you last night…so here’s some jeans, a tank top, socks, shoes…um…under thingy’s…” 


I couldn’t help but giggle a little…I said, “You mean panties?”  The blush immediately covered his cheeks and he handed me a plastic bag and said, “Sure…get dressed…I’ll check on you in 15 minutes.”  I giggled again and he looked at me and walked out of the room…


Mark couldn’t believe she giggled at him…twice…she had a cute laugh and her smile was so amazing…He wished there was some other way to help her remember who she was and where she came from…he knew he’d have to try and help her as much as possible.


I got dressed as fast as possible…and was tying my shoes when Mark walked back in…He said, “Everything fit okay?”  I got off the bed and stood in front of him and looked down at the clothes and said, “Yes.”  Mark said, “Okay…well let’s get going.”


Mark started to leave when I said, “Mark.”  He stopped and faced me and said, “Yea.”  I said, “Thank you.”  Mark said, “You’re welcome…c’mon let’s get going…I wanna get to the ranch before lunch time.”  I nodded and followed Mark out the door…I said my thanks and good-byes to the nurses and the doctor…


I was following Mark out to the parking lot…when we stopped in front of a huge silver pick up…oh yea, it was definitely made to fit him.  It was huge just like him…but it was beautiful…just like him.  Of course my next thought was… “How am I supposed to get up in that thing?”  Mark started laughing hard…and I felt myself blush and I said, “I said that out loud didn’t I?”  Mark said, “Afraid so darlin’…C’mon I’ll help ya up…”


I followed him to the passenger side and he opened the door and grabbed my waist and placed me in the truck with ease…and handed me, my seat belt…and I put it on…he said, “Comfy?”  I smiled and nodded.  Mark said, “Okay…Let’s go then girl.”  I watched him walk around and jumped in and we took off…I rolled the window down and was letting the wind whip through my hair…Mark laughed cause my hair was flying all over the cab of his truck.


Chapter 6


I hadn’t noticed until I looked over, but Mark had long hair…it was pulled in a low ponytail…I hadn’t even noticed it because of his bandana around his head…


Mark could feel her staring at him…he looked over and said, “What?”


I smiled and leaned over and tugged on his tail…he said, “The hair?”  I laughed and said, “Yea…I didn’t notice it before…it’s weird.”  Mark said, “Funny weird or just weird.”  I said, “I dunno…just weird I guess.”  Mark slowed the truck down and pulled up to some huge gates…leaned out and punched in a code and the gates came open and then once through closed behind us.


I was in awe…it was beautiful…the whole place was gorgeous…huge house, barn, gigantic garage,  acres and acres of green grass everywhere.


Mark said, “Now, Doc said, he wanted you to stay off your feet so they can heal…and not to mess with your hands…they showed me how to change the bandages, well do them once a day depending on how dirty they get…well do them at night after you’ve had a shower or bath…before you go to bed…also when we get ready to walk into the house…I’m going to carry you in…I have a couple of dogs who are pretty good size…they hate strangers…but they love women…with as big as they are…one look at you and they will knock you over with one wag of their tail.”


I said, “They aren’t mean are they?” 


Mark said, “Hell no…they will protect anyone sleeping on the property…but go after intruders…they are pretty harmless…like I said they love women…they won’t hurt you none…they are like big teddy bears.”  I said, “Okay.”  Mark parked the truck and got out…he came around to the passengers side and opened the door…Mark said, “Okay, Darlin’, put your arm around my neck I don’t want you to slip.”


I slowly put my arm around him and he lifted me with ease…and closed the door with his foot…and proceeded to carry me in the huge house…as soon as he walked in there was 3 huge dogs running at us, 2 black 1 tan…


Mark whistled really loud and they all came to a screeching halt…Mark walked over and sat on a huge black couch with me on his lap…He said, “I’m going to let them come over here one at a time and smell you…”  I nodded my approval.


Mark called them over one at a time…gave me their names…showed me they had name tags on their collars…Hades was the tan one…Mark said he was a bullmastiff…and the 2 black ones were Labradors.  Panic & Pain…Panic had white feet…and Pain had a white stripe between his eyes down to his nose…After they gave me a good once over…Mark took me upstairs, still not convinced they wouldn’t knock me over…


She showed me my room it was beautiful…four poster bed huge white canopy…my own bathroom…he put me down and as I said, “Should I take the bandages off when I shower?”  Mark said, “No you better not…well put clean ones on when you get out…you hop in the shower and I’ll run get those other clothes I grabbed for you.” 


I got in the shower…when I got out…Mark had everything sitting out…I put on a Tank top and cotton short and let Mark in to help me with the bandages…he was pretty gentle…I combed the knots out of my hair…and crawled into bed…I looked down and Hades had made himself comfortable on the floor next to my bed.  Mark said, “Goodnight Sandra.”  I smiled and said, “Night Mark.”  He shut the light off and closed the door…as soon as it was dark I was out like a light.


Chapter 7


In the morning…I woke up and got dressed…I left my hair down and the dogs never left my die…I walked down into the kitchen and Mark was sitting at his table reading the paper…He looked over and said, “Mornin’…You sleep good?”  I said, “Yea…did you?”  Mark smiled and said, “Well…what I did sleep yes…”  Mark got up and said, “You hungry?”  I nodded and he said, “Well…go ahead and have a seat…I’ll make ya some breakfast.”


Without thinking about it I said, “Just toast and coffee please.”  Mark said, “What?  Do you remember having that for breakfast…what made you think to ask that?”  I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I don’t know…Just something told me to ask for it.”  Mark said, “Well…that’s good, maybe it’s a sign you’re getting your memory back.”  I smiled and said, “I hope so…I want to remember who I am…”  Mark said, “Hopefully it won’t be to much longer…Doc said it was just temporary…but he couldn’t pin point how long it would take to get it back.” 


As Mark was making toast and pouring my coffee, I said, “Just the thought of not knowing who I am or where I come from…it’s weird…it scares me.”  Mark said, “Don’t let it scare you…eventually you’ll get your memory back…I’ll try and help you as much as I can…I promise…until you gain back your memory, we’ll just take it day by day.”  I said, “Thanks for everything Mark…I really appreciate it.”  Mark said, “Don’t thank me yet…you’ve only been here for one night…I’ll warn you now…In the mornings I can be a rather grouchy ass bear…Don’t pay me no mind…I might growl at you…but just brush me off…I won’t ever hurt you or anything.”


I said, “Thanks for the warning…”  Mark handed me the coffee and toast and I went ahead and ate…Mark said, “C’mon I’ll show you around the property.”  I smiled and put my dishes in the sink…and followed Mark…he showed me all over the house, and then outside to where the horses were, then took me into the garage and showed me his collection of Harley’s…I was in awe…


I said, “Do you actually ride all these?”  Mark said, “Most of them yes…there are a few that are collectors items…so I keep them under the tarps, so nothing scratches or dents them…I don’t ever ride those…I started them once or twice a year to make sure they still run…but since I’ve owned them, they’ve never been out of this garage.”  I said, “Cool.”  Mark said, “Maybe when you’re feeling up to it…I’ll take ya for a ride.”  I smiled and said, “I don’t think I’ve ever been on one before…so that should be interesting.”


We continued the tour and then we walked back in the house…Mark said, “Well…We do not have much in the house to make for lunch or dinner, so I’m going to run back into town and grab some groceries…you can come with if you’d like…or you can stay here with the boys…They seem to have taken to you fast…”  I said, “I think I’ll stay here…and get acquainted with the boys…and the other animals…”  Mark said, “That’s fine…I should be back in a couple of hours…I’m going to have my cell phone on me…if you can think of anything you need before I get back…the number is on the writing tablet by the telephone on the counter in the kitchen.”  I said, “Okay…I’ll be fine.”


Mark took off and as stated earlier he was back a couple of hours later…I wouldn’t know…I stretched out in the den on the floor with the boys and was watching some movie and fell asleep…


Mark put away the groceries…when he couldn’t find her anywhere…he got worried a little…but then when he whistled for the boys the only one who responded was Panic…Mark squatted down and scratched his ears and said, “Okay Panic…where is she?”  The dog walked back down the long hallway into the den and Mark followed…and saw Sandra and the other two dogs, Pain with his head laid across her stomach, and Hades was tangled in her legs with his head on her thigh…Panic walked back over and re-joined the group as he laid back down and Sandra wrapped her arm around Panic…


Mark smiled and said, “Traitors…”  And walked away to start some dinner.


A couple more hours later, Mark walked back down into the den and the lazy 4-some was still sleeping…Mark just shook his head at the group…but as tired as he felt honestly wouldn’t have minded joining them…except for the fact that if he fell asleep on the floor for 30 minutes or more…he’s body would kick his ass for it.  Mark woke her up and got the dogs off her…and they had a really nice dinner…just talking…trying too rocky her memory back.


After a few weeks…I would regain a little memory back…but not enough…like I remembered how to cook…so every once in a while Mark would allow me to cook something for him…I remembered what movies I loved…I remember which foods I hated…Little things…but not enough that I could get my life back…


Chapter 8


One night I was asleep…and the loud sound of lightening cracking and thunder booming across the sky woke me out of a dead sleep…I shot straight up in bed…the dogs were gone…they had probably taken off at the first sounds of the storm…Like I could blame them…I seriously contemplated sleeping for the rest of the night in the closet…I finally just pulled my knees into my chest and clapped my hands over my ears…I figured if I couldn’t hear it…it wouldn’t bother me.


Do you know how hard it is to even muffle the sound of thunder let alone block it out completely?  Yea…my plan didn’t work…Boy I feel sharp…about as sharp as an eraser.


Meanwhile, down the hall in Mark’s room…he got rolled on by 3 mysterious lumps…Mark sat up and yelled at all three of his attackers… “GOD DAMN IT!…HADES, PAIN, PANIC…Get out off the Fuckin’ bed…”  After the 3 culprits made their get away down the hall without getting Mark’s foot in their ass…Mark got up and heard the thunder… ‘damn dogs’…he thought… ‘I was dreaming about an angel…I wish I could have seen her face before those idiots jumped on me.’…


Mark got out of bed and went to the bathroom…he had to piss like a race horse…a clap of thunder screeched through the sky…it was a damn good thing he was peeing already…otherwise he would of pissed himself…that was loud and unexpected.  While he washed his hands he finally remembered, “Oh shit…Sandra.”  Mark dried his hands and pulled his sweats on and walked down the hall…he was going to knock…but if she wasn’t awake…he didn’t want to wake her up…he cracked the door open…and saw Sandra sitting up with her knee tight into her chest and her hands over her ears…He turned the light on and the closer he got to the bed, he saw her eyes clenched shut tightly…


I felt the bed dip…and thought I was gonna lose it…I could feel tears sliding down my cheeks…and I slowly opened my eyes…Mark was staring back at me…he touched my arm and said, “Darlin’ are you okay.”  I jumped up and threw my arms around his neck…I said, “Make it stop…please…make it stop…”


Mark felt her body trembling against his…and when he heard her pleading words his heart absolutely broke for her…He started rubbing her back and was trying to calm her down…he didn’t know what to do for her…He wanted to calm her down and get her back to sleep…he didn’t like hearing or seeing her so upset.


Mark said, “Darlin’  It’s just a thunder and lightening storm…you don’t have anything to be afraid of…it won’t hurt you…”  I said, “Mark, Please Make it stop…I don’t like it.”  Mark said, “I know you don’t like it…I wish I would make it stop…its just nature saying it’s probably going to rain tomorrow…c’mon now…just lay back down…c’mon Sandra calm down…”


Mark could tell talking was not doing any good…the louder it got outside the more she trembled against him…finally as a last ditch effort of calming her down…Mark said, “You wanna come lay with me…if you come lay with me chances are those 3 chicken shits will come back and keep you company with me…”  I looked at Mark said, “You wouldn’t mind?”  He smiled and said, “Nah…I hate sleeping alone anyway…”  Mark picked me up and shut the light off and carried me down to his room…His bed was huge…he sat me down and whistled for the dogs…who all came running as fast as possible…Mark held the covers open for me as I climbed in and settled and Mark climbed in next to me and settled…his bed was so warm…he was so warm…the dogs walked around and laid on the floor next to my side of the bed…


Mark ran his fingers through her hair…it was soft and silky…and it always smelled like strawberries…he rubbed her back to get her to stop trembling…when her breathing steadied…He knew she’d finally fallen asleep.


Chapter 9


In the morning…I woke up and had two huge tattooed arms around me…It was comfortable…but it also scared the shit out of me…cause I had forgotten all about the night before…I moved around a little and slipped out of bed…and scurried down the hall to shower and change with the boys hot on my heels…After I got dressed…I went down stairs and fed the boys while I started cooking breakfast.


It was nearly 9 and Mark never slept past 8…I poured him a cup of coffee and took it up to wake him…I walked in and Mark was laying on his side facing the door…I went over and sat the coffee down and walked into the bathroom and started his shower…and grabbed a couple of towels for him…I said, “Mark…Time to get up.”  He stirred a little and growled out a “Go away.”  In his husky groggy morning voice…I said, “I will not go away…and you can either get up and get your butt in that shower or I’m calling the boys up here to help wake your ass up.”


Mark said, “Are you threatening me?”  I said, “Are you challenging me?”  Mark said, “Don’t try my patience woman…go away and let me sleep.”  I said, “Don’t be a lazy butt…You never sleep past 8…it’s almost 9….Doc is gonna be here in an hour…and breakfast and your shower is getting cold…Move your ass.”  Mark said, “Get out…get out right now…get your skinny little ass out of my bed room…”  I said, “Oh…see you’ve already warned me about this big bad bear attitude…it’s not going to work on me…” 


I stepped out into the hallway and whistled loud…the dogs came barreling up the stages like a pack of elephants…and pushed past me and all three jumped on the bed and then Mark…I walked over and sat straddled on Mark’s stomach and said, “Dog pile.”  The dogs were desperately trying to get Mark up…


Mark’s eyes snapped open when he heard this intoxicating laughter in the room…he looked up and saw Sandra sitting across his stomach…her plan had back fired…the dogs were attacked her with licks…and she was laughing so hard.  Mark grabbed her around the waist and lifted her off him and planted her next to him and started tickling her…he could listen to her laugh for hours.


I finally had to squeal out, “I give up…I give up…”  Mark said, “You won’t ever try waking me up again will you?”  I didn’t answer and he started tickling me again and I said, “No…no…stop…I won’t…I promise.”  Mark patted my leg and got up and said, “Yea…that’s what I thought.”  I laid there and got all my giggles out as he strutted into the bathroom and closed the door to shower…


I went back downstairs and made sure breakfast was still warm.  Mark appeared stubble free, hair pulled back in a low ponytail, light blue jeans, black sleeveless button down shirt that said ‘Deadman Inc’ across the pocket.  Plus his boots plus a black baseball hat that also said ‘Deadman Inc’…


I motioned towards the table and said, “Sit down…it’s almost ready.”  Mark said, “Lemme run out and fed the boys first.”  I said, “It’s already been taken care of…”  Mark said, “Thanks Sandra.”  I said, “No problem.”  I brought over 2 plates with scrambled eggs and bacon with 2 pieces of toast…I set one in front of Mark with orange juice and refilled his coffee…and sat down next to him and we ate and discussed what we should do for the day…and cleaned the kitchen when we finished.


Chapter 10


While we were still at the table, I leaned over and touched the ‘Deadman Inc’ patch on his shirt and said, “What’s that Deadman Inc…Is that like a bikers club or something you belong too?”  Mark said, “No…it’s me…Maybe I should explain what I do for a living…I’m a professional wrestler for the World Wrestling Entertainment / formerly known as the WWF…The character I play is a little deep…a little dark and always mysterious…My character is called the Undertaker.”  I said, “Okay…That’s truly creepy…bordering on morbid…maybe even a little grotesque.” 


Mark laughed and said, “Yea well I’ve been the same character for 10 years.  I took 2 months off…I’m supposed to go back to work in 6 weeks…and if you’re memory still isn’t complete by then I would like for you to come on the road with me.”  I said, “Me?  Why?” 


Mark said, “I don’t think I can leave you here by your self…I already talked to Doc…and then also my boss…they think it would be good for you…Would you want to come with, cause if not I can see if you can stay with someone…”  I said, “No…I don’t mind…I think it would be cool to watch you do your job.”


The truth was…every time I was close to Mark I kept getting this feeling in the pit of my stomach and the closer I got to Mark, the stronger it got…if he touched me or I brushed up against him the feeling would have my senses reeling all through my body…way off the charts…I don’t think I wanted to be away from him.


The doctor came checked me out and said, I was doing really good…and that my hands and feet were fully healed…After the doc left…Mark said, “You wanna go for a ride on the bike?”  I smiled and said, “Please?”  Mark said, “Okay…go grab a jacket.”  I squealed as I ran upstairs and grabbed a jacket….and went back out and met Mark in the garage…I slipped my jacket on and pulled my hair up into a pony tail…Mark got on his bike and started it up…the low rumble in the garage gave me goose bumps…


Mark took my hand and helped me on behind him…I wasn’t sure where to hold on, so Mark grabbed my hands and pulled them around and put them on his chest…I almost died…I loved being that close to Mark…he smelled so good…kind of like leather, man and cologne…We slowly pulled out and as we turned onto the asphalt, Mark opened the throttle and I held on tighter…We rode for about 8 hours…stopped for some dinner and rode for another 3…it was so beautiful out…I just kept holding onto Mark…


We stopped at a cabin…Mark got off and said, “C’mon…we’re going to stay here for the night.”  I said, “Ok.”  Mark said, “It’s okay…I rent this cabin for this purpose…it’s an 11 hour drive back to the ranch…I’m beat…plus it’s late…we’ll go back in the morning.”  We walked in and Mark said, “Go ahead and take the bed…and I’ll sleep on the couch.”  I said, “No…I’ll be perfectly fine on the couch.”  Mark said, “How about this…the bed is huge…we’ll share it…we did it last night…we can do it again tonight.”  I said, “Good idea…”


Mark handed me a t-shirt and said, “Here sleep in this.”  Mark walked away as I changed in the bathroom…when I came out he had on a pair of sweats, and was already laying in bed…he was on his back with his hands clasped behind his head…I walked around the bed and turned the light off…and climbed into bed…I was on my side facing Mark…and I said, “Thanks for the ride today Mark…I had so much fun.”  Mark said, “I’m glad…”  I could see him…there was enough like from the moon shining in the room to light it up.


Mark felt the bed move a little he looked over and she was shivering…she must’ve been cold…he grabbed her and pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arm around her…her tiny hand came out and touched his chest…SHIT…her hands were like ice.


Mark thought I was shivering cause I was cold…My hands are cold…but the rest of me is nervous being so close to him…if I hadn’t been so tired the freaked out the night before during the storm…I would have been shivering while being that close to Mark then too…Sleep over came both of us…somewhere in the middle of the night…Mark’s arm got tighter around me…and I moved my head to his shoulder…it felt right…maybe in my life I was really with him…and he didn’t want to say anything…


Chapter 11


In the morning…I slowly awoke from a wonderful dream…I opened my eyes and those two familiar tattooed arms were around me again…Mark was spooned in behind me…my back was tight against his chest…my head was tucked into the crook of his neck…and his laid back breathing brushing against my ear was doing things to my body that was unimaginable…


I didn’t know what I was feeling for this man…I didn’t even know if it was okay to be feeling this way…The more time I spent with him…the more I dreaded my memory coming back…but at the same time…I didn’t know if I was married and had kids somewhere…was Houston my home town?  Was there a family looking for me? 


All these questions with little to no answer…it was very frustrating…I wanted to know who I was…but at the same time…I liked being able to get to know myself all over again…


Did I graduate High school?  Had I gone to college?  Gotten married?  Had babies?  Brothers or sisters?  Was it okay for me to be feeling this way about a man I didn’t even know anything about?  I was so confused…about my feelings for Mark…but I loved the way he made me feel so protected and safe…I loved it…I couldn’t even believe he had put up with my nonsense about the storm the night before…I was truly terrified…maybe that was one of my fears and I just couldn’t remember it…


Before I realized it…while doing some random thinking I had started tracing the tattoos on Mark’s arms with my fingertips…studying his tattoos while deep in thought. 


Mark started to stir…he could feel someone touching his forearms and wrists…he opened his eyes and blinked a little and watched as Sandra was tracing his tattoos…he loved how light and feathery her touch was on his skin…but at the same time…when ever she would touch a different line to a tattoo, his skin felt like it was being lit on fire…her soft touch was slowly awakening his body…


I felt Mark move around a little and his deep groggy voice said, “You keep doing that, and I’ll never want to get up today.”  I pulled my hands away and said, “Sorry…I guess I didn’t realize I was doing it.”  Mark took my hand and put it back on his arm and said, “I don’t mind…it was a nice way to wake up…I don’t feel like getting out of bed right now anyway…You wasn’t doing any harm.” 


I smiled to myself and continued tracing again…his skin was warm to the touch and I shared his feelings on not wanting to get out of bed yet either…We laid there and actually fell asleep again…in the middle of sleeping…I turned over and had my head was against Mark’s chest…


Mark woke up before her this time…he looked down and noticed she had her hands tucked between their chests, curled against him with his arms still around her…her neck was perfectly exposed…he chewed on his bottom lip for a minute contemplating and thinking about what he was wanting to do to her…he finally gave up to the urge inside him and leaned his head down and started placing soft kisses on the side of her neck…


At first I thought I was dreaming…but then my eyes shot open and I know I could feel his go-tee brushing against my neck and it tickled…but at the same time I could feel the kisses he was planting on my neck…it felt so good…I didn’t know what to do…


I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the feeling he was giving my whole body…I wouldn’t mind being woken up like that ever again…I couldn’t help it when my body started responding to his lips…I moved slightly letting him have better access to my neck…I let a small ½ moan, ½ sigh escaped my lips…


Chapter 12


I finally broken the silence and moaned out his name, “Mmm Mark.”  Mark didn’t stop what he was doing…he continued to kiss, lick and nip the tender and ultra sensitive flesh on my neck and said, “What sweetie?”  I said, “Mmm…the feels so good.”  Mark said, “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”  Mark started to move to the front of my neck and I leaned my head back for full access…his lips trailed across my throat…I could feel my breathing getting labored…


Mark had pulled one of my knees up to his hips and his hand was slowly sliding up and down my thigh from my knee to my butt…When his hand was sliding to my butt, his fingers would slide under the elastic of my panties…and his soft hands were so gentle with his caresses…How could I be feeling so much pleasure when he hadn’t even touched my own lips yet…I could feel my insides responding to every touch, every kiss, every lick, every nip…it was an amazing feeling…I could literally feel it throughout my whole body.


Mark finally made his way up and kissed both my eyes, my nose and then softly brushed his lips against mine…I felt his tongue touch my bottom lip and he slowly caressed my lips apart and snaked his tongue into my mouth…and as his tongue felt around for mine…I couldn’t help but moan into his mouth…as his tongue found mine and started caressing it also.


When Mark pulled away he looked deep into my eyes and said, “I better stop before I can’t stop…Maybe it’s time to get up…we should get back on the road if we want to make it back to the ranch while it’s still light out…”  I nipped on my bottom lip and just nodded as I got out of bed, grabbed my clothes and went into the bathroom and showered and changed…


I looked at myself in the mirror…my lips were puffy and swollen from Mark’s kiss…what the hell was I think…Mark could easily hurt me…he could be some deranged lunatic…and I wouldn’t even know it until after I was dead.  Forget it…you’re just being paranoid…Mark was a sweet guy…wasn’t too bad of a kisser either…the assault on my lips and neck left me with shivers up and down my spine…


I walked out of the bathroom and Mark was dressed and sitting on the bed.  Mark stood up…I never noticed how much he towered over me…I felt like an innocent little girl…he was at least a good foot or more over my head…Mark said, “You ready?”  I just nodded again…Mark walked out of the room and I sighed heavy and followed him…I didn’t know if what we did was bad…or maybe he didn’t like it…I couldn’t read him…he was so straight faced about it…I just kept quiet and to myself…


Mark locked up the cabin…and started up his bike…and let it warm up a little before he helped me on…I didn’t know if I wanted him touching me or not…so without him doing it, I just wrapped my arms around his waist, instead of his chest this time…We took off..


I don’t know if it was because I had amnesia…or if I had the sense before the memory loss…but as soon as Mark and I stopped kissing…and looked at him…I could feel it in my body…he was scared…of what I didn’t know…After we rode for about 4 hours, we stopped and Mark said, “I thought we’d stop and get something to eat.”  I said, “That’s fine.”  We walked inside and sat down…all I ordered was a salad and water…


Mark crossed his arms across his chest and watched as she pulled her knees up to her chest and stared out the window…She was running her finger tips across her lips…Mark was watching her…He knew he shouldn’t have kissed her…he didn’t want to get attached to her, incase her memory finally came back, and she had a boyfriend somewhere…he knew getting attached to her would just prove for heart ache later…he wasn’t about to put himself through that again…


It was bad enough he already had 2 failed marriages…shit…‘Impossible Relationships’ should be tattooed on him somewhere…shit he had everything else tattooed on him…why not that big warning sign for sweet girls like Sandra…Hell, he’d already been branded with Sara’s name…when things just didn’t seem to work out, because Sara didn’t fully understand what his job was like…he went and got that tattoo removed…after all the pain of getting it put on…it was the most painful tattoo he’d ever gotten…what the hell was he thinking having it put across his throat…he wasn’t about to leave it there as a big red flag to other women…


Mark could just feel himself being drawn into Sandra…he wanted to pull her out of the seat, through her over his shoulder and carry her off some place to make love to her…he didn’t know if she was a virgin or hell, she could of even been a lesbian for all he knew…she could be married with some kids somewhere…he just didn’t want to get attached…he was really hoping above all else…that she’d hurry up get her memory back say she was married with 500 babies…and go back to her husband and litter before he had another chance to get to close…he decided he would just distance himself from her for the duration of her stay with him…


Chapter 13


Mark had made that decision to stay away from Sandra…but he felt like he was alienating her at the same time…he didn’t want her to feel like she couldn’t come to him and talk…she had obviously made the same decision…her memory was coming back more and more on a weekly basis…but nothing about remembering who she was or where she was from. 


After a few more weeks…the Sheriff had caught a lucky break…someone had sold a bright blue ford Mustang to a dealer in town…when the plates were checked on it…it was registered in Sandra’s name…when the sheriff went to the address of the person who sold the car to the dealership to question the guy, the house had been boarded up…it was a fairly new house…but it looked like it had been abandoned for a few weeks…maybe a couple of months…


When Mark found out about the house…he thought it would be a good idea to take Sandra there and see if it would trigger her memory…so they arranged a meeting time…they didn’t tell Sandra until Mark pulled up in front of the house with her in his truck.


I looked at the house and said, “Mark, why are we here?”  Mark got out and helped me down and said, “This address is on your drivers license and they found a car that was registered in your name to this address also…me and the sheriff just figured it would help for you to look around a little.”  I felt really weird being by this house…I could feel something…I just didn’t know what it was…


The sheriff took down the boards covering the door and the windows to let a little light in the place…as we were walking across the lawn to the front door…I stopped…when Mark noticed I was behind him he turned around and saw me staring at the concrete sidewalk in front of the steps to the house…


Mark said, “Sandra, what is it?”  I pointed at the sidewalk…Mark walked back down the steps and saw the dried blood footprint that was there…he knew the same thing I did…it was mine.


Mark put his hand in the small of my back and said, “C’mon…let’s go inside.”  I walked up the porch steps…and into the house, very slowly…I looked around…there was hard wood floors through the downstairs rooms…like at Mark’s house…a huge white rug in the living room…but no furniture…the resemblance of what looked like to be a glass coffee table…but the glass was shattered…I grabbed onto Mark when I looked closer at the rug there was dried blood all over it…broken beer bottles all over…


There were two thin trails of blood that went across the white carpet rug to the hard wood floors…and more dried blood on the hard wood floor…I walked into the kitchen minding all the broken glass…there were a couple of dried bloody hand prints on the light wood stained kitchen cabinets…I knew it was my blood…


Mark came over and said, “C’mon…let’s go look upstairs…”  I went up there with him and we came to the first room, it was a bathroom…it had a plastic shoe box full of make up, face cleaners, hair brushed, hair ties, and a little round plastic bottle of jewelry cleaner with rings and necklaces still in it.


We left the bathroom and went down to another room…it was a bedroom…we walked in and Sheriff Leon opened a window for some light…carved on the back of a closed closet door it said: Anthony & Cassandra…I ran my finger over the groves in the wood and looked at it…I slowly turned the knob and opened the door…there was clothes upon clothes upon more clothes…the closet was huge…I walked in and all the shoes were in clear plastic boxes with Polaroid’s of the shoes on the outside.


Chapter 14


Random thought I said, “I did that so, I’d know which pair of shoes were in the box.”  I ran my finger along the lines of clothing and said, “I kept every piece of clothing according to size, color, and piece…short skirts, long skirts, tank tops, t-shirts, jeans, shorts, short dresses, long dresses, dress shirts, dress pants, summer dresses, hooded sweatshirts, sweatshirts without hoods, sweaters…it’s all hear…but why would I leave it all behind me…”  I had a few tears slide down my cheeks…


Sheriff Leon said, “I’ll have the boys pack this stuff in a couple of boxes for you…at least you’ll have clothes, shoes and make up now.”  One of the officers came up stairs and said, “Sir, we found this purse in the freezer in the garage.”  Sheriff Leon handed it to me…and I opened it…it had disks, my extra pocket book in it with my checks…at least I had a bank account…it had an extra ID…and a set of keys…I couldn’t remember what the keys were too…plus my cell phone…it was still working.


I looked around a little more upstairs and then went back downstairs and was looking at the blood on the white rug…I felt two hands on my shoulders…I looked up and it was Mark…he said, “Anything?”  I said, “No.”  I had huge tears sliding down my cheeks, cause I could vaguely remember, but I couldn’t put it into words…it was like things kept running through my mind…but I only saw flashes, not enough to piece things together to answer my questions….of course my set of questions was much different then the people around me…Mark said, “Don’t worry about it Sandra, it will come back when you least expect it.”


When we got back to Marks…the officers were there about 15 minutes later, and brought in 3 big boxes that had all my clothes and shoes…Mark just had the officers put them in the living room…They also managed to bring me back my car…They just parked it in the driveway and put the cover over it…I walked in and was looking through the boxes…trying to remember the familiar scents…Mark was reading the paper in his huge over stuffed chair in the living room while I looked through them.  I got frustrated…and stood up…I said, “Mark, do you mind if I put one of your CD’s on?”  Mark said, “No…go ahead.”


I walked over to the stereo and picked up a few CD’s and looked through them…I don’t know why, but one just seemed to jump out at me…it said : Aerosmith…Little South of Sanity…For some reason the guys on the front of the CD cover looked familiar…the guy had a gas pump nozzle in his hand, a blue jean hat on and a royal blue button up gas attendant shirt on that had a yellow pair of wings on it…with that same Aerosmith logo…it was a patch on the left side and a name patch on the other side…I opened it…it was a double CD…and almost as if willed…I put the first CD in and automatically went to track number 10…it was called Angel…


I sat on the couch looking at the boxes as the song started…


I'm alone
Yeah I don't know if I can face the night
I'm in tears
And the cryin that I do is for you
I want your love
Let's break the wall between us
Don't make it tough
I'll put away my pride
I've suffered and I've seen the light


Baby, you're my angel
Come and save me tonight
You're my angel
Come and make it alright


Don't know what I'm gonna do…yeah-yeah
About this feeling inside
Yes, it's true
Loneliness took me for a ride, yeah yeah-yeah
Without your love
I'm nothin but a beggar
Without your love
A dog without a bone
What can I do
I'm sleepin’ in this bed alone


Baby, you're my angel
Come and save me tonight
You're my angel
Come and make it alright
Come and save me tonight


You're the reason I live
You're the reason I die
You're the reason I give
When I break down and cry
Don't need no reason why


Baby, baby, baby
You're my angel
Come and save me tonight
You're my angel
Come and make it alright
Yea…You're my angel
Come and save me tonight
Pretty little girl
You're my angel
Come and take me for a ride


Come and save me to……
Come and save me tonight
Come and save me tonight
Come and save me tonight
Come and save me tonight


Yea, yea-yea…yea-yea…



Chapter 15


As soon as the song was over…I walked back over and looked at the CD case again…and shut the stereo off…and Mark looked up and said, “What’s wrong?”  I said, “Something about this shirt that this guy is wearing is really making me think…it looked so familiar…”  Mark came over and looked at the cover and said, “It’s just a mechanic’s shirt…There can’t be that much special about it.”  I looked at a little more…and finally it clicked in my head…I handed the CD to Mark and walked over to the box furthest away from us and dug through it…Mark said, “Sandra, what are you doing?”  As I stood up and said, “I knew I remembered that shirt from somewhere…” 


I held the same exact shirt up against me and said, “I just had to think really hard…I finally remembered…I love Aerosmith…the very first concert I went to was Aerosmith…when that CD came out…I loved it cause it has all the songs played live…and I was online one night checking out E-Bay…And the guy on the cover was selling this shirt to a die hard devoted Aerosmith fan…when I told him I had been to over 300 Aerosmith concerts he sold it to me for 15 bucks…”


Mark said, “Can you remember anything else?”  I said, “No…but at least that’s one thing.”  Mark came over to me and gave me a hug…I was happy that I had finally remembered something big…I pulled away from Mark and just walked away…I walked out the back down and down the middle of the back of the property…followed by the boys…


Mark couldn’t imagine what made her pull away like that…he just watched as he walked up the middle of his property.  He would definitely have to talk to her later…and see what was bothering her…suddenly he remember how he’d treated her for the last couple of weeks…he cursed himself for being such a jerk after all the pleasure he’d given her up at the cabin…here he was acting like he didn’t want anything to do with her…and when she finally starts to remember something…he hugs her like he doesn’t want to ever let go.


All I could think was…what the hell is up with him…he hadn’t touched her in weeks…and now he hugs her…but of course nothing could compare to the feelings exchanged at the cabin…it felt so good to be in his arms the morning at the cabin…and then he just stopped…and acted like he didn’t want to and that it was a mistake…I just don’t get it.  Maybe it was me…whatever happened to me to make me get amnesia…I deserved it…I sat under a tree…and started thinking…I actually fell asleep for an hour…I dreamt about every thing that had happened that night…I sat straight up and my breathing was labored…I said, “Son of a Bitch…Tony you asshole…”


As I walked back to the house…I cried…I hated Tony for parts of my life he’d taken away…but I also knew I was in love with Mark…but I knew I’d have to tell Mar the truth eventually…I knew if I was going to love Mark any way possibly I would have to tell him everything I knew.  How the hell was I supposed to tell Mark…I knew that being truthful was the only way to go…but…what would Mark say??


I walked back up and went through the back doors…the boys came in the house and took off through the house looking for Mark…he would know I was back as soon as he spotted the dogs…I stayed in the kitchen and just tried to start dinner…I was cutting vegetables…I heard Mark walk in cause of his boots on the hard wood floors…


He walked up behind me and said, “Sandra…I wanted to apologize for the way I’ve behaved for the last couple of weeks…I know I haven’t been the easiest person to get along with, especially when you’re staying my house.”  I said, “What part are you sorry for?  Making me feel this way about you…making me feel special up at the cabin…or the way I felt so low afterwards because you just had this look on your face like you shouldn’t have done it…”  Mark said, “I don’t know if I’m sorry about  what happened at the cabin or not…I know I enjoyed it…but I don’t know if it was the right thing to do…”


Chapter 16


I turned around and said, “What the right thing Mark?”  Mark said, “I just didn’t want to get attached to you, incase you had someone some where else.”  I said, “Attached?  Mark you get attached to dogs…you fall in love with people…last time I checked I wasn’t a dog…”  Mark said, “I know the difference between a human and a dog Sandra…I don’t mean attached in that sense of the word…I was having extremely strong feelings for someone I didn’t even fully know…hell, at the time you knew VERY little about yourself also…”  I said, “Even if…I let you do that to me…wouldn’t that be some kind of sign that I was reciprocating your feelings just a little?”


Without saying a word…Mark grabbed me and captured my lips with his…I didn’t even think twice about kissing him back…I just did…it felt so good to have his lips touching mine again…Mark’s tongue automatically snaked into my mouth and sucked and caressed my tongue…Mark had picked my up and placed me on the kitchen counter…As Mark was still kissing he pulled away long enough to reach behind his head and pull his t-shirt off…and we continued kissing again…when he heard me moan into his mouth he depends the kiss and made it a little more intense.


Mark finally picked me up and carried me upstairs…after he got rid of the dogs out of his room…he closed his bed room door and laid me on the bed…and laid next to me and continued kissing again…


His hand found the hem of my tank top and slowly let his hand creep up my shirt and he found my breasts…and started slowly massaging my nipples between his fingers, which got me emitting some slow throaty moans into his mouth…Mark grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it up and off…he started licking and kissing down my neck across my throat…down the valley between my breasts.


Then as he was licking, sucking and nipping on my right nipple, he let my left nipples slide between his fingers and squeezed a little…then he switched sides and was licking, sucking and nipping on my left nipple, he was massaging my right nipple between his fingers…


Mark slowly undid my shorts and pulled them from my body along with my panties…then I helped him with his jeans and boxers…he was already hard…My eyes nearly popped out of my head…I couldn’t believe how big Mark was when he was fully erect…as I looked at Mark’s erection I got a tingly feeling between my legs…and Mark crawled back on the bed…and spread my legs with one of his knees…his erection was placed against the opening of my wet center…I was not above begging…not by a long shot…


Mark’s thumb found my clit and started massaging circles around it…and he slid 2 fingers into my wet center making sure I was ready for him…when pulled his fingers out…the juices soaking his fingers was not missed…he licked his fingers clean…Mark slowly started sliding his erection into me…I was so ready to just scream out ‘fuck me’…but I figured I might wait…


Mark groaned and said, “Jesus baby…Oh my god…you are so tight…”  I whimpered a little and said, “Mark…please.”  He smiled evilly and said, “Please what darlin’?”  I whimpered a little more…Mark was fully sheathed in me…and I felt so full…I said, “Please Mark…Please…I need you now…”  Mark knew I was ready for the taking…he said, “Tell me what you want baby…C’mon…I know you can do it…” 


I was writhing under this man and he was toying with me…


I started moving around a little but Mark stopped all movement from his side. "Baby, this is too much, don't move or it will all be over with."  I tried to lay still until he regained control, but the exquisite pressure and his laying very still was just too much! "I can't stand it! Mark please…just do it…Fuck me!"   I closed my eyes tight…"Hold on tight, I've got you. Open your eyes, I want to look at you when you cum!" he said softly.


The sound of his sexy vice and the gentle rocking motion of his body was more than we could both take!  That and the fact that I was so warm, and wet, and so damn tight, and so completely wanting this too, was overpowering for him. Mark moved slowly at first to let me adjust to him and his rhythm, but soon slow wasn't enough for either of us and I was urging him to go harder and faster. He could feel me beginning to explode all around him and moved deeper still. 


Mark grabbed the back of my thighs and pushed up and out a little more to go deeper…and still he thrusted in and out of me…I had gripped his forearms…but just the feel of him as his erection was sliding in and out of me…going deeper then I thought it could was sending my senses reeling almost out of control…


"That's it! Cum for me! Let it go! C’mon baby I want to feel you cum…you feel so good wrapped around me like a tight glove…Is my baby enjoying this fuck that she’s been beggin’ for?" he whispered against my lips.  I couldn’t even answer him all I could do was nod…I pulled him down and was kissing him as I climbed over the top then released into pleasure.  My orgasm hit and all I could do was shiver and shake! Mark had almost stopped all movement just watching me come apart in his arms.  He could still feel my tight muscles contracting around him when he reached his own peak!  A few more hard thrusts and he was right behind me, filling my willing body with his exploding seed.


Chapter 17


Mark collapsed on the bed besides me and pulled me into his arms…As we laid there deep in thought about what we had just done…I knew it was now or never…I sat up and said, “Mark we need to talk…”  Mark said, “How’s come I get the feeling I’m not going to like this?”  I said, “Probably because you’re not…”  Mark got up and pulled his jeans on…and walked around the room and said, “Okay so give it to me straight…”


I moved around a little and said, “I got my memory back finally…”  Mark said, “That’s good though isn’t it?”  I said, “Yea…to some extent…I lied to you.”  Mark raised one eyebrow up and I felt like I was immediately back in school at the principles office.  I took a deep breath and said, “I’ve had my memory back now for about 3 weeks…Going to that stupid house today…just brought back the memories more clear…I hated that house…I was a prisoner…that’s all I was too…”


Mark looked pissed…he said, “You had your memory back for 3 weeks and didn’t say anything to me? Or to Doc…or anybody…Fuck every one else…you didn’t tell me?”  I said, “What was I supposed to say Mark…I wanted to tell you more then anything…but ever since the shit that went down in the cabin…You’ve distanced yourself away from me like I had the damn plague…”  Mark said, “That isn’t any excuse….you should of told me…it’s not like I still wasn’t concerned…I’ve been worrying about your memory not coming back since this whole thing happened…and you took me for a sucker…”


I said, “No I didn’t Mark…I took you as someone who helped me get back a life I didn’t even want to be in…unless it had you in it…”  Mark said, “I wouldn’t doubt it now, if you never had amnesia…you knew who I was when you ran out in front of my truck that night…You knew I was the Undertaker…”  I said, “I’m so sure…I begged my asshole boyfriend to shove me through a glass coffee table, crawl through broken glass and then let me go running through the damn asphalt streets of Houston…while he was shooting his bb gun at me…Oh please I loved it…could you do that with me…only this time would you please use real bullets…”


Mark picked my clothes up off the floor and threw them at me and said, “Get dressed and get out of my room…do me a favor as soon as you can….get you’re fucking shit out of my house…and take yourself right along with it…if possible I would like you out by the end of the week…”  I didn’t even say anything to him…I got dressed and left his room…instead of going to bed…I went back to my room…changed out of the clothes he’d bought for me…and laid them all on the bed…everything he’d bought me I put on the bed…I put some of my close on…jeans, steal toed boots and a t-shirt. 


I went down stairs and pushed my boxes out on to the porch…I walked out and pulled the car cover off my mustang…there he was my blue animal…I started loading the boxes in the trunk of my mustang…I went in and left a note for Mark and I also left him 1000 bucks in cash…It was in my purse I had seen it in there…


I was just about to leave the house…when Mark’s voice said, “Where the hell are you going Sandra?”  I whipped around and said, “My name isn’t Sandra…it’s Cassandra…you can call me Cassy or CJ…You don’t get to call me that anymore…If you ever call me Sandra again…me and you will have a much bigger problem to deal with then your Undertaker ego…I remember why I cringe every time I hear that name…my loser boyfriend would call me Sandra when he’d smack me around…If you ever see me on the street…let’s pretend we never met.”


I started to leave and Mark grabbed my arm and pulled me back…and saw the tears sliding down my cheeks…and said, “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”  I said, “Oh I don’t know…but at least you don’t have to wait the week to be rid of me…I’ll be gone in 5 minutes…”  I pulled my arm away from Mark and walked out to my car and got in…I stopped at the gate and punched in the code and it opened…


Mark watched as the one person who he loved drove out of his life for good…he couldn’t believe he’d blown up at her…he loved her…more then anything…and he just threw it away because of that bad temper of his…when will he ever learn?


Chapter 18


- - Flash Forward 3 Weeks - -


I had on a light gray suit skirt that came to just below mid-thigh…and a matching vest top that  buttoned down the back with gray 2½ heel open toed shoes…that buckled around my ankle…I piled all my hair on my head with a couple of long ringlets hanging down…and my glasses across the bridge of my nose.  I stepped out of my blue mustang at the back of the arena…and walked through the back door…a security guard stopped me and said, “Can I help you miss?”  I smiled and said, “Yes…I’m hear for a meeting with Mr. McMahon…My name is Cassandra Malone.”


The security guy said, “Okay…Let me call Mr. McMahon and make sure he’s expecting you Ms. Malone.”  I said, “Of course.”  He turned made a phone call and ended his conversation and said, “He’s expecting you ma’am…He’s down 6 doors turn to the right and down 6 more doors…his name is on the outside of the door.”  I said, “Thank you.”  He handed me a backstage pass and said, “We’ll get you a permanent pass in a couple of days.”  I nodded and clipped the pass to the bottom hem of my skirt.  I picked up my suitcase from the floor and walked away…


I had my meeting with Vince and immediately got busy…I was the Writing & Music Engineer…I had totally forgot about my new job with WWE…Before the amnesia…I had made a decision to leave Tony permanently with a job on the road…a week before the memory loss…I had interviewed for the WWE’s Writing & Music Engineering position and had been hired…I wasn’t supposed to start for 3 months…when I called and told Vince what had happened he was still more then willing to hire me...which I immediately jumped at the chance.  So now I was in-charge of the writers…and also making sure the wrestlers got new music about once or twice a year if they wanted.


For the last 3 weeks I was working at Titan Towers the home of the WWE…in Stamford, Connecticut…My office at the towers was huge…I couldn’t believe it…it was my office forever…or as long as I had the job…Vince also marked off a room in the arena for me to work in.  Vince’s son Shane took me around to meet some of the wrestlers…First stop we made was in front of a door that said, ‘KANE’ on it…I was like ok…


Shane knocked and a huge guys opened it…he had the bluest eyes and wet ringlets of curly hair hanging in his face…The blue eyed babe smiled and said, “Shane-o…what’s up Junior McMahon?”  Shane laughed and said, “Glenn…I’d like you too meet our new Engineer for the music and writing teams…Cassandra Malone…Cassandra this is Glenn Jacobs…better known to the fans as Kane…”  I smiled and held out my hand and said, “Please…Just call me Cassy or CJ…I hate being formal…”  Glenn shook my hand and said, “Yes, Ma’am…Should she meet Heidi?”  Shane said, “Probably…”  Glenn said, “Heidi honey…c’mere…”


A small voice said, “Okay…”  A short redhead that came just to the bottom of Glenn’s chest walked under his arm and in front of him…Shane said, “Cassy, this is Glenn’s wife and personal assistant Heidi Jacobs…”  I smiled and said, “Nice to meet you.”  We shook hands and Shane said, “Heidi, Cassy is the new Engineer my dad has been talking about.”  Heidi smiled and said, “It’s about time they got some more women working for this company.”  I said, “Thanks…Lemme guess any script or music changes go through you?”  She smiled and said, “You better believe it…”  I laughed and said, “No problem.” 


Heidi said, “Hey, is she going to the party tonight?”  Shane said, “I don’t know…Cassy?”  I said, “Oh…the party at the hotel right in the restaurant or something..”  Heidi said, “You should go…all the wrestlers will be there…I could introduce you to all of them…That way you get an idea of who you’ll be dealing with.”  I smiled and said, “That sounds like a great idea…so should I wear what I have on or change?”  Heidi said, “Shit…go in what’ca got on…No better way to impress those boys then looking professional…it says…I ain’t taking shit from no body…”  We laughed and I said, “Okay…see ya there.”  I walked away with Shane.


Chapter 19


So later that night…I walked down to the restaurant of the hotel and actually ran into Glenn and Heidi…She said, “You ready to meet the boys?”  I smiled and said, “Sure…”  I walked in with them…


Mark was standing with a group of guys talking while sipping a beer…he heard the huge wooden doors open to the restaurant…he looked over and then had to do a double take…it was Cassandra…what the holy living hell was she doing here?  Mark couldn’t take his eyes off her…she looked beautiful. The gray 2 piece suit did wonders for the curves of her body…but he was about to get down to business…


I didn’t even notice Mark until he was standing right beside me…Mark said, “Excuse me Girl…but I think me and you need to have a talk..”  I said, “I don’t think so..”  Mark grabbed my upper arm and said, “I think so.”  And pulled my back through the doors and out across the hallway and into a huge room…a hotel conference room…where he finally let go of me…


Mark said, “Okay why are you here?”  I said, “Oh…getting into that Undertaker ego again I see.”  Mark said, “This isn’t funny…what the hell are you doing here Sandra?”  I said, “I don’t have to explain anything to you…you’re not my father…And I told you once before DO NOT CALL ME SANDRA!…” 


I started to leave the room when Mark grabbed me and shoved me into the wall and loomed over me and said, “Why are you here?  Just fuckin’ tell me…”  I said, “Oh…I see…This is about you…You think I’m here because of you…right?”  Mark said, “Why else would you be here?”


I could feel my blood boiling at that point and said, “Look…you’re in no apparent danger there Ego…I won’t be working with you…I didn’t gradate at the top of my class to sit on my ass for the rest of my life…it just so happens…I was actually hired for my job before the memory loss…I had forgotten all about it…until about 3 weeks ago when Mr. McMahon called me and asked if I still wanted the position…so see…I’m not here for you…I’m the new Engineer of the Music and Writing teams…”


Mark said, “So where’d you get the suit?” 


I said, “It’s amazing what you find when you remember where you left your clothes…”  Mark said, “Listen…I wanted to talk with you about a few things…”  I said, “Mr. Callaway…I’m a very busy woman…I do not have time to argue with you about the little things…”  Mark said, “I don’t want to argue…I just need to talk with you…we can do it now or after the party…which ever your prefer…”


I sighed and said, “You’re not going to leave me alone until I agree to this are you?”  Mark just shook his head no…and I said, “Fine…room 1025, after the party…but after you’ve said what you wanted you’re out and you leave me alone.”  Mark said, “Fine…deal.”  We walked back over to join the party.


Chapter 20


God…it had to of been around 1 am…I walked into my hotel room and was just about to stripe and shower, when there was a knock on the door…I’d completely forgotten abut Mark coming by…I walked over and he was just leaning against the door frame and gave me his little mischievous smile…I said, “Well…C’mon in…”


Mark walked in and I closed and locked the door behind him…Mark said, “Why are you locking the door…are you afraid of the boogie man?”  I said, “Yea…the 6’10” 325lb boogie man.”  Mark said, “You don’t have to worry about Glenn…him and Heidi retired early tonight…They have been trying to get pregnant…”  I said, “Oh…Thanks for the sex life update…I really didn’t need to know that.”


Mark said, “So when are you going to lose that frigged edge you’ve inherited since the last time I saw you?”  I said, “It’s not a frigged edge honey…it’s just my reaction towards you.”  Mark said, “Now what did I ever do to you?”  I said, “You want a list or one specific thing?”  Mark said, “Well…we can start with once specific thing…and see if I need more of a list when we get to it.”


I said, “Fine…you’re an asshole…want more?”  Mark said, “Wow…I never thought I could be made to feel bad by someone with one statement…Yea…sure gimmie more…if were working on my ego…we might as well touch on ever thing that pisses you off about me.”  I said, “I didn’t say you pissed me off…Just because my frigged attitude may come off as being pissed…that’s not the reason…”  Mark stood in front of me and crossed his arms over his chest all defiant and said, “Well…then please tell me what your problem is…”


I turned around and walked towards the bed room taking my heels off and said, “Mark…I don’t have a problem…I haven’t seen you in 3 weeks…you kicked me out remember?”  Mark said, “Actually no…I asked you to leave…I was mad…but can you blame me?”  I walked back out still in my suit but shoeless and said, “No I guess not…I know it was my fault…I shouldn’t of lied to you…but even if…you was still rude and you yelled and cursed at me…and I was already scared and you just made it worse.”


Mark said, “I know…that’s why I went to find you…I was going to apologize and ask if you’d actually like to stay permanently…but you was so mad…and you just left…I know I should of gone after you I don’t know why I didn’t…Cass…I got scared of you…not you per say…but scared of the feelings I was having for you…you woke up my body to things I hadn’t felt since my divorce…and I didn’t want myself falling for someone who could potentially hurt me again.”  I said, “Oh…it wasn’t okay for me to hurt you…but you have free rein to hurt me all you wanted?”  Mark said, “No…I did that without even realizing it…when I started distancing myself from you…I didn’t realize you was feeling the same way as I was…until it was too late…I think you’re right on that level of…if I wouldn’t have been such a ogre you would have told me when you got your memory back…I don’t blame you for not telling me…I blame me for being such an ass…”


I was looking at the floor…when two huge black boots stepped closer to me…and I heard his husky voice, “Darlin’ Can you ever forgive me? I love ya girl…I never thought I’d say that to another woman as long as I lived…but it happened…”  I said, “Really?”  Mark said, “Yea.”  I said, “So what are you gonna do about it.”  Mark leaned down and scooped me up in his arms and said, “I’ll tell ya what I’m gonna do about it little girl…I’m gonna take you into that bedroom stripe you of all your clothing and make love to you until we both go blind or explode…either way…I’m making you mine…tonight.”


I smiled and said, “One question.”  Mark started walking into the bed room and said, “Yea?”  I said, “What took you so long?  I started falling in love with you the first minute you started helping me that night in the ER…I was scared to death…but you was soothing…and comforting…”  Mark said, “I’m a man honey…it always takes us a little longer to realize we’re in love…”  I said, “Typical male…so what makes you so different?”  Mark said, “No one else is getting you besides me…and if anyone gives me shit…then damn it we’ll go out tomorrow morning and get married to prove to every one you’re mine.”  I said, “You’re such a Neanderthal…but I love you just the same.”  Mark said, “I love you too darlin’.”


On that note…Mark kicked the bed room door closed…and we loved happily ever after…


The End