Inside Out
Chapter 1
Sitting in 1 studio, Morgan is
recording her 6 rock songs, her little 5’6” 130lb frame sitting on a wooden
stool in front of a mic, with her waist length
reddish / pink ratted out hair kept falling in her face…her latest tattoo on
her ankle was itching something fierce…obviously healing. She’d been at this bullshit recording for
nearly 3 hours…but she was big on perfection and besides if she didn’t get it
right, Dani would definitely throw her back into the
studio to re do them…and do them right.
Sitting in another studio, Daniella is recording her 6 R & B songs, her taller
frame of 5’9” and 125lbs, was sitting on the carpeted floor trying to find a
comfortable position laying down so her diaphragm wouldn’t get smashed when she
was doing the long notes. Her long black
hair that was nearly past her ass was fanned out along the floor as her violet
eyes stared at the ceiling…she was pulling on her navel ring with her pinky
finger…trying to get some notes right…the key was a little off.
Morgan and I make up the 2 person
group that was us…we decided a long time ago, when you mix heavy Rock with
heavy R & B…it’s nothing but a destruction phase getting ready to start…So
as a 2 person group we dubbed ourselves Sisters Of Destruction. Of course the record company ate it right up.
We were signed to different labels,
but were a fully functional duet. We did
songs together and we did songs separate.
Morgan being the Rock influence was signed to Rounder with 12 Stones…
Me being the R & B influence I was
signed with Republic Records…I was the first and only R & B artist to be
signs to an all Rock Record company…the record Executive said he saw something
there he’d never imagined…he said I might have had R & B, but there was
definitely a little Rock there also…and he’s see how I did.
Morgan’s cell phone started to ring…as
she said a silent thank you to God for finally getting a break she picked up
the phone and said, “Hello.” “Hey baby.”
The familiar voice on the other line was her long time boyfriend Paul
McCoy…he was also a Rock singer…he was the lead singer for 12 Stones…they’d
worked their butts off as long as we had and they had just started hitting it
big…
Paul was currently on tour and he
must’ve got 5 seconds to himself in order to call Morgan. They had meet 6 months ago when they decided
to do a duet together…And they’ve been together ever since.
They spoke on the phone for about 15
minutes, and then Morgan informed our manager she needed a ‘bathroom
break’…Morgan walked down to the ladies room and locked the main door…and made
sure no one else was in it. She pulled
her little vial out of her pocket…she just needed a pick me up…something to
help her finish the recording time…
As Morgan let the angel dust enter her
nasal cavity…she instantly felt like a million bucks…like she was 10 feet tall
and bullet proof…and could do anything.
She dropped a few Visine drops in her eyes to take the red out…and she
headed back to the studio.
I wrapped up my recording and walked
over to check on Morgan…she was wailing on the microphone like you couldn’t
believe it…every song sounded like total gold.
She winked at me and I knew she’d
be finished soon…She looked a little tired…Hell she looked how I felt…so I
could only imagine how she felt and how I looked.
We wrapped up the session and took off
to our 2 bedroom Penthouse in New York City…our rooms were on separate ends of
the pent house…As soon as we got home…we crawled into bed and immediately fell
into a peaceful slumber.
Chapter 2
I woke up early the next morning and
went for my daily run…when I came back Morgan was up, showered and dressed,
sitting down eating breakfast…I walked in and ruffled her reddish-pink hair and
said, “So when’s lover boy coming home?”
Morgan grinned and said, “He should be home in a few days…when do we
start recording the songs we sing together?”
I smiled and said, “In about 2
hours…so drink some warm honey lemon tea…I’m gonna go grab a shower.” I took off down the hallway to my room and
jumped into the shower…
Morgan watched as Dani
disappeared down the hall and listened for her to step in the shower…walking
quickly and quietly she hauled ass back to her room and locked the door…digging
through her dresser…she knew she had an extra vial some place…she’d used the
last of the Angel Dust yesterday for her recording pick me up and now Dani informed her she was going to finish up their 3rd
album today…of all days…
Morgan had gotten zero sleep…and now
she was crawling around on the floor on her hands and knees like a wild
pig…DAMNIT! Where was her extra party
stash…she hid it from herself all the time…trying to hold out and only using it
when she absolutely needed it…she only used it this much when they were in the
recording studio…
Morgan flipped her long hair out of
her face as she crawled into the closet and started digging through boxes and
boxes of every different kind of drug she’d tried…2 huge boxes housed the
little ones…1 box for the good shit that she would always go back for more…and
1 box for all the nasty stuff that she didn’t like using because of the way it
made her feel.
FINALLY!
Morgan crawled out of the bottom of
her closet and had two full vials ½ full of Angel Dust…she’d use one now and
one at the studio when she needed the pick up. She poured it out onto her mirror made her
lines…and slowly inserted the straw into her nose…she had to be careful once
she did too much at one time and got a nose bleed…she knew she had a bad, BAD
addiction…but she couldn’t bring herself to tell her best friend since kindergarden.
Morgan slowly snorted the white
powder, and slowly felt herself come to life…she went ahead and snorted the
rest up her other nasal cavity…she basked in the tingly feeling…and then go up
and went to the bathroom washed the mirror off, flushed the vial and straw,
then blew her nose…so none of the white powder ever made an appearance under
her nose…
As we rode in the limo the studio
sent…I said, “Don’t forget we’ve got a performance to do at the MTV Video Music
Awards…that’s next week Thursday night, so we really need to figure out what
we’ll be wearing…plus you and Paul will be presenting an award…and I’ll be
presenting an award with some bad tempered foul mouth rapper named Fred
Durst…apparently he’s reputation is notorious…I can’t imagine why they’d put me
and him together…”
Morgan giggled and said, “Well…maybe thy wanna see if you two can get along…ya never know…it
could be interesting.”
I smiled and said, “Yea…I guess it
could be interesting.”
We continued to the studio and worked
into the wee hours of the morning.
Chapter 3
- -1 Week Later…MTV VMA’s- -
I was sitting in a dressing room in
the back…looking over my outfit…Black plastic pants, matching steel toed boots
and a matching tank top with spaghetti straps.
MY long raven hair had tons and tons of spiral curls throughout it.
Morgan was down in a separate dressing
room in the same outfit as me only it was bright red. Her reddish-pink hair was in long dreads that
one of the hair ladies had done for her to keep it out of her face. Morgan reached over and locked the door…one
more pick me up.
She grabbed a bottle of Sunny Delight
popped the cap off, and pour half the vial into the bottle, replaced the lid
and shook it for a few minutes, then down the small bottle in 2 second. She could feel the orange juice and angel
dust sliding through her system. She
needed the vitamin C…and snorting the dust before presenting and then before a
live performance was something she never did.
She didn’t want to look like she was completely cracked out.
I watched as Morgan and Paul walked
out and presented Best Song…they made the crowd laugh. I was trying to keep the butterflies to a
minimal…then one of the backstage guys walked up and said, “Daniella,
we had a small re-route with presenters…Fred Durst said he wasn’t going to
present with some half and half group…he didn’t know if you was the Rock or the
R & B side so…we’ve got someone to put in his place…Hey Sonny c’mere really fast.”
I looked over and the most gorgeous
man I’d ever seen in my life walked towards us…he had on black jeans, tenny shoes, black t-shirt that said ‘
I thought I recognized him and the
stage hand said, “Daniella St. Jaymes…I’d
like you to meet Sonny Sandoval…he’s the lead singer of POD.” I smiled and said, “Ah…Payable on Death. Satellite is a great album.” We shook hands, he smiled and said, “Thank you…It’s nice to meet you.” I smiled and said, “Yea you too.” I nearly dropped to the ground when he smiled
at me.
I said, “So were
doing best kissing scene in a music video…how do we wanna do this?” Sonny said, “Well…I’ll let you take the
lead…you seem a little more confident about this whole thing.” I said, “Are you insane…I’m a bundle of
nerves right now…I’ve never done something like this…I’m used to just performing
and then leaving.”
Sonny said, “Well the nervousness
doesn’t show…either way I’ll let you take control of it once we get out
there.” I said, “You don’t have a
girlfriend or a wife…I don’t wanna piss anyone off…or incite a jealous rage.” Sonny laughed and said, “No…so the floor is pretty
much yours and you can do whatever ya want…what ever
makes you feel comfortable.”
They announced us
and we walked out together and over to the podium…Sonny said, “Were presenting
Best Kissing Scene in a Music Video.” I
said, “Hey Sonny how do you like to kiss?”
Sonny said, “I dunno…What do
you mean Daniella?” I said, “Well…Do you like to kiss fast? Like this?”
I grabbed his fast and pecked his lips…and continued, “Or do you like to
kiss slow? Like
his?” I cupped his face and brushed my
lips against his and He kissed me back, he wrapped his arms around my waist…I
felt his tongue slide into my mouth…as our tongues dueled…I could hear the
crowd going insane.
We pulled apart, and as Sonny fell
back on to the stage, sprawled out…I smiled deviously and said, “I think he
likes number two…so while you figure out how you like to kiss…check out the
nominees for Best Kissing Scene in a video.
When the segment was over, Sonny and I
walked back stage and I said, “I hope I didn’t frighten you too much.” Sonny smiled and said, “Where did you learn
to kiss like that?” I smiled and said,
“Plenty of practical while in St. Josephs all girl catholic school.” I walked away with a sway of my hips, I
peeked back and sure enough Sonny’s eyes followed me.
Chapter 4
Next on the agenda for the night was
Morgan and I singing a song together…Carson Daily came out and said, “In the
shortest amount of time our next performers have been labels as anything but
singers…tonight…they shut every one up…please welcome…Sisters of Destruction.”
*****************************
Daniella:
I see how your trying to
Weasel your way in my mind
I know how you maneuver
With your confusion
Morgan:
You tell me that I’m your only
And how bad that you want me
Well then why are you so shady
If I’m supposed to be your lady
Daniella:
Why should I believe…anything you say
And how could you shame me that way
Morgan:
Tell me where…where did you get the nerve
To even think that you…you could play me wrong
Both:
You thought we didn't know
You thought we were in the dark
But boy your covers blown
Cause we both know now
You thought you had us fooled
At your beck & call
But now who's the joke
And look who's laughing now
Morgan:
Now your trying to use us
Daniella:
Against one another…but it won't work
Morgan:
I see right though your game boy
Daniella:
And I know exactly where to play boy
Morgan:
You tried to deny all your actions
Daniella:
For once in your life be a real man
Morgan:
At least give me the proper respect of…
Daniella:
The truth
Both:
I already know you did it
Morgan:
Why should I believe anything you say
And how could you shame me that way
Daniella:
Tell me where…where did you get the nerve
To even think that you…you could play me wrong
Both:
You thought we didn't know
You thought we were in the dark
But boy your covers blown
Cause we both know now
You thought you had us fooled
At your beck & call
But now who's the joke
And look who's laughing now
Both:
I see right through you baby
Try not to be like you don't want me
Why don't you get it through your thick head
Daniella:
Why don’t you just get it through you
tick, thick, thick, thick head
Both:
Cause I’ve seen this game before
And I’m not trying to see it no more
SHUT YOUR MOUTH
I’m not trying to hear your lies
No not again…
Daniella:
No-No Not again
Morgan:
Sorry…you couldn't be a better man
Both:
Oh……No
Oh….No…Oh-No…Nooo
You thought we didn't know
You thought we were in the dark
But boy your covers blown
Cause we both know now
You thought you had us fooled
At your beck & call
But now who's the joke
And look who's laughing now
Morgan:
Guess you thought wrong
Daniella:
Look who's laughing…now
Morgan:
You so stupid
*****************************
When the song was finished, we walked
off stage and the sounds of the crowd cheering were near deafening. We definitely went back to pent house that
night with some sweet images to put under our pillows.
Chapter 5
For some reason or another after the
MTV VMA’s I kept running into Sonny, every where I
went I seemed to run into him…even late one night I was at the studio re-doing
a couple of my tracks…I took a break to get some water…I was walking down the
hallway…and wasn’t paying attention and hit a chest and fell back onto my ass.
I leaned to the side and was rubbing my now sore booty…when I
looked up and came face to face with Sonny…I said, “We really have to stop
meeting like this. Sonny squatted down
and said, “You okay?” I said, “My ass hurts…but
I’ll live.” Sonny took my hand and
helped me up to my feet…
Sonny said, “Sorry about that…Can I make it up to you?” I said, “What did you have in mind?” Sonny said, “How about some dinner…I know a
really great restaurant around the corner from here” I smiled and said, “You got it.” Sonny offered me his arm and I looped my hand
around his bi-cept and we took off walked down the
street.
We walked into this small little Mexican restaurant…and Sonny
seated me and then went up and ordered out food. We talked while we ate and just generally got
to know each other. Sonny said, “So
you’re one half of the sisters of destruction…how long have you guys been
singing together?” I said, “Since high
school…we’ve known each other since forever…and when we started singing
together we just had a sound that seemed to click…which is why we were sucked
up so fast into contracts. We were
signed by 2 different labels because of our music styles…”
We laughed a lot over dinner and then walked back to the
studio…we talked a lot more while sitting on the floor of the studio…by the end
of the night, Sonny had asked for my phone number…and I wrote it down and he
saved it in his cell phone. As I saved his in my cell phone. Sonny lived in
A few weeks later, Sonny and I started seeing a lot of each
other…I got to meet his mother…who was diagnosed with cancer…she was fighting
it as hard as she could…she was a sweet lady…Sonny’s mother and father were divorced
so when he was a boy he would bounce between the 2 homes…
Since we started dating, Sonny’s mom invited me over Sunday’s
for dinner with the rest of the family.
I in turn asked Sonny’s mom to come listen to me record a song for a
soundtrack to some movie that wasn’t out yet.
Sonny brought her up to the studio and I immediately started…
Can you rock with me
Aw baby…Non-stop with me
Can you take it to the top with me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you roll with me
Ooh baby…All over me
Can you take control of me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
I think I like
How your body feel next to me
Aw baby when you kissing me
aw baby when you loving me
I can't describe
What I want to do to you tonight
Aw baby when you come to me
I'll make it so you'll never leave
Can you rock with me
Aw baby…Non-stop with me
Can you take it to the top with me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you roll with me
Ooh baby…All over me
Can you take control of me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
See I don't know
If I can handle you as just a friend
Aw baby I can't pretend
Aw baby I'm so far in
But I don't mind
As long as I could have you in my life
Aw baby I'm satisfied
Even if you're not just mine
Can you rock with me
Aw baby…Non-stop with me
Can you take it to the top with me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you roll with me
Ooh baby…All over me
Can you take control of me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Boy you make me not the same
Aw baby, aw baby, ooh baby, ooh baby
Can you feel me when we say
Aw baby, aw baby, ooh baby, ooh baby
Can you rock with me
Aw baby…Non-stop with me
Can you take it to the top with me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you roll with me
Ooh baby…All over me
Can you take control of me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you rock with me
Aw baby…Non-stop with me
Can you take it to the top with me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Can you roll with me
Ooh baby…All over me
Can you take control of me
I just wanna love you baby
Always thinking of you baby
Oh, Mmmm, love you baby
Mmmm, yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah, yeah
Oh Mmmm, love you babe
Mmmm, yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah, yeah
When it was finished she said it was beautiful…
A few weeks later…It had been 3 weeks since I heard from
Sonny…No messages, no e-mails…and no visits…I couldn’t imagine what was going
on.
Chapter 6
So I went to
Sonny answered and I said, “What’s going on?” Sonny said, “What are you talking
about?” I said, “We’ve been dating for a
few months and then all of a sudden 3 weeks with nothing from you…is every thing alright...is it your mom?”
Sonny said, “No…Noni is alright.” I said, “Then what’s going on with us?” Sonny said, “I’ve been meaning to call you…I
just don’t think that we are going to work out…” I stood and watched as he started messing
with his go-tee…
I said, “Really…and what brought you to that conclusion?”
Sonny said, “I just started realizing that I do Rock…you do R
& B…people are going to give us so much shit about not being from the same
musical influence.”
I said, “How’s come this smells like a line of bullshit? No one has said anything to me about the
different musical genres…if they haven’t bothered us now…why would they even
start.”
Sonny said, “Maybe they were saying it to me…and I just haven’t
said anything to you about it…” I said,
“No cause in the short amount of time that I’ve known you…you never had a
problem telling me or anyone else anything…you’re by no means the type of
person to keep shit in…and you know it.”
We were standing on the porch talking...I had my arms crossed
over my chest in defense mode and I said, “So this is it?”
Sonny shoved his hands in his front jean pockets and said, “What
the fuck you want me to say?”
I said, “I was just hoping you could be honest with me, instead
of being a chicken shit lame ass fucker.”
Sonny’s head popped up and looked at Dani…she
was pissed and he knew it…but he didn’t have the heart to tell her the
truth…there had been a few minor details to his life that he’d left out…things along
the line of him having an ex-wife and a daughter…and they had reconciled a few
weeks ago…which is why he had to think of some type of lie. But she’d totally seen right through it.
I glared at Sonny and said, “I’ll see you around…oh wait…no I
won’t…”
The whole phrase ‘I wouldn’t piss in your mouth, even if your
teeth were on fire’ came to mind as Daniella walked
away.
Chapter 7
A few weeks later…Morgan and I were invited to the Playboy
mansion for new album (s) release party…a bunch of bands were gonna be
there…Limp Bizkit, POD, Kitten, All Saints and a few
other bands.
Morgan had disappeared into the bathroom…she had been doing that
a lot lately…that girl and her bladder…she always said she had a hamster
bladder I guess I just never noticed it until now.
I was walking around the back yard and watched as the all male
bands messed with the playmates. A few
guys from Limp Bizkit…had more then
one girl on their arms…Some girl walked up to me and said, “Are you Daniella St. Jaymes?” I said, “Yes I am…how may I help you?” She smiled and said, “I’m Amy Sandoval…I’d
appreciate it if you kept your slut ass away from my husband.”
I said, “Sure lady as soon as you tell me who your husband is.”
She smirked at me and said, “Sonny Sandoval.” I said, “Excuse me?” That Amy girl smirked and said, “I take it he
forgot to mention he was married for the few months he was seeing you…oh and
he’s got a kid with me…but the reason he broke up with your ass is because were back together…so I suggest you stay away from my man.”
I said, “Fine by me.”
I turned to leave when she ran around and stood in front of me
and said, “I’m serious when I say stay away from my husband…he’s a great
man.” I said, “What makes him so
great?” Amy smiled and said, “He dropped
the whore and came back to his wife and child.”
I said, “What makes you think he’s such a great man when he
didn’t even tell his girlfriend of 5 months that he was married.” She pulled her hand back and slapped me
across the face…it was like the slap heard round the world…every one stopped
what they were doing and looked up to see what was going on.
I smirked and said, “Thank you so much for giving me a reason to
defend myself.”
I pulled my arm back and belted her right in the face…her ass
hit the ground like a sack of potatoes…Sonny ran up and said, “Dani, what the fuck?”
I shoved him and said, “You tell your wife…Mrs. Sandoval…If she ever
touches me again…she’s gonna wind up down there and become more then personally
acquainted with the ground again.” I
walked through the mansion and out the front door to my Toyota RAV 4…
“Excuse me.” A voice said
behind me…I stopped and turned around and came face to face with a blue eyed hottie…I planted my hands on my hips and said, “Something I
can do for you junior?” He said,
“Damn…Nice Right hook to the bitch that was messing with ya.”
I walked back towards the house…and said, “I don’t fight…I just
don’t like getting slapped…if someone’s gonna hit me then god damn hit me…no
slapping or hair pulling…Daniella St. James.” I stuck my hand out and he took it and shook
it and said, “Fred Durst.”
I said, “You’re that guy…the one who didn’t wanna come on stage
with me at the VMA’s…something about me being a newbie.” Fred smiled and said, “Well…don’t believe
everything you hear and also, I just came to tell you that your
friend…Morgan…she’s upstairs in the bathroom and won’t come out.”
I took off upstairs and Fred followed me…the door was locked and
I could get the door open…Fred reared back and kicked the door open…I looked in
and Morgan was passed out on the floor with blood coming out of her nose in
gallons…
I ran over and as I tossed my cell phone to Fred, I said,
“Please call an ambulance.”
Chapter 8
Rushing through the doors of the Emergency Room of Cedar Sinai
Hospital...I went immediately to the nurse’s station...I said, “Excuse me...but
they just brought my friend in here...
The nurse said, “You’re just friends? You’re not a family member or next of
kin?”
I said, “No.”
The nurse said, “I’m sorry, but only family or next of kin is
allowed medical information or in to see patients.”
I grabbed the nurse by the collar of her perfectly bright white
pressed nurses uniform and pulled her half way across the counter and said,
“Look lady...I don’t give a shit, what you need...Morgan has been my best
friend since Kindergarten and if you don’t tell me what the fuck is going on with
her...you’re going to find yourself in a lot more pain they you ever thought
possible...”
I cleared my throat and continued, “So take my fingerprints, do
a retina scan, a pap smear, throat culture, CBC, WBC, RBC, and get a pint of
blood while your at it...and call about my driving
record...but one way or another I wanna talk to a doctor and find out what’s
happened to me best friend of nearly 16 years!...If you understand what I just
said nod your little head and then carry your prissy ass down to the ER and get
me a doctor...NOW!”
The nurse nodded and she took off down the hallway as fast as
her little legs would carry her...
3 minutes later a doctor came back with the nurse following
him...she kept poking him and pinching his ass to get him to walk faster. He just basically told us, she was barely
stabilized and that he wouldn’t know anything until her tests came back...which
would be another hour. Fred just stood
next to me with his hands in his pockets.
Fred watched the raven haired beauty as she nearly wiped the
nurse and her seed from the earth...he was about to say something...but he felt
a twinge when he heard the panic and pain in Dani’s
voice...
Fred actually wanted to laugh...he’d never seen a nurse or
doctor in Cedar Sinai move so fast...they were usually pretty lazy about
patient care...apparently Ms. St. James was gonna be keeping them on their toes
while Morgan was in attendance.
I looked over at Fred and said, “What?” Fred threw his hands up in the air in defeat
and said, “Hey...I’m neutral...I can along for the ride.”
I slumped against the wall and I could feel the tears sliding
down my cheeks...I said, “I’m sorry...I just hate the waiting ya know? I don’t know what’s wrong with her...she’s
been my best friend for so long...and my singing partner in crime even
longer...I don’t know what I’d do if something ever happened to her.”
Fred walked over and took my hand he said, “C’mon...Let me buy
you a shitty cup of coffee in this joint...it’s gonna be a while before they
can really tell you anything.”
We walked over to the elevators and got in as soon as the
elevator doors closed I leaned against the wall and
started crying...
Fred being a man wasn’t sure what to do...poor thing he was
basically thrown into it all. Fred
grabbed the girl and pilled her to him letting her cry on him...he wrapped his
arms around her...and could feel the tiny ladies body racked with sobs. He got her calmed down and they sat in the
cafeteria drinking several cups of coffee and just talking.
And...waiting...
Chapter 9
As Fred and I sat in the cafeteria talking and waiting…I had
completely forgot all about Paul…Morgan’s boyfriend. I called Paul’s cell phone right away and
told him what had happened…it was a good thing he was in town with the band
otherwise he’d have to leave touring to come back and see her…He was totally
beside himself he had to have his drummer drive him to the hospital..
Fred and I walked got back to the ER…we had just walked in as
the doctor came out and said, “I’m sorry Daniella…But
has Morgan ever acted funny…seemed like she just wasn’t with it?” I said, “No…why? What’s going on?”
The doctor said, “We gave her a drug screen test and she came
out positive for Angel Dust, Cocaine, and some other highly dangerous
drugs. She’s been ingesting them through
her nasal cavity…which by the looks of it…she’s been doing this for roughly
about 6 years.”
I said, “No, that’s impossible…we got to drug free schools and
talk about not doing drugs…” The doctor
said, “Well…obviously one of you was only drug free and able to talk about
it.” I nearly fell over...
Fred could see Dani swaying a little
and looked like her legs were gonna give out on her...he stepped a little
closer and wrapped his arm around her waist...she didn’t fight him on it...infact she grabbed his hand that was resting on her
hip. He could feel her body shaking from
head to toe...she was struggling to stay on her feet and not collapse in a big
puddle on the ground.
I said, “What...What’s the next step...How can
I help her get through this? What
can be done?” The doctor said,
“Well...there’s a very good rehab facility about 30 miles from here in a small
town were most famous people go to rehab from drugs and alcohol. We can have her transfer and checked into there when she gets more stable.” I said, “Okay...Do I have to sign
anything?” The doctor said, “Yea...I’ll
have the nurse draw the papers up and then bring them into you so you can sign
them.”
I said, “When can I go in and see her?” The doctor said, “C’mon I’ll take you up to
the Intensive Care Unit.” I looked at
Fred and said, “Would you mind coming with me...I know we just met and every thing but I really don’t wanna be up there
alone.” Fred nodded and said, “Yea...If
you want me to come with you sure.”
Fred held onto her as they rode up to the 5th floor
to the Intensive Care Unit. Fred watched
as she walked in and immediately went to Morgan’s side and grabbed her
hand...the shorter girl with the pinkish red hair had pale-pale skin...almost
no color at all. He watched as Dani stroked her hair and squeezed her hand, trying to get
some kind of response out of her unconscious friend, but nothing seemed to
work.
Fred made himself comfortable on the
floor against the wall with his elbows resting on his bent knees and looked up
when Dani joined him on the floor also, he watched as
she pulled her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She still had the sniffles from crying in the
elevator. Fred reached over and handed
her a box of Kleenex.
I looked up and took a tissue and said, “Thank you...I know you
must think I’m some kind of cry baby or something...I’m really sorry I dragged
you into all of this...If you want to leave you can.” I felt more tears sliding down my cheeks and
Fred scooted closer to me and said, “Hey...everything is gonna be okay...and
believe me when I say If I didn’t wanna be dragged into it...I would of stayed
at the release party. I don’t think
you’re a cry baby...I think you’re just having a normal reaction to just
finding out a friend was in trouble.”
I said, “I didn’t even know she was doing drugs. The doctor said she’s been doing it for
around 6 years...we’ve been best friends since kindergarten. How could I not know she was hooked on
drugs...I’ve been so busy the last 6 years from trying to get us record deals
to recording 3 albums to touring and modeling to whatever...I couldn’t take 5
minutes out to just ask her... ‘Hey how are you doing today?’...I’m a horrible
friend. This really sucks.”
I checked my watch it was almost mid-night...I hadn’t realized
how late it was...Fred pulled me over and laid my head in his lap and I started
to feel my eyelids getting heavy...and I could feel Fred running his fingers
through my hair which was totally relaxing me.
Fred watched the raven haired beauty as she slowly fell
asleep...she needed it...she’d had a rough day.
He had to admit...he’d never wanted to be closer to anyone in his life
then he did her right now...having her fall asleep in his lap was just a
bonus. And soon he felt sleep take over
his body.
Chapter 10
In the morning...My eyes fluttered open as the sun slowly peaked
through the blind in Morgan’s hospital room.
SHIT! I completely forgot where I
had been all night. I slowly sat up and
pulled my long hair off of Fred’s lap.
It was full of static from the floor...so I just pulled it up into a
ponytail...I slowly stood up...listening to every bone in my body pop and crack
from sleeping on a hard concrete floor all night.
I looked over and Paul must’ve come in during the night some
time, while we were sleeping, because he was asleep in the chair next to
Morgan’s hospital bed. Fred saw who I
was looking at and jumped up and said, “Do you know him?” I said, “That’s Paul...Morgan’s
boyfriend. He’s the lead singer of the
Christian Rock band 12 Stones.” Fred
said, “I thought he looked familiar...good band.”
I stifled a laugh and Fred said, “What?” I said, “You listen to Christian Rock?” Fred smiled and said, “Well...yea...of
course...why wouldn’t I?” I said, “The
author of Break Stuff...the song that says fuck more then
a porno, listens to Christian Rock?”
Fred chuckled a little and said, “What? So I was having a bad day when I wrote that
song...Don’t tell me you don’t have bad days...especially after that
performance at the VMA’s...That song had a lot of feeling behind it...who wrote
it you or Morgan?”
I said, “Me...” He said,
“Why?” I said, “A couple of years ago I
ran across a real smooth talker...and an even smoother actor...told me
everything I wanted to hear and then some...we got engaged and then I found out
he was actually cheating on me with another girl...and when she found out about
me...she was as pissed off at him as I was.”
Fred stuffed his hands into his pockets and said, “Yea...so how
did this other girl find out about you?”
I looked at Fred and smirked.
Fred said, “You didn’t...did you...You little
shit...you did.” I laughed and said, “Of
course I did...why should I be the only one pissed off about a man cheating on
me...when two pissed off females are better then
one.” Fred nodded and said, “True.”
I walked over and kissed the top of Morgan and Paul’s heads and
Fred and I left the room to go down and get some more coffee...When we got back
Morgan was awake with Paul sitting next to her and our manager Ross had finally
gotten there...Morgan made everyone but me leave the room.
I sat on the foot of her bed and said, “Morgy,
what happened? I mean...was it something
I did...I mean...we’ve been best friends for so long and I didn’t know you was
hooked on drugs...why didn’t you tell me.”
Morgan said, “It wasn’t anything you did...it was just something
that happened...I kept saying I was only using it to get through the recording
times...and then it was just to get through the really long concert
nights...but the more excuses I used to try and quit...the more reason I came
up with to have to use it. I was a mess
and I knew it...hiding vials and bottles of it from you...little plastic white
powder filled bags...Every time I tried to come tell you I needed help...I
found another reason to keep using it. I
just kept snorting it up my nose or mixing it with orange juice or whatever I
had on me at the time. I think once I
even poured it into a sandwich and ate it.”
I said, “Oh Morgan...you know you can tell me anything and I’ll
help as much as I can. You’ve been my
best friend for nearly 16 years...and I almost lost you...well I refuse to lose
you now. I had the doctor draw up some
papers there’s a rehab place 30 minutes from here...you’re going and I don’t
want any argument.” Morgan nodded and
said, “This was a huge wake up call Dani...I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” I said, “No...It’s ok...Just don’t keep
something like this from me ever again...or I swear the next thing up your nose
will be my foot.” We looked at each
other tears sliding down our cheeks...hair all messy and we just busted out
laughing...we couldn’t help it.
2 days later, Morgan was released and then transfer to Wondering
Hills Rehab Retreat. She had to de-tox for 72 hours...and then start
therapy, activities...and was allowed 2 phone calls every week. It was a 5 month plan...it was for people
who’d been doing drugs for 5 years or more.
Ross decided to cancel our new album tour due to undisclosed
reasons.
Me on the other hand...since I had 5 months before anything was
going to happen with Sisters of Destruction...Fred and I started getting a
little closer...when Limp Bizkit went on the road for
there new album, Fred asked me to join him...and I
was only too happy to get away from actual performing while on a tour.
Chapter 11
One day, the guys from the band were relaxing before the concert
that night...most of them were playing basketball...I was sitting in the grass
area writing some lyrics for a song...Ever since all the drama with Morgan had
happened I started thinking more towards the Rock edge and not so much R &
B...
Fred was helping me get out my aggressions...which I was really
thankful for him being there to help me.
I tried calling Morgan at the rehab center a few times...but she wasn’t
accepting phone calls from anyone who wasn’t family.
I thought I was family...
I couldn’t keep my mind on the writing for some reason...My mind
just kept drifting back to Morgan...I wanted to talk with her so bad...Fred
must’ve noticed I wasn’t staying focused...he came over and I felt like I was
being watched...I looked up when the shade appeared over me out of nowhere...and
said, “Something I can help you with?”
Fred leaned down and kissed the top of my head as he sat next to
me in the grass...He said, “Concentration not what it used to be?” I said, “Lately no.” I leaned against Fred’s shoulder and said, “I
wanna talk to Morgan so bad.” Fred said,
“I know you do baby...But you can’t force her to take non-family phone
calls.” I could feel the tears swelling
up in my eyes...
I sat up and whipped the tears off my checks that had escaped my
eyes. Fred pulled me back into his arms
and started blowing raspberries on my neck and shoulder...he knew it tickled me
and I couldn’t help but crack up laughing.
I finally squealed out an, “Uncle...UNCLE!!!”
Fred said, “You done being sad?”
I smacked his arm and said, “No! Shit head.” Fred laughed at me when I made a face towards
him...he flipped me over and swatted my ass and I laughed again, he said, “You
wanna go for a walk?” I smiled over at
him and said, “Yea.” Fred stood up and
pulled me up with him...
We walked around the arena...in the middle of walking Fred took
my hand in his and laced our fingers together...we’d been on tour together for
the last month and a half and this was the first time he’d touched me
intimately...I looked side ways at him and half
smiled at him. Fred said, “You don’t
mind do you?” I shook my head no and
gave his fingers a squeeze.
I said, “I know I can’t force her to take non-family calls...but
I just wish she’d call me...she’s been calling Paul...he’s been trying to help
her as much as I want to...but she just won’t except help from me...and I can’t
figure out why.”
Fred said, “Maybe she’s ashamed...I mean you guys have been
friends for so long...maybe she’s ashamed because she couldn’t come to you and
admit to you that she had a drug problem...Denial is the worst thing in the
world next to shame...I’ve done shit in my past I’m shamed
of.” I said, “Yea right like what?”
Fred swallowed hard and said, “It was probably about 4 years
ago...when we started taking off...and getting more popular...me and a few of
the guys from the band who were single did a sleazy porn movie with a bunch of
sleazy half porn stars...” Fred must’ve
seen the look on my face and he said, “See...Told ya...but I think the best
lesson I learned from that was wearing a condom...I wore tons...and even though
I did wear condoms...I got tested...Thank GOD all my tests came back negative.
The hardest thing would have been telling my mother I got some kind of
incurable disease from a girl who I made a porn movie with...how brutal is
that?”
I giggled a little and said, “Pretty brutal...my mother would
beat my ass.” Fred laughed and said,
“Yea...Mine would too...which is why...I pray to God every night she DOESN’T
find out. She would beat me within an
inch of my life.” I said, “Good...you
need to be spanked a few hundred times.
I bet you was a brat growing up.” Fred said, “Me? Never...Okay, well maybe just a little.”
I couldn’t help but laugh again.
Fred leaned against a door jam and pulled me against him and
said, “So what have you ever done and feel ashamed now?” I smiled evilly for a second and fisted the
collar of Fred’s t-shirt and said, “I’m ashamed I hit Sonny’s wife...who the
hell am I kidding...I’m just ashamed I didn’t hit her hard enough for her
mother to get a bruise.”
Fred took my fist out of his shirt and said, “You’re a feisty
one...I’m gonna have to keep my eye on you.”
And his kissed my fist. I got milli-inches from his lips and while looking into those
deep blue eyes, I said, “You do that Mr. Durst.” I looked down at his bright red lips and
pressed the softest of kisses to his lips.
I pulled away, smirked a little and walked away.
Fred said, “Ah hell no.”
I laughed and took off down the hall way, with Fred hot on my
heels.
Chapter 12
As I was being pursued by Fred, I ducked into a spare dressing
room...and waited for Fred to catch up to me...as luck would have it, Fred
walked by the room I was in...
I reached out and jerked him into the dressing room, closing the
door and turning the light off behind him.
I pushed him against the wall...And his hands slowly went around my
waist as he pulled my tight against his body.
I kissed his lips and this time he took over the kiss...
Fred cupped my face in his hands and immediately deepened
it...Fred moved around to where I was up against the wall...My hands went up
the insides of Fred’s t-shirt and I could feel his skin, so soft and totally
touchable...I relished the feeling of his tongue softly caressing every inch of
the inside of my mouth.
I can feel his hands slide from cupping my face down to my neck
and then slowly down my arms, and to around my waist and then down to cup my
butt. Fred lifted me up a little and I
wrapped my legs around his waist. His
hands stayed under my butt so I wouldn’t fall...He trailed kisses down along my
jaw line, to my ears and to my neck...his soft lips make their way across my
throat and I totally melted in his hands.
I pulled away and I could hear both of our labored breathing...I
said, “What the heck was that all about?”
Fred laughed a little and said, “I don’t have a clue...You wanna tell me
what that kiss was all about at the other end of the hallway?” I said, “I figured since you weren’t making
that much of a move...I might as well give you a run for your money.”
Fred reached over and flipped on the light and saw her lips were
a little full from the kisses...he watched as a slow smile spread across her
face and finally got the meaning of what she just said...she was attracted to
him as much as he was to her...and it was okay to be more forward with her...
He was being careful because he didn’t wanna scare her...but now
that she made the first move...he hoped they could work their way into a
relationship...he really was fully attracted to her...and for some reason...it
was a stronger attraction then to anyone else he’d dated in the past...
Fred thought back as they left the room and down the hall hand
in hand...When he secretly dated Britney Spears...wow...that was a big
mistake...everything about that bitch was fake....boobs, hair, eyes,
teeth...the bitch had caps on her teeth...fuck...what the hell...nothing was
fake about Daniella.
She was gorgeous from head to toe...he couldn’t understand why that
piece of crap Sonny Sandoval would be so cruel and heartless to her.
The more he thought about what Sonny had done to Dani...the more pissed off he became...He always was known
for having a bad temper...and just generally not putting up with peoples
shit. He was actually happy to have
witnessed her socking Sonny’s wife and knocking her out cold. Of course it would have been nicer if it
would have been Sonny she socked...he really deserved it.
Fred was pulled from his thoughts as he felt Dani’s
hands on him again. Fred looked down at
her and she was touching his arm with her free hand...
I said, “You better go start getting ready...you’ve got a show
in less then 30 minutes.” Fred said, “You’ll be here when I get
back?” I smiled and said, “Where else
would I be? If you haven’t forgotten I’m
on the tour as your guest.” Fred leaned
over and softly kissed my lips and said, “How could I forget?”
I watched as he walked off for the concert.
Chapter 13
When Fred came off the stage a couple of hours later, he jumped
in the shower and got cleaned up. I was
sitting in the hallway on one of the huge equipment trunks. Fred walked out and grabbed my hand and I
walked with him out to the limo...we’d be staying the night and moving onto the
next town in the morning.
Fred laced our fingers together and I said, “So! Tell me more about these porno movies of
yours.”
Fred busted up laughing and said, “You’re asking for it.”
I said, “What? It will
give us something to watch later...you know instead of me watching you
sleep...it could be me watching you do something freaky with a complete
stranger.”
Fred pointed at me and said, “Oh that’s it! That is it!!”
I laughed as I took off running down the hall, Fred caught up to
me, grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder and then smacked my ass while he
carried me out to the limo...
We rode in the limo over to the hotel, Fred checked us in...Fred
had been getting me my own room, because nothing was really happening between
us...the clerk across the counter handed me my room key and I slid it back
across the counter to the lady...Fred looked at me questioningly and I slowly
pulled his key out of his back pocket...where he’d just placed it and started
walking towards the elevators...Fred said, “Uhhhh Daniella...” I
turned around and said, “You comin’ or not?” Fred’s eyes suddenly grew bigger as he
figured out what I was doing...
Fred looked at the clerk and tossed him a 50 and said, “You keep
all phone calls away, hotel employees, fans and visitors...and you’ll get
another one when we check out tomorrow.”
The guy looked down at the 50 dollar bill and said, “Yes Sir Mr.
Durst.”
Fred grabbed his bag and caught up to me at the elevators. One we got into the elevators and the doors
closed he said, “You’re just full of surprises tonight aren’t you?” I smirked and said, “You think so huh?” It
was a slow ride to our floor and I reached over and grabbed the collar of
Fred’s t-shirt and pulled him to me...He had his hands on the wall and was
looking into my eyes.
Fred watched Daniella’s mouth slowly
open and watched as her soft, wet tongue snaked out between her lips and slowly
stroked his bottom and top lip. And then watched as her tongue dampened her own full red lips.
Out of the corner of his eye he watched as Daniella’s
hand slid over to the control panel of the elevator and hit the stop
button...when her tongue touched his lips again his hands grabbed her hips and
pulled her against him and he kissed her with a fevered pitch. They almost lost control...but Dani kissed him solid once more and pulled away as she
reached over and hit the button and the elevator continued its journey.
Upon arriving to the room...Fred looked around and checked
things out...he didn’t notice the growing pile of clothes on the floor by the
door. Fred heard a loud attention getting
whistle in the sitting area and walked out of the bedroom and saw Daniella standing by the kitchen nook in a t-shirt that
barely reached mid-thigh...he watched as she walked towards him.
I stopped just to the side of him...he turned his head to look
at me and I said, “I’m gonna go to bed...when your
finished inspecting the room...lock the door and turn the lights off and come
to bed...I’ll be waiting for you...” I
walked behind him and stripped my panties and bra off, but left the t-shirt on
and said, “Oh...can you hold on to these for me.” I laid the panties over his right shoulder
and the bra over his left shoulder and walked into the bed room...
I pulled the t-shirt off and laid under
the covers in bed.
Fred looked down at his jean cover erection that seemed to be
growing bigger and bigger by the second and said, “I don’t think we should keep
her waiting long do you? ......Yea...me neither.”
Chapter 14
**S M U T Warning**
Fred pulled the red lace matching lingerie off his shoulder and
looked at them...he could already smell Daniella’s
scent in the cotton crotch of the lace panties.
He threw the sexy lacy garments over his shoulder and walked into the
room. On his way to the bed he stripped
off his T-shirt, shoes, socks, jeans and boxers.
Fred started at the foot of the bed,
and slowly got under the covers and crept up the bed kissing and licking along Daniella's long soft legs.
He could hear her squealing and giggling at the certain places that he
kissed starting with her knees...and slowly spread her legs apart and was
kissing up the insides of her thighs...he slowly ran his tongue up her soft wet
slit.
Fred heard the throaty moan that came out of her sweet mouth and
nearly cam without doing a damn thing...just the
sound of her voice being that aroused was enough for him. His tongue reached out and rubbed against her
clit a little and he watched as she fisted the sheets of the bed in her
hands.
Fred decided it was enough torture and started slowly making his
way up her body, kissing and licking up her navel. Up and around her perky
nipples and watched as they hardened even more.
Fred completely moved up her body and started kissing her neck and then
cheeks, and finally her lips...
I could feel his erection rubbing against my center. I smirked and pushed Fred over onto his back
and started with his neck, and licked and kissed my way down his body,
outlining a few of his tattoos with the tip of my warm wet tongue. My tongue slid against his skin slowly going
lower and lower.
I got to his erection...and I guess you could say I French
kissed it...which got a very fast reaction out of Fred...something along the
lines of a ‘Holy Fuckin’ Shit’...He exhaled deep and I giggled a little...
Fred lifted the covers to see me and said, “I know you’re not
laughing at me...” I couldn’t help but
laugh more and said, “No...Never...okay maybe just a little.”
Fred reached down and grabbed me pulling me back up to sit
straddled on his lap...I moved a little and rubbed my soaking wet center
against his aching erection. And felt
him suck in a breath and said, “Don’t do that again.” I moved just a hair and another gasp of air
sucked in as he gripped my hips and flipped my over onto my back and settled himself between my thighs.
Fred said, “I guess I should ask now...Do you want me to wear
a...”
Before he could finish, I put my index finger against his lips
to hush him...and I pulled him down and we slowly took each other lips in a
sensual kiss that seemed to never end...
Fred’s erection slowly enter Daniella’s
warm silky center...if he wasn’t careful he’s cum and it would be completely
over...Once fully sheathed he sat still for a minute...but when Daniella’s hips started moving and she was kissing his neck
and ear begging for him to take her and make her cum harder then she’s ever cum
before...it was all Fred’s undoing.
He slowly started to move in and out of her...her soft moans
were enough to make him harder and hornier if that was at all possible at the
moment...it was. The moonlight was
shinning just enough in the room that made it look like Daniella
was glowing...and the look on her face was pure bliss...Fred started thrusting
faster...the sounds that filled the air were moans, and groans and bare flesh
smacking bare flesh...It was the sound of two people making love...and Fred
loved to hear every single sound, noise and moan in the quiet room.
Fred felt Daniella’s walls starting to
clamp down around his erection as he felt his own orgasm growing....he could
feel her’s ripping through her body as she laid under
him...as soon as he felt her cum surround his erection there was nothing
holding him back...he suddenly pushed all the way into her and groaned out his
orgasm.
I felt him explode deep inside of me...and I felt completely
satisfied for the first time in my life.
Fred slowly pulled out of me and gathered me in his arms...he kissed
around me face and lips for the next 15 minutes, while we got our breathing
under control...
Soon we fell asleep in each others
arms.
Chapter 15
The next morning...Daniella’s eyes
slowly fluttered open...she felt a pair of arms around her that felt familiar
and suddenly the night’s extra curricular activities
came flooding back to her.
I touched the hands touching my mid-drift...I moved around and
in a raspy voice Fred said, “Morning.” I
giggled and said, “Morning.” I put my
lips against his forehead and kissed him lightly and said, “I’m going to go
shower...Sleep a little longer and I’ll wake you when I’m finished.” Fred said, “Or how about we sleep a little
longer and shower together in a little bit.”
I smiled and wrapped my arms around him and said, “Perfect.”
So, we slept a little longer and then got up and got in the
shower together...when we got out...we got back to the bus and took off to the
next town for the guy’s tour. While we
were on the bus...I pulled my laptop out and jumped online to check the
news...somehow I ended up on MTV.com...and the breaking story was Morgan
getting out of rehab early and going on tour with 12 Stones and Paul McCoy her now
fiancé????
What the hell...Morgan was out of rehab and hadn’t even called
me...to let me know she was doing ok...They even had a new video for Morgan and
Paul...I clicked on it and was watching as the music played...
*****************************
Morgan:
How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb
Without a...soul
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead...it...back...home
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Call my name and save me
from the dark
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Bid my blood to run
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Before I come undone
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Save me from the nothing
I've become
Morgan:
Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe...into me
And make me real
Bring...me...to...life...
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Call my name and save me
from the dark
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Bid my blood to run
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Before I come undone
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Save me from the nothing
I've become
Morgan: Bring...me...to...life...
Paul: I've been living a lie
Paul: There's nothing inside
Morgan: Bring...me...to...life...
Morgan:
Frozen...inside without your touch
Without your love...darling
Only...you...are the life...among...the dead...
Paul:
All this time
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
But you were there in front of me
Morgan:
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything...
Paul:
Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
Morgan & Paul:
Don't let me die here
There must be something wrong
Morgan:
Bring...me...to...life...
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Wake me up inside
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Call my name and save me
from the dark
Paul: Wake me up
Morgan: Bid my blood to run
Paul: I can't wake up
Morgan: Before I come undone
Paul: Save me
Morgan: Save me from the nothing
I've become
Morgan: Bring...me...to...life...
Paul: I've been living a lie
Paul: There's nothing inside
Morgan: Bring...me...to...life............
*****************************
When the song was over...I was sitting at the table silently
crying...Fred came over and said, “Baby...what’s wrong...” I pushed the laptop over to Fred and he read
the news article on Morgan and saw the video and knew I was upset because
Morgan hadn’t bothered to call me...or contact me at all...
Fred pulled me in his arms and I cried myself to sleep.
Chapter 16
A few weeks later, the tour finished up and I went to my
apartment...I looked all over the apartment...Morgan was no
where to be found...her clothes...and practically all her belongs had
been moved from the room. Fred had come
to the apartment with me...apparently he’d had a house close to where we lived,
about 6 blocks from us...
I called Morgan’s cell phone and got nothing from her...I left
numerous voice mails...it was like she had totally disappeared off the face of
the earth. So I called the next best
person Paul...I said, “Paul...where the fuck is Morgan?” Paul said, “Daniella,
don’t get bent out of shape with me...this is between you and Morgan.”
I said, “Paul...she’s my best friend...she’s the closest thing I
have to a sister...and now she just up and leaves...this is so not cool
Paul...so you can either tell me where she is...or I swear by God and all that
is holy...I will have every fuckin’ cop looking for her!” Paul said, “Dani...this
is really out of my hands...Morgan just wants to be left alone right now...we
got engaged and were tying to focus on the wedding
and everything...just let her be for a while...she’s only been out of rehab for
2 weeks...she’s still getting used to her life without drugs.”
I said, “Yes, well if you ever wanna get her started back on
drugs you know who to get a hold of...you CHICKEN SHIT FUCKER!” I slammed my flip phone closed and threw it
across the room and it hit the wall and broken into a few thousand pieces.
Fred came over...and said, “Just a guess...but it didn’t go
well.” I looked up and giggled a little
and said, “What gave it away?” He said,
“Well...chicken shit fucker...was kind of a hint...but the whole exploding cell
phone was like a huge sign.” Fred pulled
me close to him and kissing my forehead and rubbed my back and said, “C’mon you
come stay at my house for a couple of days...well get you a new phone tomorrow...you
can even come with us to play basketball.”
I said, “Okay...good plan.”
So the next morning, we went down and Fred helped me pick out a
new cell phone...and then we ran by the police station...Limp Bizkit’s death threats were getting a little crazy...they’d
been having a few on and off...but the one the night before was a little
physical with 10 bricks through bedroom and living room windows. Death threats weren’t uncommon for the
band...but bricks through the window and so many at once...was definitely
new. We all walked down to the park that
was 2 blocks from Fred’s place and the girls watched as the guys played some
basketball...me and Heather (Wes Borland’s wife) were laughing and making fun
of the guys...we’d decided to head back to the house to grab some water and
we’d be back...
We got back to the house...and there were 3 cop SUV’s in the
driveway of Fred’ place...we ran up and the police chief said they’d finally
found out who’d been stocking the band...and it wasn’t the band the stalker was
after...it was Fred. Some deranged
female fan who said his music was telling her to kill him. Said song number 10 on the album said to kill
him on the 10th day of the month...but before the girl could get
arrested she took off...
I suddenly realized it was the 10th day of the
month. The cops asked us where the guys
were and we said the park...we jumped in the SUV’s and showed them where the
guys were playing basketball...We pulled up and jumped out and just as we were
running across the park lawn...
Everything started going in slow motion...I watched as Fred
walked over to the far wall and grabbed his t-shit and pulled it on...and then
stopped to tie his shoe...as he stood up...gun shots start ringing through the
park. A cop threw me to the ground and every one started hitting the ground...I was clawing trying
to get away from the cop, but he wouldn’t let me go.
I looked up and could see Fred’s body lying prone on the
concrete of the basketball court. A
couple of cops finally rushed the woman and had her cuffed and I scurried to
get to Fred’s side...he wasn’t moving...I got to him and blood was coming
through his t-shirt at his right shoulder and in the middle of his chest...I
said, “DJ and Wes give me your shirts...now.”
They pulled their shirts off and I packed the wounds...I grabbed
Wes’s hands and put them on Fred’s chest and said, “Keep pressure there...it
should slow the bleeding...I packed the other shirt in Fred’s shoulder and
lifted his head onto my lap. I touched
his forehead and his eyes were slightly open...and his baby blues were...
Fred touched his chest...he had his cross on and he gripped the
chain and pulled it hard and broke the chair and grabbed my hand and put the
cross in the middle of my palm and closed my hand up in it...Tears streaming
down my face and he beckoned me to lean over and he whispered in my ear, “Give
it back when I live...I love you.” I
said, “I love you too...” Fred passed
out...from pain or loss of blood...I cried harder...
“Fight! C’mon Fred...hold on a
little longer baby...Please....Please don’t leave me...Please.”
The EMT’s rushed up and loaded him into the ambulance and I rode
to the hospital with Heather and Wes.
Chapter 17
- - 2 Weeks Later- -
I sit in ICU room 215, looking at Fred...he’s paler then
normal...he’s such a white guy...he needs a tan...I watch as the breathing
monitors and tubes expanded Fred’s chest to help him breathe...it had been 2
weeks since the whole stalker shooting...I haven’t left his side once.
Morgan showed up for like 5 minutes...just enough to look
through the glass to see me sitting by Fred’s side...but she never walked in or
anything. I saw her through the
window...she just looked at me and then looked at Paul and walked away with
him.
- -2 More Weeks Later- -
I didn’t know who to cry for more...I was crying for Fred to
wake up, but I was devastated that my best friend of 16 years had cut off all
contact with me. The nurses had showed
me how to change Fred’s bandages...so I stood up and pulled the bandage
off...it had been nearly 3 weeks since the whole incidence...and Fred was
nearly healed...but for some reason he wasn’t waking up...
I ran my fingertips lightly across the scar on his chest, over
his rib cage...suddenly, a small chuckle came from Fred’s mouth, as a hand came
out of nowhere and grabbed my hand and he said, “No...Stop...that tickles.”
Tears sprang to my eyes instantly as I grabbed his hand with
both of mine...for the first time in 4 weeks, Fred’s eyelids, slid open and he
lazily looked around the room...His precious blue eyes were a sight for sore
eyes.
Fred saw Daniella with tears streaming
down her cheeks...and noticed she was wearing the cross he’d given her the day
he’d been shot...he moved around a little and was stiff...he couldn’t imagine
how long he’d been laying in the hospital bed.
Fred lifted his arm and touched Dani’s cheek
and whipped her tears away and then pulled her to him...She laid her head on
his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.
A couple of hours later, the nurse had come in and raised Fred
up to a sitting up position...The doctor came in and said, “Mr. Durst, you’ve
been in a sleeping coma for 4 weeks...yet you’re body has fully healed from the
wounds you sustained...We’re going to run a few tests...but you should be able
to leave tomorrow morning.” The doctor
left and I stayed in Fred’s arms, never moving.
I said, “You do realize, with them discharging you
tomorrow...you’re staying with me from now on.”
Fred chuckled a little and said, “I don’t mind...I like being with
you.” Fred kissed the top of my head and
pulled me all the way into bed and pulled the covers over me…we both fell
asleep.
In the morning the hospital released Fred and I drove him to my
apartment. We walked in and I set his
stuff down in Morgan’s old room and said, “You can keep your stuff in here for
privacy and you can sleep in my room or in here, where ever you feel more
comfortable.”
Fred saw Dani get quiet when
mentioning Morgan’s name she’d told him Morgan and Paul showed up for 5
minutes, and neither came in or say anything to her...pretty much forcing her
to deal with what was happening to him on her own. Fred walked up and nuzzled her neck and she
seemed to snap out of the daze she was in...
And turned around and leaned into his body...he held onto her
and she said, “Why don’t you relax a little I’ll get dinner started...” Fred gave her a soft kiss on the lips and
said, “I’ll unpack my shit and then lie down, wake me
when you’re ready to eat.” She nodded
and gave him a wink and a pushed off his body with her hips and walked out.
Fred started hanging his clothes in the closet...then he noticed
about 20 different shoe boxes sitting in the bottom of the closet...He squatted
down and pulled them out...they were all sitting on a mobile tray...obviously
so Morgan could pick out a pair of shoes with ease.
Fred picked up a big box thinking it was a pair of boots and
opened it...he nearly had a heart attack.
The whole box was full of bag and vials of cocaine and angel dust. One big mirror and a box of
razors to cut and chop up the drug.
Suddenly the door swung open and Fred dropped the box as Dani was standing there.
I must’ve startled him I walked over giggling, Fred had fallen
back onto his rear end and dropped his shoe box...I said, “Are you okay
sweetie?” Fred looked pale...like he was
going to throw up. I squatted down next
to him and said, “Are you ok?” Fred just
pointed to the box.
I leaned over and picked it up and all the contents fell out of
it...I started to fall back but Fred caught me.
Fred looked at her...Dani was in
complete shock.
Chapter 18
Fred watched as Dani moved slowly to
her hands and knees and crawled over and kept his eyes on her as she slowly
started pulling the lids from the boxes...each box revealed something new...one
box had nothing but empty vials that once held cocaine or angel dust...one box
had nothing but bottles and bottles of caffeine pills sleeping
pills...uppers...downers. Another box full of mirrors caked with angel dust or
cocaine...it was like a big fuckin’ drug buffet.
Fred saw the tears streaming down her cheeks he felt
useless...there was literally nothing he could do for the young lady that held
his heart in her tiny hands. Fred
watched as Dani walked out of the room and came back
with a big card board box and a roll of duct tape. He watched as she slowly picked up one box
put the lid on and taped it on and placed it in the box...she did that with all
the boxes.
After she finished she taped up the cardboard box and pushed it
out to the living room and just stood looking at it. Fred could have sworn she looked
defeated. Fred walked up behind Daniella and pulled her into his arms and she broke...she
started crying. Dani
said, “I don’t understand what I did wrong...I haven’t heard from Morgan in
months...not since she went to rehab...She showed up to the hospital after you
were shot and stood outside your room and looked at me for like 5 seconds and
then walked away with Paul. She’s
supposed to be my best friend...my sister...But I don’t even know what we are
anymore.”
Fred kissed the top of Dani’s head and
rubbed her back...trying to calm her while whispering soothing words in her
ear. Fred finally calmed her down enough
and said, “What do you wanna do with the box?”
I looked up at Fred and suddenly felt a rage in me I hadn’t felt
in my entire life. I walked over and
called down to the parking garage and had the guy pull my car out of the garage
and had someone walk up and take the box to my car. I said, “I have to go do this on my
own...Order some pizza I should be back in a couple of hours.” Fred kissed my lips lightly and said, “Be
careful.” I smiled and said, “I will.” I left.
When I pulled up to the rich ritzy looking Apartment complex...I
asked for Paul McCoy’s apartment number...shocker...My name was on the guest
list, of people who didn’t have to have an appointment to come. I walked into the elevator and pushed the 15th
floor button...When I got to the apartment; I pushed the little doorbell...and
heard Paul’s voice say, “I’ll get it Morgy.” Paul opened the door and said, “Daniella...What are you doing here?” I shoved the box into his arms and said,
“Just bringing Morgan her shit that she left at my place when she decided to
leave. I’m sure you can see that she
gets it.” I walked back down to the
elevator and pushed the button again.
A few minutes later a voice behind me said, “Why did you bring
that junk to the apartment?” I turned
around and Morgan had changed her appearance her pink hair was gone and in it’s place was electric blue with black streaks...I scoffed
and said, “Junk it might be, but it’s your junk...you left it in your old
closet...Fred found it...I figured if you was going to have a new apartment you
should have all your shit with you.”
Morgan said, “Where is this attitude coming from...why are you
being such a bitch...you haven’t seen me in months and you can’t even say
hi...or how are you doing since you got out of rehab...You’re just gonna throw
a box of drugs at Paul and act like a bitch.”
I said, “Okay fine...Here let’s start again...ready?” Morgan being the naïve one...nodded.
I said, “Hi...how are you feeling since you got out of rehab...I
hope you’re doing well because you’ve been out of rehab for months and haven’t
called me once...and how’s that fiancée you’ve got...I sure hope he can still
fuck you 6 ways from Sunday like he could before...Oh and by the way,
congratulations on getting engaged I read it on MTV.com right after I saw the
music video you two made together...how precious...oh and just so you know, you
don’t have to ask about Fred, cause he lived...he’s out of the coma and staying
with me until he finishes healing from those gun shot
wounds and ripped through his chest and nearly killed him that were inflicted
by some fuckin’ psycho fan...Thanks for showing up at the hospital for like a
split second to give me some kind of poor-poor pitiful me look...I’m recouping
nicely...considering I was damn lucky one of those bullets didn’t hit me too...”
I finally breathed for a minutes and said, “Is that the attitude
you was talking about? Because from
where I’m standing honey it wasn’t attitude it was just months and months of
frustration that was built up while worrying whether or not how my singing partner,
my best friend...my fuckin’ sister was doing...You didn’t even call me...You
could have called...you could have e-mailed...hell you could have fuckin
carrier pigeoned a message to my ass...but you
didn’t...you just pretended I didn’t exist.”
I started to have tears slide down my cheeks and said, “I don’t
even want to talk to you...after months of being ignored by you...I have so
much more I want to say, but I can’t because looking at you right now makes me
physically ill...I want to puke right now...you couldn’t take 3 small seconds
out of your life to call me...You will never know what it feels like to be shit
on like this. I hope some
day you really know what this feels like. If I would have done this to you...then you’d
know. It hurts more then I’m telling
you.”
I walked in the elevator the door were open, Morgan walked over
and said, “Thank you...Thank you very much.”
In her ‘how could you make me feel so bad?’ voice.
I looked at her, and pushed the button to close the doors, as
they were closing I looked at her and said, “Fuck you very much.” The doors closed and I couldn’t stop myself
from crying...I drove back to the apartment, and went to bed...I couldn’t
eat. Fred tried to get me to talk. But what more could be said...honestly.
Chapter 19
Morgan walked back to her and Paul’s apartment,
in total disbelief...she couldn’t believe the way that Daniella
had just treated her...like she was some common gutter rat street punk. What the hell did Morgan know...she really
should have called Dani when she got out...she knew
how worried Dani was to begin with...But pride got in
her way...she refused to let Daniella or anyone else
see her at her most vulnerable time.
Paul looked at Morgan and said, “She is pissed right?” Morgan nodded and said, “And hurt...You were
right...I should of called her...And I should of done it as soon as I got out
of rehab...what I did was so fuckin’ low...I can’t believe I just treated the
only family I have like shit.” Paul
pulled Morgan into his arms and comforted her the only way he knew how...He
knew Morgan may have lost the only family she had in her life.
A few weeks later, I released my first single for my solo
album...I sent a letter to Morgan telling her it was her decision whether or
not we continued as Sisters of Destruction or we just parted way and lead our
separate lives. The one thing we always
had was music...writing, singing, playing, listening...everything was always
music...and now...Nothing.
Fred did the directing of my first video and was also in it
too...The video started off with me drive Fred and I around the streets of LA
in Fred’s Jeep...we had the top off and my hair was flying out the top...then
it cut to me being on stage rocking the song with my band...and Fred watching
over my from the side. I’d decided in
the beginning of my solo career that Fred would be my solo manager and my
record label saw nothing wrong with that.
Fred was a talented guy and they knew I was in capable hands.
Morgan was sitting at home a month later and was switching
through the channels...and stopped on MTV...and The VJ said, “I’m happy to be
introducing a first solo video from Daniella of the
Sisters of Destruction duo...The song is called Low and her new album that hits
stores in a week is appropriately titled ‘Just the Way Life Goes’...”...Morgan
turned it up and watched the video and then suddenly heard the words that went
with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everybody’s talking
But they don’t say a thing
They look at me with sad eyes
But I don’t want the sympathy
Its cool you didn’t want me
Sometimes you can’t go back
Buy why’d you have to go
And make a mess like that
Well I just have to say
Before I let go…
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend
That let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
Cuz what you did was low
No I don’t need your number
There’s nothing left to say
Except I never thought
It’d hurt this much to be sane
My friends are outside waiting
I’ve gotta go…
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend
That let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
Cuz what you did was low
What you did was low (low)
What you did was low (low)
What you did was low (low)
I walk out of this darkness
With no sense of regret
And I go with a clear conscience
We both know that you can’t say that
Here's to show
For all the time I loved you so…
Soooooooooooooooooooo……
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend
That let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
Cuz, what you did was low
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend
That let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
Cuz, what you did was low
Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend
That let you down so…
Cuz what you did was low…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Morgan just sat there...she knew the song was about Daniella’s anger towards her. How could she blame her...She really hadn’t
given Daniella much of a choice in the matter.
Morgan cried...she might have lost her sister forever...but what
the hell could she do?
Chapter 20
It had been a slow grueling process but Morgan had swallowed her
pride and had finally gone to Daniella to save what
was left of the Sisters of Destruction and most importantly to save what was
left of their friendship...They’d been talking now for about 6 months...and
were slowly getting back to what they once were to each other.
Morgan and Paul had been married now for 4 months...and Morgan
was 3 months pregnant. Fred had asked Daniella to marry him a few weeks ago and she happily
accepted...he knew without a shadow of a doubt any woman who would be willing
to nearly get shot with a bullet meant for him and then fight to help save his
life...was worth breaking down his long term commitment fears and having her in
his life until the day he died.
Fred was sitting out in the crowd...Daniella
was asked to come back and perform at the MTV Music Awards again...she was
going to be performing a song that Fred had never heard but it was a bonus
track on her album that he’d never gotten around to hearing her record or
finding it hiding on the album...Somehow the song was big with anyone who took
the time out to listen to her solo album completely. Fred loved to hear her sing.
Daniella was standing in the
dressing room at the back...She looked at herself in the mirror and knew Fred
would go crazy later.
She started at her feet...she had on 3 inch open toed heals that
strapped around her ankles...and long black leather pants that laced down her
legs, plus down the front and back...plus a matching black leather tank top
that laced down the front and pushed her breasts to the top...Not too much
cleavage but just enough to show off...Her hair had taken 3 hours...one of the
hair stylists sat and spiral curled every hair on her head after pulling it up
into a point tail.
Morgan was actually the one who got to introduce Daniella. Morgan
stood on stage with a little bit of nausea and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen...it
gives me great pleasure to introduce to you the next performer of the
evening...I’ve watched as she’s grown up through the years and in the last 12
months...she shot through the music charts with her first solo album...when
she’s used to being known as a duet albums only kind of gal...I give to
you...My best friend...My singing partner...My sister Daniella.”
Fred watched as Daniella walked out
and nearly had to run home to change his boxers...She looked totally hot...He
couldn’t get over how great her body looked...A mic
popped up from the floor and came straight to her mouth...While this moody slow
bass was filling the speakers...It was a slow seducing song...And Fred watching
as Daniella’s hips swayed back and forth in a slow
motion...as her hands slid all over her body in a sensual motion...
*******************
I'll always think of you
Inside of my private thoughts
I can imagine you
Touching my private parts
With just the thought of you
I can't help but touch my self
That's why I want you so bad
Just one night of Moonlight
With you there beside me
All night, doin' it again and again
You know I want you so bad
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby
Oooh I get so high
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky
You make my temperature rise
You're makin me high
Can't get my mind off you
I think I might be obsessed
The very thought of you
Makes me want to get undressed
I wanna be with you
In spite of that my heart says
I guess I want you to bad
All I want is Moonlight
With you there inside me
All night, doin it again and again
You know I want you so bad
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby
Oooh I get so high
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky
You make my temperature rise
You're makin me high
Baby, baby, baby, baby
I want to feel
Your heart and soul inside of me
Let's make a deal
You roll, I lick
And we can go flying into ecstasy
Oh Darlin' you and me
Light my fire
Blow my flame
Take me, take me, take me away
Oooh...Ah, Oooh...Ah, Oooh...Ah, Oooh...Ah,
Oooh...Ah, Oooh...Ah, Oooh...Ah,
Oooh God I really want you
All I want is Moonlight
With you there inside me
All night, doin it again and again
You know I want you so bad
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby
Oooh I get so high
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky
You make my temperature rise
Boy, you're makin me high
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Oooh I get so high
When I'm around you baby
I can touch the sky
You make my temperature rise
Boy, you're makin me high
Baby, baby, baby, baby
*******************
Fred was the first to jump to his feet, whistling and
clapping...yelling Daniella’s name. By the way, the outfit was definitely the
highlight of their night when they got back home.
Chapter 21
--9 Months Later--
Morgan and Paul had a baby girl that they names Alexandra Marie McCoy...She was
definitely their kid...she was a beautiful mix of their looks together...of
course minus Morgan’s new Purple hair she was sporting.
Morgan, Paul and Alexandra watched as Fred and Daniella exchanged vows in a beautiful outside wedding
ceremony. It was lines with white and
red roses and satins all over the back yard of their new home, which they’d
found and moved into together 3 months prior to the wedding. Daniella was in a
beautiful white satin dress with white open toed heels...and Fred was in a
handsome looking 3 piece black suit...And for once in his life ditched his
signature red baseball cap...
Only to be replaced by a black baseball cap...Daniella just couldn’t help but laugh at him...he’d
absolutely refused to go without a hat...And she figured he leave it off until
after they got married, but once she walked down the isle...and he stood there
looking at her with that damn cap on backwards...she was laughing so hard she
was leaning against him...Her laugh was infectious because every
one else started laughing about it as well.
When everyone got to the reception, they all changed into laid
back clothes, jeans and t-shirts mostly.
I started to walked into the reception hall
when a hand grabbed me and pulled me into a closet...I looked up as a pair of
arms went around my waist and pulled me tight against a body...I said,
“Something I can help you with Mr. Durst?”
Fred looked down and said, “Yes Mrs. Durst you can kiss your
husband.” I wrapped my arms around his
neck and said, “I think that can be arranged.”
Fred brushed his lips against mine as light as a feather
touching me...and slowly increased the passion level...It was such a huge turn
on to get kissed like that by my husband...I was almost ready to beg him to
throw me on the floor and fuck the daylights out of me...but I knew we had
guest waiting.
Fred pulled away and said, “I love you.” I smiled and said, “I love you too.” Fred took my hand and laced out fingers
together and said, “C’mon I have a surprise for you.” I grinned and said, “Really what?” Fred chuckled and said, “Babe...it wouldn’t
be a surprise anymore if I told you...Just c’mon.”
Daniella let Fred lead her into
the reception hall and he sat her down in a chair in front of everyone
else...and after brushing her lips with his he walked up front with Wes and
they pulled out two guitars and sat down in chairs...
Fred said, “When I first met Daniella...I
would think about her constantly...I don’t thing
there was ever a time in the months we’ve been together and engaged when I
haven’t thought of her...she’s been there with me through all the tough
shit...and I was there with her through all of her tough shit...I think it was
just after I’d been shot...and was released from the hospital...Dani insisted I stay with her until I was fully healed...”
I smiled and Fred continued, “So...on day she left me alone in
the apartment one day and I started writing this song...and once I started it
was like I was a writing machine...I couldn’t stop...it took me 8 minutes to
write this whole song...So I waited until the write
moment to give it to her...I guess there is no better time then
your wedding day right?” I blew Fred a
kiss as they started playing and Fred started singing his soft silky
voice...usually yelling and screaming was so calm...and relaxing.
*****************************
The biggest lie you ever told
Your deepest fear 'bout growin' old
The longest night you ever spent
The angriest letter you never sent
The boy you swore you'd never leave
The one you kissed on new years eve
The sweetest dream you had last night
Your darkest hour, your hardest fight
I wanna know you
Like I know myself
I'm waitin' for you
There ain't no one else
Talk to me baby
Scream and shout
I want to know you...inside out
I wanna dig down deep
I wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout
I wanna know you inside out
I wanna take my time
I wanna know your mind
Ya know there ain't no doubt
I wanna know you inside out
The saddest song you ever heard
The most you said with just one word
The loneliest prayer you ever prayed
The truest vow you ever made
What makes you laugh
What makes you cry
What makes you mad
What gets you by
Your highest high, your lowest low
These things I want to know
I wanna know you
Like I know myself
I'm waitin' for you
There ain't no one else
Talk to me baby
Scream and shout
I want to know you...inside out
I wanna dig down deep
I wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout
I wanna know you inside out
I wanna take my time
I wanna know your mind
Ya know there ain't no doubt
I wanna know you inside out
I wanna know your soul
I wanna lose control
C'mon let it out
I wanna know you inside out
So dig down deep
And lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout
I wanna know you inside out
Ohhhh....Yea
I wanna know you inside out
Ohhhh....Yea
I wanna know you inside out
Tell me everything baby...
I wanna know you inside out
Tell me everything...yea-yea-yea
I wanna know you inside out
Tell me everything...
Ohhhh....Yea
I wanna know you inside out
Tell me everything...
I wanna know you inside out
*****************************
After Fred stood up and took me in his arms I couldn’t help but
cry...it was then that I realized everything in my life was as it should have
been...Morgan was back in my life...and I had this great man, husband and lover
in my life that I just couldn’t seem to get enough of.
The End.