All I Had

It’s such a shame but I’m leaving

Can’t take the way you mistreated me

It’s crazy, but oh baby

Don‘t matter, whatever, don’t phase me

David stared at his girlfriend, Svetlana.

Svetlana was, as her name suggested, Russian. She’d come to America when she was three and considered herself completely American. He called her his Star, which was convenient, since that’s what her name meant.

If he had just heard her perfectly enunciated words correctly, she’d just said she was gone.

I don’t believe you wanna leave like this

I don’t believe I just had my last real kiss

I do believe we’ll laugh and reminiscence

Wait a minute, don’t bounce, baby let’s talk about this

Svetlana was staring at her handsome, now ex-boyfriend with raised eyebrows. She and David had been together for over two years now, barely. She knew from the off that he wasn’t the type of man to remain faithful. That didn’t mean she wasn’t about to try to change his wicked ways.

So much for trying.

David had been faithful alright. In the sense that he wasn’t fucking anyone else while he was fucking her. She always knew when he was catting around, he’d refused to touch her. Well, wasn’t that gentlemanly of him.

It was over. Svetlana couldn’t deal with it anymore. She wanted David to be as faithful to her as she was to him. Her vibrator was calling her, asking where she’d been, it was that bad.

Well I’m bouncing, and I’m out son

I gotta leave ya alone

Cause I’m good

Holding down the spot

And I’m good

Repping the girls on the block

And I’m good

I got this thing unlocked

So without me you’ll be fine right

“Star, don’t do this…” David whispered, his voice actually cracking.

Svetlana shook her head, her bags already packed. “I don’t think so, David. I’m not about to be sitting here while me and everyone else on the block knows what you’re out there doing. You’ll be fine without me. Right? Right.”

How could he argue with that?

All my pride, is all I have

Pride is what you had baby girl, I’m what you have

You’ll be needing me but too bad

Be easy don’t make decisions when you’re mad

The path you chose to run alone

I know you independent, you can make it on your own

Here with me you had a home

Time is of the essence why spend it alone

Svetlana was beginning to gather her bags. “Don’t bother David, two years we’ve been doing this and you left me with nothing except my pride. You’re not getting that either.”

“Pride? Pride is what you had, Star, I’m what you got now.” He protested, blocking her way, forcing her to drop the heavy bags.

“Not anymore. You made your own bed and slept in it, with other girls. One day you’ll need me but too bad, I’ll be gone.”

“Svetlana, don’t go making decisions when you’re mad.” David cautioned, holding out his hands in a placating gesture.

The nights I waited up for you

Oh boy

Promises you made about coming through

So much time you wasted

That’s why I had to replace you

“I’m not mad, I’m perfectly calm.” Her eyes flashed for a second. “I’ve had plenty of time to think this through. All those nights I was waiting up on you, remember? I had time to think then.” Svetlana snorted, looking disgusted. “All those promises, you kept none of them. You wasted my time.”

It makes a cat nervous, the thought of settling down

Especially me, I was creeping all over town

I thought my tender touch could lock you down

I knew I had you, as cocky as it sounds

The way you used to giggle, right before I put it down

It’s better when you’re angry

C’mere, I’ll prove it now

C’mere

David’s back was against the wall, almost literally. He wasn’t afraid of much but he had a feeling if that Russian temper surfaced he would need to be afraid. He decided a different approach. “Star, it just made me nervous is all, settling down and all. Especially me, I mean… you know.” He had the common sense to look sheepish.

Svetlana arched her eyebrows.

“I thought I could lock you down, I did with my touch.” He smiled slightly, lost in some very good memories. “Like the way you used to giggle right… c’mere, I’ll prove it now.”

Stop playing, you gaming

I gotta leave you alone

Cause I’m good

“Nuh uh, stop with the games, you’re not going to play with me anymore, David.” She said flatly. “It’s done, we’re over.”

Holding down the spot

And I’m good

Repping the girls on the block

And I’m good

I got this thing unlocked

So without me you’ll be fine, right?

Here we go

“Here we go.” David muttered.”

“You damn straight ‘here we go’.”

All my pride is all I have

Pride is what you had, baby girl, I’m what you have

You’ll be needing me but too bad

Be easy, don’t make decisions when you’re mad

The path you chose to run alone

I know you independent, you can make it on your own

Here with me you had a home

Time is of the essence why spend it alone?

“Star, look, I know you’re independent, I got that. I know you can make it on your own, without me.” He began, taking the totally wrong track. “If that’s what you’re trying to prove, you’ve proved it.”

She shook her head sadly, wondering how he could be so blind. The only thing she whispered was; “Here with me you had a home…”

He frowned, eyebrows drawing together in puzzlement. “Baby, time is precious, why you going to spend it alone? Stay with me.”

“No.”

People make mistakes to make up, to break up, to wake up

Cold and lonely

Chill baby, you know me

You love me

I’m like your homie

Instead of beefin’ come hold me

I promise I’m not a phony

Don’t bounce baby, console me, c’mere

“Star, people make mistakes to make up, break up… wake up.” He urged softly, watching her impassive face. “Wake up cold and lonely… chill baby, you know me, you love me. Instead of being angry come here and hold me. Don’t just leave.”

Ain’t nothing’ you can say to me, that can change my mind

I got to let you go now

And nothin’ will ever be the same

So just be on your way, go head and do your thing now

And there’s no words to explain to me

You’re no good

I know you came on the field and what you can do

So I’m bouncing, and I’m out son

I gotta leave ya alone

“There isn’t a damn thing you can say that’s going to change my mind.” Svetlana said after a long, drawn out silence. She stooped down to get her bags again, squaring her shoulders. “I’m letting you go David. I already know nothing’s going to be the same ever again and that’s fine. You can just be on your way and do your thing.”

He opened his mouth to speak only to find her hand in his face.

“You don’t have to explain it to me, you’re no good. I knew when we got together what you could do. I’m bouncing, out, we’re done.”

All my pride, is all I have

Pride is what you had baby girl, I’m what you have

You’ll be needing me but too bad

Be easy don’t make decisions when you’re mad

The path you chose to run alone

I know you independent, you can make it on your own

Here with me you had a home

Time is of the essence why spend it alone

David could only watch as she walked out the door, following her but not saying a word. He couldn’t even think of the words to say. He had royally fucked up and this time Svetlana wasn’t going to be letting him get away with it.

“Star…” He whispered hoarsely when she stepped out the door.

All my pride, is all I have

Pride is what you had baby girl, I’m what you have

You’ll be needing me but too bad

Be easy don’t make decisions when you’re mad

The path you chose to run alone

I know you independent, you can make it on your own

Here with me you had a home

Time is of the essence why spend it alone

She glanced back at him, settling her favorite baseball cap over her head and sighed. “Bye, David.”

He could only watch as the door swung slowly close in his face. Time was of the essence but it would be him spending it alone. He heard laughter and stepped out onto the balcony, glancing down.

Svetlana was surrounded by her girlfriends, each one of them doing their best to make her forget about the man she had just left.

She glanced up, her eyes meeting his once before strolling away, her heeled boots clicking on the sidewalk as she walked right out of his life.