Better Days
Chapter 1
~Mark
There are things about me
you don't understand, things that I'm not going to explain to you because I
can't even explain them myself. I have
demons, Mark. Demons that eat away at me
late at night when I'm sleeping, urging me.
The urges have called and I can't ignore them.
I'm leaving Arielle in
your care and you have full parental rights over her. I can't be her mother, I would fail
horribly. I love her with all of my
heart, but my demons are getting the best of me.
Please don't hate me for
this. I have to do this, I have to
runaway before I destroy you and her.
You both are the most important people in my life. I will never forget you. You're the love of my life and no matter what
happens to me, just take care of our daughter...your daughter now. I am no longer her mother, I don't have that
right.
I'm sorry.
Jasina~
Mark stared down at the letter he had found on the pillow where his wife's
head usually rested. Sunlight streamed
into his bedroom and he could hear infant Arielle beginning to rouse in her
crib at the foot of the bed. Tears
escaped his eyes, not believing this.
What demons? What had driven her
away from her family? The man who loved
her more than life itself? Setting the
note aside, he went to tend his now crying daughter. His daughter…
~!~
She stared straight ahead while Andy drove, not saying a word. It'd been ten years. Ten long years. Jasina could feel the tears burn her eyes as
she turned her head, remembering the town of Houston, Texas, so many memories
and emotions flowing through her. She
felt Andy, her friend and counselor of the past two years, grab her hand and
squeezed it in return. Not a day went by
that she hadn't thought about her daughter...and her husband. Hell, he wasn't her husband, not
anymore. Jasina lost that right when she
ran away from her family ten years ago because of something she couldn't control.
“Okay...Daddy, next word.”
“Together.” Mark said from underneath his truck, long legs stretched out
on the grass. He glanced at Arielle, who
was laying on her stomach just a few feet away, her brows drawn together.
“C'mon, lil darlin'. It's easy.”
“Oh, I know...I was just thinkin'.”
“Bout?”
“Well...To-Get-Her.”
He began laughing.
The ranch came into view and suddenly Jasina shook her head, shaking from
head to toe. “No...Andy turn around, I can't do this.” She stated, her hand
trembling as she covered her mouth with her hand. “Please.” She whispered
painfully, her heart breaking. “I-I don't have the right...to barge in their
lives like this...”
“Jasina, you have the right to see your daughter. You ran away for a reason. Remember that. You did what you thought was right, what a good
mother should've done in those circumstances.”
“Doing coke and crack and running away from my family doesn't fall under
that category, Andy!”
“Hey Daddy, someone's comin'.” Arielle said, getting to her feet. She giggled when he scooped her up onto his
shoulder, holding his head and hand to keep herself steady. “We know 'em?”
“Probably more salespeople or church folk.” Mark replied, using a bandana
from his back pocket to wipe away sweat, grinning up at her. Arielle was his life, his only concern, he'd
devoted himself completely to her. “What do you think?”
“Lemme go get my BB gun.” She waited for him to put her down before
scampering off.
“Take a deep breath, Jasina. Just
take a slow, deep breath.” Andy coached, knowing this was going to be hard, but
everyone had a shady past, everyone made mistakes. She wasn't turning around. She seen how much pain her friend and client
had been in during their sessions whenever she mentioned Arielle and Mark. “If you
don't do this now, Jasina, you're going to go through life wondering what would've
happened had you taken this chance.” She said, pulling up to the house on the
side of the road. “Jasina, this is your chance at redemption.” She placed a
hand on the woman's shoulder, seeing she was slowly breaking down.
“I can't do this...” She whispered and buried her face in her hands,
shaking her head back and forth repeatedly. “Please, turn around. Go back.
I can't.” Jasina began to sob, the pain rushing through her, knowing she
threw away the best thing that ever happened to her due to her drug addiction.
“Andy, please!”
Mark was sitting on the porch, waiting for the car that was creeping. He heard Arielle coming, her pink cowgirl
boots pounding on the floor. He smirked
when he seen the matching cowgirl hat on her head. She even called his boots cowgirl just to
annoy him though they were regular old steel toes. “Got it?”
She swung her BB gun off her shoulder, cocking it. “Yep, can I shoot if
they turn in?”
“Wait till they get out.”
“I-I'm not ready Andy...” Jasina whispered through heart wrenching sobs,
looking out the window and seen him for the first time in ten years. His beautiful long auburn hair was pulled
back in a braid and the little girl standing beside him...god she was beautiful.
“Jasina...”
“Turn around right now!” She ordered, pulling her gaze away from the
window, wearing black shades.
Andy sighed gently and nodded before pulling a three point turn, heading
in the opposite direction back toward town.
Jasina had gotten a job and an apartment, she was a writer for the local
newspaper under the name Jade. Sighing,
Andy knew this wasn't going to be easy for her friend, but knew in the end, it
would be worth it, should she bite the bullet.
“Chicken butts!”
Shaking his head, he stood up, patting the disappointed Arielle on her
head. “Inside, time to make dinner.”
“Good, I'm starvin'. Steak?”
“Chicken?”
“Hamburgers.”
Nodding, he followed her inside.
~!~
“Thanks for everything, Andy.” Jasina whispered, hugging her friend
tightly around the neck, knowing they would be parting now.
“Anytime Jas, you know that.
Just...I hope you know what you're doing. Are you sure you don't want to go back?”
“I gave up my rights a long time ago.
Maybe one day I'll go, but right now, I can't interfere. They look...so happy.” She sniffled, wiping
another stray tear from her cheek.
Andy nodded, saying her final goodbye, telling Jasina to call her whenever
she had to talk before getting in her car and leaving.
Taking a deep breath, Jasina waited until Andy's car was out of sight
before walking into her apartment, closing the door and pressed her back
against it before sliding down, letting the sobs overtake her.
~!~
“Onion.” Arielle handed over an onion, watching as her dad chopped it into
slices, then began stuffing the insides of their burgers with peppers,
accepting the slices he handed her. “What am I missin'?”
Mark placed the seasoning salt in front of her.
“Oh yeah. Hey, don't forget to cut
potatoes for French fries.”
“Get me a couple potatoes from the bin.”
~!~
Her first week in town, Jasina had stayed in her apartment, not even going
out in public until nightfall. She
walked the streets of Houston, saw a few movies, mostly getting ideas on her
columns she'd start writing for the local newspaper. Jasina had a lot to say and decided this was
the perfect job for her. Her first piece
was about drug addiction and how it could destroy a person's thinking and life
in general. She decided to write her life
experiences, starting at the beginning, leaving out the birth of her daughter
and her marriage to Mark.
She knew Mark read the paper and that's why she went under the name of
Jade. She didn't want him to know she
was back. Jasina didn't know if she
would ever be able to face Mark again or her daughter...no, that wasn't
right. Arielle was not hers
anymore. She hadn't been in ten years,
ever since she left, two days after Arielle was born. Jasina thought about it and it ate her up
inside night in and night out, when she was alone. How could she move on with her life and be
happy when everything around her was so screwed up? Why had she come back to Houston?
Arielle walked the short distance from school to her dad's motorcycle
shop, her best friend Toni, with her. “Nuh uh, can't come over today, I gotta
work.” She said, pushing a lock of hair from her face.
“I wish MY dad would pay me to help at his work.”
“He oughta pay me anyways, I keep that place running.” Arielle said,
nodding wisely.
Jasina sighed as she pulled up to the shop, wondering why she was even
here. Granted Mark wouldn't recognize
her and she desperately needed an oil change for her hunk of shit car. It got her from point A to point B though as
she slowly stepped out, wearing a black tank top with black jeans, black shades
over her eyes, hiding them effectively.
They were teal and her honey chestnut hair flowed down her back in loose
curls, hugging her waist. The last time
Mark had saw her, it was black. She had
went back to her original hair color while in rehab, deciding the black didn't
suit her. Taking a deep breath and
mentally telling herself she was just here for business and nothing more,
Jasina walked inside the shop.
“Mark, customer!”
“Handle it, Steve! Arie is gonna be
here soon.” Mark shouted, busy washing his hands in the back.
“That gal has you wrapped around her little fingers.” Steve laughed,
shaking his head. In truth, she had him wrapped as well. “Hello.” He greeted
when the woman walked in, arching an eyebrow. “Can I help ya?”
Arielle walked in behind the woman. “Hiya Stevie, where's my daddy?” She
squealed when he appeared in the doorway that connected office and garage.
“Dad!” She laughed, running to him and let him pick her up. “You got grease on
your nose.”
Closing her eyes at hearing her sweet daughter's laughter, Jasina suddenly
felt the panic consume her. “N-No thank you.” She quietly said before walking
out of the shop, raking a hand through her hair, and fumbled for her keys. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks
as she got in her car and pulled away, deciding she would find another shop to
get her oil change. What had she been
THINKING coming here, knowing it was Mark's shop? “I'm such a coward.” She
whispered as the tears kept falling while she drove, stopping a red light and
pressed her forehead to the steering wheel.
“What the hell was that all about?” Steve demanded, scratching his bald
head.
“Mind yer mouth, Stevie.”
“Sorry honey bunches.”
Mark just shrugged, looking like he'd already forgotten the woman, his
attention back on his daughter.
After getting her oil change and doing some grocery shopping, Jasina went
back to the apartment and just laid in bed, crying her heart and soul out. She couldn't do this. She had to run again. She would start looking for apartments in
L.A., where she'd run too after leaving Mark ten years ago, opening her laptop
as she began the search. Though instead
of doing that, she ended up writing a column about family. When she was finished, Jasina put it in her
fax machine and shut her laptop down, sliding it under the bed before
proceeding to cry herself to sleep.
~!~
Arielle was waiting patiently in her bed for her dad to come in and give
her a goodnight kiss. “Tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.” She
announced.
Mark blinked, sitting on the edge of her bed. “Yeah?”
“I want to take you.”
“Lil darlin', I'm not a mom.” He laughed, kissing the tip of her nose.
“You're both. When I'm naughty,
you’re the dad and you punish me. When
I'm sick, you're the mom and you make me feel better.” Arielle reasoned.
Chapter 2
Jasina was in the mood to make spaghetti as she walked down the aisle of
the local market, tapping her chin in thought.
Her black shades were on top of her head and she was wearing a red tank
top with blue jean shorts, her hair down.
Sauce was so hard to decide considering the ingredients she used. She picked an Italian one up and kept going,
rounding the corner and smashed right into another cart. The glasses fell down from her head over her
eyes as she looked at who was in front of her, feeling her heart stop for a
brief second, and swallowed hard.
“Sorry.” She quietly whispered before backing up and going around him,
fixing the glasses on her face.
“No, I'm sorry.” Mark apologized, watching her walk away and shook his
head.
“Hey miss, ya dropped this!” Arielle bent down, picking up a can and ran
to catch the woman, smiling broadly. “Here you go!” She held it out, her green
eyes sparkling, her honey chestnut hair pinned back in a simple braid. “Ma'am?”
Taking a deep breath, Jasina turned around and bent down as she took the
can from the little girl. “Thank you sweetheart.” She murmured gently, cracking
a small smile before standing back up and placed the can back in her cart. Arielle had Mark's eyes and her hair, she had
to get out of there before she ended up taking the girl she birthed in her
arms. Jasina quickly rushed to the checkout
line, blinking tears away.
Mark had watched the interaction with a grin, until the woman walked away
like someone had lit her ass on fire.
“Daddy, I don't think she likes kids.”
“Why do ya say that, lil darlin'?”
“She took off kinda fast.”
Once inside her car, Jasina had to learn how to breathe again and let the
tears fall, sliding her glasses off and threw them in the passenger seat. This was ridiculous. She came back here to tell Mark what happened
all those years ago and to try and get back in his daughter's life, only to
keep running every chance that came across her. Jasina was a coward, she knew it, but she was
scared to death and had every right to be.
Mark wasn't a normal man. He was
six foot ten and weighed over three hundred pounds. Three hundred pounds that would probably
crush her if she ever showed her face around him again. Jasina trembled more as she shakily started
her car and pulled out of there, her vision blurred, and tried clearing it.
~!~
“Hey Mark, listen to this.” Steve cleared his throat, feet on the desk as
he ate his lunch, the newspaper spread out on his legs. He began reading an article, pausing only to
swallow.
Too used to Steve's disgusting eating habits, Mark just listened, busy
eating leftover chicken from home, nodding in agreement. “Who wrote it?”
“Guy by the name of Jade. Maybe a girl;
writes like a girl.”
Addiction
It's a powerful
thing. I should know better than
anyone. The reason why I'm writing this
is because I went through a similar situation ten years ago. I had the perfect life. Happy marriage. A beautiful child. Everything was perfect. Though not in the way some may think. Addiction can warp a person's mind and make
them do something so irrational and ridiculous that it seems to be the only way
out. Drugs is what my addiction
was. I'm writing not for pity, but to
tell anyone who reads this that it's never too late. Don't wait to correct your wrongs in
life. It's too short. Believe me, I know. If your addiction is overtaking every
thought, every mindset, every love in your life, then I'm telling you right now
to get out of it. Find a way. Because once you lose those people who mean
most to you, you will never forgive yourself.
Until next time, my
friends.
~Jade~
Mark had taken the paper and reread that, finally clipping out the short
piece and tacking it to the already lined wall.
It was his office, granted, but the walls were covered in everything
from prices to their services. To
Arielle's school work and clippings from local people offering their services
for babysitting or other things.
“Wow, it went on the WALL, I'm impressed.”
~!~
“Jade, this is unbelievable, girl!
How much emotion you poured in this piece is by far anything we've
experienced before. You really have been
put through hell haven't you?” Trish Stratus asked, her editor, staring back at
the woman that refused to take her black shades off.
“Yes, I have.” She quietly said, wearing black dress pants with a lavender
top, raking a hand through her chestnut locks. “I'm glad you enjoyed it. I write to inspire people and give them hope
that if they're in a bad situation, there are ways out.”
“Definitely. Here's your
check. I look forward to your next
piece.”
Nodding, Jasina walked out without another word, check in her purse.
~!~
“So does this mean I should give up chocolate?” Arielle asked after
school, sitting in the garage on a tire, reading the article. Well, she had read it with help, she needed
help understanding some of it.
“Hmmm I don't know.” Mark seemed to be seriously considering it, selecting
a wrench from his toolbox. “Do you think chocolate runs your life?”
“Only on Easter when Grandma and Grandpa gimme them big ol' Easter
bunnies.”
“I think you're fine then, kiddo.”
~!~
“Sorry ma'am, you were double parked.” The man said, sounding bored,
checking to make sure Jasina's car wasn't going anywhere, heading back to the
cab of his tow truck. “Calaway's shop on the west side serves as a temporary
impound, you can pick it up there.” He called over his shoulder.
“Oh my god...” Jasina whispered, not even realizing she'd been parked that
way, and began to physically shake. She
couldn't go there! She watched the man
walk away, not a care in the world, and had to take a deep breath before she
hyperventilated. ‘I can do this.’ She thought, coaching herself, breathing in
through the nose and out of the mouth before calling a cab. Ten minutes later, it pulled up to the shop
and Jasina threw some money at the driver before sliding out, her black shades
on, and waited for it to drive away before taking another deep breath. ‘Just
walk in, get the car, and walk right back out.’ She thought before walking
inside, the bell dinging over her head.
Steve was in the back changing a tire so Mark was the lucky one who got to
go see who had just walked in, he needed to get around to hiring a
secretary. Pinching the bridge of his
nose, he walked into the office, recognizing the woman from the grocery store.
“Hello.” He said, leaning in the doorway, offering her a smile, she was so damn
nervous looking. “Can I help you, darlin'?”
Hesitantly, Jasina walked over and slid the ticket on the desk that the
man had handed her. “I'm here to get my car, sir.” She quietly said, inhaling
the scent of the shop, and closed her eyes momentarily. It was a good thing she had invested in the
sunglasses, even though the sun was starting to set on the horizon. She didn't care as she took a step away from
the desk, trying like hell not to tremble.
Mark stared at the ticket, frowning. “Hold on.” He poked his head into the
garage. “Steve, we get any impounds today?”
“No, but Mike called a few minutes ago to say he'd be bringing one in
after his break. Bout another thirty
minutes, man. Why?”
Snorting, Mark returned to the woman. “It'll be another half hour, have a
seat.”
“Thank you.” She whispered and walked over, sitting in the chair and
crossed one leg over the other, wearing a black skirt with a flame embroidered
tank top that went up the sides, the rest of it being black. Jasina raked a hand through her hair and
looked around the shop, seeing all the pictures and felt the tears build in her
eyes before finally just closing them.
She would stay this way until she left, then she could be out of here
and back in the safety of her apartment.
“Dad, Dad! I got an A on my
spelling test!” Arielle screamed, running through the front door, waving around
a paper with a bright A scrawled at the top.
Grinning, Mark took the paper, studying it. “You remembered together.”
“To-get-her.” She laughed, clapping her hands together, watching as he
pinned the paper to the wall. She
spotted the strange woman and ran over to her. “I got an A!” She announced
proudly.
“That's wonderful.” She softly replied, smiling at the little girl who had
her hair and spirit.
What used to be Jasina anyway. Now
she was just a mere hollow shell of the woman Mark met. She watched as Mark beamed proudly, glad to
see he was a terrific father, she had no doubt he would be. He pinned it up on the wall, causing a big
smile to cross Arielle's face, and it broke her heart even more as she lowered
her head again.
“Dad, I'm hungry.”
“Your snack is in the drawer, mind your manners.” He said gently, slipping
in the back when Steve called for him. “Stay inside, Arie!”
“I know!” Arielle dropped down behind the desk, pulling a brown sack from
the drawer, pulling out a container of dried apple slices and cashews,
grinning. “Want some, ma'am?” She offered.
She was so polite and sweet, Jasina needed her car so she could get out of
here before she did something irrational. “No thank you, sweetheart.” She
quietly declined, pulling her hair over her shoulder, and put her head in her
hands.
She couldn't believe this was happening.
Hell, she knew Mark's shop was who everyone relied on with their
cars. Jasina had been foolish enough to
buy a hunk of junk when she first got in Houston again and was now paying for
it. Five hundred bucks down the
drain. Jasina took deep, calming breaths
to slow her racing heart and kept her eyes closed, knowing nobody would notice
since she had shades over them.
Arielle frowned, watching the woman and finally took her snack and walked
over to sit beside her. “I'm Arielle.
Though everyone calls me Arie.” She said sweetly, holding out a slice of
apple. “You sure? It's good, my dad and
I dehydarated- No.” She frowned, fumbling to pronounce the word right.
“Dehyderated...How do you say it?”
“Dehydrated. You say it with an r
sound. Not der.” Jasina explained
correctly, smiling when Arielle offered her the apple and reluctantly took it.
‘God she looks so much like me.’ She thought sadly, blinking tears away, and
took a bite out of the apple slice. “Thank you.” She kept her voice soft and
quiet, wondering when her car was going to get here. A half hour didn't take THAT long to arrive
did it?
“Thank you.” Arielle said happily, saying the word over and over, finally
nodding in satisfaction. “I can spell together.” She said, grinning.
“T-o-g-e-t-h-e-r.”
Mark leaned in the doorway, clearing his throat, hating to break up his
daughter's boasting, but there was business to attend too. “There was a delay
with the tow truck; your car will be here in the morning.” He said softly. “Do
you need a ride somewhere?”
“My dad has an awesome truck.” Arielle told her.
Jasina could feel her heart literally pounding in her ears as she quickly
stood up. “N-No. No thank you. I-I'll be here in the morning. T-Thank you.” She quickly walked out of the
shop, tears in her eyes, her heart breaking.
Her daughter was so smart, she was a speller just like her mother. ‘I'm not
her mother, I'm nothing to her.’ She thought sadly, wrapping her arms around
herself, feeling how chilly it had become.
There was NO way she could get a ride from Mark, he would know where she
lived then and that was unacceptable.
“Dad, go get her! She could get
mugged! AND it's cold!”
Shaking his head, he stepped outside, jogging after the woman. “Hey wait
up!” He sighed when she didn't stop, catching up quickly and gently took her arm.
“Look, it'd make my lil girl feel a lot better if you'd take the ride,
miss...?” Mark stared down at her, wondering why the hell the woman was wearing
sunglasses at night. “Please?”
She was trembling now, physically, against him and felt him release her
arm, taking a few steps back. Jasina
couldn't let him know where she lived, she just couldn't! But she also didn't want to upset Arielle and
ran a shaky hand through her chestnut locks.
“Jade.” She whispered, knowing she had to lie because not a lot of women
had the name Jasina. When his green eyes
widened, Jasina swallowed hard and immediately began walking away from him
again.
Once again, Mark stopped her, keeping a firm hold on her arm. “I'm sorry
if I startled you or something. Jade's
not a usual name, are you the person who writes them articles in the
newspaper?” He asked gently, beginning to tug her back towards his shop. “C'mon
darlin', it's not like I'm going to mug ya or something. I'm just offerin' a ride to wherever you need
to get.”
“No really that's...” She sighed when he gently pushed her back inside the
shop and wrapped her arms around herself, knowing she had no choice. “And yes I
am.” She answered his other question, swallowing hard, her voice remaining
barely above a whisper. She felt Arielle
come over and actually took her hand, guiding her to the back toward where the
truck was waiting, biting her bottom lip. “I could've walked...” She began
quietly only for Mark to wave her off dismissively.
He was still stubborn as ever and the little girl wasn't taking no for an
answer. What was she going to do? Maybe she could have them drop her off at a
corner that was right by her apartment building. Yeah, she'd do that as she slipped in after
Arielle, closing the door, her eyes staring out the window.
Arielle gabbed away, finally taking a break long enough to ask the woman's
name, grinning. “Jade? That's real
pretty, it's better than Arielle.
Everyone says I'm named after Ariel from the Little Mermaid, but my name
is spelled different. I still like that
movie though, its my favorite. What do
you like? You're really quiet.”
“Maybe if you piped down she could get a word in edgewise.”
“I-I don't really have much to say, sweetheart.” She smiled sadly down at
her, knowing she had to get home before she broke down.
She had named her daughter after her favorite Disney movie, though Arielle
didn't know that. She could feel the
tears burning and did everything in her power to keep them in, closing her
eyes, and felt one slip down her cheek that was facing the window away from
them, wiping it away, acting like she had something in her eye. It killed her, knowing this was the family
she walked out on and it was all because of drugs. Jasina wished she were dead and contemplated
suicide when she got home. Nobody would
miss her. Hell, why would they? She'd left her husband high and dry to care
for Arielle, the sweet little girl beside her, who looked like her except
Mark's eyes. She was scum of the earth.
“Are you sure you want dropped off here?” Mark asked hesitantly, looking
out at the corner she had requested he pull over at. “I don't mind takin'-” He
sighed when she shook his head. “I don't know what time your car will be in,
you can call and ask.” He would have told her he'd call and let her know, but
got the impression she wasn't keen on sharing any of that information, hence
being dropped off here.
“Thank you for the ride.” She whispered and slid out of the truck, knowing
her apartment building was a block away from here.
That was good. Jasina seen how dark
it was and shut the door before sliding her shades off, tucking them in her
pocket, and took off running at full speed down the street. The tears flowed down her cheeks, not looking
back, knowing if she did Mark would know who she was. She could never let him know, she'd made the
decision that she was better off without having that precious angel in her
life. Jasina deserved to be alone after
all she'd done in life and nobody would change her mind of that.
They both watched her, the lights from the truck and the street lights
giving them enough to see the building she slipped into.
“She don't seem very happy, does she, daddy?” Arielle mused.
Remembering the woman's newspaper articles, he idly wondered if she had beaten
her addiction truly and shrugged. It was
none of his business. “No lil darlin', she don't, not everyone is happy all the
time.”
“I am!”
Chapter 3
The following day, Jasina reluctantly sat down at her kitchen table,
having a hell of a headache from crying herself to sleep, and knew she had to
make the call. She found the number in
the phonebook and dialed, her heart thundering in her chest. Just when he answered, she hung up and shook
her head, scrubbing a hand down her face.
How the hell was she supposed to talk to him without him knowing who she
was? She couldn't very well whisper over
the damn phone!
“I need my car.” She said aloud, sitting down and forced herself to dial
the number again, drumming her fingernails on the table and closed her eyes
when he answered. “Mr. Calaway?” She said in a disguised voice. “It's Jade...”
“Oh, hi. Your car just arrived.” He
said by way of greeting, busy signing a form for Mike before shooing the man
away with an irritated scowl. “Uh...you can pick it up...in an hour?” He really
didn't feel like telling her that Mike had popped her back two tires when
unhitching the car from his truck.
“Mark, her back bumper is FUCKED!” Steve shouted.
“I will be there.” She said in a low voice before hanging up, raking a
hand through her hair, and stood up.
Jasina decided to wear black shorts with a black Harley Davidson tank top,
her black shades over her eyes, leaving her hair down. She grabbed her keys and wallet, preferring
not to carry a purse and slipped her black tennis shoes on before walking out
the door, locking it behind her. It took
her twenty minutes before Jasina finally saw the shop, having decided to walk
instead of run, and jogged across the street before entering the shop.
Mark was in the garage with Steve, cursing fluently. “Damn it, I told ya
NOT to tear it apart! Just to fix the
goddamn tires!”
“Sorry, but this piece of shit ain't gonna last the week if it's not
fixed. The transmission is shot, the
water pump is leaking and she needs a new serpentine belt.”
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Mark took a deep breath. “That all?”
“Nuh uh. Her joint bearings are
goin' too, this thing is a coffin on wheels.” Steve stood under the hoist,
staring up at the underneath of Jade's car. “Yep, it's a goner.”
Jasina swallowed hard as she took a deep breath to calm down before
walking over to sit down, her head lowered, her elbows resting on her
knees. Why was she here? Oh that's right, she needed her car. Damn impounders. She was going to kill them for putting her in
this predicament. She was trying to stay
away from this place, away from Mark, and it seemed as if the fates were doing
everything in their power to make her life a living, miserable hell. She didn't realize Mark had come out, rubbing
her temples with her fingers, staring down at her keys.
Raking a hand through his hair, Mark stared down at her. “Um...there's a
slight problem.” He said, wincing when Jade jumped in her seat. “Your back tires
need replacin', they went flat.” They fucking popped like balloons actually,
but he wasn’t about to tell her that. “And...” He hated saying that, it sounded
so ominous. “You also need a new transmission, water pump, a belt and new joint
bearings.” The bearings alone would run about two hundred a pop.
Through the black shades, Jasina's eyes widened to the size of
saucers. She couldn't possibly afford
all of that! Not even with how much her
articles were running her. Sighing
resignedly, she slid the key on the counter, blinking tears away.
“I-I won't be needing it then.” She quietly said, clearing her throat
because she was afraid her voice would crack.
That's what five hundred dollars got her and now she would have to find
something else or simply walk. “Thank you.” She started for the door.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Mark stopped her, feeling bad because his mechanic had
torn the damn thing apart when he shouldn't have. Not to mention she looked like he had just
announced he was shooting her dog. “Now just wait a second here woman. All you need to do is pay the impound
fee. The tires will be paid for by Mike
since he's the moron who blew them and the labor will be coming out of Steve's
check.” Since the jackass had torn apart her car just to entertain himself.
The guilt was gnawing away at her and she couldn't possibly let him do
that. This was the man she ran out
on! How could she take such a generous
offer? She couldn't.
“I-I'm sorry, Mr. Calaway, but I can't accept that.” She softly said, trembling
against him since his hand was sending fire shooting up her arm. He could snap her in half if he knew who she
was. Jasina had to get out of there NOW.
“T-Thank you anyway.” She slipped her arm out of his grasp and ran out of his
shop, tears streaming down her face.
“Well what the hell?” Mark threw his hands up exasperatedly, not about to
chase her AGAIN.
He was beginning to think Jade hadn't beaten her addiction at all. Someone that emotional and prone to running
from people with damn tears on their face had to be jumped up on crack or
something. Sighing, he went out to the
garage and explained to Steve what had happened.
“Maybe she's just scared of you.
You do look...kinda...evil.”
“Fuck you.”
“So what do I do with the clunker?”
“Fix the damn thing.”
Jasina ran the entire way back to her apartment and by the time she was
inside, she was breathing so hard her chest hurt. She wiped her tears away and threw her wallet
on the table before going to her bedroom, not hungry in the slightest. She had no car now; at least she wouldn't
have to run into Mark again, for awhile anyway.
Sighing heavily, Jasina cried herself to sleep, not caring if the sun
was still up. She just wanted to be left
alone to wallow in her self misery. She
deserved everything that was happening to her and refused to leave
Houston. At least she was close to Mark
and Arielle, which was better than nothing.
~!~
It took Steve two days to put the car back together, two because he had
gotten sidetracked with other projects. “Purrs like a kitten.” He said smugly,
revving the engine while Mark listened, his head under the hood. “I gave this
baby a tune up, that woman is lucky you're a kind man.”
“I'm not that kind.” Mark said, closing the hood, smirking as Steve cut the
engine and slipped out of the car. “The cost of the parts are coming out of
your paycheck.”
Steve considered that. “And the labor?”
“You just don't get paid.”
“Aww man.”
~!~
With no car, Jasina was forced to walk halfway across town to go see her editor. She wore a pale blue tank dress with black
two inch heels that she was comfortable with.
Her hair was down and the glasses were over her eyes as always. She never went out in public without
them. She finally arrived and walked to
Trish's office, walking in and handed her the next article that would go in the
paper.
“I'm sorry I'm a day late.” She said quietly. “It's been a...stressful
week. My car died so now I'm resorted to
walking.”
“I heard.” Trish said with a smile, skimming the article and nodded. “Mark
Calaway was in here.” She said, gesturing for Jasina to have a seat, perching
on the edge of her desk, her blonde hair hanging down her back today, catching
the sunlight that came in through the window. “Your car is down in the lot, running
good as new. He explained the situation
to me.” She held up a hand when Jasina opened her mouth. “I'm running an ad in
the paper for him for a week, which cancels out the bill on the car. Consider it a bonus for your work, just keep
delivering these wonderful articles and we won't mention it again.”
Jasina opened and closed her mouth, but all she could think to say was,
“Thank you.”
They shook hands and Jasina walked out after retrieving her car keys,
which Mark left with Trish, and headed down to the parking garage. Why would he do this? Granted, if he knew who she was, he probably
would've junked her car. Jasina looked
up and stopped dead in her tracks, seeing Mark standing there by the car,
looking it over, and felt her heart begin to pound furiously. She could run or she could just face this
head-on, like she'd been doing. Putting
one foot in front of the other, Jasina walked over and seen his head pop up.
“You ran off without even lettin' me try to negotiate some kinda deal with
you.” Mark said, watching her walk towards him, having been checking the tire
pressure, just to make sure. Steve had
driven the damn car around like a kid, just to test it out, make sure it really
was perfect. “Hope ya don't mind, I felt bad that you didn't have a car.”
He still had a heart of gold and it actually made Jasina crack a small
smile, though the sadness was clear in it. “Thank you, Mr. Calaway.” She
quietly said, letting him know how much she truly appreciated what he did for
her. Jasina felt so guilty as she stared
at the car, which looked like brand new.
The body of it was completely redone, it looked like it could be sold at
some car dealership for a good amount of money.
The midnight blue in it didn't have a dent and the tires were brand
spanking new. Tears welled in her eyes
as she walked over and actually touched it, not believing it was hers, and had
to take a deep breath before she broke down. ‘Just wait until you get home.’
She berated mentally before turning to face him. “You are too kind.” That was
the truth.
“I've been told.” He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Look,
it's not a big deal, Jade. Everyone
needs help sometimes, even if they won't ask for it.” His green eyes pierced
her through her sunglasses. “My daughter constantly reminds me of that.” He
didn't explain WHY, it had to do with his now ex-wife -he'd gotten a divorce on
grounds of abandonment- leaving him with a note and a two day old infant. Jasina hadn't been able to ask for help,
she'd ran.
“I agree with you.” She said, voice cracking from the intense emotion she
was feeling at the moment. Jasina knew
what he meant by that daughter statement and it hit her worse than a Mack
truck. “I-I'm sorry to have been a burden.
Thank you again.”
She fumbled with her keys, her hands shaking badly, and finally managed to
slip it in before opening her car door.
She went to get in when his hand shot out, stopping her, forcing her to
turn around to face him. Oh dear god
those green eyes. Jasina closed her
eyes, knowing he couldn't see through the sunglasses, or maybe he could. His eyes penetrated her right down to the
depths of her soul, always had, and probably always would.
“Look, it's not a burden, okay?
It's not charity either.” Mark said firmly. “I've done some work for
Trish before so this isn't the first time she and I have cut a deal. You need a car to get back and forth for
work, she needs you because your articles help sell the paper. I need advertising so it all pans out,
understand what I'm saying, darlin'?”
“Of course, Mr. Calaway.” She whispered softly. “I fully understand. Thank you again for what you did.” She
wouldn't use her true voice, there was no way she could. Not to mention she was trembling from head to
toe and had to get in her car so she could get away from him. He terrified her because of what she'd done.
“H-Have a nice day.” She turned and stepped inside her car, shutting the door
and slid the key in the ignition, shaking before backing up after he was out of
harm's way. She didn't take her glasses
off until she was out of vision distance, crying the whole way home, the guilt
eating her alive.
Shaking his head, Mark watched her go.
He did have to crack a smile at how damn well that car ran, it purred
like a kitten now. He briefly
entertained the thought of cutting Steve some slack since he had worked things
out to square up on the expenses. “Nah...” He murmured, ambling to his truck,
smirking. Steve needed to learn how to
listen. What better way to teach the guy
then to dip into the paycheck?
Chapter 4
Jasina didn't leave her apartment for two weeks straight, hardly eating,
writing articles to keep it running and her bills paid. She had wrote a special thank you note to
Mark for what he'd done, knowing Trish would appreciate that. The article was called Kindness and it
basically explained what lengths people would do to make another person's life
easier and simpler. Jasina sighed as she
sat at her kitchen table, reading a book, and sipped some herbal tea. She hadn't run into Mark and that was a good
thing. Though maybe it was also due to
the fact that she wasn't leaving her apartment except to get food and go to the
newspaper place. She was a hermit and
Jasina preferred it that way. Nobody got
hurt this way.
Arielle was knocking door to door in the apartment building she knew Jade
lived in, her friend Toni with her.
Toni's mom was waiting at the end of the hallway, carrying the extra
catalogues in her arms, smiling patiently.
“How many more things do we gotta sell?”
“Another hundred dollars worth.” They were raising money for the school
for new playground equipment. “Then if everyone else makes the same, we get our
new stuff!” She knocked on another door.
Jade looked up when she heard a knock sound at her door, raising a slow
eyebrow and set her coffee cup down on the table before going to unlock the
door, opening it. Her teal eyes widened
at the angelic sight of Arielle along with her friend. This was awkward as hell.
“Hello Arielle, what can I do for you?” She asked nervously, looking to
make sure Mark wasn't with her. She
couldn’t very well wear glasses in her apartment and silently cursed, chewing
on her thumbnail, her heart thundering.
“You have really pretty eyes, Jade.” Arielle said, studying them
thoughtfully. “Oh,” She giggled when Toni nudged her, holding up a magazine.
“We're selling stuff to raise money for our school.”
“For new playground toys, our swings are-”
“Old.” Arielle said promptly, not about to make it sound like begging or
guilt tripping people into buying things.
The swings were rusted through and snapping anytime someone went too
high on them. They were now banned.
Jasina smiled back at her and bent down, flipping through the catalog,
deciding this was the least she could do. “Wait here.” She instructed softly
before walking over and grabbing a pen, marking down one of everything on the
order sheet. She didn't care what it
was, she would deal with it later. Trish
gave her another bonus after her Kindness article so she had some money to
spare. After tallying it up, which was
over three hundred dollars, she walked back over to the door and bent down,
handing Arielle the order sheet. “You bring that stuff to me when it comes in
and good luck with getting your new swings.”
Toni and Arielle huddled together, reading over the sheet, both their eyes
growing wider and wider. They began
screaming, jumping up and down, clinging together. Arielle's chestnut hair flew all over the
place, a startling contrast to Toni's black corn rows.
“Girls!” Toni's mom shushed, walking over to them. She took the sheet when they held it out,
covering her mouth with her hand when she seen the amount, her dark face
lighting up. “We'll make sure you get your order as soon as it's in.”
“There's no rush. Her father,”
Jasina gestured to Arielle. “Really helped me out with my car and I figured
this was the least I could do. I want
you to get your new playground for your school.
It shows tremendous dedication on your part to go door to door like that,
Arielle.” She sighed almost sadly, wanting to pull her daughter in her arms,
but knew she couldn't. She grunted and
blinked when Arielle suddenly hugged her, wrapping her arms tightly around her
waist, and Jasina felt the tears sting her eyes as she closed them quickly
before gently backing away. “Thank your father for me again, will you?” She
asked quietly, her tears dried up, not wanting anyone getting suspicious.
“Sure, hey! Why don't you come to
dinner with us tonight?” Arielle gestured to herself, Toni and Toni's mom.
“We're going to Chuck-E-Cheeses!”
“I'm Lashonna by the way, everyone just calls me Onna though.” The woman
greeted, extending a hand. “You know Mark?
He's such a great guy, bit of a sad-” She glanced down at Arielle who
was chatting with Toni. “He had a hard time awhile ago, it's so hard to believe
he's as kind as he is. You'd have to
know him better I suppose. But it would
great for you to join us, my husband will be there so you won't have to feel
like a spare tire.” She laughed kindly.
One look in those pleading emerald green eyes and Jasina found herself
agreeing to go with them against her better judgment. The nagging guilt was eating away at her even
more as Lashonna told her about Mark having a hard time, knowing that was because
of her. She told them good luck again
and promised to meet them at Chuck-E-Cheeses before closing the door, finally
letting the tears fall. Even with giving
her that three hundred dollars, Jasina felt terrible and couldn't believe she
had agreed to go. She couldn't wear her
shades in the place, she'd definitely look suspicious. Sighing, Jasina went to take a shower,
knowing she only had a few hours to get ready.
~!~
Lashonna was waiting patiently for her outside of Chuck-E-Cheeses later
that evening, smiling when Jade appeared.
Arielle and Toni were already inside with her husband, Harry, having the
time of their lives. “I'm so glad you came.” She said when Jade reached her.
“Arie seems to think you're lonely.” She confided, pushing open the doors. “The
girl is a humanitarian, always thinking about others.”
Jasina decided to wear a simple denim skirt that went two inches above the
knee along with a black halter top, leaving her hair down, but it was clipped
on either side along with white Skechers on her feet. “She's a sweet girl.”
Jasina said softly, knowing her heart of gold came from her father. As soon as they walked in, Arielle
immediately rushed over and took Jasina's hand, pulling her away from Lashonna. She had no choice, but to go wherever the
little girl wanted, a small smile on her face.
“Look, you're kinda big, but you can still fit in the tunnels.” Arielle
said seriously, getting on all fours and crawling in, turning her head to make
sure Jade was following her. “There's a ball pit up ahead, it's kinda deep, but
it's a lotta fun!” She laughed, rounding a bend, disappearing from sight.
“Arielle, I'm not sure-” She sighed when the little girl shouted for her
to come on, knowing she had no choice.
The little girl already had her wrapped around her damn finger and
reminded her so much of Mark. It was
actually kind of scary. Jasina went
through the tunnels with ease, following Arielle and slid down the slide when
she was sure Arielle and the girls were out of the way. Jasina plummeted into the balls and started
laughing when she began getting pelted with them, trying to get out, only to
slip and fall before beginning to throw them lightly in return.
Toni joined the fray, shrieking with laughter when Arielle ducked her
under the balls, then both girls going after Jade.
“Mark! I thought you weren't going
to be able to make it?” Lashonna asked from their table, smiling as he dropped
down by Harry.
“Steve covered for me so I could.” Mark replied with a grin, swiping a slice
of pizza. “Where's the girls?”
“Playing. Arielle got Jade to
come.”
“How'd you guys run into her?”
“My wife took the girls around the neighborhood to sell the items for the
new playground.” Harry smiled at the thought, looking over at how the girls
meshed well with Jade. “Look at this order form, man.” He pulled it out of his
pocket, still not believing it, handing it over to Mark. “She bought one of
everything on that order from. That's
close to four hundred dollars.” Jasina had been off in her calculation.
“Arielle!” Jasina laughed when she was pelted with more balls, finally
managing to escape by the skin of her teeth and stood up as she smoothed her
skirt down.
Jasina groaned, pulling a ball out of her hair and threw it back inside
before shaking her head, a smile on her face.
She hadn't had this much fun in ten long years and it was so ironic that
it was with Arielle, her very own daughter that she ran out on. She sighed when Arielle took her by the hand,
leading her to another game.
Mark grinned, leaning back in his chair, watching Arielle and Jade,
laughing when Toni ran up to hug him. “Hey sweetie, you havin' fun?”
“Yeah, but I'm really, really hungry.” She replied with a grin, moving to
sit down. “Arie, your dad it here!”
“One minute, Jade and I are playing- DADDY!”
Jasina froze in her tracks when Arielle left her to go run to her father,
the breath leaving her body, swallowing hard.
Mark was here and she didn't have her glasses!! What the hell? Jasina had to make an escape fast, but how
could she when Mark was sitting by Lashonna and Harry. She groaned when Arielle pointed at her,
raking a hand through her hair and waved nervously before trying to figure out
a plan.
“Sorry honey.” She murmured when she bumped into a kid, knowing he was
watching her every move. She held her
finger up when Arielle waved her over and rushed to the bathroom, hoping there
was a window she could crawl out of.
There wasn't.
Mark grinned when Arielle launched herself at him, smothering her in kisses
until she went 'Eww gross'. “Nuh uh, you plant one right here or I'm not
stoppin'.” He teased, tapping his cheek.
When she gave him a quick peck, he reluctantly let her go, watching as
she settled down by Toni. “So where'd Jade get off too?”
“She had to spring a leak.”
Lashonna snorted her Pepsi.
‘Oh my god what am I going to do?’ She thought frantically, tears welling
up in her teal eyes, covering her mouth with her hand.
Taking a deep breath, Jasina calmed herself down and thought
rationally. She decided she would sneak
out, cutting through the next room to head to the exit. Now that she had her game plan set, Jasina
sucked in another breath before leaving the bathroom, hearing Arielle's
laughter, and went along the wall. Kids
were running around everywhere and she managed to slip into the next room
without being seen, quickly making her way through, and finally arrived at the
other side. Why did they have to get a
table so damn close to the doors? Jasina
closed her eyes and seen a guy dressed as the Chuck-E-Cheese mascot mouse
coming toward her, immediately standing right in front of him as he walked
toward the exit.
“Thanks.” She whispered and slipped out the doors.
When Jade didn't come back, Mark had sent someone in to check on her, finally
hearing from one of the staff that a woman who fit her description had been
seen leaving. He had to explain to
Arielle that something must have come up for her to leave so abruptly,
reassuring his precious angel that it wasn't anything she had done. “When her
stuff comes in, I'll take you to drop it off and prove it.” He stated finally.
Jasina arrived at home and threw her keys and wallet down on the table,
having to take several deep breaths to calm down. She'd been THIS close to Mark finding out and
now Arielle knew where she lived. “Damn it!” She hissed, raking a hand through
her hair and paced in her living room, having kicked her shoes and socks
off. What the hell was she going to do? The little girl obviously liked her, if she
only knew who she really was. Then she
would hate her. Jasina started crying as
she dropped to her knees, covering her face with her hands, knowing this was
one big mess. “I should've never accepted to go. I probably hurt her feelings.”
~!~
“Daddy...I was thinkin'.” Arielle commented, sitting between his legs as
he brushed her hair later that night, fresh out of the bath. “I think Jade's
really lonely.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because, she just seems that way.” She winced when he caught a snarl.
“Ouch.”
“Lil darlin', sometimes, people just...” He sighed, deftly braiding her
hair before turning her to face him, cupping her face in one large hand,
staring down into those innocent eyes. “Sometimes people just need to be
alone.”
“Why?”
“Because they need time to heal.”
Chapter 5
Jasina had refused, flat out REFUSED, to leave her apartment, ordering
take-out and faxed her articles to Trish, knowing the woman didn't mind. She was isolating herself from the world and,
more importantly, from her daughter and Mark.
Before she knew it, two months had passed and Jasina had only gone out a
few times in that time span for fear of running into them. She hated herself for doing it, but she
couldn't help it. Mark terrified her and
if he ever found out...he would maim her, plain and simple. Jasina knew the type of temper the man had on
him and it took A LOT to spark it. Once
sparked, no one was safe and that scared Jasina more than death itself.
It was a Thursday afternoon and Jasina was enjoying a glass of lemonade
while reading a book, wearing black cotton shorts with a matching dark blue and
black tank top when a knock sounded at her door. Frowning, Jasina got up to see who it was.
This time it was Mark escorting Arielle and Toni, his arms bogged down
with everything Jade had ordered, covering his face. “I can't see.” He
complained.
“You just stand there and look pretty, daddy. Hiya Jade!
We brought your stuff.” Arielle said, grinning up at the woman she
hadn't seen in two months. “Where have you been? We ain't seen ya around.”
“My mom said to tell you she's havin' a potluck if you want to come.” Toni
added happily.
It was a damn good thing Mark couldn't see her because if he had...Jasina
swallowed hard and nodded before opening the door, letting the girls and Mark
in. She kept her back to him
effectively, seeing everything she had bought. “Did you girls get your new
playground?” She asked quietly, not answering Arielle's question, not wanting
her to know she had been isolating herself, going into the kitchen to write a
check. “Toni, tell your mother I said thank you for the offer, but I must
decline.” She said it in the same voice, walking back over and handing Arielle
the check, keeping her eyes from Mark's as she looked over everything again.
“Why?”
“Yeah? We're gonna be there,
Daddy's bringin' his pistachio pudding.
And did you hear me? Our new
stuff is gonna be put in as soon as we pay the company!”
Mark frowned, watching Jade. “The girls are talkin' to you.”
“Yes, I just...I have a lot of work to do, girls. I'm sorry.” She quietly replied, biting her
bottom lip, her body tensed and sighed when she felt Arielle's hand on her arm,
looking down at her. Those deep green
eyes were pleading with her again, but Jasina knew she couldn't do it. She could not risk Mark finding out who she
was. “Arielle, you don't know me sweetheart,” She began, blinking tears away,
clearing her throat. “Look I'm not a very sociable person. That's why I left that night. I'm not comfortable being around a lot of
people. It's just who I am. I'm sorry.” She took her arm out of Arielle's
grasp gently.
Arielle frowned, trying to understand, remembering what her dad had told
her two months ago about people needing time alone to heal and smiled, nodding.
“Okay, when you're finished healin', can we hang out then?” She asked,
brightening right up.
Mark coughed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.
“I can't, I'm sorry.” She whispered, tensed beyond belief. “Thank you for
bringing this stuff to me. I hope you
girls enjoy your new playground.”
Her voice was quiet again, her back still turned to Mark and she was
gripping the chair so hard, her knuckles were turning ghostly white. She didn't care. This was her way of dealing with things and
she had to push Arielle away before Mark found out. She wiped a tear away from her eye before
walking into her kitchen again and began doing dishes, also letting her silent
tears fall.
“Girls, outside.” Mark ordered, not too pleased with this woman who was
being almost intentionally rude to his daughter. The minute Arielle and Toni were in the
hallway, he walked into the kitchen, staring at Jade. “Woman, what the hell is
yer damage? She's just a little kid
tryin' to be friendly and you keep pushin' her away. If you really don't like her, just say so.”
“Mark, you really don't want to know what my damage is and you don't want
me hanging out with your daughter. Trust
me, I adore her. I…”
She dropped the fork in the sink, her heart pounding in her chest, her
shoulders slumped in defeat. What was
she supposed to do? Lie? Jasina couldn't do that and slowly turned
around to face him, her teal eyes meeting green as the tears fell down her
cheeks. Ten years, ten years without
this man in her life, and Jasina had done everything in her power to stay away
from him. This was her judgment day, it
was her time, and she could only pray Mark either didn't recognize her or
didn't kill her.
Mark stared down at her. His face
going from puzzled, to sad, then to pure rage in a matter of seconds. “You're
right, I don't want you around MY daughter.” He said his tone ice as he spun
and walked out of the apartment.
Her eyes! He had thought something
was familiar about her, but hadn't been able to place it. But there was only one woman he knew who had
teal eyes. He took Arielle and Toni by
their hands, guiding them down the hall.
She had changed her hair, it wasn't black. She also looked...different, physically
different. Like something had- It
clicked. Her articles.
Jasina dropped to her knees in the kitchen, her heart plummeting to the
pits of her stomach, and cried. She
cried so hard that her chest and body physically hurt. For hours, she stayed there, not able to get
the look of his green eyes out of her mind.
She had tried. She had tried so
hard and had failed.
Finally pulling herself up, Jasina managed to make it to her bedroom
before collapsing on the bed, the sobs tearing every fraction of her body
apart. When she could no longer
function, Jasina let the darkness sweep her away, all the pain and hurt in that
tiny room and nowhere else to go.
~!~
Mark sat up long after Arielle was in bed in the living room with a beer
before him. Empty beer bottles lined the
coffee table. He could go through a case
and still walk a straight line. He knew
because he had just tested it. His anger
was keeping him from a buzz. How DARE
she come back! How DARE she knowingly
come around HIS daughter after WALKING out on THEM! Gritting his teeth, Mark crushed the bottle
in his fist, not even feeling the glass piercing his skin.
~!~
Jasina didn't leave her apartment, the blinds drawn, refusing to go out in
the world. She spent her time writing,
something she had found to escape her misery and life for a few hours out of
the day. She couldn't believe Mark had
found out, but what did she honestly expect?
He had backed her into a corner and she had no choice. None.
She couldn't hurt him again by telling him Arielle needed to stay away
from her. It was time the truth came out
anyway. He was angry, he had every right
to be, and Jasina wasn't going to go near him or Arielle. She wasn't going near the shop, nowhere in
fact. She was running out of groceries,
but Jasina couldn't bring herself to face the day.
~!~
“Wait, you mean Jasina is Jade...” Steve whistled, shaking his head. “Man
that is fucked up. Does Arie know?”
“Hell no, and she's not going too either!” Mark snapped, breaking a bolt
he had been tightening, throwing aside the wrench angrily. “All she knows is
that her momma left when she was a baby, she sure as hell don't need a junkie
mother in her life now!”
Steve could only shake his head, again.
~!~
Midnight rolled around and Jasina knew she needed groceries. Badly.
Sighing, she reluctantly walked out, wearing black sweat pants with a
black hoodie, getting in her car and driving to the twenty four hour
market. She parked and stepped out,
walking inside and grabbed a cart. She
felt so isolated and couldn't stop the tears from welling in her eyes. No.
She wouldn't cry, not in front of people. She would wait until she was back at her
apartment as she began throwing things in the cart. When she was finished, Jasina went to
checkout and paid for her things, walking out of the market an hour later, and
put the bags in her trunk. She slammed
it shut and slid in her car before going back to her apartment. At least now she wouldn't starve.
Trish had left countless messages for Jasina to come into the office,
getting more than a little irked when Jasina kept making excuses. She had finally given up and went there,
granted the hour was late, but she didn't care.
Looking a bit out of place in this part of town in her dress pants and
dove grey silk blouse, she hurried up to Jasina's apartment and knocked,
pressing her ear to the door when she didn't get an answer. Fine, she'd wait.
Jasina walked up the stairs with ten grocery bags in each arm, stopping
when she seen Trish, her editor, staring back at her. “Trish, what are you
doing here?” She asked, having gotten her messages, but figured faxing would've
sufficed. She sighed when Trish helped
her with the groceries and walked inside her apartment, flipping the light on
and brought them into the kitchen, Trish closing the door behind her. It was after one in the morning, what the
hell was so damn important?
“I am here to make sure you're alive and it's not some zombie faxing me
those articles.” Trish said bluntly, knowing it was late, but she was the
editor of a major city newspaper, she was often working late. “What's going on
Jasina? When I hired you, you
were...more alive, now you look like that zombie I mentioned earlier.” She
folded her arms over her chest, arching an eyebrow.
Jasina sighed heavily as she dropped in a kitchen chair and buried her
face in her hands. She proceeded to
explain about Mark Calaway and everything that happened, including her drug
addiction, and why she had left her little girl after only knowing her two
days. She explained why she came back to
Houston, only to change her mind, but not having the money to move again,
thanking her repeatedly for the opportunity.
When Jasina was finished, she was just one big ball of tears and they
wouldn't stop as she wiped them away. “I
ran away from my life, Trish, and now...now I don't know what I am
anymore. All I know is that I've been
looking to relocate to somewhere outside of Houston so Mark doesn't have to see
me. I'm sorry...I just wanted to keep
this to myself and that didn't happen.”
That was a LOT to digest. Trish had
to sit down as well, just staring at Jasina, combing her fingers through her
hair as she thought about everything she had just been told. “So he didn't know
about your addiction, you just left him a note and an infant...” She murmured.
“Does he know now why you left?” She was assuming he did, just needed things
clarified.
“No, only what he's read of my articles.” She replied softly, standing up,
needing a tissue as she shook her head. “Trish, I seen how happy they
were. I don't want to mess that up. He can think whatever he wants. I'm not getting back in his daughter's life
because I don't have that right. I walked
out on her, on him, on our marriage. I
am scum of the earth and the only thing that makes me even the slightest bit
happy these days is knowing she's growing into a beautiful girl. That's all I care about. She doesn't need me, Mark has been there for
her and he'll continue to be. They don't
need me.” She started crying again and sat down, putting her head in her hands.
“So I'm sorry if I've been closed up, but I've been trying to avoid running
into them.”
“Well Jasina, the way I see it is you can either run away or pull your
head out of the sand and live your life.
You made a horrible, horrible mistake and you've paid for it.” Trish
said bluntly, she wasn't one to sugarcoat things, ever. She expected people to own up to their faults
and then atone for them. “You can hide in this apartment or you can come out
and live. Either way...if I don’t see
you in the office Monday morning, nine AM sharp, you're fired. I'm promoting you, don't blow it.”
Her head snapped up, tears flowing down her cheeks, her teal eyes widened.
“What?” She slowly stood up as Trish grinned at her, wondering what that
meant. She was being promoted? That would mean she would have to go to the
Houston Journal and actually WORK there? “Trish, what exactly am I going to be
doing now?” She asked softly, having really enjoyed writing her columns, and wiped
more of her tears away.
“I'm making you our new ‘ask’ girl.” Trish said with a grin. “You can
still do your articles. But you'll also
be in charge of picking out a couple of questions from our readers and
answering them, all to be printed of course.
You know, a Dear Abby thing. Our
last 'ask it' girl was fired, bad advice.
I think you'd be perfect for the job.”
Jasina could only nod, still blinking as she ushered Trish to the door,
chewing on her thumbnail. “Thank you for the opportunity, I'll be there.” She
promised, managing to get out and closed the door before pressing her back to
it.
Closing her eyes, Jasina wondered if maybe this was the moment that would
turn her life around. She got to work
putting her groceries away before taking a hot shower and then went to bed. Jasina had hope for the future and decided
that she couldn't hide anymore. She
would face her problems head-on...and avoid Mark Calaway at all costs.
Feeling pretty pleased with herself, Trish walked out of the building and
to her car, frowning when she seen the slashed tires. So much for her new Benz. She was about to whip out her cell phone when
a truck drove by, stopped and backed up.
“Honey, it ain't safe out here, especially for a woman.”
Trish just smiled.
Chapter 6
Monday rolled around before Jasina knew what hit her and to say she was
nervous was an understatement. She ended
up calling Andy three times during the weekend, explaining to her everything
that happened. Andy told her this was
apart of the healing process and that she had to stick this out, she couldn't
run away. Jasina knew she was right and
now she was back in the real world.
Wearing a pinstriped midnight blue and white skirt suit, Jasina walked
in with her black shades on top of her head, hair down, and she was wearing
matching pumps. She walked straight to
Trish's office and knocked before entering, taking a deep breath and knew she
had made it by the skin of her teeth as far as time went.
Trish's brown eyes narrowed, glancing at the clock pointedly, the table
filled with the newspaper staff. “Have a seat, Jasina. Everyone who hasn't met her, this is our
Jade.”
“The article Jade?”
“How many Jade's do I have writing for my paper?” Trish laughed, shaking
back her hair. “She'll be stepping into the role of Ask Me, but we need a new
name for it.”
“Ask Jade?”
Smiling gently at everyone and shaking a few hands, Jasina sat down at the
table, pulling her shades off of her head and tucked them at her side before
focusing on the meeting. She still couldn't
believe Trish had promoted her and had to take another deep breath to slow her
racing heart. Ask Jade. Who was she to be giving advice? Andy had simply told her Trish saw something
in her that nobody else had and that she had to do this, to take this next
step.
“I...I don't know.” She finally answered when Trish asked her what the
section should be called. “I kind of like the Ask Jade title that was mentioned
earlier.”
Lisa nodded, a pencil tucked behind her ear, glancing at Trish then back
to Jasina. “It fits in with the whole 'Dear Abby', 'Ask Margo' theme from
national papers. Our readers will know
what to expect with the new section.”
“Basically people will ask your advice.
Expect questions regarding what to do at weddings, family problems, just
general things. Jesse has some clippings
of those Dear Abby letters to give you an idea what you'll be doing. For your first time writing for it, we'll be
giving you a few questions ourselves, then you'll be answering ones sent in by
readers.”
“I understand.” Jasina said as the article clippings were handed to her,
putting them in the folder Trish had handed her when she first arrived,
deciding she would read over them later.
The rest of the meeting was about deadlines, including hers, since her
column would still be published along with the Ask Jade section. She would definitely be a lot busier and
appreciated all Trish had done for her.
The woman was a saint, in her own way, and had a big heart for someone
who used to be into drugs. “Thank you for the opportunity, Ms. Stratus.” She
said once everyone left. “I will try not to let you down.”
“You had better not, Jasina.” Trish said seriously, staring at the other
woman intently. “I know you have problems, everyone does, but yours are a lot
different from most. But...even with
your history there is no reason why you shouldn't lead a normal, healthy
life. Consider this my way of pushing
you out of your hole.” She patted Jasina's shoulder. “You'll also be seeing an
increase in your checks, buy yourself some tinted sunglasses. Those black ones get depressing.”
For the first time in a long while, Jasina genuinely smiled and hugged the
woman tightly. “Thank you for believing in me.” She whispered, pulling back. “I
will get new glasses.” Jasina promised before walking out of Trish's office and
toward her new office.
It even had her name, her real name, Jasina Jameson, engraved on a gold
plate that was hung on the door. Jameson
was her maiden name, she had changed it legally after her divorce with Mark had
been finalized. Jasina walked into her
office and sat down in the chair before pulling her folder out and began
reading the articles. Family life,
advice on what to do, relationship advice...was Trish out of her mind?
Trish was not out of her mind, she was actually one hell of a cunning,
devious woman. Given that Jasina had
given up her family, she would be more sympathetic for the young people who
frequently wrote asking for help when it came to the issues that plagued them:
drugs, drinking, addictions. Not to
mention Jasina would have an unbiased view on things. Hopefully.
If this didn't start getting that woman's head out of the ostrich hole,
Trish was going to kick her ass.
After getting her office the way she wanted it, which wasn't hard
considering Jasina had no pictures or anything, she got to work on her next
article. Forgiveness. She didn't deserve it and she knew it, but it
was the topic that had been branded into her mind. Halfway through the day, she looked up when
her office door opened and in walked Trish, finishing up a line before saving
and closed her laptop. Nobody read her work
until it was finished, that was one of Jasina's general rules.
“I take it you're here for the questions?” She asked with a hesitant
smile, hoping she could pull this off and not give 'bad' advice.
“Of course I am.” Trish said brightly, sitting down across from Jasina,
crossing one leg over the other. “Normally I'd have one of the junior editors
look it over, but I'm curious so…” She teased, flashing one of her brilliant
smiles. “Before I see it, tell me, how do you think you handled the
questions? Are you satisfied with the
answers you gave?”
“I feel I answered them to the best of my ability.” That was the honest
truth as she pulled the printed paper from the printer and handed it over, her
answers to the questions on it. “Hopefully they're satisfactory.” Jasina would
be lying if she said she wasn't nervous.
She was on pins and needles and chewed her thumbnail while Trish looked
them over, waiting with bated breath.
Trish read the answers, beginning to smile. “This is perfect.” She
announced finally. “You don't read like any of the other advice columns out
there, so that's something new, something fresh. You think you can keep this up? I'm sure you'll have an assortment of
questions to pick from so you shouldn't get too bored.” She joked.
Jasina sighed a huge breath of relief and nodded with a smile of her own.
“Yes I can.” She wasn't going to question it anymore. Jasina knew she was meant to do this, to
write her column and do this Ask Jade section for the newspaper. With her life experiences, she could
potentially help a lot of people with their problems. Jasina had seen a lot in her life thus far
and wanted to do everything in her power to help those who were in the same or
similar situation as she had been in ten years ago. “I'm almost done with my
column for Sunday's paper.”
“Already? You are quick. Keep working this way and I'll take advantage
and overwhelm you.” Trish joked, standing up from her chair, smoothing down the
front of her blazer. “Now the questions will be a daily thing, so we're going
to use these for the first week, then when they start coming in, you'll need to
be in the office everyday. No more
faxing unless it's an emergency.”
“I'll be here everyday.” She promised, knowing she wouldn't be able to
stay in her apartment holed up anymore.
Somehow, that didn't bother Jasina and Trish was a blessing in disguise.
“Just let me know when the next batch of questions come in.” She said before
flipping her laptop back up as Trish walked out, beginning to type. She had to get this article done before it
vanished out of her mind.
“Oh...by the way...” Trish poked her head back in. “We're having a
barbecue Friday morning, just something we do when the weather is nice. Casual dress and bring something, just not
jello. See you later, honey.” This time
she really did walk out and not pop back in.
Jasina shook her head with a smile, knowing Trish was trying to get her to
interact with other people. There was no
way out of it and Jasina wasn't even going to attempt trying. She'd been blessed with a great job and, with
the salary she was making now, she could potentially get her own house. Or maybe even a condo. Yeah a condo, she didn't need a house. Hell, it was only herself she had to take care
of. That thought saddened her, but then
again, who knew what the future held?
With that thought in mind, Jasina finished up her article and put it in
her outbox before getting started on ideas for her next one.
~!~
“Hey Jas, look.” Trish grinned, knocking once and entering Jasina's office
a few days later, waving a handful of envelopes. “You're getting questions already.”
She dropped them on the desk, pointing at the names in the return addresses.
“Notice how people don't use their real names?
Or no return address? They want
to remain anonymous so any names you do come across, change them.”
“Wow, all of these already?” Jasina blinked, wondering where to begin as
the stack of envelopes were set on her desk.
At this rate, she would never see her apartment again and grinned at the
thought. “I'll change their names to anonymous.” She said with a nod before
taking the first envelope and opened it, unfolding the paper, and began to
read. She had a lot to get done and
there was no time like the present to start.
Dear Jade,
Sometimes I think my daddy
is lonely. How do I make him smile again? He hasn't smiled for almost a month.
~Little Mermaid
PS: My teacher helped me
write this!
Running a hand through her hair, Jasina set the letter to the side and
opened her laptop, beginning to type the question, ignoring the PS part, and
then proceeded to type her answer.
Little Mermaid
The only thing I can
advise you to do is give him a lot of hugs and kisses. Maybe even make him something that's from
your heart. As far as your father being
lonely, the best advice I can give you is time heals all wounds. Everything will be fine, give it time.
~Jade
Trish stood there and watched, wondering Jasina had forgotten about her.
“You look sad.” She commented, reaching for the letter and skimmed it.
“Aww...poor thing.” She glanced at the return address, a PO box number. “These
kind of letters are just heartbreaking.” She sniffled, reaching up to pat her
eyes with a handkerchief.
“I know.” Jasina whispered, grabbing a tissue as well as she let a few
tears fall. “It just...it breaks my heart because how do you tell a little girl
how to make her father happy again?
That's the best I could come up with Trish, I'm sorry.” She lowered her
head, sniffling, and felt Trish pat her on the shoulder as Jasina let a few more
tears fall before quickly drying them up. “I'm alright, I'll have to get used
to this.”
Trish read the response quickly, smiling and patted Jasina's shoulder.
“That is the best answer you could have given her. Let's just hope she's old enough to understand
more then just the hugs and kisses, though the letter was rather mature. Hmmm...”
“Well, there was a PS part in there regarding her teacher helping her
write it.” Jasina pointed out, causing Trish's eyebrow to raise slightly. “I
really don't know what else to say though, you know? She's a little girl and you can't really
explain it from an adult's point of view.” This was both confusing and
frustrating, though Jasina didn't show either.
She was simply pointing out the obvious and knew Trish agreed with her.
“Hopefully, she'll understand where I'm coming from.”
“Well if she doesn't, I'm sure she'll ask her teacher to explain,
especially since she asked her teacher for help in the first place with the
letter.” Trish said reasonably, glancing at her watch. “I've got to run,
Jas. I have to go meet with the layout
crew and make sure next weeks ads aren’t jumbled like this weeks were. You're going to be at the barbecue tomorrow,
right?”
“Of course. I'm bringing potato
salad, homemade.” She smiled and waved to Trish before going back to reading
the letters, typing what she thought the best answer would be.
Some were easy; others were heartbreaking, like Little Mermaid's had
been. For some reason, that letter hit Jasina
the hardest and she didn't understand why.
Pushing it out of her mind, Jasina focused on the rest of her work,
getting through half the stack by the time she left. She bid Trish good night, wondering if the
woman ever went home, and headed out to the parking garage toward her car. This week had probably been the busiest, yet
greatest time in her life, not to mention she was a success.
~!~
“What the hell are you so damn happy about?”
“Uh Mark, I need a favor.”
“Steve...this had better be good, you still owe me for parts.”
“I need tomorrow off, I DID cover for you that one time.” Steve pointed
out.
Mark sighed, knowing he was right, and asked, “Okay, what for?”
“A blonde with a beautiful smile and the firmest ass...”
Chapter 7
The following day, Jasina stepped out of her car, wearing a denim blue
jean skirt that went two inches above the knee along with a plain dark blue
tank top, white Skechers on her feet, and blue sunglasses over her eyes. Trish had stated, emphatically, that she was
not allowed to wear black to the barbeque so Jasina decided all blue would
suffice. She reached in the backseat and
grabbed her bowl of potato salad that was homemade, her late mother's recipe. Locking her car, Jasina headed inside, hoping
she would survive this.
Lisa was walking down the hallway, carrying what looked like a pie in her
hands. “Everyone is outback in the patch.” The patch was a decent sized space
of grass that the employees usually took their smoke breaks on, lunches, things
like that. A grill was already going, a
few picnic tables scattered about.
Trish was there in a summer tank dress, laughing and flirting with her
date.
Steve was just happy to be there, in the presence of his new golden
goddess.
“Thanks.” Jasina walked out as the sunlight beamed down on her, glad she
had remembered to bring her sunscreen.
Jasina looked around, seeing all of her employees, and walked over to set
the potato salad down with the rest of the food. Everyone was talking and reminiscencing,
having a great time, and Jasina was finding herself smiling for the most
part. She said hello when she was
greeted and turned around when Trish called her name, walking in her direction
since she was being summoned.
“Jas, I'm so thrilled you made it!” Trish hugged her when she was close
enough, grinning from ear to ear and gestured to the man at her side. “This
sexy cue ball is Steve. Steve, this is
my newest writer, Jas. She does the Ask
Jade column I was telling you about.”
“Pleasure to meet ya honey.” Steve extended his hand to her, smiling. She looked a little familiar, but he shrugged
it off. He'd probably just seen her
before in the store or something.
Jasina slid her hand into his and shook it gently before releasing it,
wondering if he recognized her.
Apparently not, which was a good thing. “Nice to meet you as well.” She
replied softly, smiling at Trish, who was the light of the party. Jasina suddenly wondered if Mark was here and
had to take a deep breath to calm down, looking around casually, sighing with
relief when he wasn't. It was a Friday
so he was probably covering the shop.
Another good thing. “I'm going to go sit down.” She smiled before
walking off.
“She's an odd one.”
“She's had a rough time lately, be nice.” Trish swatted his chest
playfully, trying not to giggle when he smacked her ass. “Behave yourself, I'm
the boss here, I've got to look at least halfway professional.”
Steve winked down at her, a smirk on his face. “Honey, you can be my boss
any day of the week.”
The rest of the barbeque went well.
Jasina didn't really talk to anyone much, except Lisa, who was telling
her about her pending divorce. She felt
sorry for the woman and told her everything would be fine, that she understood
what she was going through. Lisa was in
higher spirits after talking to her as Jasina picked at her food, running a
hand through her hair, keeping a smile on her face though for Trish's sake. She owed the woman a lot and this was the
least she could do.
“Hey, we're going out for a few drinks, you are so coming with.” Trish
said as the festivities winded down, having given everyone the rest of the day
off just because she was in such a good mood.
Besides a few stray pieces, everything was done and ready for printing
anyway. “So keep that smile in place for a little while longer, okay?”
“Trish, I'm not sure-” Jasina sighed when she was pulled up by the hand by
the blonde bombshell who had managed to become her only friend, besides Lisa,
and knew she had no choice.
Trish was very pushy when she wanted to be, but Jasina knew she was doing
this because she wanted to help. Andy
had even said she couldn't stay cooped up in her apartment, it wasn't healthy. Besides, a few drinks sounded nice, even
though she wasn't the social type.
“You can ride with us.” Steve offered, being nice and helpful because
Trish had already warned him she'd plant her tiny foot right up his ass if he
even so much as made Jas frown. “This way nobody is driving drunk.” He had also
been told he was the designated driver, which he had agreed on the stipulation
that he got to take advantage if Trish got toasted. Trish had informed him he wouldn't be the one
taking advantage.
“Oh. Um...” When Trish gave her
those pleading brown eyes, Jasina sighed resignedly and nodded, shaking her
head as she followed by Steve and Trish to his truck. ‘God please don't
remember me.’ She silently prayed as she slid in after Trish, buckling up, and
stared out the window. She sighed when
Trish shoved her glasses up on top of her head and playfully glared, causing
her friend to giggle before leaning against Steve. They made an adorable couple. Taking a deep breath, Jasina felt the truck
started and pull away. ‘Just a few drinks.
Then I can go home.’ She thought.
“So...any bar of my choosing?”
“Nothing too...redneck. It IS in
public and I AM a well known editor.” Trish joked, nudging Jasina lightly in
the ribs. “Lighten up honey, it'll be fun.
Maybe we can find you a date!”
“In a redneck bar huh?”
“I DID find you and you’re a redneck, maybe the same thing will happen
again for Jas.”
“I don't date.” Jasina stated, her voice a little stronger than before,
though that smile never left her face. “Sorry hon. That's just who I am.”
She stared out the window again and closed her eyes. She didn't want to screw someone else's life
up, which was one of the reasons why Jasina preferred being alone. They arrived at a bar that was ten minutes
away from the Houston Journal and Jasina stepped out, seeing Steve was helping
Trish, and smiled before shutting the door.
Emerald City. Jasina seen Trish
was waving her inside and sighed before following. Honestly, why didn't she just respectfully
decline? Oh that's right, she didn't
have a choice in coming.
“Hold on, Steve. Go find us a
seat. Girl chat.” Trish kissed him on
the cheek, patting his ass as she shooed him away before linking her arm
through Jasina's. “It's all about the training.” She joked, grinning when he
shot her a lust ridden look. “Oh man...” She shook her head, snapping herself
out of it. “Just...try to have fun, alright?
I know you're not sociable and I know you're having a bad time,
but...life can be fun, you just have to give it a chance.”
“I'm trying, really I am.” Jasina smiled at her sadly, patting her hand in
reassurance. “I'm okay, Trish. Thank you
for inviting me out. Maybe this is what
I need.”
Smiling was contagious when it came to Trish and Jasina found herself not
able to stop as she was lead to the table.
She was right, again. Jasina had
to stop hiding from the world. Granted,
she made a huge mistake, quite a few, but that was her past and if there was
one thing Andy had drilled into Jasina throughout the past two years, it was
the past cannot be changed. No matter
what, Jasina knew she had to get back on the horse and ride. She had a feeling Trish was going to help her
do that.
Steve was polite enough to let Trish sit in the middle at the square
table, just so she could be by Jas, having a feeling Jas wouldn't be here if
not for her bubbly friend. “I don't know what you gals drink so...”
“Beer.” Trish said promptly.
He arched an eyebrow.
“Light, of course.”
She nodded at Steve, silently telling him beer was fine, and while he went
to go get drinks, Jasina talked with Trish about whatever came to mind. She thanked her once again for the
opportunity and smiled when Trish said don't mention it again. Steve brought the beers back and Jasina sipped
hers, not really much of a drinker.
She'd been heavily into drinking during her addiction stage, but Trish
didn't need to know that. Jasina let
them talk while her mind wandered, wondering how Arielle was doing and quickly
pushed that thought away. Arielle wasn't
apart of her life anymore and she had no right thinking about her.
“Well... who is this?” Trish asked, smiling as Steve got to his feet,
watching him embrace a man with auburn hair, long auburn hair.
“Mark, meet Trish.”
Mark grinned, reaching down to pull her to her feet, shaking her hand.
“I've heard a lot about you.” His grin broadened when Steve coughed. “Something
about a brilliant smile.”
Jasina's eyes widened when she heard Mark's voice, swallowing hard, and
couldn't believe this! Trish knew all about
her past experience with Mark and she STILL invited him? This was too much. Jasina did NOT want to see Mark and he damn
sure didn't want to see her. She quickly
slid out of the booth while Trish had the men distracted, sliding her
sunglasses over her eyes and ran out of the bar, not even caring how she
looked. Jasina pounded pavement as the
tears flowed, knowing she had to get back to the Houston Journal building to
get her car so she could go home. She
was so angry with Trish right now and thought about quitting just to spite her.
Trish knew damn well who Mark was, though she hadn't been aware Steve knew
him and she was also quite aware when Jasina had taken off. “Excuse us for a
moment, Mark...” She tugged Steve out of earshot. “Why didn't you tell me your
friend was meeting us here?” Her voice was deceptively sweet.
“I didn't think you'd mind?”
“You two have fun.” Rolling her eyes, Trish hurried out, hoping she could
catch Jasina.
Jasina was an accomplished runner, though she hadn't done it in awhile,
and arrived at her car in record time.
She slid inside the turned the ignition on, peeling out of there, and
headed straight home. The tears poured
down her face, causing her vision to blur, and finally pulled over as she let
the sobs tear through her body. Having a
life in Houston was going to be hard and Jasina knew Trish was going to be mad
at her for running out...fuck that! She
was PISSED at Trish and wiped her tears away angrily before driving the rest of
the way home. Once she arrived, Jasina
locked herself in her room and cried herself to sleep, clutching her chest
painfully.
Trish was ignoring Steve's call and Jasina was ignoring hers. Sighing, Trish tried calling again, this time
leaving a message. “Jasina, it's Trish...AGAIN.
Look, I didn't know Mark was going to be there, okay? I never would have insisted you go if I'd of
known, please call me. Bye.” She hung
up, dropping down onto her couch. “Damn it.”
~!~
The following day, Jasina walked into work, deciding she needed the job
and she listened to the messages earlier that morning when she got up. “I know
you didn't know.” She quietly said, holding her hand up when Trish stood up
from sitting in her chair in her office, sighing heavily. Her hair was down, as always, and she was
wearing black dress pants with a black cardigan, white silk shirt underneath
with black dress boots. She was wearing
black eyeliner and looked like she hadn't cried herself to sleep the previous
night. “It's alright. Let's just get
back to work okay?”
“Lets.” Trish replied, not knowing whether to be relieved that Jasina
hadn't quit or just as cool as Jasina was apparently being, finally just
deciding to be the boss. “You have mail waiting in your cubical in the front
office.” She said, sitting back down and shifting through some paperwork, a red
pen beside an article she was editing. “And deadline is at four so...You know
the drill, Jas.”
Without a word, Jasina walked out and went to her office, after picking
her mail up, and sat down in her chair after closing the door. She finished her article first before sending
it to the outbox, knowing the mail girl came by every hour to pick up, and took
a deep breath before opening the first envelope.
Jade
Recently, my little girl
just found out I'm her mother. She's
eight years old. I don't know what to
do. I sent her to an adoption agency
when I was sixteen, knowing I wasn't ready for motherhood. Now she won't even look at me because I'm
trying to get in her life. How do I fix
this and make it right?
Closing her eyes, Jasina took a moment before opening her laptop and typed
her response to it.
Under these
circumstances, the child is confused and doesn't understand what is going on
around them. Especially at the tender
age of eight. I understand why you did
what you had to do, you were trying to do what was best for her and that's what
matters. Don't beat yourself up over
that decision. You were young and
scared, you made a mistake. We all make
them, but we also have to suffer the consequences. The best advice I can give you is to sit your
little girl down and explain to her why you gave her up. Explain to her the benefits and tell her you
love her with all of your heart, which I know you do.
~Jade~
~!~
Mark snorted as he read the new Ask Jade column, folding the paper in
half. He knew damn well who Jade was and
thought it was awfully damn wrong of her to even be printing that question let
alone answering it. What the hell gave
someone the right to walk back into a child's life after abandoning them? The woman in question should keep her ass
away until her kid was eighteen and if the kid wanted to know her mother, then
SHE'D look the mom up.
Chapter 8
A few months passed and Jasina kept getting questions left and right from
different people, asking her advice. She
did the best she could and Trish was pleased with her. Jasina felt empty though, alone and knew this
was what her life would be like. Never
again would she feel love, never again would she have someone there for her and
Jasina deserved every bit of it.
Sighing, she shut down her laptop for the night and walked out of her
office, sending Trish a goodbye before heading out. She just wanted to go home and soak in a hot
bath. Jasina was tired, simple as that,
she was tired of fighting.
~!~
“Dad, DAD! Wake up!” Arielle
laughed, bouncing on his bed. She smiled
as he groaned, lightly kicking his back. “UP!
I'm eleven today!”
“No...yer just two, lemme sleep.”
“Uh-uh, we got a BUSY DAY ahead of us!
Get UP!”
Groaning, Mark sat up. The next
second he had pulled her down and was tickling her.
~!~
Jasina had asked for the day off, already knowing what it signified. She told Trish it was Arielle's birthday and
just wanted to be alone, to which the woman reluctantly agreed. Jasina locked herself inside and watched
movies, letting the tears flow, and eventually called Andy. Andy calmed her down and by the time Jasina
was done talking to her, she was mentally, physically and emotionally drained. Night came before she knew it, but Jasina
didn't even notice. She just wanted to
be alone and felt like dying, but she wouldn't end her own life. The thought had crossed her mind a few times
and she was close to doing it, but Jasina couldn't bring herself to do it. Sighing, Jasina turned the TV and lights off
before going to bed, glad this day of hell was finally over with.
~!~
Mark was glad it was over because Arielle, Toni and their new friend Gary
had driven him up a wall. If he thought
the girls were bad, throwing a boy into the mix made it even worse. Of course in a year’s time, he'd have to warn
Gary in a friendly way that if he even looked at his daughter with even just
the idea of just kissing her cheek, he'd wind up being shot. Eleven years old...where had the time gone?
~!~
“I'm leaving.” Jasina announced a week later, standing in Trish's office,
wearing all black with shades over her eyes. “Here's my resignation.” She'd made
the decision to leave Houston, knowing she should've never came here to begin
with. Jasina had tried and failed,
miserably. She just wanted to get as far
away from here as possible. “I'm sorry.” She slid the shades from her eyes and
showed Trish just the amount of physical and emotional pain she was in. “Thank
you for the opportunity.” She then walked out and ran to her car, getting in,
and driving away. Her apartment had
already been sold and she was leaving in the morning.
Trish stared down at the resignation, sighing and rubbed her temples. She had known this was coming. Groaning, she pulled out the new
advertisement she had had made for the two new openings on her staff. She had toyed with the idea of going after
Jasina, but...the woman wasn't willing to make a move towards living without
someone pushing her.
The following morning, Jasina sent a letter, one final letter, before
leaving Houston. She'd gotten an
apartment in Austin, Texas, where her mother had lived. She was going to start over there, fresh, no
strings attached to anyone. Mark would
never have to see her again and neither would Arielle. The entire way all Jasina could do was cry. She cried and cried, wishing the pain would
go away. She'd made so many mistakes in
her life, but did she honestly deserve how she was feeling? No, she didn't. Everyone made mistakes damn it! Everyone made stupid choices in life and
she'd done what she thought was best for her family at the time! If nobody could understand that then fuck
them! She was done, finished and blared
the music while putting the window down, letting the wind whip through her
hair.
Mark whistled as he walked the driveway to the mailbox, yawning and
tousled his hair. He arched an eyebrow
when he seen the self addressed envelope, wondering who the hell...must be for
Arielle, he didn't know anyone who couldn't pick up a phone or come over. Who the hell would be writing him? He flipped it over, looking a return address
and frowned. The writing was way too
familiar. He sighed, tempted to shred
it, but opened it, walking slowly back towards the house.
Mark,
You can destroy this
letter if you want too, but I felt I owed you an explanation on what happened
ten years ago. I know you hate me, and
you have every reason too, but you deserve to know the truth and I couldn't
leave again without telling you.
From the moment we met, I
was heavily into drugs. Cocaine and
crack. It was a horrible secret, I
know. I couldn't tell you though. I fell in love with you and I didn’t want to
lose you. I tried fighting it, I tried
to stop and ended up going right back to it.
It was a dangerous addiction and it was tearing my life apart.
So when I found out I was
pregnant, I quit cold turkey, but at a price.
Remember all those times I got sick?
I was going through withdrawal and it got to the point where I convulsed
that day in the kitchen, which sent me into premature labor with Arielle.
That night when we
brought her home, I knew what I had to do.
I couldn't put her or you through what was happening to me. I left because I felt it was the best thing I
could do for both of you. I can't begin
to tell you how hard it was for me to write that letter, Mark, or to leave
you.
I know I'm a coward. That's why I'm writing you again. I can't keep hoping that something will
happen down the road and I can finally have Arielle in my life again because I
don't deserve it. She is YOUR
daughter. She's beautiful, smart, and
she reminds me so much of you. I'm very
happy that I at least got to see her and seen how she's grown. That little piece I will carry with me
wherever I go.
So in closing, there are
no words to describe how deeply and truly sorry I am for hurting both you and
Arielle. If I could change the past, if
I could go back in time, I would change it.
I made a mistake by walking out on my family, but I don't regret
it. I did it for a reason and I don't
regret that decision. I do regret not
asking you for help, but at the time, I was terrified.
You will never see me
again, Mark. As you are reading this, or
destroying it, I'm on my way out of Houston.
I'm sorry for all the pain and misery I've caused you both with my
presence. I'm deeply sorry for
everything that's happened, you will never understand how much I wish things
could've been different.
There's one thing that
will never change though and that is I love you. I love you with all of my heart and
soul. You and Arielle will always be
apart of me, no matter what, and I will never forget you. Maybe one day down the road we could sit down
like adults and actually have a civil conversation. Right now though, that's not to be.
Goodbye Mark
Mark read and reread the letter, brushing away the tears that sprang to
his eyes. So that's why she had walked out
on him, on Arielle...She was right, he was going to shred this letter, not
today...maybe not tomorrow, but he was going to have to shred it. As he stepped into the house, he could hear
Arielle playing with her new puppy, a birthday present and sighed, going to put
the letter away. No...he'd save it and
when she was a little older, when she asked where her mother was, then he would
show it to her.
~!~
A year passed since Jasina left Houston and she was at peace...for the
most part. She went out in public and
decided she wasn't going to hide from the world anymore. She had no reason too and started
running. She was a little older, a
little wiser, and called Andy every once in awhile just to let her know she was
doing alright. Jasina wasn't going to
think about her past anymore. She was
three years sober of drugs and felt great, both physically and mentally. Emotionally, she was still a little rocky,
but for the most part, she was getting better.
She often wondered how things would've been had she not ran out on her
family, if she had told Mark the truth.
He would've divorced her in a heartbeat and taken Arielle, so at least
she did things on her own terms. She
missed her little girl, but came to terms with the harsh reality that she would
never be in her little girl's life.
Jasina pounded pavement as she ran through the park, wearing a pair of
dark cotton blue shorts with a matching tank top, a pair of headphones on her
head.
~!~
“Steve...I'm really not in the mood.” Mark sighed, pinching the bridge of
his nose as he went over the bills.
“I was just talking is all.”
“Not about Jasina.”
“Trish wants to see her, I've been hunting for her all over the place,
but...”
“Trish is pregnant and doesn't know any better.”
Arielle's eyes narrowed as she stood outside her father's office, hearing
the name Jasina, and wondered who that was.
As far as she knew, her daddy hadn't been dating anyone. Arielle was twelve years old, blossoming into
a beautiful girl with her honey chestnut locks and emerald green eyes. Deciding to listen in instead of interrupting
her father and Steve, Arielle paid attention to what they were saying.
“You know, smartass,” Steve growled. “One day Arie is going to wonder just
who the hell her mother is and where she's at.”
That was the day Mark was fearing. “Yeah and how do I tell her that Jade
is her mom, who used a false name and, oh by the way Arielle, she left us when
you were a baby because she was busy snorting coke?”
“A Hallmark card?”
A small gasp came from Arielle, her eyes widening to the size of
saucers. Jade was her mother? Jade was really Jasina? She was highly intelligent for her age and
Arielle felt the tears slide down her cheeks.
Her daddy knew about Jade being her mother and didn't tell her? Sniffling, Arielle ran out of the shop, not
wanting to see her father right now.
Mark glanced at the clock, frowning. “Arie should have been here by
now...”
Steve got up and went outside, looking around and came back in, shaking
his head.
“I'm callin' the school and Lashonna.”
“I'll get the gun.”
Chapter 9
It was a Friday night and Jasina was getting ready to head to bed,
exhausted from her job with the newspaper.
She was writing her columns somewhere nobody knew her, refusing to give
that part of her life up, even if she wasn't working for Trish anymore. She'd just finished doing the dishes when a
knock sounded at her door, causing her eyebrow to raise. Probably her landlord to get the rent from
her. Sighing, Jasina got the check out
and walked over, unlocking her door and opened it, her jaw dropping at who was
in front of her.
Arielle was standing there looking tired and in need of a bath, having
rode a bus all the way here, with a few stops. “Why didn't you tell me you were
my mom?” She demanded, tears streaking her face before tossing herself at
Jasina.
Jasina blinked as Arielle launched herself in her arms, immediately
enveloping her as the tears stung her eyes.
Had Mark told her? Jasina didn't
care at the moment and dropped to her knees, holding her little girl to her
while she cried her heart out, whispering soothing words in her ear as she
finally broke away long enough to close the door. She sighed when Arielle immediately hugged
her again and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to calm her down.
“God I'm sorry Arielle...” She whispered, pulling back to stare back in
those emerald green eyes.
Arielle used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe at her eyes and nose,
sniffling. “Why didn't you tell me?” She asked in a hushed whisper, impatiently
wiping away the next batch of tears that gathered in her eyes. “You knew who I
was, didn't you?” She had rehearsed a speech the entire way here, questions she
was going to ask, but the moment Jade, no Jasina, had opened the door, that all
flew out the window.
“Sweetheart, you don't belong to me...” How the hell was she supposed to
explain this to a twelve year old girl?
Jasina was trying to get over the initial shock that Arielle was in
front of her and stood up, guiding her over to sit on the couch. “Your father
doesn't know you're here does he?” She closed her eyes when Arielle shook her
head, biting her bottom lip and raked a hand through her hair. “I wanted to
tell you, Arielle, I really did. I was
scared.” She admitted and lowered her head, knowing Mark was probably going to
kill her for this. “How did you find out I was your mother?”
“Dad and Steve were talking about it.” Arielle admitted, plucking at the
couch nervously, unable to tear her eyes away from Jasina, studying her
intently. She had looked at her before,
but now she was seeing Jasina as her mother. “They didn't know I was listening. You're not going to call him are you? Not right away, I want to talk to you,
please?”
“Shhh relax sweetheart, he doesn't know where I am...” Jasina suddenly
raised an eyebrow at her daughter. “How did you find out where I was anyway?”
She asked, the curiosity getting the better of her as she stood up to walk into
the kitchen, getting Arielle a glass of water.
She wasn't going to call Mark until Arielle was asleep, knowing the
little girl had the right to know why she had left, no matter how hard the
conversation was going to be.
Arielle couldn't keep the smug grin off her face, green eyes lighting up
mischievously. “I went to the newspaper office where you worked and asked
around.” She said cheekily, sounding proud of how clever she had been, which
she was. “Told them you ordered from me before and I wanted to send you a new
catalog. Worked like a charm.”
“God you look like your father with that expression on your face.” She
said, causing Arielle to smile widely and handed her the glass of water before
sitting down beside her, giving them a little space. Jasina still couldn't believe she was here and
had actually tracked her down after finding out she was her mother. “Your
father is going to be VERY angry, you know that right?” Jasina didn't even want
to THINK about the temper Mark had and closed her eyes momentarily, deciding to
pick her burial plot out right now and save the trouble of doing it later.
“Yeah...but it's not me I'm worried about, he's gonna blame you.” Arielle
said seriously, her eyebrows drawing together in concern. “I'll sweet talk him
out of it.” She was twelve and confident in her abilities to wrap her dad
around her little finger. “Don't worry about it. Jasina,” She wasn't quite
comfortable calling her mom. Not yet,
that depended on how this conversation went. “Why did you leave us?”
Jasina had to stand up and began walking around the living room, chewing
on her thumbnail, not quite sure how to say this to her daughter. “Do you know
what drugs are, Arielle?” She finally asked, deciding to take it to a teaching
approach. She already knew Mark was
going to blame her, which was why Jasina was prepared for virtually
anything. When Arielle nodded, Jasina
continued, “Before you were born, I did them.
I did crack and cocaine. Do you
know what that is?” When she nodded again, Jasina took a deep breath. “I left
you and your father because of them.” It was the god honest truth. “I didn't do
them while I was pregnant with you, just so you know. I would never put you in harm's way. But I couldn't stop doing them and they were
controlling my life. I had to get away
in order to get better...”
Arielle considered that for a few minutes, frowning again. “Did dad know
about the drugs?” She finally asked, well aware of addiction and drugs because
she had just gone through the D.A.R.E. program at school. “Why couldn't you get
better with us?” She fired off before Jasina could answer the first question.
“Why did it take you so long to get better?
Were you never coming back?
Didn't you want me after you got better?”
Tears fell down her cheeks as Jasina turned away from her daughter,
sniffling and wrapped her arms around herself. “Arielle, when I left, I didn't
stop the drugs right away, sweetheart.
It took me a LONG time to get off of them...” This was hard as Jasina
took a deep, shaky breath before walking over and sat down on the couch, facing
her daughter. “It took me seven years to finally seek help after I left you and
your father. Something...happened and it
changed my whole outlook on life and I finally went to someone for help. I went to a rehabilitation center and I've
been clean for over three years now.” She sniffled a little, closing her eyes.
“I wanted you so much, not a day went by I didn't think about you or your
father. I love you both with all of my
heart.” She opened her eyes and locked with emerald green. “I love you and your
father, Arielle. I never stopped. That's why I came back after all this time,
but I...I panicked, and I seen how happy you are with your father. I didn't want to...ruin your life.” She
whispered that last part, more tears falling. “I'm so sorry Arielle...”
A big part of Arielle wanted to scream and rage at this woman, her mother,
for being so weak, especially right now and when she needed answers, love and
reassurance the most, but a little piece of her felt bad and that piece won
out. “Don't cry, please.” She whispered, scooting on the couch to wrap her arms
around Jasina. “Don’t cry, it's okay...” She awkwardly patted Jasina's back.
“It's gonna be okay.”
“I don't have the right to cry, Arielle.
I don't have the right to sit here with you and tell you what
happened. I don't have any rights to
you.” Jasina sucked it up, drying her tears and stared down into her daughter's
emerald green eyes. “I love you. I love
you so much and I promise, if I do get a second chance, I won't run again. I just want what's best for you Arielle, and
I know your father feels the same way. I
made a lot of mistakes in my life and I'm going to own up to them.” She tucked
a strand of hair behind her ear, being strong for her daughter's sake. She could break down later on, her little
girl needed her right now. “I'm so sorry for what I did, for walking out on you
and your father, Arielle. You will never
know how truly sorry I am, sweetheart.”
Arielle nodded, relief filling her now that Jasina had stopped
crying. Adults crying bothered her a
little bit. “Okay, so you can tell daddy that and everything will be fine
again, right?” She knew her dad would be angry at first, just like she had been,
but when Jasina explained everything, it all would be okay. It had to be.
“Unfortunately sweetheart, I don't think it's going to be that easy.”
Jasina replied softly, not wanting her daughter to get her hopes up. “You're
father has a temper...” Arielle didn't need to hear her talking bad about her
father and flashed a smile. “Everything is going to work out for the best, I
promise.” She tapped her nose and kissed her forehead. “Now come on, you must
be starving and you need a bath or a shower.
I will cook you something while you clean up, alright?”
“Alright.” Arielle agreed amicably, standing up and stretching, hiding a
yawn behind her mouth. She looked around
the apartment, studying it intently before glancing back at Jasina. “Can you
cook?” She asked suspiciously, arching an eyebrow when Jasina just looked at
her. “It's just a thing I ask everyone.” She was interested in cooking.
“I'll warm you up some spaghetti I made earlier and you can be the judge.”
Jasina winked and smiled as she guided Arielle to the bathroom.
She got her a towel, telling her to use whatever she needed, and shut the
door to give her some privacy. She was
twelve after all, a pre-teen. Jasina
blinked tears away as she went to the kitchen to warm up some spaghetti for her
daughter. Mark was going to be so angry,
Jasina could only hope he didn't send her to jail. He would have no reason too considering
Arielle showed up on her front door step and managed to find out where she
lived from the Houston Journal. Sighing
worriedly, Jasina slid some garlic bread in her toaster oven, not believing the
night she had.
Arielle took longer in the shower then she normally would have, longer
because she was examining everything.
She knew exactly what her dad's favorite shampoo was, Herbal
Essence. Though he told her if she ever
told anyone he'd string her up by her ankles.
She must have been weird because she liked knowing things about her dad,
but then again, he had been the constant factor in her life. Until now.
She didn't even know what kind of soap Jasina used. Well...now she did. Scented.
“Wow... that is a big bottle of shampoo...”
When Arielle walked out an hour later, her food was just finishing. Jasina smiled, seeing her pale blue
nightgown, and walked over when she was having trouble with her hair. “Come here.”
She quietly said, taking her hand and sat on the couch, putting her between her
legs. Slowly and gently, Jasina began
brushing her daughter's hair, not believing she was actually getting to
experience a slice of what motherhood had to offer. It was her hair, the same feel and
everything, completely mind boggling. “Do you have any questions for me,
Arielle?” She asked softly while she did this. “I'll answer anything you want
to know sweetheart.”
Arie started shaking her head no then hesitated. “Yes.” She whispered, one
question that she wanted an answer to now.
All the rest could wait. They had
time. “You said you left because of your addiction...Since daddy and I weren't
enough for you to get past it, what happened that made you realize you needed
help?” She asked, remembering Jasina telling her something had happened though
she hadn't said what.
Jasina took a deep breath, biting her bottom lip, wondering if she should
tell a twelve year old this. She had to
and closed her eyes, getting her emotions under control. “Do you know what an
overdose is?” She asked quietly, continuing to brush her hair out, and felt her
nod, the memory overtaking her. “I overdosed on cocaine and...” Jasina had to
take in a shaky breath, closing her eyes. “I was pronounced dead for ten
minutes, Arielle.” She felt her daughter tense and lifted her chin, turning her
face around until their eyes met. “I survived though and that's what opened my
eyes and made me realize that I didn't want to die. That's what it took to get me to seek
help. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” Arielle murmured, frowning and tilted her head back to look up
Jasina's nose. “You didn't put a hole in your nose from snorting cocaine?” She
asked curiously, then frowned again. “Don't people get brain damage when they
die and are gone that long?” At the look she got, she shrugged. “I watch
House.” Arielle tossed her arms around Jasina's neck. “I'm glad you didn't die,
God musta known I wanted to meet you.”
“I'm glad I didn't either, sweetheart.” She whispered, holding Arielle
tightly against her, and kissed her forehead.
She pulled back and stared into those tear filled emerald green eyes.
“Don't cry honey, everything is going to be fine. You have to trust me on this, alright? Now come on, you need to eat.” Jasina wiped
her tears away and kissed her forehead and nose before leading her over to the
kitchen table, sitting down right next to her and ran her fingers through her
hair. Jasina was truly a lucky and
blessed woman.
“So...” Arielle stopped after that, beginning to inhale the
spaghetti. It was good and she just now
realized how hungry she was, easily packing away two plates and a few pieces of
the garlic bread. “That was good.” She said afterwards, licking her fingers
clean. “You can cook, awesome.” She leaned back, stretching contentedly. She had a shower and food in her, she was a
happy kid.
“I'm glad you enjoyed and approved it.” Jasina laughed softly as she stood
up, clearing the table, and rinsed the dishes in the sink before walking over
and extending her hand to Arielle. “You look tired, we'll talk more tomorrow.”
She promised, leading her daughter her bedroom.
That and she wanted to wait until Arielle was asleep before calling
Mark, knowing he was probably worried out of his mind. “Good night
sweetheart. I love you.” She whispered,
kissing her forehead, and tucked her in before turning the lamp off. Feeling Arielle pull her down for a hug,
Jasina felt the tears sting her eyes as she hugged her daughter back tightly,
not believing how understanding she was. “Get some sleep sweetheart.” She
whispered and kissed her cheek before walking out, leaving the door cracked.
More tired than she would admit, Arielle snuggled under the blanket,
burying her head in the pillow and inhaled, smiling. Tonight she had finally met the mother she
had wondered about for so long. It
didn’t take more then two winks before she was sound asleep, completely
tuckered out from her long bus ride and emotionally exhausting night.
Chapter 10
Once Jasina knew Arielle was asleep, she closed the door fully and took a
deep breath, closing her eyes as she held her cell phone in her hand. It was non-traceable so Mark wouldn't be able
to find her and kill her. Damn it, this
wasn't her fault! Taking another deep
breath, Jasina flipped her cell open and dialed the number she got from
Arielle, closing her eyes as it rang. He
answered on the second ring, sounding frantic.
“Mark,” She began quietly. “It's Jasina.” She held the phone away from her
ear as he began to scream bloody murder at her, waiting until he was calmed
down. “Listen to me, Arielle overheard you and Steve talking about me being her
mother.” She had to hold the phone away again, feeling tears stream down her cheeks,
finally hanging up.
“Mark, you just yelled at her!” Lashonna scolded. “I thought you were past
all that?”
“I fucking lied!”
“Mark-”
“Uh Trish, darlin', I wouldn't...”
“Arielle went to see Jasina.”
“Oh, well, that's good right?”
The phone rang again in his hand and when he answered, it was Jasina's
turn to talk. “Shut up. Shut up right
now Calaway.” She ordered in a deadly voice, the anger flowing through her
body. “Now you're going to keep your mouth shut and LISTEN to me for ONCE. Arielle overheard you and Steve talking and
found out I'm her mother. She found out
where I am through Trish's Houston Journal, somebody gave her the information.”
She had to take a breath, knowing she had to be strong. “She arrived earlier
tonight. I don't know how she managed to
get here, but I want to make it CLEAR that I had nothing to do with this. She shocked me when she arrived at my
doorstep, Mark. Now you can either yell
at me like a banshee and throw a fit, or you can talk to me like a civil
adult. Though if you start screaming at
me again, I'm hanging up.”
“Deep breaths.” Steve coaxed, watching as Mark gripped the phone so hard
he was likely to shatter it. “Inhale, exhale.”
“Do NOT pull that pregnancy shit on me, Steve!” Mark snapped, slapping his
hand over the receiver, taking a deep breath before narrowing his eyes. “Where
are you so I can come get her?”
Steve flashed a thumbs up at the civil tone, groaning when Mark tossed a
nearby pad of paper at his head.
“I will bring her back myself.” Jasina stated, not wanting Mark to know
where she lived. She liked living after
all. “I'll leave tomorrow and be there hopefully by five o'clock.” It was a
long drive, but this would give her more time with Arielle. “I'll bring her to
the shop.” Jasina didn't want to let her little girl go, not when she just got
her back, but knew she didn't have a choice as she take another deep breath.
“Is that alright with you?”
“Yes, that's fine.” Mark said softly, suddenly feeling drained. “Thank
you, Jasina, for calling.”
“Tell her I'm pregnant!” Trish squealed.
“Please tell me you heard that.”
“Now tell her far along and how fat I've gotten!”
“Here, talk to Trish.”
“Did you think I wouldn't call Mark?” She softly replied, making him hold
the phone, knowing he was relieved. “I would never keep her away from her
father.” She heard Trish was pregnant and smiled, knowing Steve was the father.
“Now you can give the phone to Trish.” She closed her eyes when her friend got
on the phone, hearing Trish's bubbly voice that she missed over the past year.
“Hey girl! Congrats on the baby. I know you'll make an excellent mother.”
“Yeah, I know, I've had a nursery made adjacent to my office so I can
still work AND take care of the baby myself.” Trish gushed.
“What the hell am I?”
“Male, not a babysitter, hush, the grown-ups are talking.” Trish said
sweetly, giggling when he growled. “So you'll be in town tomorrow? You HAVE to stay the night with me, at least
one night, we've got a year worth of catching up to do!”
“I think I can do that. I'll leave
Sunday morning and come back home.” Jasina softly replied, wondering if Trish
could be any happier, then decided not to question that. “Listen sweetie, it's
been a very emotional night and I'm exhausted.
I'll be leaving early in the morning, please tell Mark that.” When she
agreed to do so, Jasina smiled. “I can't wait to see you, Trish. Bye honey.” She closed the lid to her cell
phone and sunk down on the couch, proceeding to cry her heart out. She was getting it all out before having to
say goodbye to Arielle the following day.
Mark waited until everyone was gone before sitting down at his kitchen
table with an old photo album in front of him and a case of beer beside him on
the floor, cracking one open and draining it in one swallow. He had to go to the basement to find this,
but...Cracking open a second beer, this time sipping, he flipped through it,
pictures of him and Jasina when they had first met, their wedding, her pregnancy...Had
he really been so blind not to realize she had a problem? Why couldn't she have come to him with it in
the first place?
~!~
Around five thirty the next evening, Jasina pulled up in front of Mark's
shop and put the car in park, taking a deep breath. She was wearing blue jeans with a black tank
top, black sunglasses over her eyes. She
hadn't cried, not once, around Arielle, knowing the little girl was probably
very emotional right now.
“Your father is waiting sweetheart.” When Arielle asked her to walk her
in, Jasina nodded and stepped out, taking her hand and guided her inside the
shop, the bell dinging above them.
Jasina slid her black sunglasses up on top of her head, brushing the
hair from her face just as Mark walked out from the back.
“Uh hi daddy.” Arielle flashed him the most sweetest, charming smile she
had, knowing it usually caused him to melt.
“You are in trouble.” He announced softly, staring at her, his eyes making
sure she was alright. “We'll discuss it later, Arie. Come here.” He dropped to a knee to hug her
tightly, just glad she had come home safely.
Lord only knew how many things could have gone wrong with her hopping a
bus and taking off like that. He looked
past her to Jasina. “Thank you.”
“You're welcome.” She softly replied, keeping her emotions in the best she
could and looked down when Arielle pulled away from Mark to stare up at
her. Jasina dropped down in front of
her, smiling tearfully. “I told you everything was going to be fine. Just remember no matter what you do, your
father loves you regardless, and so do I.
Now come here.” Tears slid down her cheeks as Arielle threw her arms
around her neck, causing Jasina to hug her close, knowing this was goodbye. “I
love you Arielle Marie Calaway.” She whispered, pulling back and tapped her
nose with a smile. “Be good for your father, alright?”
“Wait, you're leaving already? You
can't! Not that I finally just got to
meet you.” Arielle glanced back at her dad. “Tell her she can't go!”
“Arie, lil darlin'-”
“DAD!”
“Jasina…” Mark swallowed down his pride. “Would you like stay and have
supper with us? Here.”
“I'll order pizza!”
Those green eyes penetrated her soul as she stared back at him, swallowing
hard, and nodded gently. “Sure, I'd like that.”
She smiled when Arielle began jumping up and down before zooming into the
office to grab the number for the pizza place in town. Jasina wiped her tears away that had fallen
while she was saying goodbye to Arielle, clearing her throat, wanting to say so
many things. No...she said it all in
that letter she wrote Mark. If he had
more questions for her, she would answer them, but other than that Jasina was
leaving the past behind her and moving on.
Mark dropped down behind the desk, watching as Arielle began writing down
what she wanted on her pizza. “You best be asking Jasina what she wants, maybe
she don't like pineapple and ham.” He teased, knowing they were going to be
having a long night when they got home.
“Oh...Jasina, what do you want on your pie?” Arielle asked, glancing at
her mother.
“I'll eat whatever you want, sweetheart.” Jasina replied softly, sitting
down in a chair in Mark's office, and smiled when Arielle sat on her lap,
wrapping her arms around her waist. She
knew Mark would be punishing her and, honestly, Jasina didn't blame the
man. She'd been scared when she opened
her door to find Arielle on her front doorstep, one because she thought Mark
was there and two, she had no legal rights to this little girl. “After the
pizza I have to get going okay?” She told her softly, seeing her nod, and ran
her fingers through her chestnut hair that matched Jasina's perfectly.
Mark placed an order for three pizzas, all of them larges, each one
separate toppings, remembering what Jasina used to like on her pizzas, and it
wasn't pineapple. “Be here in forty-five minutes.” He grunted when he hung up.
“See, we have plenty of time.” Arielle said with a grin, snuggling up to
Jasina. “Now...tell me...hmm...Do you have any brothers or sisters?” She asked,
deciding to start with the easy questions.
Mark hid a smile, knowing Arielle was going to use forty-five minutes to
drive Jasina crazy with her constantly running mouth. “Darlin', just remember
to let her answer before ya spring another.”
“No I do not.” Jasina answered with a smile, hearing Mark place an order
for a pepperoni pizza and couldn't believe he actually remembered. That made her heart swell as she got more
comfortable, refusing to let her daughter go.
The last time she had been with both Mark and Arielle was when they
dropped her stuff off. “By the way, did you get that playground?” She asked
suddenly and grinned when Arielle nodded enthusiastically, holding her hands up
when Arielle stated it was HER asking the questions. “Well yes ma'am, go right
on ahead then.”
“How bout a mom and dad, everyone has those. Well, almost everyone.” Arielle said,
sounding sad for a moment before grinning again.
Great, now his daughter was guilt tripping him out. “You girls want
something to drink?” He asked, standing up and clearing his throat.
“Sprite!”
He looked at Jasina.
“Sprite is fine, Mark.” She replied quietly, tightening her hold a little
on her daughter and cleared her throat. “My mother is dead, she died awhile
ago.” She didn't miss the shock in Mark's eyes, but chose not to acknowledge
it, focusing on answering her daughter's question. “I never met my father so I
don’t have one.” She smiled down at her daughter to keep her spirit up, rubbing
her back up and down. “And you do have a mother and father. As long as you want me in your life, Arielle,
I'm not going anywhere.” She promised, refusing to let her little girl go and
knew Mark wouldn't deny their daughter anything, especially that.
Mark quietly got them their Sprites, retrieving himself a water. “Here.”
“Thank you, dad.” Arielle said, taking them both and handing one to
Jasina. “So I can call ya mom now, right?
I like Jasina, but mom sounds better, don't you think dad?”
She was trying to mess him up, his beautiful angel had her horns on today.
“I think Jasina is a beautiful name, Arielle, you call her what ya like.”
“I don't want to pressure you into calling me that, Arielle. If you feel comfortable with it, then I'd love
it if you called me…mom.” She replied softly, smiling tearfully when her
daughter called her mom for the first time, and wrapped her arms around her
after turning her, burying her face in her hair. She was getting her second chance and Jasina
wasn't going to blow it for anything. “You know, you really stir up one's
emotions, Arielle.” She stated, pulling back and smiled when a tissue was
handed to her. “So what else do you want to know? I'm an open book.”
“First off, can you call me Arie?” She asked, scrunching her nose. “I like
my name, but...I like Arie better.”
Mark shrugged when Jasina arched an eyebrow his way. “Steve started
calling her that when she was two.”
“Yep. Steve's my uncle, well, he's
not really my uncle, he's like adopted.” Arielle explained. “I adopted him,
right dad?”
He began laughing, remembering how when she had been five she had given
him a handful of pennies in order to buy her Uncle Stevie. “You sure did,
princess.”
Chapter 11
“Alright, Arie.” Jasina smiled and proceeded to answer every one of her
daughter's questions. Such as, where had
she been all this time prior to coming back to Houston. That one had been hard to answer, but she did
it since she hadn't been in one place for too long. Then there were the questions of her favorite
music, movie, and little things like that.
“And yes, I did name you after my favorite Disney movie.” She stated with
a smirk, remembering when Arielle had told her that when they first saw each
other in the shop.
“Okay, so why is it spelled with two L’s and an extra E instead of
A-r-i-e-l?” She demanded after hearing that, mentally vowing to never let Toni
know this or she'd have to pay up five bucks, spelling out the original
spelling of the name.
“Because she thought that was too plain.” Mark spoke up, remembering the
name discussion quite well. He hadn't
been happy when she announced their baby was going to be named after a damn
fish, but...He'd lost that battle.
“I wanted it to be different.” Jasina replied, remembering that conversation
with Mark as well. He was so hell bent
on not naming their daughter that, but she won out with her hormones. Jasina couldn't stop smiling, remembering how
he'd rubbed her feet afterwards since she put the silent treatment on him. Mark hated that punishment, but it worked
effectively. “Arie is a pretty nickname though sweetie.” She assured her softly
and pressed her forehead against the side of her head, closing her eyes.
“Dad how much longer? I'm
starving.” Arie demanded, getting up to walk over and hug him, trying to butter
him up to avoid the spanking she figured she had coming later.
“You're always starving.” He growled, looking down at her. “You need new
jeans girl, I can see your ankles.”
“Mom can take me!”
“Um...Arie sweetheart, I don't live around here anymore.”
Jasina didn't want to hurt her daughter, but she also wanted to be honest
with her. She seen the sadness in
Arielle's eyes and sighed, raking a hand through her hair, going to say
something else when the pizza arrived.
It would have to wait until later as she watched her daughter grab her
own pizza and sat down in the chair beside her while Mark got them paper
plates. She took it from him and took
two slices, setting her Sprite down and began to eat slowly. Jasina wasn't much of an eater nowadays.
Arielle was wolfing down her pizza.
“Girl, slow your butt down, ain't nobody going to snatch that from you.”
Mark said, watching her. She had his
appetite that was for sure, but he couldn't see where it was going because she
was tall and skinny as a bean pole.
“I'm hungry!”
“I've noticed, try taking time to chew though.”
Jasina laughed softly and shook her head, remembering how Arielle had
eaten two plates of spaghetti and three pieces of garlic bread before she was
full the previous night. Jasina finished
one slice of pizza and was full. Not
only that, but she had a feeling she would be crying later on and didn't want her
stomach too full.
“Thank you for dinner, Mark.” She quietly said, placing the piece she
didn't touch back in the box and threw her plate away in the trash, smiling as
she watched her daughter inhale her large pizza.
Mark had watched Jasina like a hawk, noting she had only eaten one piece
of pizza. He knew she had stated she had
cleaned up her life, she had said so in her articles, but one slice of
pizza? She was a bit on the thin side
and he couldn't help, but wonder if she wasn't as clean as she said. Drugs made people thin right? So did depression another voice reminded him,
studying her again. That was more likely
the case.
“One slice?”
“Yes, I'm not very hungry.” Jasina replied quietly, knowing the pizza
wouldn't go to waste, and raked a hand through her hair after Arielle was done
eating. She had finished nearly half of
the pizza, which made Jasina shake her head.
Definitely her father's appetite. “Okay sweetie, I really have to go
now.” She said, knowing she had to get out of there so she could go to her
hotel room. Trish had called her, saying
Steve was staying the night with her, which she didn't mind. She sighed as Arielle took her hand, walking
out of Mark's office, and bent down to hug her tightly again. “Here's my
number.” She said, pulling back to hand her a card the newspaper in Austin had
given her, kissing her forehead. “You call me for anything, I don't care if
it's day or night, alright?”
“Oh, I will!” Arielle stared down at the card, committing the number to
memory and smiled brightly, slipping it into her back pocket, tossing her arms
around Jasina's neck. “Thanks, mom!”
If Arielle didn't call Jasina at least three times an hour, Mark would be
surprised. He had a feeling his
telephone bill was about to skyrocket.
“You're welcome, sweetheart.” She whispered, pulling back again and cleared
her throat as she stood up. “Be good for your father and no more running away.”
Her voice was stern for a second before kissing the top of her head. “I love
you Arielle, never forget that.” She looked up at Mark, not even needing to say
anything before walking out and slipped inside her car. Once inside, Jasina let the tears flow as she
started the ignition and pulled out of there, her hands trembling on the wheel
and tried to get her vision to clear.
Arielle felt her dad's hand on her shoulder, sighing and tilted her head
back to look at him, green eyes meeting green eyes. “I'm in trouble when we get
home, aren't I?”
“Loads.”
“Oh well, it was worth it. Did you
know by bus it takes a day and half the night to get to Austin?”
“Did you know that's about as long as it'll take until you're gonna be
able to sit on your ass again?”
“Aww hell.”
After arriving at the hotel, Jasina took a shower before slipping into a
pale blue nightgown, wiping her tears away.
She knew Mark was going to let her back in Arielle's life, but that
didn't make the hurt of being away from her any less painful. Or him.
She loved Mark, but knew they would never reconcile. At least she had her daughter. Jasina was going to be thankful and grateful
for what life had thrown at her as she sat on her bed. After crying for an hour straight, Jasina
finally laid down and stared up at the moon, silent tears falling, though she
had a smile on her face.
~!~
“I'm going to get her back in Houston.”
Steve watched his pregnant girlfriend pacing, trying to coax her back into
bed. He had thought he'd never be one to
find a full term pregnant woman sexy, but...Maybe he was hormonal too. “Honey,
come back to bed...”
“I'll offer her a job with a lot of money...No! I'll talk to her editor and-”
“Trish?”
“She belongs here, she has a little girl here, yeah, I'm doing it.”
~!~
The following day, Jasina was up at eight o'clock, wearing a blue jean
denim skirt with a lavender top. She walked
out of her hotel room and looked up, raising an eyebrow at the sight of a VERY
pregnant Trish Stratus coming toward her. “Oh my god, look at you!” She smiled
as the two embraced tightly before pulling back, her bag already in the car,
seeing the happiness radiating off of Trish.
Pregnancy definitely suited her. “What are you doing here?”
“I figured I'd have my baby in your lap.” Trish said seriously, watching
as Jasina's jaw dropped and giggled. “I'm just kidding, though that could very
well be the case if little Steven JR in there doesn't stop kicking mommy's
bladder!” She rubbed her stomach gingerly. “I want you to come back to work for
me, Jasina.” She then said, staring at her friend. “And I'm really not going to
take no for an answer.”
“Trish, I don't know-” Her eyes widened when another truck pulled up
behind her car, raising an eyebrow, and felt a bright smile cross her face when
Arielle jumped out and ran over to her. “What are you two doing here?” She
asked, bending down and hugged her daughter tightly, kissing her forehead. Arielle was the light in Jasina's life as she
slowly stood back up, facing Mark and Trish. “I have my job back in Austin to
think about not to mention my apartment and all of my things there. Not to mention I have nowhere to stay out
here, sweetie...”
“Trish said you might need some help making your decision about your new
job.”
“Old job, new salary.”
Mark leaned against Trish's car, arms folded over his chest.
“You can resign, you did it to me.
And we'll get you a new place.
I'll put you in a penthouse, you're COMING back to Houston!”
“Besides, I'm here in Houston, right dad?”
“Yep.”
“Well, now this really isn't fair.
You have the cutest green eyes ever pleading with me not to mention a
pregnant woman with hormones.” Jasina joked, tears in her eyes, and nodded with
a big smile. “I'll come back to Houston.
I can't stay away from my little girl.” She hugged her to her side,
running her fingers through her hair. “Besides, we have to go shopping for new
jeans. And I'm paying for them.” She
grinned when Arielle squealed, her eyes looking over at Mark, not believing how
delicious he looked. Age had been
wonderful to the man before she looked at Trish. “When do I start?”
“You have two days to get your ass back in Houston.” Trish said sweetly,
glancing back at Mark, arching an eyebrow at Jasina. “He does fill them jeans
out don't he?” She murmured, watching with a grin as Jasina's cheeks flushed.
“What's that mean? Hey dad, your
jeans are too tight!”
“As long as the vitals ain't losing circulation I'll be alright.”
“Trish!” Jasina groaned as she shook her head, rolling her eyes, though
her cheeks were tinged red. “Alright, but I'm going to need a U-Haul...” She
raised an eyebrow when Arielle cut her off, telling her she could use her
father's truck. “Ummmm Arie, you're going to have to ask your father. You can't just expect him to do something,
sweetheart.” She tapped her nose and watched as Arielle walked over to Mark,
crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“Daddy?”
Her sweet tone of voice didn't fool him for an instant. Mark arched an eyebrow behind his sunglasses,
dropping down to one knee when she tugged on his shirt. “What, lil darlin'?”
“Mom can't afford a U-Haul, we need to haul her stuff for her.” Arielle
said in a hushed whisper.
“Oh, really.”
“So we need to go help her move.”
“I am going to hire that little girl to help me sell ads for my paper.”
Jasina was trying so hard not to laugh as she watched her daughter play
her ex-husband like a fiddle. “I don't blame you, she's quite convincing.” She
whispered back in Trish's ear, shaking her head. She watched with adoration as Arielle's kept
whispering to her father, leaning against her car and watched as Trish got in
her car, telling her two days or her ass was grass. Jasina nodded, telling her to have her office
ready because she'd be back in action.
When Arielle was done talking to her father, she trotted over and
crooked her finger, causing Jasina to bend down. “What's the verdict?”
“He says he'll do it on the grounds I pay for the gas.” Arielle said
frowning, her dad had turned her game on her and that wasn't as funny as her
doing it had been. “I think he knows I was hustlin' him.”
Mark had his face buried in his arm, laughing his ass off.
Jasina couldn't stop herself from laughing and nodded, patting her head
gently. “I'll pay for the gas.” She assured her daughter, shaking her head and
walked over to him. “You are evil.” She stated, seeing Mark was laughing
harder, and felt Arielle grab her hand. “Okay so how are we doing this?”
Chapter 12
They arrived sometime later that night in Austin and Jasina showed Mark
the guest room, which was plain with just a bed while she went to go whip them
something up quick to eat. Arielle was
in the bathroom taking a shower as Jasina searched her fridge, tapping her chin
in thought, still not believing she had Mark and Arielle in her apartment.
If someone had told him ten days ago that he would be talking to his
ex-wife, much less staying at her place, he would have laughed their ass to
hell and back. As it was, Mark was
actually here. He sat down on the bed,
raking a hand through his hair, working out the braid he had bound it in that
morning. As tempted as he had been to
exercise his rights of denying Jasina access to Arielle, he couldn't do that to
his daughter, not when she was so damn happy.
That and it seemed like Jasina had gotten her life under control. Not that that excused her for walking out on
him and their infant, but...He sighed, hanging his head.
She decided to just make some hot dogs and hamburgers, something simple
and quick, knowing Arielle was starving and Mark had to be as well. Trish had taken her car to her place and
Jasina had driven with Mark and Arielle in his huge truck. She didn't have a lot, but her little car
wouldn't have held it all. When the food
was done, Jasina took a deep breath and walked to the guest room, knocking on
it.
“Food's done.” She quietly called through it, knowing he would hear her,
and walked into her bedroom to change into black pajama pants with a matching
tank top.
“Did I hear somebody mention food?” Arielle asked, walking out of the bathroom
in a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, brushing her hair.
“You sure you're not a boy, darlin'?” He asked, stepping out into the
hallway.
“Uhh yeah? “
“Just wondering.”
“It's on the table, help yourselves!” Jasina called through the door and looked
up when the door opened, staring back at Mark while she finished clipping her
toenails. “The plates are in the cupboard along with the cups. I'm afraid all I have is water and milk for
the time being.” She smiled apologetically at him before turning back to her
task, not in the mood for food at the moment.
“You need to come eat.” He said gravely, wondering if she was living off
that measly slice of pizza from the previous night and admitted to himself he
wouldn't be surprised when she shook her head. “Hey Arie, make your momma a
plate, she'll be out in a minute!”
“Okay!”
He winked at Jasina before walking out.
Jasina smiled back at him and set her clippers down after doing her final
toe, walking out, and seen her plate had indeed already been made. “Thank you
sweetheart.” She murmured, kissing the top of her head before sitting down,
seeing they had hamburgers while she had a hot dog.
Mark remembered how much she loathed burgers, would he never stop
surprising her? Probably not. The three ate in silence, Jasina actually
eating three hot dogs, hungrier than she thought. Her life was complete, with her daughter and
Mark, though she knew she didn't stand a chance at rekindling what they once
had. That was her fault, but Jasina
wasn't going to let that get her down.
“So is Trish really gonna put you in a penthouse? That is so cool. We live on a ranch, but you probably knew
that didn't you? You lived there before
I was born, right? Well, dad's added on,
a lot! We even got a pool, it's outside,
but it's underground, maybe you-”
Mark watched his daughter talk without breathing, was that even possible?
“Arie, do you ever take a breath?” He asked curiously.
She inhaled deeply before rattling off again.
Jasina raised an eyebrow, nodding, glad Mark had done something with the
huge land, smiling the whole time. “That's wonderful.” She said when Arielle
took a breath to take another bite, standing up as she cleared her and Mark's
dishes, walking over to the sink to rinse them off. She decided she would let Mark do the
parenting part with putting Arielle to bed.
Drying her hands off, Jasina turned around and bumped right into Mark,
stumbling back. “Sorry, I didn't see you there.” Her kitchen was fairly small when
his huge form was in it as Jasina stepped around him, clearing the rest of the
table off.
“How can you NOT see me? I'm
broader than your damn doors woman.” He grumbled, though it was with good
humor. “Sorry, didn't mean to sneak up on you.”
“I keep telling him to wear bells or something.”
“I'm a guy, guys don't wear bells.”
“Gary does.”
Mark arched an eyebrow.
“He does, he attaches them with safety pins to the bottom of his boxers
and-”
“HOW do you KNOW this?”
Jasina didn't even want to know who Gary was as she shook her head, finishing
cleaning up, deciding the dishes could wait until after they were in bed. She wasn't sleeping tonight. She would pack while they slept as she walked
into the living room, looking around.
Her walls were blank, no pictures, for obvious reasons. She had a TV with a stand, couch and a coffee
table. Jasina walked over and pulled
some boxes out of her closet that she saved over the years of moving, folding
them up, and began placing her things in them.
It didn't take anymore than three at the most. How sad was that?
“Bed.” Mark grumbled, deciding he was going to be having that gun talk
with Gary a year sooner then expected. “I'll be there to tuck you in, gimme a
minute.”
“Dad, I think your face is going to explode, it's this awesome shade of
red.”
“Bed. Now.”
“How bout I just hug you now and we'll call it a night? Twelve's a bit old to be tucked into bed.”
“And a bit young to see a guy's boxers!”
“You wear boxers!”
“You don't see me flashin’ them though!”
“Mark...” Jasina sighed as she shook her head, knowing he was being an
overprotective father. It was rather
adorable. She smiled and hugged Arielle,
kissing the top of her head. “Good night sweetheart.” She murmured, watching as
Arielle scampered into her room, knowing Mark would take up the entire bed of
the guest room.
If she kept this up, Jasina would be done packing by morning
hopefully. She wouldn't get any sleep,
but...she really didn't need any. If she
did get tired, she would take the couch as she kept packing.
Mark cleared his throat awkwardly, watching her pack what little
belongings she had. “Need any help?” Which sounded stupid even to him, but he
felt the need to offer. He wasn't
looking forward to a night on that bed.
His feet were going to hang off, he might need the floor.
“No, I'm fine. Thank you anyway.”
She seen how awkward he was and she was as well. Especially after writing him that goodbye
letter. She never thought she'd see him
again, though because of their daughter's scheme to run away and come see her,
Jasina had managed to get her second chance. “You can sleep with Arielle in my
room, Mark.” She said softly, standing up, and dusted herself off. “It's a
king, a lot bigger than the guest room.
I'll take the couch. Go to bed,
you look exhausted.” She then walked into the kitchen to do the dishes.
“I'm not putting you out of your own bed, Jasi.” Mark said firmly,
following her into the kitchen, ducking his head so he wouldn't hit the low
hanging light. “I feel like a kid in a playhouse.” He grumbled, arching an
eyebrow when she began to silently laugh at him. “Quiet.” He snapped jokingly.
“Go to bed, we got all day tomorrow to get you out of here.”
“Nope, I'm just as stubborn as you, Mark.” She replied as she looked at him
over her shoulder briefly, not having been called Jasi in a long time, before
going back to doing the dishes. He gave
her goose bumps just being around him.
Hell, Jasina forgot what sex was, she hadn't had it since she left
Mark. Though he'd never believe her and
she wasn't going to tell him. “I'm not going to bed anytime soon so go ahead
and sleep. I promise I'll get a few
hours of sleep, but I want to get the majority of the packing done tonight.”
That and she didn't feel right having him packing her things, it was kind
enough of him to help her move. She
could do all the hard labor.
“If you say so, but I'm sleeping in the guest room.” Mark shrugged,
watching her for a moment, remembering a time it had been her in his kitchen in
their house, pregnant, bare foot and in the kitchen. It made him half smile. “Good night, Jasi.”
He yawned, walking out of the kitchen and down the hallway to the guest room,
closing the door behind him, staring at the bed. “Hmm.”
“Good night Mark.” She quietly whispered, finishing up the dishes before
beginning to pack them.
It took her nearly five hours to pack up everything, including her DVD
player and whatnot. She had nothing in
the guest room except that bed and some clothes in the closet. By the time five o'clock rolled around,
Jasina was exhausted and laid down on the couch, pulling the cover that was on
it over her, closing her eyes as the sleep engulfed her body. She knew in a few hours she would be getting
up and moving from Austin back to her true home Houston, Texas.
Mark had managed to fall asleep on the floor, having contemplated the twin
sized bed for awhile before determining that it must be meant as a pillow
because it was tiny. Hell, he'd put
Arielle into a queen sized bed when she had outgrown her toddler bed, just so
he wouldn't have to worry about breaking anything when he sat down with her at
night for her bedtime story.
The following day was busy to the say the least. Running on three hours of sleep, Jasina
needed a lot of coffee. Arielle was
chipper as a spring chicken and Mark looked like he hadn't slept well. Sighing, Jasina made them all a quick
breakfast, pancakes with eggs and bacon before getting started. It took six hours for them to load
everything, though Jasina left the twin bed behind. She didn't need it, more worried about her
bed. She would get another one when she
got to Houston, knowing Trish was probably giving her a really good job. She put her resignation into the newspaper
before heading on the road with Mark and Arielle. Halfway there, Jasina had managed to fall
asleep, her head resting against the window, her hair pulled up in a ponytail
with black cotton shorts, white tennis shoes and a black tank top. Arielle was laying on her, also sleeping.
Mark turned on the radio, keeping it low so it didn't wake the girls. Though he doubted anything could wake Jasina
right now, she was even snoring lightly, he found that amusing and
grinned. When she was pregnant she had
sounded like a foghorn and he had recorded it just to play back for her when
she kept denying it. He turned the
volume up just a little.
Her eyes slowly fluttered open and looked down, smiling down at her
daughter. Arielle. She ran her fingers through her hair, not to
the point of waking her up, just a light caress before staring out the window
again, the lyrics to the song ‘Wish You’d Stay’ by Brad Paisley flowing through
her mind. Tears swelled in her eyes as
she closed them, blinking them away, feeling her daughter snuggle against her
and couldn't believe what she had given up all those years ago. She wish she'd of stayed too, for not only
Arielle, but Mark as well.
He was aware she'd woken up, having caught the gesture with Arielle out of
the corner of his eye and cleared his throat, quickly changing the station.
They arrived in Houston a little after six o'clock as Jasina stepped out
of the truck, looking up at her new penthouse Trish had already set up for her,
and inhaled the air. Home. Houston.
She seen her daughter walking up to her and winked, knowing this
wouldn't be hard getting her stuff moved in.
She wasn't surprised when Trish and Steve showed up so while the men did
the heavy lifting, the three girls talked and caught up. It was around ten o'clock when Mark had the
bed put together and all of her furniture inside, which wasn't a lot.
“I appreciate all of your help, Mark, truly.” She wanted to hug him, but
instead extended her hand, a warm smile on her face.
“Don't mention it.” He murmured, taking her hand in his, squeezing instead
of shaking, letting go abruptly and stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking
around the place and whistled. “She doesn't spare any expense, does she?”
“No, I don't.” Trish said, walking into the bedroom and frowning. “I think
we need to get you some furniture, more of it.
Since Mark is apparently so handy.”
“Mark has done enough, Trish, and I don't see the need for it.” Jasina was
a simple woman, shrugging her shoulders.
The place was huge though, had two bedrooms with a huge living room,
dining room, kitchen and a balcony, which Jasina immediately fell in love with.
“I'll fill it up somehow.” She said as Arielle hugged her around the waist.
“Now don't forget, this weekend I'm taking you shopping for new jeans.” She
seen Mark sigh a breath of relief and chuckled softly, knowing he didn't care
for shopping.
“Thank god...”
“Why? Shouldn't you be thanking
mom?”
Trish had to go into the bathroom to pee she was laughing so hard, not
wanting to wet herself.
“What'd I say?”
Jasina shook her head, laughing quietly, and kissed the top of Arielle's
head. “You just let me know if there's anything else I can do, Mark.” She said,
meaning that, wanting to be a full time mother and not one of those that
Arielle only saw on the weekends. “You too sweetheart. Though it better be within reason and your
father has to give approval too.” She laughed when Arielle groaned, mentioning
something about two against one, shaking her head. “That's what parents do with
their children.” Jasina smirked when Arielle stuck her tongue out and tapped
her nose gently.
Chapter 13
“Hey Jas, I need toilet paper!”
“Oh yeah, that's down in the truck still.” That was a lot of floors down
as Arielle giggled when Trish groaned.
“Use a blow dryer.”
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”
“Mark Calaway! “ Jasina scolded, watching as her daughter started having a
fit with giggles, and shook her head just as Steve walked in. “Go get your
girlfriend some toilet paper from the truck.”
“What's wrong with my niece?”
“Mark told Trish to use a blow dryer...”
Steve was HOWLING with laughter as he walked down to the truck, having to
stop and piss in the local bathroom.
“You guys are so not funny!” Trish yelled from the bathroom. “He better be
fast, I might air dry in here.”
“What's that? She's not wiping?”
Mark stuffed a knuckle in his mouth to keep from snorting.
“Hey Trish, I found some paper towel?”
Jasina was laughing so hard, she was leaning against Mark as Trish
snatched the paper towel from the crack in the door. She finally got her bearings together just as
Steve walked back in. “Too late.” She stated, walking over to sit on the bed,
pulling Arielle between her legs.
“Aww hell.” He grumbled and smiled when Trish walked out, only to get
paper towel thrown in his face. “Thanks honey.”
“No problem, darling.” She smiled sweetly back at him.
“Trish, did you wash your hands?”
Trish blinked, staring at Arielle. “Of course I did.”
She held up the bottle of hand soap. “With what?”
Mark was biting his knuckle again.
Trish walked back into the bathroom, coming out with a bar of soap. “This,
my dear.”
After they talked for a few more minutes, Trish and Steve headed out,
Trish berating him for taking so damn long with the toilet paper and Steve just
grumbling a 'yes honey' in return. “She's got him wrapped around her finger.”
Jasina commented, shaking her head, and heard Mark announce they were leaving.
“Thank you for all your help once again, both of you.” She smiled as Arielle
hugged her. “You know where I live, you come see me anytime you want.” Jasina
knew she wasn't welcome at the ranch, which was understandable, and kissed the
top of her head.
“Oh, I will.”
“She'll call first.” Mark said gently, looking down at Arielle with a
raised eyebrow, sticking his tongue out at her when she did it to him. “Just to
make sure your mom is home.”
“Ohhhh...yeah, good idea.”
Jasina chuckled softly and nodded as Arielle headed out, shouting she
loved her over her shoulder. “Love you too sweetheart.” She called back,
walking behind Mark, and leaned against her door. She wanted to tell Mark how much she loved
him too, but held back for very good reason. “Have a good night, Mark.” She
softly said and shut the door after he walked down the stairs to the
truck. Jasina closed it, her back
pressing against the door, and closed her eyes before going to her room. She was exhausted and was out like a light as
soon as her head hit the pillow.
Mark listened to Arielle's chatter the entire ride home, only to sigh when
she fell asleep as they were pulling into the driveway. Go figure.
He carried her into the house and to her bed. He had just pulled off her shoes when he
realized she was twelve. Twelve years
old and sighed, shaking his head. The
years had gone by too damn fast it seemed. Pulling the blankets over her, he walked out
of the bedroom, feeling pretty tired himself.
~!~
A few months passed since Jasina moved back to Houston and things couldn't
have been better. Her and Arielle
shopped and saw a movie at least once a week, sometimes with Mark, sometimes
just the girls. Arielle wanted to
include her father and Jasina honestly didn't mind seeing Mark...or spending
time with him. Though she also knew he
would eventually find someone else and that saddened her. She would wish him well though if that time
ever came, knowing she blew it with him and accepted it. It was a Saturday afternoon when her phone
rang, her eyes widening at the sound of Mark's frantic voice.
“Mark, what's wrong?” She asked worriedly, already slipping her shoes on
and rushing out the door.
“Arielle has locked herself in the damn bathroom and won't let me in!”
Mark was in a full blown panic at the moment. “She's screaming at the top of
her damn lungs that's she fuckin' dying and she won't let me-”
“DADDY, I'M BLEEDING TO DEATH!” Arielle screamed just from the other side
of the door, wailing hysterically.
“WHAT?” Now Jasina was scared as she peeled out of her parking lot of her
penthouse and zoomed down the road as fast as she could without getting pulled
over. “I'm on my way, Mark! Just...tell
her to calm down...” Jasina was frantic now, wearing white cotton shorts with a
white grayish tank top, having been in the middle of cleaning since it was her
day off from the newspaper. Why was her
daughter trying to give them BOTH a heart attack? “What is she saying?”
Mark held the phone right up to the bathroom door. “Arielle, honey, it's
yer mom, c'mon, open the door!” He pleaded.
“NO! You stay out! I'M BLEEDING TO DEATH, MOM!” Arielle shouted.
“I want my mom! NOT YOU DAD!”
Now that stung just a little bit.
“Eww...Eww, what is that? MOM
HELP!”
“Mark, just...I'll be there!” Jasina hung up as she threw the phone on the
passenger seat and pulled on the road before beginning to speed. She arrived in record time, five minutes, and
surprisingly didn't get pulled over before shutting her car off and ran up the
drive of the ranch and through the front door. “MARK?” She heard his voice and
took off upstairs, taking two at a time, finally stopping when she heard
Arielle screaming. “What the hell happened?” Jasina demanded, not giving him
time to respond, and knocked on the door. “Sweetheart, I'm here. What's going on Arie?”
The door opened enough for Arielle's thin arm to jerk her mother in the
bathroom, slamming the door shut right in Mark's face.
All Mark could do was stare bemusedly at the door, slumping back against
the wall to wait.
“Mom, I'm dying, look!”
Jasina had to bite her lip to keep from laughing, patting her daughter's
shoulder reassuringly with a smile. “Relax sweetheart, you're not dying. Hold on okay?” Jasina opened the door and
stepped out, seeing Mark stand up, the fear in his green eyes unmistakable.
“Relax, she's fine. She's having her
first period.”
Mark stared at Jasina for a moment before finally making a face. “All that
fuss over-” He stopped again, going pale. “Wait a damn minute, she's
TWELVE! She can’t have- no, no, no. I don't even have any...anything for...” He
raked a hand over his face, finally just staring at her. “Please tell me you're
pulling my chain.”
“I started when I was twelve.” Jasina said patiently, seeing how pale Mark
was, and sighed as she placed a hand on his arm. “It's common for girls to
start at this age, Mark. I'm not pulling
anything, she started. I'm going to go
get her some pads that I have in my car.
Then I'm going to take her shopping and show her what they're for and
whatnot. You don't have to worry about
anything. Just...take a deep breath.”
She was afraid he was going to keel over at any given moment, his chest rising
up and down at a rapid pace.
Mark was reliving when he and Jasina had first started living together and
his first time dealing with a woman on the rag he couldn't run away from. His green eyes were getting wider and wider,
the color draining from his face. “I am going to go pour a drink then get
started on making a new house for myself out back.” He muttered.
Jasina lost it as she started laughing, her eyes sparkling back at him.
“Did you honestly think Arie wouldn't have her period?” She laughed harder when
he muttered something about he was hoping, shaking her head. “She's growing up
into a woman, Mark, whether you want it to happen or not.” When the sadness
took over his green eyes, she sighed and pressed her hand against his chest.
“She'll still be your little girl no matter how old she gets. Now I have to go get those pads out of the
car.” She quickly rushed downstairs, knowing Arielle was stuck in the bathroom
until she had one.
“Dad, is she back yet?”
“She JUST walked out the door.”
“Well tell her to hurry!”
Mark rubbed his face, exhaling loudly.
Oh yeah, he was building a guest house that he'd be using once a month
when he apparently got his period too.
Jasina rushed back upstairs and seen Mark was still there, smiling and
walked inside the bathroom after tapping on the door, shutting it behind
her. She explained what they were used
for and how once a month she would be getting this until she hit menopause at
the age of fifty. Jasina was surprised
Arielle hadn't been taught this kind of thing in school, but...that was the
school system and it made her roll her eyes.
It took about a half an hour before Jasina and Arielle emerged from the
bathroom, both of them wiping tears away, and she bent down to hug her daughter
close, kissing the top of her head.
“Now go get ready so we can go get you some more.” She tapped her nose and
watched as Arie went to her room, sighing gently.
Mark had to look away, not entirely sure if he was ready to acknowledge
his little princess was growing up. “I'm going downstairs.” He rumbled, taking
the steps two at a time.
“DAD, I NEED SOME CLOTHES WASHED!”
He did a full body shiver, not even wanting to know why though his mind
cheerfully supplied the answer, especially since he'd just done the wash a day
ago.
Jasina took Arielle shopping, coming back with some new clothes since her
daughter insisted she needed them, shaking her head. She couldn't believe how much she missed out
on and let her daughter walk upstairs while Jasina looked around the
house. They'd been gone for three hours,
Arielle insisting on trying on every pair of pants and shirt she wanted,
chuckling softly. Pictures of Arielle
adorned the walls and Jasina felt the tears swell in her eyes, quickly blinking
them away when Mark walked back in.
“Feeling better?” She asked softly, seeing the color was back in his face.
“No. I hope you bought her that
Midol or Pamprin shit, whatever the hell it was you used to take.” Mark
grunted, a beer in hand as he dropped down onto his massive couch, picking up
the remote and flicking to a sports channel, his eyes not even focused.
“So...what all did she get and how much do I owe ya?”
“I got everything and you don't owe me anything.” She replied softly,
seeing he was having a hard time with this, and smiled gently as she walked
over to sit down next to him. “I know this must be hard for you, but she will
always be your little girl. You know
that right? Just because she's changing,
doesn't mean she won't love her daddy any less.
You are her entire world, Mark.” She patted him on the shoulder as a
gesture for comfort before standing back up, not wanting to overstay her
welcome.
“I had to duck and dodge you during that time of the month...” Mark
groaned, covering his eyes with his hand. “What if she's exactly the same way?”
He could just picture it, his sweet cherub throwing plates at his head because
he didn't have an afternoon snack waiting or something else that was trivial,
but to her would be the end of the world.
“That is something you're going to have to deal with. Though...” Jasina leaned over the couch to
where their eyes locked. “Chocolate helps during that time of the month. You'll be fine.” Jasina winked at him reassuringly
just as Arielle came downstairs, causing her to turn around and smiled. “Did
you take the Pamprin for your cramps sweetheart?” Arielle nodded and walked
inside as she sat next to her father, leaning against him.
“So what was that about chocolate?” Arielle asked, which also happened to
be her favorite candy, dessert, drink, whenever she could get it.
“There's a bag of Hershey Kisses on the counter, knock yourself out.” He
replied, looking down at her, cracking a grin when she smiled at him. Okay, maybe this wouldn't be so bad.
“Oh yeah, my laundry?”
And then again...
“Arie, give your dad a breather okay?
He's gone through a traumatic experience.” Jasina smiled and rolled her eyes.
“You have new clothes to wear for a week, now give your old man a rest.” She
ordered before kissing the top of her head, sighing and walked toward the front
door. “Arie, I'm gonna get going okay?” She called, slipping her shoes on,
having taken them off when she came in from shopping with her daughter.
“No, you're staying for dinner.” Arielle said firmly, getting up and
smiling sweetly when both her parents just looked at her. “I'm making lasagna.”
“You gonna remember to cook the noodles this time?” Mark quipped, actually
cringing when her green eyes flashed on him. “Go eat some damn chocolate.”
“I'm gonna put rat poison in yours if you don't play fair, dad.”
“Am I really now?” Jasina replied, crossing her arms in front of her chest
and seen the pleading in her daughter's eyes, smirking. “You apologize to your
father and I'll stay for dinner.” When Arielle grumbled a 'sorry dad', Jasina
grinned before nodding, slipping her shoes back off and walked toward the
kitchen, brushing against Mark accidentally on the way. “So who taught you how
to make lasagna?”
“My home-ec-” Arielle trailed off when she heard her dad clearing his
throat. “Fine, dad did.” She rolled her eyes. “I was failing home-ec and he
showed me how to make it so I'd pass since I needed extra credit. I did okay the first time around, then the
second I forgot to boil the pasta.”
“And didn't bother tellin' me when she realized it.”
“Did you know Dad is too big to perform the Heimlich on?”
“Most definitely, I don't even think I could perform that move on
him. So Mark, you better not choke or
else there's going to be problems.”
She smiled sweetly before turning back to her daughter, watching her get
the pan out and crossed one leg over the other, her honey chestnut hair flowing
down her back. It was to her waist now,
curling at the ends, though Jasina was contemplating cutting it to her middle
back again. Her eyes were totally
focused on her daughter right now though, smiling and nodding when Arielle
pointed out what she was doing, giving her own teaching lesson. She was smart and it did Jasina's heart good
to see how grown up Arielle was becoming.
Chapter 14
Mark stayed in the kitchen out of habit since Arielle wasn't allowed to
cook without an adult present and he was usually the only adult in her
life. He sat down on a stool at the
kitchen island, grinning when Arielle
placed a beer in front of him and a Sprite in front of Jasina. “Sometimes I
think I have you trained and others-” He ducked a Hershey Kiss that came flying
at his face. “I think you have me trained.”
“Thank you sweetheart.” Jasina giggled, shaking her head and took the
Hershey’s Kiss from Mark before he could have it, unwrapping it and popped it
in her mouth.
It'd been so long since she had chocolate, so long since Jasina felt this
happy, and had a big smile on her face.
It was genuine and full of life, her eyes sparkled, and she was getting
her curvy figure back since she was eating properly. Having Arielle in her life did that and
Jasina owed her little girl her life.
She would give it up in a heartbeat for her too.
Mark was taking a drink of his beer when the next Hershey's Kiss came
flying, getting the corner of eye, which in turn made him drop the can. The can EXPLODED.
“Wow...Mom...What kind of underwear are those?”
He glanced down at Jasina's soaking wet shorts, arching an eyebrow. “Yeah,
what kind?”
Jasina was as red as a strawberry, the beer covering her, and cleared her
throat as she stumbled off the stool. “That really is none of your business.”
She grumbled, peeling her shorts off her thighs and groaned. “Do you have a
towel?” She asked, seeing Mark was laughing, and smacked him in the arm.
“Marcus William Calaway this is not funny!!” She shouted, completely
humiliated. Her panties were lavender
and were now see-through until they dried. “Arie, I'm gonna have to go home and
change, honey...”
“No...” Arielle's face crumpled.
“She's not going.” Mark rolled his eyes, standing up. “Come on, Jasi.” He
walked out of the kitchen, turning when she didn't follow. “Bring your purple
panty covered ass over here and let's go, woman.”
“I'm going to shove my foot up your ass in a minute, Mark!” Jasina
growled, not amused and reluctantly followed him as she plucked the cotton
fabric from her thighs, sighing heavily.
She couldn't believe she was soaked in beer, thanking god none got in
her hair...that she knew of. “What made you drop that damn beer anyway?”
“Off hand Arie throwin' another piece of candy right into my damn eye.”
Mark grunted, leading the way up the stairs and into his bedroom. He didn't think anything of crossing to the
closet and pulling out one of his t-shirts.
Hesitating and switching the white out for black, Mark turned to hold it
out to her with a grin. “Just in case.”
“This is nice of you and everything, Mark, but my garments are soaked
through too...” She trailed off, turning redder, and swallowed hard as she
touched her cheeks, which were a deep crimson red. “Let me just run home really
fast and change...” Jasina knew damn well he didn't have any panties and she
wasn't going to fit in any of Arielle's.
Arching an eyebrow at her, his green eyes roamed her wet body, smirking
wickedly. “Hmmm...That shirt is gonna
probably fall down past yer knees and as long as you don't go spreadin' your
legs, there shouldn't be a problem.
Washin' your clothes ain't going to take that damn long woman.”
Jasina shook her head back at him, clearing her throat awkwardly. “Thanks.” She mumbled before walking out,
going into the bathroom and slipped out of her clothes, groaning when she seen
her bra was soaked through too. ‘This is bad.’ She thought before slipping the
pure black t-shirt over her head, inhaling the scent and closed her eyes. It smelled just like him, Jasina always loved
his scent. She waited until her cheeks
weren’t flaming anymore before walking out, the t-shirt indeed going past her
knees, carrying her wet clothes. Mark
was waiting for her as soon as she walked out, raising an eyebrow. “You're
letting Arie cook alone?”
“No. I called down on her to hold
on till we're back.” He said, smirking and looking down at her. “Should I turn
up the heat?” It was off, it was a nice warm night.
“Hurry up, I'm waitin'!”
“Mmmm.”
The look in his eyes set her heart racing as Jasina swallowed hard,
hearing their daughter calling for them, and handed him her clothes. “No, it's
nice in here.” She softly replied, beginning to walk past him toward the
stairs. His shirt clung to her body,
even though it was a little big, for obvious reasons. Mark was huge and, if people didn't know him,
they wouldn't approach him. That's just
the type of aura that surrounded him. “Coming Arie!”
Arielle arched an eyebrow when she seen her mom, taking in the black shirt
and began cracking a smile that she had definitely gotten from her father. “Wow
mom, that thing is huge on you.” She studied her parents thoughtfully. “How did
you two even make me? Dad is so big and
mom is tiny.”
Mark had to turn around and walk right back out.
Jasina blinked at her daughter and felt her cheeks burn even more, raking
a hand through her hair. “Umm...” Jasina watched Mark walk out of the kitchen
and stopped him by grabbing his arm. “Oh no mister! I had the talk to her about her period. YOU can talk to her about sex.” She stated,
seeing Mark's eyes widen, and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Fine,
we'll do it together. Fair enough?”
“I know what sex is you two.” Arielle made a face, wondering what the hell
they were on about. “I mean you two don't match up physically.”
“How do you know what sex is when you didn't know what your damn period
was?” He demanded, trying not to remember just how damn well he and Jasina had
matched up physically.
“Toni and I asked her mom.”
“Sweetheart, it doesn't matter the size...” Jasina was trying really hard
not to think the same thing, her entire body flushing and sat on the stool,
crossing one leg over the other. “This really isn't the best conversation
during making dinner.” She finally said, smiling at her clueless daughter who
was busy finishing up the lasagna before popping it in the oven. She was glad her daughter had someone to turn
too regarding that subject, knowing Mark wouldn't be able to handle it.
Mark was making plans to call Lashonna after Jasina was gone and Arielle
was in bed, wondering just what else his daughter had been learning about that
he wasn't aware of. Women...
“Yep, Lashonna told us that the stork comes and that's sex.” Arielle said
innocently. “Though I coulda sworn there was something about eggs and tadpoles
in there, I didn't catch too much of it, she was pretty flustered.”
“Storks?”
Jasina put her head in her hands, shaking it back and forth and silently
began laughing, her shoulders shaking. “She...She actually said storks?” When
Arielle nodded, looking clueless, Jasina cleared her throat, knowing she would
have to talk to her daughter. “Sweetheart, that's what most adults say to
kids. The truth is, sex is something
that you will learn about when you're older and in school. You'll understand why your father and I were
compatible and you'll also learn about what you went through today. Now, how about a different topic, hmmm?” She
suggested, seeing Mark was more than flustered and so was she.
“No, if it's not storks, eggs and tadpoles, then what the hell is it?”
Mark arched an eyebrow, retrieving himself another beer and took a long
swallow, staring at her intently. “Sex is a man and a woman, naked, in a bed
together.”
“That's it?”
“You know how animals mate?”
“Yeah, kinda, our- Ooooohhhhhhhhh.” Arielle made a face. “You two are
sick!”
“Sex is not a bad thing, Arie.” Jasina conceded with a smile, her teal
eyes sparkling. “If we hadn't had sex, you would've never been born. Though, it will be awhile before you even get
the...urges...to want to do that with a boy.” She cleared her throat when Mark
growled, rolling her eyes. “Of course that is if your father doesn't chase
every boy away that you date.” Jasina couldn't believe she was having this
conversation with her daughter with Mark around, and cracked open her Sprite,
taking a long swig of it.
Arielle was considering that, her head cocked to the side thoughtfully.
“Even Gary?”
“Especially Gary. You're not
allowed to even date until you're at least...fifty.”
“Won't you be dead by then?”
“Just wait until you're at least a teenager and let me worry about your
father.” She stated, ignoring Mark's deathly glare, crossing her arms in front
of her chest. “How long until dinner is ready?” She asked with a smile, hugging
Arielle when she came toward her, and kissed the top of her head.
“Half hour. Let's do something.”
Arielle tapped her chin thoughtfully, studying her parents. “Hmmm...a game?”
Mark arched an eyebrow and asked, “What game?”
“Twister! I'll go get it.”
Now he was grinning, shooting Jasina a look.
“Arie, honey I can't play that game.” Jasina protested, sliding off of the
stool, ignoring Mark's grin as she stopped her daughter. “Sweetheart, I...this
is the ONLY thing I'm wearing right now.
Maybe after my clothes are done?” She suggested with a smile, not liking
the grave look on her daughter's face. “Or you and your father can play while I
watch.”
“Dad, can't she wear a pair of your boxers?”
“Honey, Jasi is...like...three of her could fit in my boxers.” Maybe an
exaggeration, but...they'd fall off of her, a lot.
“What about that pair that Melina woman left here?”
“I thought I threw those away?”
“No, they're in a box in the hallway closet. Where I put them when you DIDN'T throw away
that stuff you were supposed too.”
“I don't feel comfortable wearing another woman's clothes, Arie.” She
stated gently, but firmly, that smile never leaving her face. “I'm not good at
Twister anyway. You and your father can
play, I don't mind watching.” She shot Mark a look when he went to open his
mouth, smirking when he decided against saying anything before going back to
sit on the stool. It was HIS fault she
was in this predicament after all by dropping his beer like a damn fool.
“Whatever happened to Melina anyways?”
“I don't know, think she moved, why?”
“I was just wondering.” Arielle looked at her mom. “Melina used to come
clean the house for us. And my old dog
attacked her on her first visit, shredded her skirt. It was kinda bad.”
“Yeah it was. I had to go buy her
new damn clothes.”
“I’m sure you didn't enjoy that.” She giggled and stood up, walking over
to look in the oven, raising an eyebrow. “It looks delicious, sweetheart.” She
kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly, sighing gently. “Thank you for
making me stay, even though Trish is going to have my butt on a silver platter
for not getting my article done.” She shrugged when Arielle raised an eyebrow.
“She loves me, I'll sweet talk her like you do to your father.”
“Hey, she don't sweet-”
“Daddy, could you set the table please?”
“Sure thing, princess.”
Arielle winked at Jasina as he got up.
Jasina laughed and shook her head. “Mark, she has you wrapped around her
finger, just admit it.”
She walked over to the cabinet, where she knew the dishes were and pulled
some plates out, handing them to him before getting the silverware, their
fingers brushing together, sending a shiver down her spine. Jasina helped him set the table while Arielle
finished with the lasagna, popping some garlic bread in the toaster oven to go
with it. She sat at the table and
watched her daughter admirably, knowing she would never be able to repay Mark
for how well he took care of their daughter.
Once everyone was seated, Arielle smiled. “Okay, say grace.” She giggled
at the shocked look on Jasina’s face. “It was a joke.”
“I'm saying grace anyway, just to make sure I survive this meal.” Mark
joked, studying the lasagna like it might kill him, his green eyes twinkling,
enjoying joking with his daughter.
“You're not serious are you?”
Jasina shook her head with a smile, crossing one leg over the other, and
wished her clothes would dry already as she began serving first her daughter
then Mark before herself. “I'm sure it's delicious sweetheart. Here, mom will take a bite first.” She did it
and grinned before beginning to eat more, knowing she had her mother's cooking
skills.
“Of course it is, I made it myself.”
“Good thing you're not cocky.” Mark said deadpan, watching as Arielle
began eating, digging in himself. “Delicious sweetheart.”
“I know.” Arielle grinned, beginning to inhale like usual. “HOT!”
“Well...yeah.”
Chapter 15
They ate dinner together, like a family, though it saddened Jasina that it
really wasn't the case. She didn't show
it though, not wanting to ruin their time together. It wasn't often Jasina got to eat dinner with
her daughter and Mark. Especially
Mark. God she missed him. Jasina hadn't thought about another man
besides him in the span of eleven years, how crazy was that? She finished eating and stood up, walking her
plate to the sink and rinsed it before putting it in the dishwasher along with
her fork.
“How much longer until my clothes are done, Mark?” She asked softly,
really needing some panties right about now.
Mark frowned, making a face and slapped his forehead, walking out of the
kitchen and downstairs to the basement.
Arielle shook her head when she heard the dryer going. “About another hour
mom.” She said, beginning to clear the table and looked at the dishwasher. “We
don't use that. Dad unhooked it when I
um...”
“Decided to test laundry soap in it.”
“Oh good grief.” Jasina rolled her eyes and took her dishes back out, beginning
to hand wash them, knowing Mark had forgotten to start the dryer. “Thanks.” She
muttered good-naturedly before walking over to clear the table off. “Uh-uh, you
cooked.” She stated, shoving her daughter gently away. “We got this. Go sit down and relax.” Jasina winked at her
before bringing the rest of the dishes to the sink, filling it with water and
soap before doing them. She didn't care
if she was a guest or not, she wasn't going to just sit around and let everyone
cater to her. Jasina didn't deserve
that, especially from Mark and Arielle.
Shrugging, Arielle went into the living room, flipping on the television.
“Homework first!” Mark yelled from the basement.
“Dad!” She shrieked, walking over to the door and sighed. “What're you
doing?”
“Folding these damn clothes you left in the dryer. Homework, now.”
“Aww man.”
“Mind your father, Arielle.” Jasina stated as she finished the dishes
before proceeding to put the food away, knowing Mark had three plates
full. He could eat more later if he
wanted, but she didn't want the food going to waste. When she was finished, she walked over,
seeing her daughter doing math and made a face. “That was never my strong
subject either.” She whispered before wiping the table down.
“I'm better with history.” Arie said, frowning as she scribbled on a piece
of blank paper, rechecking her figures with a sigh. “Think it'd be cheating if
I used a calculator?”
“Yes.” Mark grunted, carrying up a basket filled with clothes and set it
down beside the stairs. “Those need taken care of before you go to bed, Arie.”
“Sure, sure when I'm done. Hey mom,
why don't you spend the night?”
That question caught her off guard as Jasina blinked, seeing Mark had
frozen in place as well and cleared her throat, choosing her words carefully.
“Sweetheart, I have a lot of work to get done and I'm sure your father would
like a little peace and quiet tonight.” She said softly, raising an eyebrow
down at the homework and showed her the correct process, shrugging. “I know a
little math, not a lot though.”
“Dad never gets peace and quiet, he doesn't mind, do you daddy?” Arielle
shot him a pleading look. “Or I can go stay with you!”
“You have school in the morning, Arie.” Mark finally spoke up, snapping
out of his daze.
“Then it's settled, I'll go get the extra bedding!” Arielle was up and off
in a heartbeat, not giving them time to turn her down.
Mark stared at Jasina. “She's your daughter.”
“Oh don't even go there with me. She's
OUR daughter.” She corrected, pointing to the stairs, raising an eyebrow.
“Unless you WANT me to stay the night?”
She smirked when Mark cursed before going after Arielle, hiding her
sadness perfectly as she went over to sit down at the table, raking a hand
through her hair. Having separate
parents was harder on Arielle than Jasina ever thought. Then again, she never had separate parents so
she honestly didn't know.
“Honey, she has to work and you have school.” Mark said, trying to
dissuade his daughter.
“Dad, just this once...I'd like you both under the same roof, then I can
pretend that I have both my parents instead of just one.” Arielle said, looking
up at him, sadness creeping into her green eyes. “Please?”
Mark could only nod, pain eating away at him and headed back downstairs.
“You're stayin'.”
Her head snapped up when she heard that, teal eyes widened, groaning. “You
couldn't convince her?” When Mark shook his head, Jasina knew she was in hell,
pure and utter hell. “I'll leave when she goes to sleep. I know you don't want me here.”
Jasina didn't give him a chance to say another word before walking out and
upstairs to talk to her daughter. She
knew she had to explain to Arielle that her mother and father were not together
and probably would never be again. The
thought broke her heart, but it was the harsh reality Jasina had to live with.
Mark raked a hand through his hair, glancing at the stairs then back to
the couch. He had a guest room, but it
was currently storing a bunch of old clothes, toys, stuff Arielle had outgrown
during the years. Not to mention
everything of Jasina's that she hadn't taken when she had left him. He'd always meant to go through and throw it
all out, but somehow never seemed to find the time, or the willpower.
“Arielle, I don't think this is a good idea sweetheart.” Jasina was being
turned down no matter what she said, sighing heavily. “Look, I know you wish
your father and I were together, but that's not the case. He tolerates me being around because it makes
you happy. That doesn't make him a bad
person, you know what I did, sweetheart.” She sighed as Arielle sat down beside
her, running her fingers through her hair. “I can't begin imagining how
confusing this must be for you. We'll
work this out alright, but I really can't stay the night. I have that article I have to finish for
Trish and your father doesn't need me staying under his roof. Do you understand?” She was speaking softly
and quietly, staring into those green eyes of her daughter's.
“So you two are just pretending to get along for me? Well forget it! If you guys are just faking it then I don't
need either of you!” Arielle shouted angrily, tears rapidly welling in her
eyes. “Just forget it. I don't need you
guys lying just to make me feel better!”
He stood in the hallway, listening, his head hanging as his daughter's
words pierced his heart.
“Damn it Arielle listen to me!” Jasina shouted, her own temper up, and
grabbed her arms firmly in her grasp. “I hurt your father when I ran away! I don't blame him one bit for not liking me,
Arielle! I made a terrible mistake, I
told you what happened, do you honestly blame him? Because I don't. This is my fault entirely and I'm paying for
it! Look at me...” Her voice lowered a
little, knowing Arielle's hormones were going crazy since she started her
period. “We both love you unconditionally and we'll get along for your
sake. I have nothing against your
father, I love him. I told you
that. But he doesn't love me, not
anymore, and I don't blame him for that.
What I did is unforgivable and I'm lucky...no, I'm BLESSED...that he
gave me the opportunity to be in your life.”
“He only did it to make me happy, so it really doesn't count.” Arielle
whispered, closing her eyes, a few fat tears rolling down her face. “If I
hadn't gone to Austin he wouldn't of ever looked you up and you never would've
come back.”
Arielle was just as big a heartbreaker as her mother was; Mark had to walk
away before he started crying as well.
“I know, I know that.” She whispered, her own heart breaking and pulled
her daughter into her arms, holding her tightly against her. “That doesn't make
him a bad person, Arielle. It doesn't. He was only doing what he felt right to
protect you. He loves you so much
sweetheart.” She slowly lifted her chin up as their eyes met. “One thing you
need to understand about life, Arielle, is that everything happens for a
reason. I left to clean myself up,
though it took me a long time to do it, and a life alternating experience,
which I told you about.” She sighed as she wiped her tears away along with her
daughter's. “He just wants you to be happy sweetheart and if you being with
your biological mother does that, then he's willing to...do it.” She was going
to say suffer, but thought best not too.
Mark figured now would be a good time to come in and start settling things
down. He knew his daughter. After all, he'd been the one to mop up those
tears for years now. Sighing, he settled
on the other side of the bed, reaching out to gently run his fingers through
Arielle's hair, hair that was so much like her mother's.
“Lil darlin', not everythin' works out the way we want them too.”
“Why not?”
“Because that's the way life is, sweetheart.” Jasina quietly replied, not
moving from her spot on the bed, wiping her own tears away as she continued
holding Arielle. “Life deals you the cards and it's your decision on what you
do with that hand.” That was the best metaphor she could come up with and
pressed her forehead to the side of Arielle's head. “Your mother wasn't dealt
the best hand and that was my own stupidity and choices. Don't ever follow in my footsteps
Arielle. Follow your own path.” She
stated almost forcefully, choked up with emotion and squeezed her a little
tighter. “I'm so sorry...” She whispered heartbrokenly and pressed a kiss to
her forehead, closing her eyes.
This was getting to be a little much.
There was only so much in one night that Mark could take. First his daughter starting her period, then the
awkward dinner and now this. Just
listening to Jasina made him both angry and sad, his heart aching for her as
well as himself.
“Look...it's gettin’ late and everyone is tired.” And emotional. “Jasina,
you can stay here, I'd feel a lot better if you did, I don't want you driving
in this condition.”
She knew that's not what he really wanted, but nodded anyway, tapping her
daughter's nose gently. “Now go on and take a bath or whatever you do before
bed. I'm staying.” She smiled as Arielle
threw her arms around her neck, hugging her tightly and kissed the top of her
head, wiping her tears away.
She let Mark have a minute alone with Arielle while she went downstairs,
trying to get her own emotions in check.
She paced back and forth, taking deep breaths, and had the sudden urge
to call Andy. Jasina would do that when
she was home tomorrow after she got off of work. Sighing, Jasina just walked over to stare out
the sliding glass door, overlooking the huge land Mark lived on, and sighed
almost wistfully. It was beautiful out
here, always had been.
After Arielle had told him off for being too clingy, Mark made his way
downstairs, shaking his head. Too
clingy? Shaking his head, he looked
around, spotting Jasina by the glass doors that led to the backyard, walking
over to stand behind her.
“You alright?” He asked softly.
“Yes, I am.” She softly replied, slowly turning around to face him,
staring into his green eyes. “She's overly emotional because of the hormones.”
She explained and smiled when he grimaced. “Are my clothes done?” She asked,
not feeling comfortable in just his shirt with no garments underneath. The man made heat spread throughout her body,
even after all this time, but Jasina hid it to perfection. Mark didn't want her and Jasina accepted
that, she was trying to move on the best she could, even though no man would
ever compare to him.
“Probably.” Mark shrugged, making his way across the room and to the
basement door, glancing back at her.
Smiling somewhat he disappeared down the steps. He returned a few minutes later with her
clothes, passing them to her. “I didn't fold them on account you'll probably be
puttin' them back on.” This was more than awkward. “You can sleep in my room,
Jasi.”
“Nope, you were stubborn about sleeping in my room at my old apartment in
Austin, so I'm going to say the same thing to you that you did to me. I'm not kicking you out of your room, Mark.”
She smiled back at him and took her clothes gently. “Thank you for washing them
for me.” She added as an afterthought before going to the bathroom to change,
closing the door behind her.
Her back pressed against it as she inhaled the scent, wishing she could
keep it, but knew that wasn't possible.
Sighing sadly, Jasina pulled the shirt over her head and slipped her
panties and bra back on along with her tank top and shorts. Her socks were tucked in her shoes so she
didn't have to worry about finding them in the morning. When she was finished, Jasina walked out with
Mark's shirt in hand, wondering where he'd gone off to.
He was in his bedroom, the door shut except for a crack, peeling his shirt
off over his head. Grunting, he kicked
off his boots and socks, nudging them aside with his foot before tossing the
shirt into a clothes hamper, stretching his arms over his head to crack his
back. Loosening the tail he had his hair
pulled back in, he shook out his long hair with a groan. He knew his couch wasn't the most comfortable
to sleep on, if anything he needed to get around and replace it. Making up his mind, he stood up and headed
for the door.
Jasina was standing there when he opened it, her hand up ready to knock on
it, and had to learn how to breathe again.
His body was so muscular, she remembered running her nails down his
chest and felt the muscles ripple beneath her touch. “Here.” She said, handing
him the shirt he borrowed her with a hesitant smile. “Thanks again for letting
me wear it.” She said before turning and walking down the hallway, heading for
the stairs. She needed to breathe and
took deep breaths, still wondering how the hell she had managed to walk out on
him. Then again, she hadn't been in the
right frame of mind.
Mark shook his head, following her in just his skintight jeans. He watched her walk down the stairs, mentally
wondering if it was wrong to be admiring your ex-wife's curvy hips or the way
her ass swayed from side to side. Not to
mention them beautiful legs, she must have taken up running or something. Clearing his throat, he headed down the steps
after her.
Chapter 16
This was bad, in a good way, but bad nonetheless. Feelings that Jasina hadn't experienced in
years were surfacing and it was hard shoving them back down, especially around
her very delicious looking ex-husband.
He definitely hadn't let himself go.
He was strong, muscular, that long auburn hair looked soft to the touch
and those penetrating green eyes...Jasina was shocked a woman hadn't snagged
him after she left. That made her smile
a little as she headed to the living room, not remotely tired, though she
needed a distraction.
Her eyes began scanning the pictures that adorned the walls, seeing how
little Arielle was in soft purple. Mark
never did like pink and she was glad he hadn't made Arielle wear that
color. So many memories she had missed
out on, Jasina had to take a breath as she picked one up of them. Arielle was probably four or five and she was
grinning in the camera while sitting on her father's lap. They looked dressed up, though Mark still
wore his black jeans with a nice white shirt and his hair pulled back. They looked happy as she set the picture back
down.
Mark watched her, knowing it had to be hard to see pictures of the
daughter she had left behind. A part of
him wanted to rage at her for leaving, but another part understood,
somewhat. He had never had an addiction,
something that consumed his life, unless Arielle counted. So since he hadn't ever been in her shoes, he
couldn't judge her. Theoretically. The part that bothered him the most was why
hadn't she come to him.
It hurt more than words could say to see what she had given up all those
years ago, what she had walked away from, but Jasina didn't regret her
decision. She needed help, even Andy
agreed with her. Mark wouldn't have been
enough to stop her from doing the drugs.
She needed psychiatric help and he couldn't afford that, not when he was
just getting the shop underway. They
barely could afford Arielle's birth let alone a drug addiction on top of
that.
Jasina had made the right decision, though it cost her the love of her
life and the first eleven years with her daughter. Still, Jasina knew deep in her heart she did
the right thing. Andy told her everyone
had choices in life and sometimes they were stuck between a rock and a hard
place, sometimes the right decision wasn't always the easiest to make. The more she looked around, the more it made
her smile, knowing Arielle had been well taken care of and loved while she was
gone.
Dropping down onto the couch to watch her, Mark nudged underneath the
coffee table with his foot, pushing out a few photo albums. “They're mostly of
her if yer interested.” He said, knowing she would be. Inside were pictures from when Arielle was an
infant all the way up to now. Bath times,
outside, with the various pets she'd had over the years. Life documented in photographs.
Jasina jumped and shook her head, turning around to face him. “I see the
quiet aura about you still hasn't changed.
You still manage to scare me half to death.” She joked, smiling at him,
and looked down at the photo albums. She
picked one up and sat down on the couch, slowly looking up at him when he
didn't move, staring into those green eyes. “Thank you.” So much emotion and
love were in those two words as Jasina turned back to the photo album and
flipped it open, running her fingers down the pictures. “She is so
beautiful...” She whispered, feeling tears well up in her eyes, and blinked
them back. How she could walk out on her
beautiful daughter, her family, and especially the man sitting next to her
Jasina would never understand.
Mark moved next to her, looking down at the pictures as well, it had been
so long since he'd gone through these. “That's when she was two months. All the hair on the left side of her head
rubbed off cause that was the only side she'd sleep on, her head always had to
be facing left.” He remembered that, shaking his head. Arielle had had a beautiful full head of
hair...with a bald patch.
“Just like me.” She whispered thoughtfully. Jasina always had to be facing left when she
slept, ever since she was little, and noticed that when her daughter came to
see her in Austin. The more pictures
they flipped through, the more Jasina learned as Mark quietly told her what
each picture meant. He snapped more than
one of the same moment, which made her smile.
He wanted to capture every moment of Arielle's life and it made her
heart both swell and hurt all at once.
An exquisite pain. “What was her first word?” She asked softly, closing
her eyes when he said 'dada'. Good, she
didn't want it to be anything else and knew Arielle was a daddy's girl through
and through.
“And her second was gimme.” Mark snorted, rolling his eyes. “Then her
first sentence was 'Aww hell', thanks to Steve repeating it so damn often. She said it in my office. Imagine, sitting in the office with a little
angel in a play pen who suddenly screams that cause her blocks knocked over. I had an old woman in there for an oil
change, she walked right on back out.”
Jasina giggled softly when she heard that, shaking her head, and felt Mark
chuckling as well. It was nice that they
could hold a decent conversation and even laugh about their little girl without
him trying to tear her head off. It felt
great, like a big weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. “I'll have to
remember to scold Steve for that later.” She stated when they finally calmed
down, flipping the page again. “She has your attitude, you know.” She smirked
when Mark grumbled, knowing she was right. “And your appetite. She may look like me except the eyes, but the
rest of her is all you.”
“I wonder why.” Mark said instantly, groaning when he seen the expression
on her face and reached out to stop her before she could get up, knowing that
hadn't been a very good thing to say, but...Here was the moment. “Jasina, I'm
sorry, but...honestly, I raised her, is she supposed to be anything else?” He
asked softly, staring at her, refusing to let her up. “Why?” He whispered. “Why
didn't you tell me you had a problem?”
“I was afraid.” She replied, her heart pounding furiously in her
chest. Hadn't the letter said
enough? Why did he want to know why she
hadn't told him? Did he enjoy tormenting
her? “My counselor told me, who is also a very good friend of mine now, that
even if I would've told you, you wouldn't have been able to stop me.” That was
the truth as the tears swelled in her teal eyes. “I should've been honest with
you from the beginning, but I loved you so much that I...I was afraid of losing
you. And I did it anyway. I thought if I told you, you would've
divorced me and taken Arielle away because of her druggie mother...” She had to
look away from him, knowing he wouldn't let her go. “That was my train of thought
at the time and I can't change it. I
wasn't in the right frame of mind, Mark.
I know sorry doesn't cover it, but...goddamn it I'm sorry...I didn't
want you going through it with me, I didn't want to cause you anymore pain than
what I already had. I couldn't do that
to you and Arielle...”
“Your counselor told you I wouldn't have been able to stop you, she's
probably right.” Mark said quietly. “But damn it, Jasina, I could have been
there to help you through it. I wouldn't
have left ya, or taken away Arielle. I
would've been mad as hell and maybe gone away for a few days, but I would've
always come back to ya.”
“That's just it, Mark. I didn't
know that...and I wasn't in the frame of mind.
I wasn't thinking. All I kept
thinking was I have to run. I have to
get away from here and let them live their lives without this poison infecting
them.” The tears were flowing now as Jasina buried her face in her hands, not
caring about showing her emotions anymore. “It took me...a long time afterwards
after I left to get over them Mark. I
didn't stop when I first left here. They
got worse because I was so depressed about leaving that I...I let them
completely consume me. My every thought,
every move, everything...” He wanted to know and she was telling him. “I didn't
know what else to do and I was an absolute coward for it. I should've told you before we even got
married, before we had Arielle. I
should've, but I didn't because I was happy and I thought I could kick my
addiction with you. It didn't happen
though.”
That was a lot to digest. He had
read her letter, he had read it over and over again, but to hear those words
from Jasina herself broke his heart. He
reached onto the coffee table for the box of tissues, holding it mutely out to
her. He didn't know what to say or do
right now.
“Stop crying.” He finally said gruffly, always uncomfortable with tears.
“C'mon, it's over and done now, no point in cryin' about it.” He plucked a
tissue from the box and began gently mopping away her tears, catching her chin
in his hand and tilting her face up.
“I never meant to hurt you...” She whispered, hoping he believed her when
she said that because it was the truth.
Jasina felt his hand on her chin and let him wipe her tears away, trying
to stop them and took several deep breaths before they subsided, having set the
photo album aside when he wanted the explanation. She wanted to reach out and touch him, but
the fear of rejection stopped her from doing so. Still she couldn't stop staring into those
green eyes that had haunted her dreams, her every thought, for the past eleven
years. He was the perfect man, a little
rough around the edges, but all Texans were like that. She remembered when she first met Mark, in
Emerald City, the bar Trish had taken her that day after the barbeque. She was drinking with a few of her friends
when he came over and asked her if they could step outside a minute and
talk. From the moment his voice murmured
in her ear, Jasina was a goner and still had been to this very day.
Mark finally broke the stare himself, getting to his feet. “You're tired,
get up there.” He said, his voice gruff and cleared his throat, eyes narrowing
when she shook her head. “Jasi, I'll carry yer ass up to that bed myself if ya
don't move.” He threatened.
“No, I'm not tired and I want to look at more pictures. I'm not taking over your bed either.” She
stated stubbornly, crossing her arms in front of her chest, her own eyes
narrowed. “You didn't want to take me up on my offer to use my bed, I'm not
taking you up on yours. I'm fine, Mark,
really.” She assured him softly, wishing she had brought her laptop, but then
remembered why she came over here in the first place.
“Look, take the albums with ya. But
you're not sleepin' on the couch.” Mark said firmly, rolling his eyes when she
just shook her head again. A second
later he had scooped Jasina up in his arms and was already on the steps,
ignoring her protests. “Woman, you wake Arielle up and I'll turn you over my
knee.” He growled, tempted too anyway.
He wondered idly if her ass was as firm as it looked, arching an
eyebrow.
“This is not fair.” She grumbled, crossing her arms in front of her chest
while he carried her up the stairs to his room, pouting. “You're not sleeping
on that couch either.” She stated when he set her down, stopping him by
grabbing his arm. “Mark, please...I know you slept on the floor at my
place. Don't make me do the same thing
here.” The room brought back a lot of memories and it smelled the same, causing
a small smile to cross her face. “You are far too big for that damn couch
downstairs.” Was this man out of his mind to actually give up HIS bedroom to
the woman who broke his heart?
Yes, he was out of his damn mind, giving up his bed...No, he wasn't giving
up his bed. “I'm not sleepin' on the couch either. I'm sleepin in my bed.” Mark
announced, a smirk curving his lips when he seen her eyes widen, shrugging.
“You can't sleep on the floor. They're
wood and it'll kill ya come mornin, and my couch is a death trap.”
Chapter 17
Jasina opened and closed her mouth several times, but she couldn't form
any words. All she could do was nod and
scooted over on the side she normally took, biting her bottom lip. This was awkward as hell. He was purposely messing with her that had to
be the only explanation. Jasina wasn't
going to question it though as she stood up, pulling the comforter back and
slid in the bed, leaving her shorts on since this was her ex-husband after all. Though normally, Jasina either slept with a
tank top and panties or a nightgown.
Mark had started sleeping in boxers when Arielle was big enough to run and
crawl into his bed with him. Though she
didn't do that anymore except during thunderstorms when she was woken up by the
thunder. Therefore, he was back to sleeping
in the nude. He hooked his hands in his
jeans, watching her trying not to watch him and inwardly chuckled, this was
actually kind of fun. Slowly, he slid
them down, hearing her exhale, guessing she'd noticed the black boxers and
snorted, crawling into the bed.
The bed was huge, though there was a slight problem. Jasina had to sleep on her left side and that
faced Mark. Sighing inwardly, Jasina got
comfortable, and closed her eyes, her hands tucked under the pillow, her hair
fanned out over it and the rest flowing down her back. She wasn't tired, but knew Mark was and
wasn't going to keep him up. He hadn't
brought the photo albums with him anyway.
Jasina couldn't believe she was actually in the same bed as her
ex-husband, wondering when she entered a Twilight Zone.
Mark wasn't comfortable with her facing him, it made him feel like he was
being stared at. Sleeping alone for so
many years had done that to him. He
rolled over so he was staring up at the ceiling, folding his arms beneath his
head. “You're not going to sleep, are ya?” He asked conversationally, already
knowing she wasn't. He didn’t think he
would be either.
“No, but I can try.” She replied softly, her voice barely above a whisper,
and snuggled further into the pillow.
She felt him shift and sighed, slowly opening her eyes and just looked
at him. “You're not tired?” She asked, watching as he shook his head, and bit
her bottom lip. “Then why did you insist on coming up here to go to sleep?”
Jasina was confused and threw the comforter off, beginning to get up so she
could go back downstairs to look at some more pictures or something. She felt restless.
“Because I know if I don't try to sleep I'm going to stay up all damn
night and be a bear in the morning.” He pulled her back down, rolling over and
pinning her beneath him. “Why can't you sleep?
Besides the obvious fact you're uncomfortable here.” Mark stared down at
her, feeling her curvy body pressed against his. He didn't remember her having some of these
curves...being clean had done wonders for her figure.
Having him this close was making her head spin as Jasina tried focusing,
staring into those eyes again. Those
damn eyes. “I'm not uncomfortable, first of all.” She said, loving the feeling
of his rock hard body against hers. It'd
been so long...no, she couldn't think like that! She had to breathe, though his scent was
overtaking her. “I'm restless.” She said in a softer voice, her stomach
tightening slightly and she could feel the desire rushing through her body.
“Why can't you sleep besides the fact that I'm here?”
“It's just the fact that you're here, no other reason.” He said
conversationally, shifting so he wasn't crushing her under his weight.
“Well...that and I'm kinda worried about seeing Arielle in the morning.” He pulled
a face. “I don't know what to do with a girl who's...PMSing it.” Maybe he'd
make chocolate chip pancakes in the morning.
“So THAT'S why you insisted I stayed.” Jasina started laughing softly,
ignoring his grimace, and shook her head.
That desire quickly went away as she patted his shoulder gently,
comfortingly. “Don't worry, Mark. PMS
isn't as bad as it seems. Just have
chocolate and Pamprin for her cramps. I
know she's going to be in a lot of pain because I was when I was her age.”
Jasina shivered, remembering when she would be sent home because her cramps
hurt her so badly. She hoped that wasn't
the case with Arielle.
Besides the obvious male discomfort on this very feminine topic, Mark
wondered if he should be keeping notes. “You know what'll come next? Bra shopping.” He groaned, already picturing
it. Arielle holding up bra after bra
after bra, asking him which one. “Oh dear lord...” He dropped his face, hiding
it in her shoulder. “Shoot me, just shoot me.”
Jasina was giggling harder now and ran her fingers through his hair,
loving the feeling of it as it slid from them gently. “I will be taking her bra
shopping.” She told him, trying to set his mind at ease. “I'm warning you now,
if she's anything like me physically and woman wise, she's going to start
sprouting them before she's thirteen. I
was a size C by the time I was that age.” When his head popped up from her
shoulder, Jasina nodded with a sigh. “Poor girl, she's gonna have her mother's
figure and cup size probably.” She actually grimaced. “Hopefully she won't go
past a D cup. I stopped when I was about
eighteen...”
“Maybe my genes will kick in and she'll be tall enough to support them.”
He grunted, trying not to picture his baby girl, his innocent little angel, his
baby with a pair of… “Damn it, Jasina, knock it off.” He groaned, clamping a
hand over her mouth. “No more, I'm going to go buy a shotgun first thing in the
morning and a chastity belt, they still sell those, right?”
Jasina was laughing hard against his hand as she managed to move his hand
away, the amusement clearly shining in her eyes. “If my mother ever tried that,
I would've shot her.” She stated, raising a slow eyebrow. “You're not putting a
chastity belt on our daughter, Marcus.” She smirked when he growled, knowing
how much he loathed his full name. “You can buy a shotgun, though if you shoot
one of the boys she'll bring home, I'm going to have to hurt you.”
Technically, he could do whatever he wanted too and there wasn't a damn
thing Jasina could do about it, but he didn't feel mean enough to point that
out. “I'll be shootin' Gary first.” He said thoughtfully. “Gary is the boy that
hangs out with her and Toni, the boy who apparently thinks wearin' bells on his
boxers is a fashion trend.” He was STILL wondering just how Arielle knew that
tidbit, deciding he and Gary would be having a chat soon.
“You're being overprotective.” She pointed out, shaking her head, knowing
she wouldn't be able to change his mind.
She knew cooler heads would prevail and Mark would see that he would be
pushing his daughter away if he chased away all of her friends that were
male. She decided not to point that out
though or the fact that Arielle had to grow up sometime. That's the last thing he needed to hear as
she simply laid there, letting him rant and rave, finding it both cute and
amusing.
His mind strayed off his daughter and onto the mother, literally. Now that he was paying attention to the woman
underneath him, those curves were beginning to walk back into his train of
thought. “Sleeping in your clothes...Do you want a shirt or something? This way they'll be fresh in the morning.” He
almost said something along the lines of 'sleeping in that bra can't be
comfortable, let them swing free', but...that wouldn't have gone over well all
things considered.
“I didn't want to impose.” She softly replied, smiling when he stood up
and walked over, getting her another shirt and tossed it at her. “Thanks.” She
muttered when it landed on top of her head and proceeded to pull it over her
head. She slipped her shorts off while
under the comforter and managed to get her tank top off without showing him
anything, but part of her stomach, smoothing the shirt down. It went to her knees, as always, and felt him
rejoin her in the bed, making sure to keep her legs covered and away from his.
“Thank you.”
“Not a problem.” Mark grunted, laying back down, drawing the covers up to
his chest, flipping onto his stomach.
Then his back, then finally his side.
It was so damn odd to be sharing a bed.
Especially with the one person he never thought he'd want back in his
bed. How funny life could be sometimes.
“Don't you have a boyfriend waiting on you somewhere?” He asked out of the
blue.
That caught her off guard as Jasina laid on her left side, facing him,
wondering how she was supposed to tell him... “There's been no one else, Mark.”
She softly said, deciding the truth was best, and closed her eyes.
Of course he didn't know about the two years of rehab she went through or
the fact that she'd been so hopped up on drugs that she didn't want to destroy
another man's life. She figured saying
all of that might ruin the peace between them and kept it to herself. He would find everything out eventually as
she inhaled the shirt and pillow. It
smelled like him and that made her smile.
“Woman, are you- you're sniffing my pillows?” Mark began laughing, moving
to grab the pillow from underneath her head, sniffing it. “Smells like me.” He
grunted, passing it back to her, arching an eyebrow. “Sorry. Not used to a woman in here I guess. Maybe I should start lighting candles or
something, eh?”
Jasina blushed as she shook her head, snatching the pillow back. “No, I
love your scent.” She stated, her cheeks flaming hot by now and buried her face
in the pillow. ‘I did not just say that!!’ She thought frantically, curling up
with the comforter to hide herself from more embarrassment. Judging by the house, she knew he didn't have
another woman in his life, which is why she didn't ask him. Though then again, he might think of it rude
or conceded if she didn't. “You don't have a woman waiting on you?”
Mark was still chuckling over her confession. Loved his scent? He always thought he smelled like a garage,
but then again, that was him. Women were
weird creatures. Especially this
one. He popped an eye open to see her
hiding under the blankets, reaching out with one hand to pull them off of her,
laughing when she snatched out her hands for them.
“Not that I know of.” He drawled.
He wasn't about to tell her he'd had a few flings, that was none of her
business for one. Two, they never lasted
more than a month and he had never allowed any of them to meet his daughter.
“You asked me, I was just returning the favor.” She informed him,
snatching the blanket back over her before laying down again.
It was really surprising he hadn't found anyone, but then again, she had
broken his heart. Sighing gently, Jasina
closed her eyes, her arm resting on top of the comforter, her legs curled
slightly. She could never lay stretched
out, it drove her crazy. Not to mention
she was in her ex-husband's bed wearing his t-shirt and she was fighting the
urge to pounce on him. She pushed a
strand of hair from her face and rubbed her eyes, letting out a small yawn,
knowing she still wasn't tired. If
anything, her body was alive and on fire, though Mark didn't need to know
that. She would be going through hell
tomorrow at work, that much was certain.
“Okay, enough talkin', we both got to work tomorrow.” Mark also had to
find a way to go to sleep so he'd stop thinking about her, not in the mood for
a cold shower because, honestly, that’s what she was beginning to do to
him. Damn it. So much for happily divorced. “Good night,
Jasi.” Yawning loudly, he rolled over so his back was facing her, grunting and
moved long enough to get rid of the damn boxers, laying back down and sighed
contentedly.
“Night Mark.” She whispered, biting her bottom lip, seeing he had removed his
boxers and, for the first time in her life, Jasina had moved to lay on her
right side. She couldn't stare at his
bare back, see those muscles ripple...she bit into the pillow before bringing
the comforter over her body fully, hoping she would eventually drift off to
sleep. That wasn't likely to happen, but
she could hope.
When she did eventually drift off to sleep, it was long after Mark already
had. He rolled over sometime in the
early morning, groaning softly and tossed his arm around her, pulling her back
against him. Mmm...This dream came with
a warm, soft body. When Jasina woke up,
she was going to find herself trapped under a massive thigh, her back to a
broad chest and a hard-on digging into her back.
Chapter 18
It was hot and Jasina was burning up as she slowly opened her eyes, sweat
beading her body. Who had turned up the
damn heat? She froze when she felt an
arm tighten around her body, swallowing hard, and looked up to see Mark's
sleeping face. How in the hell did she
wind up in THIS position? Not to mention
she could feel...oh dear Christ! This
was her ex-husband and he was...
“Mark...” She tried wiggling out of his arm, but that wasn't
happening. This was awkward as hell as
she bit her bottom lip, finally elbowing him in the gut, like she used to do
when he wouldn't get up. “Mark!”
“Five more minutes, darlin'.” He drawled sleepily, not opening his
eyes. Instead he buried his face in her
hair, inhaling deeply and groaned, sleep making the sound husky. He moved a little, rolling her onto her back,
a large hand skimming her bare thigh under the t-shirt, which somehow had wound
up around her hips.
Jasina's eyes flew open when he did that, though it felt so good. She couldn't succumb to it though, knowing he
was still asleep, and bit her bottom lip as her eyes drifted shut. Oh man, his big hands, she remembered them
vividly. Every part of this man's body
she remembered, but those were exceptional.
No! She couldn't do this and
pushed his hand away, knowing she had to get out of there.
“Mark!” She said a little louder, remembering the morning sex sessions he
used to love. “Mark, get up it's Jasina!”
“Mmmmhmmmm...” He rumbled, moving lazily and pulled her underneath him,
leaning down to kiss her throat, his hand back under the shirt, caressing her
panty covered sex.
When he got hit again, his eyes flew open, pulling back. All he could do was stare down at her, sleep
quickly evaporating. Mark took quick
stock of what position he was in and where his hand was, then noticed...she was
enjoying it. She woke him up, but she
was still pretty wet. He leaned down and
kissed her.
This was wrong, so very wrong, but damned if it wasn't wonderful. Jasina moaned as soon as his lips touched
hers, her heart pounding a furious tattoo in her chest. For a moment, just a moment, remembering how
it used to be. She felt his tongue swipe
across her lips, her hand burying in his auburn tresses as their tongues
entwined together, her entire body shivering at how exquisite it felt. She hadn't been kissed or touched in so long
so her body was incredibly sensitive.
Kissing him was always heaven on earth and this was no exception as she
arched her body into him, completely giving into the desire that coursed through
her body, screaming out for attention from him.
Growling softly, he used his thigh to nudge her legs apart, settling
himself between them, his erection pressing into her, never breaking the kiss.
“Dad, did mom leave, cause I was hoping she could-” Arielle halted in the
doorway, her green eyes widening and her mouth dropping. “What the HELL?”
So much for not breaking that kiss...Mark looked up at his daughter.
“Don't you know how to knock?”
“Uh, no, since when do I have too?”
Jasina was breathing heavily as she shoved Mark off of her, stumbling to
the floor, and popped right back up as she raked a hand through her hair. Her lips were slightly swollen, her hair
tousled, and her shirt was...she quickly pulled it down. This was DEFINITELY awkward, especially with
the conversation that she just had with her daughter the previous afternoon.
“What did you need Arie?” She quickly asked, refusing to look at Mark, her
eyes solely on her daughter. “Your hair?
Got it.” She swiped her clothes from the floor and flew out of there,
shutting the door behind her. That was
her EX-HUSBAND and she almost...Jasina had to learn how to breathe as she
shoved Arielle down the hallway.
“Uh hold up, Mom...” Arielle dug her feet into the floor, refusing to be
pushed away from the scene of the crime. “I'm doing my own hair, I know how.”
She was trying not to grin at her mom's flushed face, her green eyes sparkling
with amusement. “So...he doesn't think of you in that way huh?” She asked,
folding her arms over her chest, arching an eyebrow.
“Arielle...” She groaned, needing to get out of there before Mark got up,
not wanting to face him at the moment. “Look, it's REALLY complicated...” She
said, quickly pulling her shorts up. How
the HELL was she supposed to explain this one? “I am not discussing this with
you.” She finally stated, pulling her tank top on and took the shirt off,
tossing it in the laundry basket that was in the hallway. “Now what did you
need?” She asked promptly, crossing her arms in front of her chest, imitating
her daughter's stance.
“I wanted to know where you were since you weren't on the couch.” Arielle
wasn't bothered in the slightest, just bounced past her mom and flitted back
into her dad's room. “Daddy...”
Mark was in his jeans by now, glancing at her as he pulled a t-shirt over
his head. “Yes, princess?”
“Why don't you make some pancakes and coffee, then we'll have a talk.”
“How bout I make the pancakes and the coffee and we don't have a talk?”
“I have to go Arie.” Jasina called, knowing she was going to be late, and
reluctantly walked back into Mark's room. “I really have to go, I'm going to be
late. Give me a hug.” She stated,
kissing her daughter's head before standing back up, staring back at Mark.
“Umm...see you later?” She walked out and down the stairs, slipping her socks
and shoes on before nearly jetting out to her car, getting in and peeled out of
there. Her lips were still burning as
Jasina felt the tears burn her eyes, her entire body trembling from pure desire,
needing a desperate cold shower. She
grabbed her cell from the passenger seat and dialed Trish's number, swallowing
hard. “I-I'm going to be late. An hour
at the most. Thanks hon.” She hung up
and drove home.
~!~
“So, let me get this straight...you shared a bed with your druggie ex-wife
and then almost fucked her?”
Why was Steve his best friend? And
why did he always confide in the guy? “She's not a druggie anymore, but other
then that yes.”
“So fuck her and get it out of your system. Then you can go back to being Arie's single
parent dad and life will go on.”
Mark threw his screwdriver at Steve.
~!~
“I can't believe what happened...”
Trish had to blink, seeing how badly her friend and co-worker was shaking,
placing her hand on hers for comfort. “Sweetie, it's perfectly natural...”
“No it isn't! He's my ex-husband
and I thought he didn't have feelings for me!” She snapped, then immediately
apologized, biting her bottom lip. “Jesus what am I going to do?”
“Maybe you should have a talk with him.”
“I'd rather shoot myself in the damn skull than do that, Trish.”
~!~
“Ouch!” Steve wailed, getting hit with his third screwdriver of the day.
“What'd I say this time?”
“Nothing.” Mark grunted from under a truck. “You just annoyed me by being
there.”
“Look, do you still love her?”
“It's complicated.”
“Oh, but waking her up for some early morning delight ain't?”
“Sex is different.”
“Not when it's with the former love of your life, moron!”
“Arie will be here soon, you mind dropping it?” Mark growled, regretting
ever telling Steve about what had happened. “I think Trish has gotten to you,
you're talking like doctor fucking Ruth.”
“Well...when you come in here needin' laid and I'm the only option, I feel
the need to speak up and save my ass.
Literally.”
“You best call Trish and let her know she's about to be a single mother.”
~!~
“Maybe I should pretend it never happened.” Jasina reasoned, raking a hand
through her hair.
“You know damn well Arie isn't going to let it go, Jas.” Trish reasoned,
sighing as she looked up at the clock. “I say you should talk to him.”
“Oh and what do I say huh? Mark, I
love you with all my heart and I want you back?” Jasina snorted, rolling her
eyes, though that was the truth. “I don't see that going too well, Trish, do
you?”
“Does he still love you?”
“I don't know.”
~!~
Later on that day, Jasina left the Houston Journal and walked to the
parking garage, wearing a pink and gray skirt suit, black pumps on her feet
that matched her purse. She was still so
confused about what happened between her and Mark, knowing she would eventually
have to face him. Groaning, Jasina slid
in her car and turned the ignition, pulling out of there and headed to her
penthouse. She had some serious thinking
to do.
Jasina decided she wasn't going to mention what happened between her and
Mark until he did. Not that she hadn't
enjoyed. She could still feel his hands
on her...Jasina groaned, turning the air conditioner on, and wondered briefly
if HER period was on the way. No, she
just got over it a few days prior, which was why she had those extra pads in
her car. These weren't hormones, this
was her body SCREAMING at her to have sex.
It wasn't happening as she walked over and took an ice cube out of the
freezer, rubbing it around her neck, her hair up in a clip to keep off of her
neck. Time for a haircut definitely.
~!~
Mark would take Steve back over Arielle in a heartbeat. He was trying to get supper around while she
did her school work at the table, or was supposed to be. She was barraging him with a shitload of
questions.
“Arie, schoolwork.” He ordered, tossing a dish towel over his shoulder.
“Are you and mom getting back together?”
“Not that I'm aware of.”
“Why not? You have to make an
honest woman of her.”
“Have you and Toni been sneakin' Lashonna's books again?”
~!~
The next Saturday, Arielle was at her mom's knocking brightly on the
door. She had gotten permission from her
dad who had then asked Lashonna to drop her off. When Jasina opened the door, she walked right
in, dropping her bag on the floor.
“Dad said if you didn't mind, I could spend the night with you.” She
didn't add he was currently giving her what she wanted on a lot of things just
to shut her up.
“Well, I'm always happy that you're here.” Jasina smiled down at her,
hugging her before kissing the top of her head.
Jasina had gotten a queen sized bed for her guest room and made it
Arielle's. She painted the walls a deep
blue that went well with the beige carpeting. “Your father DOES know you're
here right?” When she nodded and explained Lashonna had brought her over,
Jasina physically relaxed. “Good. I was
getting ready to make dinner, do you want to help?” She grinned as Arielle
bounced into the kitchen, after putting her bag in her room.
“So, what are we making?” Arielle asked eagerly, washing her hands
thoroughly in the sink before drying them off, looking around the kitchen
curiously. She always loved her mom's
kitchen. It had a lot of things in it
that made cooking easier, like an electric mixer for example. She hadn't been able to talk her dad into
buying one yet. “So...you and dad talk yet?” She asked innocently.
“No we haven't and we're probably not going too.” Jasina stated evenly, letting
her daughter know right off the bat that topic was barred from discussion. “I
was thinking about making some stuffed shells.
It's Italian and really good.
What do you think?” She grinned when Arielle nodded eagerly before
walking over to grab the ricotta cheese out of the fridge along with a few
other ingredients they would need. She
needed a distraction and cooking along with her daughter would do the trick.
Chapter 19
“You sure Trish gave you the okay to be here?” Mark teased when Steve
showed up, Harry already in the kitchen with the beer, ready for a game of
poker.
“As far as I know, she's planning on going over to Jas's tonight with
Lashonna.”
“As long as the women aren't in our hair, who cares?”
“Arie is there.”
“Well, then her and Trish will be driving her insane because Trish told
me- Oh wait, I'm not allowed to tell YOU.”
~!~
Jasina had just finished stuffing the final shell when a knock sounded at
her door, causing her eyebrow to raise. “Will you get that sweetheart?” She
asked, going to wash her hands since they were full of cheese, smiling when she
heard Trish's bubbly voice along with Little Steven's cries and Lashonna with
Toni. She smiled and walked out of her
kitchen, drying her hands off, and hugged Trish before taking the little man in
her arms. “How's my godson?” She quipped with a grin. “What are you all doing
here?”
“Harry and Steve are with Mark tonight for a guy's night only so...”
Lashonna rolled her eyes dramatically, her teeth shockingly white against her
dark skin. “We thought we'd come- Toni, don't touch the radio.”
Trish smirked, shaking out her hair. “Besides, we figured you could use
the company. Arielle, you and I have
some digging to do sweetheart.” She looked pointedly at Jasina.
“Trust me, I know.”
“I am not talking about that.” Jasina stated defiantly, crossing her arms
in front of her chest. “You told Lashonna?”
“Honey, it's not like it's a big secret.
Steve and Harry know.”
Jasina was going to KILL Mark! What
the hell gave him the right to talk about what happened between them with other
people? “Is that right?” She finally said through gritted teeth.
“Whoa Arie, look how red your mom is!” Toni crowed, both girls giggling.
This was going to be a LONG night.
“Jasina, we know.” Trish gestured to herself and Lashonna. “You really
think the guys aren't going to gossip, they're just as bad as we are.”
Arielle nudged Toni with a grin. “Mom and Dad were uh...”
“Storking it up?”
“Yeah that!” Arielle giggled, Mark having had a word with Lashonna about
that.
Trish was trying not to giggle now.
Jasina groaned more before walking into the kitchen, shaking her head and
popped the shells in the oven.
“So...spill girl! We want details!”
“This really isn't an appropriate time to-”
The girls were in Arielle's room playing with toys and talking.
“You were saying?”
“Look, he was sleepy and didn't realize it was me...” Okay that was a lie,
but damn it, she had to say something to get them off of her back. “He probably
isn't even talking about it anymore. He
probably wished it never happened and I don't blame him.”
“Oh yeah sure, he was only trying to get some with a figment of his
imagination. According to Steve, Mark
woke up and knew EXACTLY who he was trying to get jiggy with.”
“Excuse me?” Lashonna began laughing, shaking her head.
“You know what I mean.”
Mark was going to die; Jasina was going to murder him in his SLEEP for
this! “He actually said that?” She
turned beat red and slammed the utensil in the sink, the anger radiating off of
her in waves. “I didn't realize this was a big fucking game to him.” She spat,
suddenly pissed beyond belief, wanting to ring his thick neck and beat his
skull in! “Look, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm so pissed right now.” It took a lot to
spark anger in Jasina and right now, she was LIVID.
Lashonna and Trish exchanged looks, both folding their arms over their
chests. Lashonna and Trish were polar
opposites of each other so when they had been introduced through Steve, and hit
it off, it was been a bit surprising.
“Look, you told ME what happened, most of it. You can't go getting pissed off just because
HE did too.”
“She's right, Jas.”
Trish had a point and she hated her for it at that moment. “Look, I love
him, but I'm also not going to beg him to come back to me or whatever. What happened between us was...it was nothing
actually. It felt great don't get me
wrong. I haven't had sex in over eleven
years...” She seen their eyes widen and held her hand up. “Drugs don't exactly
stimulate the body and I wasn't in the right frame of mind.” She sighed, the
anger diminishing from her body. “I don't know what to do.” She whispered,
pressing her fingers against her forehead, tapping it gently.
“Uh hello, you go right up to him, kiss him breathless then let him do the
rest.”
“Which means you'll need a weekend babysitter for Arie and a lot of
condoms.”
“Or you need to get a Mirena, that's what I'm using.”
“How long do they last?”
“Five years I think.”
“No, I am not going up to him and doing that. No, absolutely not. He doesn't want me. He may THINK he does, but I broke his heart
and hurt him! I ran away from him, you
guys.” She groaned, this was so confusing and not to mention frustrating as
hell as she walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, crossing one
leg over the other. Jasina couldn't stop
thinking about Mark, his strong hands, that muscular body, and his lips...dear god.
“See, I wrote him a letter before I left to move to Austin and I TOLD him that
I loved him. That I still do. So what makes you think he wants more from me
than just sex?”
“Oh well, we didn't say he wanted you for more then sex.” Trish said
bluntly, seeing Jasina's face fall. “Honey, look, I didn't mean it the way it
came out. From what Steve would tell
me-” And it wasn't too much because apparently his life had been threatened,
something about screwdrivers. “Mark is a bit confused about all this himself.”
“You two need to be adults, sit down and talk about this.”
“Or we could just pretend like it never happened.” Jasina retorted evenly,
refusing to get her heart broken.
Granted, she deserved it. She
deserved the pain of getting a slice of heaven while the rest of her life was
miserable hell. But...Jasina had made a
mistake, several, but she had atoned for them and it was time to move on. “I'll
talk about it if he brings it up.” She stated finally before walking into the
kitchen, seeing her shells were done and smiled. “Who's hungry?”
~!~
“So are you ever going to mention it to her?” Harry asked curiously,
trying to understand why the hell he was losing so much money and if Lashonna
would kill him for cutting a check.
Mark knew why the man was losing money; it was because he couldn't shut
up. Steve was about broke too. “Not
until she says something to me first.”
“Cold day in hell. Damn it Mark!”
Steve snapped when Mark threw down his cards. “You're cheating!”
“You know how women are. They won't
make the first move, man.” Harry sighed, knowing this was pointless in arguing
with him. “Do you love her?”
“Don't bother, I already tried.” Steve grunted, popping the top on another
beer. “If ya ask me, ya two should fuck THEN see ya feel.” He ducked when a
beer can was chucked at his head. “What'd I say?”
“When you two are done?”
“Hey, get us another beer, Mark.
It's the least you could do since we're both almost broke.”
“Your girlfriend can foot the bill, she's rich.”
“When are you going to marry Trish?”
“HEY, we're talking about MARK, not me.”
“The man is a chickenshit, we've established that.” Harry smirked when
Mark growled, raising an eyebrow as if to contradict him. “Now when are you
tyin' the knot with that beautiful blonde?”
“Son, if yer wife heard ya talkin' bout that to another woman...”
“Hell, Lashonna agrees with me that Trish is beautiful, but nobody takes
my wife's place. Just marry her
already.”
Steve grunted. “I'll think it over...”
“Trish is probably already planning the wedding. The minute he works up the balls to ask,
she'll have him down the aisle.” Mark smirked, setting down the beer, dropping
back into his chair and picked up his cards.
“Hey, at least I- Never mind...you've already been married.”
“And divorced.”
“Hey, SHE left ME. I'm not chasin'
her.”
“Unless it's in the bedroom?”
“Yeah, I wouldn't bother with her man.
Just let her go. She's baggage.”
Harry stated as he looked at his cards, sipping his beer. “What?”
“That's really low to say.”
“She's an ex-druggie who RAN away from her family. I'm biased when it comes to Mark and he
shouldn't have to chase her. He's
right.”
Steve knew he had a point and shut up.
~!~
The girls were in bed, Stevie JR was asleep for the night and the women
were all enjoying a glass of wine. “I think I want another baby.” Trish mused
thoughtfully.
“No you don't. It's easy to find a
babysitter for one, try four.”
“Yeah, but yours are all in their teens, except Toni.”
“Hmmmm...”
“Motherhood suits you.” Jasina smiled as she sipped her wine, having not
drank since rehab, though she figured one glass wouldn't hurt.
One glass turned into sharing the whole bottle with Trish and
Lashonna. They had to sleep over so
while Trish and Lashonna took her bed, Jasina took the couch. She couldn't sleep though. What was she supposed to do? Risk asking Mark and get her heart broken? What if he wanted sex and nothing more? Jasina didn't even want to think about it as
she turned on her side, eventually falling asleep.
Arielle answered the door the next morning, smiling when she seen her dad.
“Is the weekend over?”
“No, but you forgot your school bag.” He held it up, wearing a pair of
sunglasses to hide the fact he was hung over.
Steve and Harry were still passed out in his living room.
“Everyone's asleep, but me and Toni.” She said, holding up a finger for
silence, pointing to the bottle of wine, the very empty bottle, on the coffee
table.
Jasina bolted upright on the couch, breathing heavily, her eyes wide and focused
her vision before landing on her daughter and...Mark. Oh god. “What time is it?” She whispered,
groaning as she stumbled off the couch, wearing a lavender colored
nightgown. She didn't want to think
about the dream that had woken her up, not to mention she heard her daughter
answer the door. Jasina was a light
sleeper. “Oh god my head...” She grumbled, popping two aspirin and downed them
with water.
“Hard night?” He joked, rubbing the back of his neck.
Arielle decided now would be a great time to let them have a private
moment, vacating back to the guest room.
Reluctantly, Mark shut the door behind him, knowing it'd be rude to just
walk out. “You okay with keepin' her till Monday morning?” He asked quietly.
“Yeah, that's fine.” She replied softly, cracking a smile, and wondered
what would happen if she mentioned what happened between them. Damn it she had to stop being stubborn and
just suck it up! That was easier said
than done though as she raked a hand through her hair, feeling very awkward at
the moment. “We need to talk.” She finally said, staring at him through the
sunglasses. “Not right now obviously, but...when would be a good time
to...talk?” She asked finally, rubbing her temples with her fingers.
“Um...” Mark knew exactly what she wanted to talk about, raking a hand
through his hair then smirked, deciding to toy with her a little bit since she
was obviously as flustered about this as he was. “Talk about what exactly?” He
asked innocently, the wickedness in his green eyes hidden by his sunglasses.
“The bedroom incident you jackass!” Lashonna shouted from the bedroom
where she and Trish were listening, the door open now.
He buried his face in a hand, shaking his head.
“I'm going to KILL you both! Trish,
I'm taking Little Stevie!” She called over her shoulder, hearing both women
laughing their asses off and felt her cheeks flush red, wanting to hit them
THEN Mark. He knew damn well what she
wanted to talk about, the jackass!
Lashonna had been right calling him that. “Never mind Mark.” She was too
humiliated right now as she poured herself a cup of coffee, shaking her head.
“If you wanted to talk about it...” Mark trailed off, frowning when he
heard Trish go ‘yes’ and walked back into the bedroom, glaring at them. “You
both need to shut the hell up.”
“Or what?”
“I won't tell you how much money your men wound up losing to me.”