@FW KAOS - 11/14/01
The @FW-Tron fires up as
"Sexy Boy" plays, indicating the arrival of One Man Boy Band alongside
his new manager, Britney Biggums of EWF. The crowd boos the pair as they walk
down the ramp and enter the ring. Each is wearing a headset.
Britney Biggums: No wonder O.M.B.B. has so much trouble getting his solo
career off the ground! With such an unreceptive audience of slack-jawed, upstate
Yellow-Men, how could his talent, his artistic skills, be appreciated?
The crowd boos loudly at this attack on their beloved Orangemen.
One Man Boy Band: Word! But I'm a nice guy, and I won't hold the fact
that you're all from Syracuse against you! In fact, I thought I'd give you
all...a FEW lines...from my latest single, "I Dig U Alot"!
Yamashiro: Oh no! I've heard Yamashiro sing before, and I've heard
scratching chalkboards that sounded nicer!
Communist: Ya, dog, you earned your tag, cuz you be "Foreva Illen!"
The background music for "I Dig You Alot" plays in the background,
and One Man Boy Band is about to sing, when "The Best Things" by
Filter, takes its place as Commissioner Fyre Rei Cage comes down in a black and
white tank top that says "ref" across...well, you know where.
Fyre: Hey! You! Off key Jackass! News Flash: This is NOT Star Search! So
stop trying to shill yourself and get yourselves ready, because here come Rox
and Tess!
"Brakkish" by Kittie hits as Tess and Rox surf down the ramp, each
in a shopping cart full of hardcore goodies, looking to get this match started!
Intergender Hardcore Tag Team Match
Rox and Tess versus Britney Biggums and One Man Boy Band
Rox pulls a stop sign out of his shopping cart and plants it into the head of One Man Boy Band. OMBB falls as Rox continues the onslaught with the stop sign until Britney Biggums takes the Stop Sign away. Rox smiles as he sees Tess sneak behind Britney and smack him in the back of the head with her kendo stick. OMBB rolls out of the ring. Rox pursues. OMBB walks up to Rox's shopping card and takes out a trash can lid. OMBB tosses it to Britney and Brintey uses it as a shield against Tess's flurry of kendo stick shots. Rox catches up to OMBB and clotehslines him into a trash can in his cart. Rox backs the card halfway up the ramp with OMBB struggling to get out, then charges it into the ring! OMBB flies out of the trash can and lands, dazed, in the middle of the ring and under Tess!
Britney takes this opportunity to climb out of the ring. Referee Fyre yells at her to come back and then follows. Tess, after breaking her kendo stick over OMBB's head, follows as well. Britney walks towards Tess' shopping cart and is about to grab a kendo stick of her own, when see sees Rox charging at her with his shopping cart! While charging, Rox tosses Tess a bag! Rox is about to hit Britney when OMBB leaps over the top rope and hits Rox with Sweet Chin Music! OMBB goes for the pin, but Rox kicks out!
OMBB goes to the shopping cart for weapons of his own, and Britney throws him an aluminum baseball bat! OMBB charges back to where Rox lay, and brings the bat down on Rox's shin! Rox screams in pain. OMBB brings the bat up again, but Tess takes it out of OMBB's hands! OMBB turns around to yell, but he gets scratched across the face! Tess lifts up the bag to show an opened case of sharpened press-on nails. Britney tackles Tess down and rams her head into the floor repeatedly! Rox grabs Britney by the hair, and pulls her off and into--The Anarchy Strangler! OMBB tries to pry him off, but Fyre bulldogs him into the steep steps! Tess scrambles onto him for the pin, and Fyre makes the quick three count!
Rox and Tess defeat Britney Biggums and One Man Boy Band after Tess pins One Man Boy Band
