You know the drill. Dont take anything to heart, personally, etc. etc. etc. Really people, it shouldent even be said, I mean, taking any of the shit to heart either means you got heart problems or you just ate too much spicey foods. In that case, take some tum-tah-tum-tah-tums!

[The camera opens up in the same metal jungle we always seem to open up in a few days from whatever event just happens to have it's self circled on the calendar. Today's event of the week happens to be the same the weekly LSW event of TRTN. On the card this week we've got the New Generation, Allen Rage and Chris Cortez, vs. RuinNation, Pariah and Penance.

Within this metal jungle, are the hunters and predators which live within it, the muscled men and woman from around town. They raise the lower the heavy bars of metal, hitting them together, making loud clanking noises. The sounds echo around this jungle, as the sweat drips, and the health and sports drinks and consumed. Within this jungle, far away, in a corner, we find, as always, the one, the only, "One Man Boyband" Chris Cortez along with his manager Syd.

As Syd cheers and eggs Chris Cortez on, who is benching some weight, behind him sits his World Heavyweight Title, and newly won Wrestler of the Year Award, glistening on a bench.]

Syd: 98...99...100! Ok, take a rest for about 10 minutes, then we'll do some more. Looks like the cameraman is here right on schedule for a little 10 minute promo, eh?

[Chris Cortez looks up into the camera, rolls his eyes, and sighs, as he gets up and sits on the bench]

Chris Cortez: As usual.

[Syd hands Chris Cortez a towel and a bottle of water, which he takes, and drinks it down, using the towel to wipe off sweat from his forehead.]

Chris Cortez: Well, where should I start? Well, the obvious answer would be to talk about the TRTN coming up, but no, Im going to talk first about last week's TRTN, among other things, first off. Now, as we all saw, the UWA is growing in size. With Morglum X joining, Vega getting kicked out, and Mordrid and company joining up, its like some sort of bad reality show. People getting kicked on, people getting kicked off, and weird twists and turns out of no where that make not one ounce of sense.

Actually, in a way, the whole UWA thing is more like the nWo. I mean, Mordrid is like Eric Bicshoff. An egotistical staff member who holds power and for some unknown and non-making sense reasons, he joins the nWo, just so he can be apart of this supposed to be "hip, cool, and popular" stable. Get in on the action, you know? I mean, hey, it doesn't have to make sense, right?! Yeah, whatever.

Then there's the whole wolf pac symbol, the non making sense members joining and leaving out of nowhere, and the group straying away from its original mission. Remember how it was all about the old guys getting respect they deserve? Jeesh, what's some of the young people doing in there now? I mean, the UWA, or the uWa, is just floating around, staying around, like a stale stench in the air. Much like the nWo. Its been here long enough, and its already getting old, much like most of their members. God help us if this angle lasts for 6 years like the nWo did.

Speaking of the uWa, lets speak of it's "leader", lets speak of Killjoy. Much like the leader of the nWo, Hulk Hogan, Killjoy needs to really learn that he has overstayed his welcome. That he is no longer "the man". His old man stench has just fouled up this federation long enough. The man is a living joke with him still believing he is something these days, because he isn't. He might HAVE BEEN the World Heavyweight Champion and the Wrestler of the Year, LAST YEAR, but, like I said, that was LAST YEAR. THAT was THEN, this, THIS is NOW.

Killjoy, you ARE the past of this federation, hell, your a figure head for it, and that's all you will ever be! ME? I, AM, the future of this federation! My flag flies high in the wind for this ship, as it set sails, into the unknown of the future! Like I said, you are Hulk Hogan, so I guess you could say, I am The Rock; and our match will be just like theirs at Wrestlemania. LSW's Past vs. LSW's Future! To find out just who is, and always will be, the best, of the best! It's words like that which sell tickets, isn't it? Heh.

[Chris Cortez takes a drink from another bottle of water]

But Killjoy, I degrees, as I have a lot more to talk about than you and the uWa right now. I mean, Im sure plenty of people are sick as it is to hear me talk about you guys all day long anywas. They will still get plenty of it the week leading up to the PPV, believe me, but at least they wont hear anymore about it after our match. Until then, I've got other things to worry about in which I need to address. Such as my match on TRTN against the likes of RuinNation, Pariah and Penance, the current LSW Tag Team Champions.

Well, RuinNation, how's it feel to be the Tag Team Champions? Further more, how does it feel, to be nothing more but Mordrid's little lap dogs? Doing whatever master says. Roll over. Fetch. Play dead. 2 Minute Drill. 3 Minute Warning. 4 Minute Adult Swim. How does it feel? Feels good doesn't it? I bet it does. I bet it feels good to be the tag team champions, to be a bunch of little corporate dogs, and to do whatever eva massa says, isn't it? Well, as good as that feels, what comes TRTN, wont exactly feel all that good. For what comes TRTN, what your going to feel, is nothing but the bitter taste, of REVENGE.

You see, you little corporate dogs, you little bastards turned your backs on the likes of me, Allen Rage, and the rest of the New Generation some time ago. You little bastards sold your souls to the devil, for what? Just to get yourselves some of the action? Just to get yourselves a free ride to the top? Just so you could hold the Tag Team Titles? Well, the rides over gentleman, our match, at TRTN, its the last stop on your little Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. Well, in this case, Mr. Mordrid's Wild Ride. You see Mordrid, I know you got something up your sleeve for this match, I can just taste it.

I mean, why else would you join up with the uWa? You just want to throw all kinda of shit in my direction lead up to the PPV, just to soften me up for Killjoy, at the PPV, right? Just to get the damn belt out of my hands, correct? Well, Im not going to give up this belt, this belt, Ive actually worked so damn hard to get, just to have some slimeball like you misuse his powers and steal it away from me cheaply! Ah-no! No fucking way! You want this belt off of me? You want it away from me? The only one you will get this belt from me is prying it from my cold dead hands!

[Chris Cortez takes another swig of water]

Syd: What about Dissident?

Chris Cortez: Who?

Syd: You know, Dissident, the guy in the wheelchair, who threatened you on TRTN

Chris Cortez: Wait, I thought that was Jason Stryker? Or is it Jayson Stryker? Er, Jason Striker?

Syd: It is, but, its also Dissident, you know, with the name change and all?

Chris Cortez: Ah, right, of course, the NAME CHANGE. Thinking that changing the name, changes the man; body and mind wise. Jeesh, seems like thats the new rage going on amongst the old LSW guys. Thinking that they can become younger and stronger, and go back to thier old days, be changing thier names. It didnt work for Killjoy, and it wont work for Goldman, thinking that by changing his name from Goldman to the "Hardcore Rage" Chris Cage, he's now bigger, badder, and stronger than before?! Bull shit!

I don't care what in the hell you call yourself, your still the same man underneath it all, and Goldman is still nothing but a big fat fucking joke! Same goes for our buddy Dissident. The man who calls himself the most "Genetically J-J-J-Jacked Man on the Planet". What the hell is wrong, Diss? Got a s-s-s-stuttering p-p-p-p-problem or s-s-s-something? Or is that just one of the side effects of taking steroids these days?

You see, Dissident, Jason Stryker, whoever the fuck you are this week, you will never, EVER, be what I am! You can change your name to any name your little heart desires, but it wont matter in the end, not at all! You can be Dissident, you can be Jason Stryker, hell, you can even call yourself Hulk fucking Hogan! It doesn't matter! The only thing that matters is that no matter what name you go by, I will always be better than you, PERIOD!

You walk around and-oh, sorry, you ROLL around, in your little wheelchair, you fucking old man, claiming that you've been around longer, so in turn, you deserve my belt, wha-wha-whaaaa! Oh, shutup, old man! Quit crying like such a pathetic little baby! What exactly have you done in your long stay here, that's actually WORTH one mention, of my time? As far as Im concerned? THERE IS NOTHING! I mean, lemme ask you something...

In your first 6 months of being in this federation did you become one half of the Tag Team Champions? No? Oh wait, right, that's right, you have NEVER BEEN a Tag Team Champion! Well, what about becoming a Whatchamcallit Champion? Oh, you have, have you? Well, how did you lose yours? You lost to Jake fucking Briggs?! Man, that's PATHETIC! Well, what about the World Title? Oh, right, right, you've never won it, of course! Well, what about becoming the Wrestler of the Year? NEVER?! Man, what have you won 'sides the Whatchamacallit Title? The Extreme Title? How long did you hang on to that? Barely a week? My, my, you ARE pathetic!

You see Diss, the stats don't lie, I AM indeed better than you! I did so much in the first 6 months of my career here in LSW than you have in the whole time you've been here! Which, Ill remind you, is an on-and-off affair. Ive been in this fed, day after day, week after week, sense the first day I stepped in here. You? You leave and come back out of nowhere so much, that I hardly know if you even really work here anymore, I mean, c'mon! In your last promo It said "All Star Wrestling", not "Lost Soul Wrestling", man, already planning your jump to another fed if things dont go your way again? PAH-LEASE!

I mean, you whine, and you bitch, saying "wha, wha, Ive been held down, management doesn't like me, wha, wha, wha!". Buck up, bucko! Open your fucking eyes and see the damn truth right in front of your fucking face! You are NOTHING! Stop blaming others for your pathetic life and the so called "downfall" of your career! It isn't management who is holding you down, or ruining your career, its you! You cant see that you are nothing anymore! That you never will be anything! For, I, am everything! You? Your nothing!

You walk around using your seniority like a fucking handicap, much like that wheelchair, you roll around in. You complain that since you have been here longer, you deserve more, than the likes of me. The fact of the matter is that you don't! Cuz, the fact is this: Ive been here over 6 months, non stop. Now, when was the last time you were here for that many months, in a row? If there is anyone who should have seniority over someone else, its me over you, cuz your nothing but a hypocrite!

I mean, just cuz you were here from the beginning, you think that you fucking own the place!? That you can waltz in here, anytime, any place, and go right back to the top of the card, like the old days? You think you can use that as a handicap for the fact that your nothing? Nothing but a no talented piece of shit? Well, to bad, because you cant! Im not buying it, and Im pretty sure, no one else is fucking buying it either!

You tell me that my time is up? That my time is coming to an end? No. Its the other way around Dissident. You see, once again, your time is coming up, your time, its coming to an end. If you wanna mess with me, than your wanting to mess with the best, because I am better than all the rest! You will know that, just as everyone else has, as you lose horribly to me! You will lose horribly because up against me, up against such a true talented super mega star such as myself, a little no-talented old-man piece of shit like you, doesn't stand one chance in hell!

If you wanna mess with me, I will just go and prove to the world that you are simply, nothing! I will go prove to the world that your time is once again up! In the end though, none of this will really matter, will it Diss? Cuz, we all know how it'll end. You bitch. You moan. You complain. Making up conspiracy theories to cover up how pathetic you really are. Then you will leave. Then in a couple of weeks to a month, your'll be back, rinsing and repeating it all over again.

You see, your nothing but just another old man cockroach. I step on it, I take it down, but it just keeps coming back, more pathetic than the last time. Never getting the hint. Never understanding. Never realizing that their time is up, their time is over, and my time, its now, and it always will be my time, forever! Why? Because they, much like you, are NOTHING and I, as always, am EVERYTHING!

[Chris Cortez angerly looks at the camera, as he gets up, lays down, and goes back to pumping iron. Syd cheers him on and counts for him as the sceen fades out to black.]