30MC SPANKSGIVING - 11/24/01
[Returning to the
ring, the camera finds a lone Chris Cortez inside the ring. Adjusting his
headset, he points out at the crowd.]
Chris Cortez: I’m Chris Cortez ... here to entertain you!
[The lights dim as Cortex drops to a knee as bubblegum music plays over the PA
system. Popping back to his feet, Cortez bows his head until the lights flicker
several times before coming back on. Looking upwards, he throws his arms out
from his sides before clapping them together and doing a little dancestep.]
Chris Cortez: A! E! I! Oh, love, U, Girl!
[Spinning, Cortez starts clapping his hands.]
Chris Cortez: Come on everyone, clap along! A! E! I! Oh, love, U, Girl!
[Dancing, Cortez’ lips keep moving but no sound comes out as the music
abruptly goes dead over the PA. Stopping, he taps his mouthpiece as a cheer goes
up when Billy Blaze steps out from the back, making his way towards the ring.
Rolling in, Billy comes to his feet, spinning the shorter Cortez around.]
Howard Butz: Thank goodness that’s over. Thank Billy Blaze with his timely
entrance.
Dillon Diamond: You didn’t like that? A! E! I! Oh, love, U, Girl! It’s got a
catchy sound. I like it and can’t wait for it to hit the stores.
Howard Butz: Oh please.
Jake Morgan: This is just great.
Howard Butz: Don't tell me, you liked that music, too?
Jake Morgan: Don’t be silly. We’ve got two wrestlers inside that ring ready
to go and no referee. One guess who the official in this one is.
Howard Butz: Vic?
Vic Parker: No comment.
Jake Morgan: I bet he’s out back having himself a little something to wet his
whistle.
Dillon Diamond: You don’t say? You Howard has a little problem of his own.
Gambling.
Howard Butz: Not this again. For the last time, I DON’T HAVE A GAMBLING
PROBLEM!
Dillon Diamond: The first step to recovery is admitting the problem.
Howard Butz: Here comes Orly Diaz and Harry Palmer.
[Sliding into the ring, Diaz calls for the bell.]
BILLY BLAZE versus HARRY PALMER
CHRIS CORTEZ
*** Ding *** Ding
***
The face to face escalates with the bell as Blaze hammers Cortez with right
hands into the corner. Hitting away, he’s open to a running knee to the back
from Harry Palmer. Pulling Billy away, Palmer sends him off into the far corner.
Following after him, Palmer eats turnbuckle as Billy spins out of the way at the
last second. Following right behind, Cortez charges forward, nailing Blaze with
a drop kick to the back, slamming him into Palmer and getting two for the price
of one.
Howard Butz: Cortez removing his headpiece.
Tossing Billy aside, Cortez throws Palmer out of the corner with a monkey flip.
Returning to his feet with a smile, Cortez turns right into a solid clothesline.
Vic Parker: OUCH!
Dillon Diamond: I hope he didn’t loosen any of Chris’ teeth. Those are vital
for his singing career.
Howard Butz: Singing career? I think he better concentrate on the matters at
hand. Right, Jake?
Jake Morgan: Don’t provoke me, Butz. You wouldn’t like it if I got mad.
A body slam and leg drop are followed by Blaze climbing the corner. Getting
ready to fly off, Billy’s plans are dashed as Palmer bounces off the ropes
causing Billy to lose his balance and crotch himself before falling to the mat
bringing a groan from the fans. Shooting forward, Palmer hits Cortez with an
elbow drop. Hooking a leg, he rolls up Cortez.
Howard Butz: Elbow drop. PALMER WITH THE PIN! ONE! TWO! THR ... NO! CORTEZ WITH
THE SHOULDER UP!
Jumping to his feet, Palmer adjusts his glasses before throwing his arms into
the air.
Howard Butz: I think he believes he won.
Jake Morgan: You don’t say.
Howard Butz: Yes, I did say.
With Diaz throwing Palmer’s arms down, Cortez spins him around, taking him
down with a double leg. Ducking just in time, Cortez just barely misses having
his head taken off by a Blaze clothesline. With Billy going on across the ring
and bouncing back, Cortez falls back with Palmer’s legs in his grasp. Hitting
the mat, he slingshots Palmer back ... right into the oncoming Billy Blaze.
Howard Butz: HARRY PALMER SLAMS RIGHT INTO BILLY BLAZE!
Vic Parker: That’s an Excedrin headache.
The two men tumble to the mat hard as a gloating Cortez drags Palmer across the
ring to a near corner, putting him in the tree of woe. Hooking Palmer in, Cortez
heads to the far side of the ring before charging forward and hitting with a
baseball slide. Bouncing back to his feet, Cortez signals “safe” before
doing a little dancestep. Spun around, Cortez is grappled by Billy. Starting
with an arm bar, Blaze spins to his back for a hammerlock getting his opponent
to bellow out in pain.
Howard Butz: Armbar into a hammerlock. Chris Cortez fighting back with a back
elbow missing it’s mark.
Countering by dipping his body, Cortez reverses positions, putting Billy in an
armlock. Tapping his head, Cortez is surprised by a back elbow that catches him.
Howard Butz: Billy Blaze with the reverse. SMALL CRADLE! ONE! KICKOUT!
Dillon Diamond: I think Billy caught him totally by surprise for the cover but
hasn’t done enough to weaken him.
Jake Morgan: If I was in there, this one would be over already.
Howard Butz: Of course, Jake. Of course.
Jake Morgan: Don’t push me, Butz.
With the ref trying to free Palmer from his predicament, Blaze wins control of a
collar and elbow tie-up into a side headlock. Shoving Billy off for the far
ropes, Cortez hammers him to the mat with a spinning heel kick. Pulling a groggy
Billy to his feet and pushing him into the ropes, Cortez falls backwards and
rolls to his feet with Blaze firmly locked in a single leg Boston crab.
Howard Butz: CORTEZ WITH THE SINGLE LEG!
In the center of the ring, Billy tries crawling forward as Cortez leans back
trying to keep his hold.
Jake Morgan: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!
Dillon Diamond: ME NEITHER! What is it, Jake?
Jake Morgan: We’ve got a submission hold in the center of the ring and Orly
Diaz is bothering with someone not involved. This is just like him.
Howard Butz: I think it’s a safety issue here, Jake.
Jake Morgan: Safety, my ass. I’m not going to stand by and allow this to
happen.
Howard Butz: Wait, Jake. JAKE!
Dillon Diamond: As head official, you should let him do his job.
Howard Butz: He’s not the head referee.
With Billy’s face contorting in pain, the ref is confronted by Jake on the
ring apron. The two have words until Jake grabs the ref’s shirt and pulls him
closer. Struggling with Morgan, Diaz pulls free and orders him from the ring.
With some harsh words, Morgan again grabs for Diaz but is pushed from the apron.
Landing on his feet, Morgan smiles as he starts to roll into the ring.
Howard Butz: Jake heading into the ring now.
Dillon Diamond: You don’t want to upset Jake Morgan.
Howard Butz: Here comes the cavalry!
Out from the back comes Brody and a host of 30MC security. Grabbing Morgan’s
legs, they pull him from the ring. Unaware of who has him, Morgan comes up ready
for a fight only to find himself surrounded. Swarmed over, he is pulled away
from the ring and marched towards the back.
Howard Butz: There goes Jake Morgan.
His eyes go wide as Jake lashes out and kicks his chair with a loud clang as his
final act before being carted off as the fans cheer in the background.
Dillon Diamond: You had to go and set him off. And what’s up with Orly Diaz?
Howard Butz: Me? Orly Diaz? Let me tell you. After everything Orly’s been
through with Jake, I think Mr. Morgan is lucky only to have been tossed from the
building for being disruptive.
Dillon Diamond: Disruptive?
Howard Butz: Yes, disruptive. Now, if you don’t mind, we do have a match going
on in the ring!
After freeing Palmer, Diaz turns back towards Cortez and Blaze. Having scratched
his way across the ring, Blaze grabs for the ropes and a break from the ref.
Cortez argues with Diaz about a submission, slapping his hand to prove his
point. Diaz shakes his head.
Howard Butz: Blaze back against the ropes while Cortez argues with the ref.
Palmer hits Blaze with a clothesline that carries both men over the top rope and
to the floor in a heap that gets the fans started.
Dillon Diamond: Can’t forget about the third man in the ring.
Shoving Diaz out of the way, Cortez climbs the ropes, pointing down at the two
men down on the floor. Pulling his thumb across his throat, he nods his head up
and down.
Howard Butz: What’s he got in mind here, Dillon?
Dillon Diamond: There’s no telling but whatever it is, you can bet it’s
going to be painful to someone.
Jumping from the top, Cortez spins his body, hitting both men with a swanton
bomb and bringing everyone to their feet chanting “HOLY SHIT!” in the
background.
Howard Butz: HE ISN’T! HE DID! OH MY GOD!
Diaz leaves the ring quickly to check out all three men that are down. Looking
to the back for help, Diaz reluctantly starts a count.
Vic Parker: That’s just crazy.
Howard Butz: No one is moving on the floor and the ref has started a count. I
think we need some help out here.
Counting away, Billy Blaze finally moves, using the ring apron to pull himself
to his feet with a cheer. Limping badly, he pulls Harry Palmer to his feet,
rolling him into the ring.
Howard Butz: THIS ONE IS GOING ON! Blaze with an Irish whip. DROP KICK!
Dillon Diamond: It’s hard to believe that he can still jump after all that his
leg has been through today.
Vic Parker: It’s pure adrenalin and athleticism, Dillon. The very reason I’m
here to compete. Here’s three guys putting it all on the line ... for what?
There’s no title belt on the line. No rankings at stake. Nothing. These guys
are here to wrestle and that’s what I’m all about.
Howard Butz: I have a feeling we’re going to be finding that out about you
very quickly, Vic. There’s another Irish whip ... BACK BODY DROP! Harry Palmer
is now being manhandled!
Dillon Diamond: Billy’s pointing to the corner. He’s going to the top,
Howard. This one may be over in the next couple of seconds!
Climbing the ropes, Billy heads to the top. With the fans cheering him on, he
points down at the unmoving Palmer. Spinning around, he leaps off, throwing his
body backwards and landing on top of his target.
Howard Butz: MOONSAULT! BILLY WITH THE MOONSAULT! HE HOOKS THE LEG! ONE! TWO!
THREE!
Dillon Diamond: NO, HOWARD! CHRIS CORTEZ WITH THE SAVE!
Vic Parker: Now, that was close. Cortez’ elbow broke it up just before the
referee hit the mat.
Dillon Diamond: You can say that again, Vic.
Holding the back of his head, a groggy Billy Blaze pulls himself to his feet.
Turning around to catch the plates on the bus that just hit him, he turns right
into Chris Cortez and a foot making a beeline for his face.
Dillon Diamond: MIC CHECK! MIC CHECK!
The superkick sends Billy over the top ropes and sprawling out onto the floor in
a heap.
Dillon Diamond: Well ... that’s what he called it when I was talking to him
earlier today.
Howard Butz: That’s two weeks in a row, Billy Blaze has tasted the boot of
Chris Cortez. You were talking to Chris Cortez?
Dillon Diamond: I have to keep my fingers on the pulse of this promotion.
Howard Butz: Whatever. Cortez pulling Palmer to his feet now. Both men looking
worse for wear.
Pushing Palmer’s head down and pulling him into a standing head scissors,
Cortez underhooks both of his arms. Dropping his weight down, he slams
Palmer’s face into the mat.
Howard Butz: That’s it. Cortez has this one in the bag. Wait a second ...
where’s he going?
With a little hitch in his step as well, Cortez heads for the far corner and
starts to climb. Making it to the top, he leaps off, throwing his body back as
he spins forward, sticking a shooting star press.
Howard Butz: UNREAL! CORTEZ WITH A SHOOTING STAR PRESS! THE LEG! THE COVER! THIS
ONE IS ACADEMIC! ONE! TWO! THREE! CHRIS CORTEZ WINS!
*** Ding *** Ding ***
Howard Butz: Simply
amazing. Chris Cortez pulls out the victory over Billy Blaze and Harry Palmer.
Dillon Diamond: All I can say is WOW! That was something. I think I’m glad to
be here on this end of a match like that than being one of those guys. Just
imagine what they’re going to be feeling tomorrow
Vic Parker: It’s intense and having been a few barnburners like that, I feel
for those guys. That’s not the kind of thing you can usually shake off with a
good night’s sleep. I’ll be interested to see how those are next week. I’d
bet ...
Dillon Diamond: OH NO! NOT YOU, TOO?!?!?
Howard Butz: Ignore him, Vic ... that’s what I do to keep my sanity. We have
to break for a commercial, so don’t go away!
[The three men fade from view as the camera follows Chris Cortez into the back.
Disappearing into the back, a drained Cortez leans heavily against the wall to
support himself before moving on. Looking up, he sees the grinning visages of
his fellow 69ers.]
Bad Boy Corey: WOW! That was really something.
Kickin’ Kenny: Yeah, that really was.
[Cortez nods his head as the two men congratulate him with a pat on the
shoulder. Sore from his match, Cortez tries to stand but falls back against the
wall. Moving in to help their new teammate, they support his weight as they
start to walk off.]
Bad Boy Corey: Too bad you weren’t able to finish.
Kickin’ Kenny: Yeah, too bad.
Chris Cortez: Not allowed to finish? What are you talking about? I pinned Harry
Whatshisname for the one, two three ...
Bad Boy Corey: No, no ... not that. We’re talking about the song, man. The
song.
Kickin’ Kenny: Yeah, man. The song.
[Cortez rolls his eyes as he lets out a sigh when a voice behind them peals in.]
Voice: Dude, that song sucked ...
[All three men turn around to find the wild haired Weed sitting out of the way
rolling something in his hands before the melting away into a commercial.]
