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(The scene opens up on a street in urban Albany, New York. Canadian Crippler is seen walking down the street; he’s wearing a Purgatory T-Shirt and a pair of denim jeans. He has his Hardcore Title over his shoulder. A cameraman is following him along on the sidewalk as Canadian Crippler asked of him because he wants to address his opponent for next week’s Friday Night Riot, XTC member X-Convict.) Canadian Crippler: So X-Convict, I’ve seen what you think of me, I’ve seen what you’ve had to say about the way I treat this Hardcore Title, you think that I treat this like trash huh? You want this title so bad don’t you, you think that just because you’ve been the greatest Hardcore champion IWF has ever see, well I got a wakeup call for you X-Convict. IWF is dead, and none of the accomplishments you got from there are worth shit here in ICW. I was generous to you and gave you a spot in a number one contender’s match for this Hardcore Title and you won, good for you, you were able to beat Ripper, a man that is so unproven that he has about as many Hall of Fame credentials as Randy Johnson. Well, you can pat yourself on the back; you beat some lowly guy, now you get a shot, even if you want to call it that, at my Hardcore title. Now you’re going on your tour bus saying that you’re psycho and it’s a good thing, and that you’re going to be psycho until you win this title, well your going to be committed pretty soon because there is no way your going to take this belt off of me, you can scream and whine like a baby at the top of your lungs on how you want it, this hardcore title, you can keep whining thinking that this thing is a real child, as much as a cherish this thing, I wouldn’t cherish it like my child, you really are psycho X-Convict, the other thing that I remember you talking about was that I’d be the first to get the X marks the spot or the Disconfiguration like it would mean it’s the end of your quest, well the thing is X-Con is that I’ve seen you bust those moves out from back in IWF and I can’t see those moves putting anybody in ICW out. I can see why those two moves got you to the top of IWF because it was just a bunch of rejects that were wrestling to make a quick buck and claim that they were really professional wrestlers. It was quite pathetic really. After insulting my intelligence like that, you go on to insult my home country. You see if I went up this road in about three hours or so I’d be back there and I’d be hard pressed to find somebody that doesn’t want to infect you with SARS or throw the slaughtered mad cow’s beef down your throat, because in Canada, whenever we’re badmouthed at all we take extreme offense, I’m sure you are used to it in the states after bombing the hell out of Iraq so you’d have some more oil. Anyway as I’ve said before there is hardly any chemistry between you five guys in XTC, one member insults Canada despite the fact that one of the members of your stable claims to be a Canadian. I doubt that your really offending him since he prays every night that his citizenship papers are going to be in the mail the next morning. You decide to end off your interview by going to sleep because of the cross-country trip to San Jose, well the thing is X-Con, I would be up as long as I could because you are going to be catching up on your sleep because your going to be in a coma for a couple weeks when I’m done with you. So now I’ve gone through your entire interview, and what do I have to think of you after our first contact so to speak, well I’ve realized that you are a man that is in serious need of professional counseling, you’re going crazy because you don’t have this title are you? Well like I said you’re going to be crazy for a long time. (Canadian Crippler and the cameraman come up to a red light and stop as a small crowd gathers around the cameraman and the ICW Hardcore Champion. A fan approaches him to ask him a couple questions.) Fan: I have to agree with X-Convict on one thing Crippler, all hockey players are are nothing more than NFL rejects. Canadian Crippler: I’d have to disagree, have you ever thought that NFL players are probably just NHL rejects, think about it, both sports are contact sports, but in football you can run out of bounds, in hockey you either take a hit like a man or get the hell off the ice. Fan: What makes you think that you actually have a leg up on X-Convict going into Riot, I know you’ve seen some of his work, what do you have to say about it because I always thought that it was very impressive and that he should have been in ICW a long time ago. Canadian Crippler: Well I have seen a few of his matches and he looked very impressive, but it was in a second-rate wrestling federation that probably had it’s biggest card in some bar on this street. Also reason number two, I am more hardcore than this guy is. X-Con thinks that just because he’s been in prison that he’s automatically the toughest wrestler in the company, the only thing that’s automatically known of an Ex-Con is that he was stupid enough to do something to get you in there anyway, really I think he just felt like going to prison to drop the soap in the shower but I’m not going to get into that any further. Fan: I heard you say that X-Convict had about as much Hall of Fame credentials as Randy Johnson. Is that supposed to be a compliment because Randy Johnson is going to be inducted to the Hall of Fame on Riot this Friday. Canadian Crippler: Yeah that line was supposed to be a direct shot at whoever had their head smacked the wrong way and decided to give a man that’s only had one pro wrestling match a Hall of Fame induction. If this guy is so great then why is Rage trying to keep me from facing him? So he doesn’t make a baseball player look bad as a wrestler? Because he wants to keep the novelty of this guy for as long as he can, it’s pathetic really. Why would anyone think someone that’s famous just because he can throw a ball 100 MPH would be a good wrestler? Fan: What would you do if you lost the Hardcore Title to X-Convict this Friday Night at Riot? Canadian Crippler: Probably the first thing I would do is ask for a rematch, and if any of the staff veto that, I have several other ideas in mind none of which I care to talk about right now so if you don’t mind get out of my face. I’m going to get something to eat, go talk to the cameraman. (Canadian Crippler calls for a taxi and hops in, it leaves the scene of Canadian Crippler’s interview as the picture fades to black.) |
