Title: Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad
Author: Carm
Distribution: Rhonda, Kai... all others ask first
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in the story.  Matt, Jeff and Trish own themselves.  The song is by Def Lepperd.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: This is an answer to a challenge to write for this song.  I have never heard it, but liked the lyrics, so I gave it a shot.  I hope you enjoy it.  For those who have never read a song story before by me, the lyrics are at the end.  Each and every word may not be in the story, but I go for the essence and idea more than literal context.  But anyway... here it is.

~*~

Jeff Hardy rolled over onto his side and let out a long lingering sigh.  His eyes touched the blonde beauty laying beside him.  She was so peaceful and gorgeous in her slumber.  His eye were heavy and his breathing was slow as sleep begged him to go under, but he wouldn’t, he couldn’t.  If his eyes closed, they would open to show an empty bed beside him.  So many times they would fall asleep together only to wake up apart.  And each time, Jeff would roll back over with a heavy sigh on his lips and groan in his heart.
Jeff extended a hand and gently laid it on her cheek.  Trish Stratus moved slightly beneath his touch.  A small smile touched her lips as she unconsciously moved closer to the young Hardy.  Jeff smiled.  He pulled her to him slowly, doing his best to not wake her.  Their skin touched and Trish jumped in her sleep.  Her eyes still closed, she moved away from him and Jeff’s smile instantly slipped.  "Why do you move away from me?" he whispered softly.  "Why won’t you let me...  just..."  Jeff sighed.  He moved carefully out of the bed and stood at the foot, staring at Trish’s sleeping form.
When it all began, it was purely sex.  They were both single, both attractive and both had felt the pull of their bodies.  Both being adults, it was supposed to be an easy thing.  When they felt the need and desire to be close to someone, needed to feel the touch of another, they would come together and fill each other’s nights with ecstacy.  But, somehow Jeff’s heart had gone beyond friends.  His heart wanted more.  He wanted to wake up to her in the morning.  He wanted to touch her and know that it was because of real affection, not just a sexual lust.  Jeff wanted to be a real friend to her, someone she let her heart open to.  They would talk to each other and joke, but when it came to her true heart, Trish held it closer than anything imaginable.  She gave Jeff Hardy her body, but her mind and soul, she kept to herself, locked in a tower higher than Rapunzel’s and fortified stronger than King Arthur’s castle.
"I try and I try and I..."  Jeff sighed again.  There was no point in harping on something that couldn’t be.  He knew that.  He knew that Trish didn’t want the same things he did, and no matter how badly he wanted her to, he couldn’t make her be someone she wasn’t. 
Jeff rolled his eyes lazily and moved to a nearby chair.  He slid his pants and shirt on, slid into his shoes and with one last glance at Trish, picked up his card key and walked out of the hotel room.  Jeff made his way slowly through the halls and into the elevator.  He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he had to leave the room.  As much as he wanted to be near Trish, it was too painful to watch her knowing that as soon as she woke, she’d dress and leave.
Jeff found himself walking around the pool area.  Late at night, the moonlight hit the blue water and bounced off with a shine.  He took a seat in one of the chairs and stared up into the stars.  "It’s just not fair," he whispered.  "Why do I have to love her so much?"
"Because you’re a glutton for punishment."
Jeff’s head turned as his brother sat down beside him, sighing.  "What are you doing up?" Jeff asked him.  "And what are you doing out here?"
"I was on my way for ice when I saw you coming down."  Matt was quiet for a moment.  "Trish gone again?"
"No."  Jeff sighed.  "She’s asleep."
"And you’re not right there?"
"No.  I can’t.  Matt..."
"Jeff, you’re an extreme glutton for punishment.  Why can’t you just let things stay the way they were? I mean, you did agree to it and all."
"Matt, just..."  Jeff shook his head.  "You wouldn’t understand."
"Try me, baby brother."
Jeff turned to him and looked hard at Matt.  He was the older one.  He was the more stable of the two, but that just made him less open.  Jeff was more whimsical, more free.  His heart had wings that Matt saw as harmful, but Jeff saw as liberating.  "Fine," Jeff said with a sigh.  "I thought I was more... free, I guess.   I come and go, I’m always out and about and I’m just... a free spirit, ya know?  But, Trish... she grounds me and I actually like that.  Problem is, she doesn’t want to be my grounding force.  She doesn’t want to be grounded.  She wants to be..."
"Free."
"Right."
"Jeff, you’re both young."
"That doesn’t matter.  God, Matt, you wouldn’t get it.  I mean, you haven’t ever wanted anything so bad."
"You don’t know that."
"Yeah, I do.  You’ve never wanted anything so bad that it seeps in your dreams and they’re so... God, Matt, the dreams! You have no idea.  But they’re just that.  They’re dreams and no matter what I do, they aren’t going to come true.  I try and I try and I try and..."
"Maybe you’re trying too hard, Jeff."
"How can I try too hard?  It’s not like I’ve told her how much I lo...  how much I want her."
Matt sighed.  "God, Jeff, you’re so naive.  I’m your brother.  I know you’re in love with her.  And whether or not you say it to her, she knows, too.  Maybe she’s scared?  Did you think about that?"
"Scared?"
"She didn’t go into this for a relationship.  And neither did you.  And if you can fall in love, she can, too.  And maybe she just doesn’t want to."
Jeff looked to Matt and sighed.  Damn his brother for always having a point, and a good one at that.  Jeff shook his head.  There was nothing worse than hearing something that you didn’t want to hear.  "Matt... I’m just... I’m tired."  Without letting him say goodnight, Jeff stood and went back upstairs.  When he walked in the room, Trish was gone.  Jeff sighed and walked to the bed, the side where Trish had laid, and sat down in the warm spot.  The pillow was still dented by the head that had graced it.  Jeff laid his hand on the soft down pillow and sighed, heavily. 
"You have no idea how much I need you," he said softly.  "And you just don’t... I guess you just don’t care.  You’re saving your heart for something that... dammit, Trish, something that’s already right in front of your face.  Why can’t you just.... just let me be the one who loves you?  I’m the one who needs you."  With another sigh, Jeff laid down in the bed and let himself fall into a restless slumber, Trish’s scent lulling him to a wistful dream. 


Lyrics:
Here I am, I'm in the wrong bed again
It's a game I just can't win
There you are breathin' soft on my skin
Still you won't let me in

Why save your kisses for a rainy day
Babe let the moment take your heart away

Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard
That your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad
And you're the girl I gotta have
I gotta have you baby

There you go, midnight promises again
But they're broken by the dawn
You wanna go further, faster everyday babe
But in the morning you'll be gone
And I'm alone

Why save your kisses for a rainy day
Babe let the moment take your heart away

Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone
You just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard
That your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad
And you're the girl I gotta have
I gotta have you baby

Every dream I dream is like
Some kinda rash 'n' reckless scene
To give out such crazy love
You must be some kinda drug
And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the one
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you


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