Title: The Hardest Thing
Author: Jami Lynn
Chapter: 1
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the
wrestlers used in this story, 'cause if I did, I'd be busy with them right now
*grin*. But I do own Jami, for she is me. Tasha owns herself. (Heaven help the
person who tries to claim he/she owns either of us). This is the next part of
a song fic series. The first part being I Honestly Love You. The second part
being Ain't It Funny. the third part being she's been good to me. The song is
the property of 98*. And the address to the stories is at the bottom of
this email. And I use the wrestlers wrestling names in the story, JUST DEAL
WIT IT! And don't bother suing me...all you'd get is a half eaten ham sandwich
and a bag of chips from 2 years ago.
Distribution: Ask me if you can use
it, more than likely I will say yes.
Rating: So far, it's a PG-13
Content: Nothing bad as of yet,
probably won't be anything to bad either....maybe some cussing.
Spoilers: Um...anything can happen
and I'm just writing as I go, so I don't know yet *L*.
Summary: oh the hell with the whole summary.
Everyone loves everyone.
Feedback: I need feedback like I need
air! So give it to me, babee! I have been suffocating lately....so please,
send in the feedback.
Email: Jeffs_in_my_box@hotmail.com
Adam was pacing around the outside of the hotel.
His long blonde hair was pulled up tightly under a baseball cap, the bill low
over his eyes. He had his jacket zipped up all the way so he could hide
his chin underneath that. He didn't want anyone to recognize him. Not
that there was anyone out...it was 2 in the morning.
He was waiting for Jami. She had this weird habit
of going off on a walk at two in the morning, not the most safe habit, but one
she refused to give up. She said it was her favorite time of the entire
day. The only time she ever thought clearly.
Adam was feeling rather guilty, since his girlfriend
Tasha lay asleep in their room upstairs, having no idea he was even gone.
But he had to talk to Jami. Just the other night she had confessed that
she not only loved her boyfriend Jeff, but that she also loved him. And
he had never had the chance to say anythiing to her then. But he wasn't
about to be denied right now.
***
We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us trying to be strong
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves
And trusts me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that.
***
Just then Adam's eyes landed on Jami rounding the corner
of the hotel. She stopped when she saw him, confusion shining in her
eyes. She slowly began to walk towards him. He took her in from
the small distance.
She wore a pair of faded blue jeans and tight
lavander shirt that showed off her curves. Her brown hair looked
especially dark in the night, and was loose around her face. She stood
in front of him, her eyes asking him what he wanted.
"Jami. I wanted you to know....well, that your
feelings aren't unrequited. I love you too. I love Tasha. I love
you. Hell, we are all in love. And I shouldn't even be here, now,
telling you this. Tasha is up in our room, asleep, not having a clue how I
feel about you. And I am not telling you this so we can run off
somewhere and live happily ever after, but more so.....so I can go and live
happily ever after with Tasha. And you can go live happily ever after with
Jeff. They both deserve that." Adam said.
***
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I dont'
love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my hearts not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away, pretending I
don't love you.
***
"Why are you telling me this?" Jami
asked him, obviously confused. "Because...well, because from this
moment on I'm going to have to walk away from here, and pretend I don't love
you. If you ever ask me again if I love you, I'll tell you know, even
though it will be a lie. But I can't afford to tell you the truth
after this. I love Tasha. And I have to be with her. So from this
moment, as far as you know, I don't love you." Adam told her.
***
I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
'Cause there can be no happy ending
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't
love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my hearts not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away, pretending I
don't love you
***
"Why are you telling me this? Just to be
cruel?" Jami asked, tears streaming down her face. "Maybe...maybe
I'm hoping that if I'm cruel, you won't hurt so much when you know that we
can't be together. There is no happy ending in store for us together, but with
Tasha I have my happy ending and you have yours with Jeff. I'm sorry. I
do love you, and there will always be a piece of me that does, but I'm locking
that piece up. It can never be rediscovered." Adam told her, a part
of his heart breaking as he watched her cry.
***
Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
***
"Maybe if we had met first this could all have
been different. I know. But you have your man and I have my woman. And I
don't regret getting with mine, and I know you love your's. So now that
I've told you, we can go on with our lives. The moment I walk away...I
no longer love you." Adam choked out, trying not to cry himself.
Then he turned and left Jami standing there, tears running down her face.
***
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't
love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away pretending I
don't love you
back to Jami
