Chapter 20
"What exactly do you mean Jami?" Matt asked her, walking slowly towards her. When he stood next to her, Jami looked back at the TV. "What I mean is that, I should know how this story goes by now. I should know that my fairy tale follows the same pattern over and over again. I screw up. Jeff Gets mad. I get mad. Jeff gets all loving and compassionate. I break down. I feel like the wicked witch of the west. Like I should not even be allowed to breathe in his presence becuase he is so much better than me. That I'm not worthy of his love. Or anyone else's love. When we finally come back together, I still feel that way. But I hide it. Becuase I do love him. And I never would want to hurt him." Jami whispered.
"Jami, when it comes to love, you are a moron." Matt told her.
***
"Where did Matt go?" Tasha asked Edge, who was sitting next to her. "Who knows. What I want to talk to you about is us. Not Matt." Edge said rather sharply.
"What?" Tasha asked, suprised at his tone. "Tasha, I've watched what Jeff is going through now. I watched Jami as she heard Jeff and said what she said. I don't want either of us to ever feel like that. I've hurt you. And I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm stupid. I'm an idiot." Edge said.
"Don't forget imbosul." Tasha added. Edge nodded, not cracking a smile at her attempt at humor. "I'm serious Tasha. I really did mess up, and I know that. I can't even imagine how you felt. I know how I would feel if you thought I had done any of those things that we accused y'all of. And I'm sorry. You will never know how sorry I am. But I can tell you how hurt I am not we are no longer together. How much pain I feel seeing you smile and know that I didn't cause it. Or how much pain I see in your eyes and know that I caused that." Edge told her, looking down at his feet.
Tasha was speechless. Her mind was racing a thousand times it's usual speed. Edge was apologizing. And he meant it. Every word he spoke was from his heart. She could feel it in her own heart. She felt like she was about to swallow her tongue.
"Edge...I...I'm sorry we aren't together either. I miss you." Tasha finally whispered. "What are you saying?" Edge asked her.
"Good Lord. Does she have to spell it out for you?" Stone Cold said, overhearing their conversation. "She wants to be your woman again. She wants you to be her man."
"Is that true?" Edge smiled. Tasha nodded and the two just stared at each other. Stone Cold marched over to where they sat and bumped their heads together. "Now, kiss and make-up." with that he turned and walked away muttering, "damn blondes."
***
"Yep, I'm a moron. stupid stupid stupid me." Jami said, not even batting an eyelash when Matt said that to her. "You just need to work through your problems. Stop letting yourself get so messed up over little things and the big things." matt said.
Jami laughed bitterly and the sound suprised Matt. "Matt, what if I like being messed up? That is who I am. That is WHAT I am. And if I got rid of my problmes...well, then I'd probably just go out and get new ones. Bigger ones. Why? Because, I'm messed up." Jami told him.
"Jami, you don't have to be that way." Matt said. Jami turned to him, arching an eyebrow at him, "Don't you see Matt...I AM that way." Matt took his cue and left her alone with her thoughts.
back to Chapter 19
