July 8, 2003
Tuesday Night Torture opens up as the cameras are shown backstage
in UWA Chairman, Brent Clark’s, VIP room. Brent is seen talking about tonight’s very
exciting show, seeing that its the UWA’s first live event.
Brent Clark: WOW! I cannot
wait for tonight’s show to get underway! TUESDAY NIGHT TORTURE... the
UWA’s first live event... and where better to do business then in Tampa,
Florida! (Crowd cheers in the background) I’m predicting that this night is gonna be a
great night!
The camera cuts to the arena as the UWA theme music begins and
the pyro fires off the start of the show. the cameras surround the arena showing signs that
the fans are holding high above their heads. The camera zooms in on the ring as the
caption in the lower left hand side of the TV screen appears that reads, Tuesday Night
Torture LIVE! Tampa, FL. The voice of UWA color commentator, Donny
Timberman, then is heard over the commotion followed by his colleague, Jack
Lovette.
Donny Timberman: Welcome to the
UWA’S first ever event, Tuesday Night Torture! This should be a great night for
everybody. Allow me to introduce myself I am Donny Timberman, voice of one half of
Tuesday Night Torture and Friday Night Lightning’s weekly events along with Jack
Lovette.
Jack Lovette: Hello and welcome
everyone to Tuesday Night Torture! We are live from Tampa, Florida and I don’t know
about you Don, but I am ready for this night already! Lets get going with this and head
down to the ring. Allow me to introduce the UWA’s official ring announcer, Ron
Smith.
Ron Smith: The following contest is
scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Edmonton Alberta, Canada, The
Canadian Crippler!
Whatever by Our Lady Peace roars through the arena as The
Canadian Crippler takes his entrance for the first time down the ramp of Tuesday
Night Torture. He stops as he gets next to the ring apron and turns his
head slowly from side to side, admiring the mind blowing crowd on this perfect night in
Tampa, Florida. The Canadian Crippler steps into the ring and begins to mentally prepare
for the opponent that awaits him backstage behind the curtains.
Donny Timberman: Wow! Look at The
Canadian Crippler! I’ve seen him train before in the UWA power plant facilities and let me
tell you something, The Canadian Crippler is ready on this night and I think he is going to
impress Jeff (Badass) Bradford!
Jack Lovette: I don’t do it very often
Timberman, but I agree with you on this one.
Ron Smith: And his opponent, from
Dallas, Texas, Jeff (Badass) Bradford!
Number One by Nelly fills the arena as Jeff (Badass) Bradford steps
out from behind the curtains and makes his way towards the ring. He steps through the
ropes not letting his eyes away from The Canadian Crippler. The two stare eachother
down for a bit until Official, Christopher Baxter send the two opponents to opposite sides
of the ring to get the match underway
Donny Timberman: Well look at this
kid. Jeff (Badass) Bradford has got a good five inches on The Canadian Crippler and that
may play a huge role in this match as far as favorites go.
Jack Lovette: Are you kidding me!? five
inches is nothing! I still think The Canadian Crippler stands a good
chance!
(DING, DING, DING!)
Donny Timberman: Here we go! The
first official match of the UWA begins right here, right now, at the Ice Palace in Tampa,
Florida!
(The Canadian Crippler and Jeff (Badass) Bradford lock up as The
Canadian Crippler throws Jeff (Badass) Bradford across the canvas with an arm drag
takedown but Jeff (Badass) Bradford quickly recovers and throws The Canadian Crippler
on to the mat with a hip toss. Jeff (Badass) Bradford gets The Canadian Crippler into an
armbar on the mat as The Canadian Crippler finds the strength to wiggle his way free into
a headlock. Jeff (Badass) Bradford rises and throws some elbows of his own to the
sternum of The Canadian Crippler. As The Canadian Crippler loosens the headlock, Jeff
(Badass) Bradford runs to the ropes and shoulder takles The Canadian Crippler on the
rebound attack sending him on his back to the canvas.)
Donny Timberman: So far these two
men have really impressed me with their in-ring performance! They are pretty equally
matched up as of right now as The Canadian Crippler is being pulled off the canvas by Jeff
(Badass) Bradford and I’ll tell you what... OH! What an uppercut by The Canadian
Crippler!
Jack Lovette: The Canadian Crippler just
sent Jeff (Badass) Bradford pummeling down the the mat! That looked like it
hurt!
Donny Timberman: (sarcastically) Ya
think?
Jack Lovette: (seriously) Not
usually...
(The Canadian Crippler picks Jeff (Badass) Bradford up off the
canvas and delivers a hard scoop slam. The Canadian Crippler then begins stomping Jeff
(Badass) Bradford to make sure he’s going to stay down, then he proceeds to begin
climbing up the top rope.)
Jack Lovette: It looks to me like The
Canadian Crippler really wants to win this match because he said he’s not the most death
defying wrestler but it looks like he’s going to try something here.
Donny Timberman: What’s this
Lovette? What’s The Canadian Crippler doing here? It looks like he’s... OH! What a leap
but there was no one home for The Canadian Crippler!
(The Canadian Crippler missed the flying head butt on Jeff (Badass)
Bradford as he moved out of the way. The ref begins the ten count.)
Christopher Baxter: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5...
6..... OK they’re up! (hand clap)
(Jeff (Badass) Bradford goes for the clothesline but The Canadian
Crippler ducks and gets Jeff (Badass) Bradford into a rear waist lock. The Canadian
Crippler then delivers 3 German Suplexes on Jeff (Badass) Bradford releasing the waist
lock on the third suplex.)
Donny Timberman: What strength by
the Canadian Crippler! This one may be over very soon!
(The Canadian Crippler pulls Jeff (Badass) Bradford up and whips
him into the ropes. Jeff (Badass) Bradford goes for another clothesline out of desperation,
but The Canadian Crippler uses Jeff (Badass) Bradford’s mistake to his advantage,
ducking the clothesline and giving Jeff (Badass) Bradford a drop toe hold. The Canadian
Crippler then puts Jeff (Badass) Bradford into the Crippler Crossface.)
Donny Timberman: There it is! The
Crippler Crossface! This has to be one of the most deadliest submissions in all of
professional wrestling today!
Jack Lovette: He’s not gonna last
Timberman! He’s gonna tap out I can see it!
Donny Timberman: He’s tapping! He’s
tapping! The Canadian Crippler has won his first match here in the
UWA!
(DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING,
DING!)
Ron Smith: Here’s your winner,
The Canadian Crippler!
Donny Timberman: He’s not breaking
the hold! He wont let go of Jeff (Badass) Bradford!
Jack Lovette: He’s doing exactly what he
said he would do Lovette! The Canadian Crippler is simply trying to make a name for
himself here in the UWA!
(More UWA officials enter the ring and fight to break the hold that
The Canadian Crippler has locked in on Jeff (Badass) Bradford. The hold is finally broken
and The Canadian Crippler quickly gets up, intimidating the officials. Then, The Canadian
Crippler walks to the backstage area leaving Jeff (Badass) Bradford on his back riving in
pain in the middle of the ring.)
Donny Timberman: What a match!
Those two men have certainly proved me something here tonight! What a way to kick off
Tuesday Night Torture!
Donny Timberman: Welcome back to
Tuesday Night Torture everybody! If your just tuning in, The Canadian Crippler has just
defeated Jeff (Badass) Bradford with the deadly Crippler Crossface!
Jack Lovette: Well Timberman, the show
must go on, Tuesday Night Torture is brought to you by M&M’s, they melt in your
mouth, not in your hand... Although I haven’t had very much luck with that analogy
because everytime I eat ‘em, I end up with the stickiest fingers in the world and you
know...
(Donny Timberman interrupts Jack Lovette while he is still trying to
talk about his uninteresting stories with M&Ms.)
Donny Timberman: Also, don’t forget
to check out the official theme song of UWA’s Tuesday Night Torture, the song’s called
“Bodies” and it is by Drowning Pool off their album, Sinner! So don’t forget to
check them out!
Jack Lovette: Thank you for interrupting
me Timberman.
Donny Timberman: It saved you from
looking like too much of an idiot on the first night. And we all wouldn’t want that now
would we?
Ron Smith: The following contest is
scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the Bridge Of Allan, Craig
Millar!
Headstrong by Trapt begins to play as Craig Millar takes his entrance
down the ramp. He climbs into the ring and climbs to the second rope of one of the
turnbuckles as he pumps up the crowd.
Donny Timberman: I’ve heard much
about this man Craig Millar who also has a submission as a finishing move, the Craigy Leg
Lock.
Jack Lovette: Maybe this guy and The
Canadian Crippler should get together sometime and see who has the more devastating
submission maneuver. I think The Canadian Crippler has got him beat by a long
shot!
Donny Timberman: And how the hell
would you know this!? We’ve never even seen the Craigy Leg Lock!
Jack Lovette: Just a wild guess... I really
hate it when you prove me wrong Timberman!
Ron Smith: And his opponent, from
Dunblane, Scotland, Michael McKinnon!
In The End (The Fast And The Furious Version) by Linkin Park fills
the arena as Michael McKinnon wastes no time in getting to the ring.
(DING, DING, DING!)
Donny Timberman: And the second
match of the night is underway!
(Michael McKinnon throws Craig Millar out of the ring right off the
start of the match and begins punishing Craig Millar by throwing him into the steel steps at
the corner of the ring post. Michael McKinnon and Craig Millar begin battling it out up
the entrance ramp to the stage.)
Donny Timberman: What the hells
going on!? This is a singles match they’re going to end up getting counted out of this
match!
Timothy Bagwell: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5...
6... 7... 8... (Gives a very puzzled look)
(Craig Millar and Michael McKinnon disappear behind
curtains.)
Timothy Bagwell: (slower)9...... 10
Ring the bell! Ring the bell!
(DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING,
DING!)
Jack Lovette: What just happened? Craig
Millar and Michael McKinnon just got counted out of their first match!
Ron Smith: This match has been
announced a draw! Neither Craig Millar, or Michael McKinnon have won this
match.
Donny Timberman: What a way to
make your debut... I guess.
The camera is then shown on Craig Millar and Michael McKinnon
still battling, now in the parking lot.
Jack Lovette: Hey there they are!
They’re still going!
Michael McKinnon sets Craig Millar up for a powerbomb and
powerbombs him on the nearest car.
Donny Timberman: Woah! Oh my god
what the hell was that! Good god!
The camera cuts backstage to Eddiizer’s locker room as he is shown
taping up his wrists preparing to make his way to the backstage area of the arena. Eddiizer
stands up out of the chair he was previously sitting in and opens the locker room door as
he turns left and makes his way to the curtains. However, what Eddiizer didn’t see was
that Dax Clark was standing right next to Eddiizer’s locker room door. Now Dax Clark
watches Eddiizer as he walks through the hallway in the opposite direction. Dax Clark
then gets a sinister grin among his face and he too, begins to walk down the same hall
Eddiizer was, to get ready for the first UWA title match, his Hardcore Title
match!
The camera cuts to an overview look of the Ice Palace as it zooms in
slowly on the entrance way. The camera then cuts to the ring as it is shown on UWA
official ring announcer, Ron Smith.
Ron Smith: Ladies and gentlemen, the
following match is the Hardcore Championship match and it is scheduled for one
fall.
The crowd begins to stand up in preparation of the main event that
they had been waiting for all night long.
Ron Smith: Introducing first, from
Hartford, Connecticut, Dax Clark!
Reclaim My Peace by Korn hits the P.A. system as Dax Clark
appears on the entrance way. He is carrying some weapons such as a kindo stick, a steel
chair, and a fire extinguisher down the entrance ramp. He gets ringside and throws the
weapons over the top rope and into the ring. Dax Clark then slides into the ring and climbs
the turnbuckle to the middle rope and raises his hands as he slyly smirks at the
crowd.
Donny Timberman: This man looks like
a very sneaky individual. This match should be an awesome one! I can’t wait to see what
Eddiizer has in store when the hardcore legend, so he calls himself, gets to the
ring.
Ron Smith: And his opponent, from
West Palm Beach, Florida, Eddiizer!
The crowd rises for Eddiizer as he enters the on-ramp. Eddiizer is
rolling down a cart of assorted objects. Eddiizer stops at the top of the entrance ramp and
raises his hands high above his head. Then he rolls the cart down to ringside and throws all
of the objects into the rings.
Donny Timberman: What a way to
make your debut in your home state of Florida! Listen to this reception from the crowd
Lovette! Just listen!
Jack Lovette: I hear it, I hear it! What’s
so great about this Eddiizer guy anyway? Who cares? My money’s on Dax
Clark!
(DING, DING, DING!)
Donny Timberman: Well here we
go!
(The match starts out as Eddiizer and Dax Clark grapple up. Dax
Clark gets Eddiizer into an armbar off of the lock up. Eddiizer rolls out of the armbar and
gives Dax Clark an armbar in return. As Dax Clark is riving in pain from the pressure, this
gives Eddiizer time to reach down to the ring and get a stop sign that was conveniently
placed there when Eddiizer threw all of his weapons into the ring. Eddiizer then proceeds
in clocking Dax Clark over the head with the stop sign.)
Jack Lovette: Woah! I heard that! Things
are certainly not going in Dax Clark’s direction at this moment in time.
Donny Timberman: You’ve got that
right! And Dax is planted right in the middle of the ring thanks to
Eddiizer.
(Eddiizer stomps away at Dax Clark. Eddiizer then picks up Dax
Clark and throws him over the top rope and outside the ring. Eddiizer waits for Dax Clark
to get up and he then jumps over the top rope, however, as Dax Clark was getting up, he
had grabbed a broom stick handle, and when Eddiizer went for the cross body over the
top rope, he was met with a blow to the abdomen with the broom stick handle. Dax Clark
goes for the cover.)
Donny Timberman: We’ve got a
cover!
Timothy Bagwell: 1... 2.
Two!
Donny Timberman: Only a two count
on that exchange.
Jack Lovette: NO
WAY!
Donny Timberman:
What?
Jack Lovette: You can count that
high?
Donny Timberman: Impressive ain’t
it?
(The two competitors had worked their way into the backstage area
as Donny Timberman and Jack Lovette were exchanging insults and Dax Clark had taken
the most recent advantage over Eddiizer. Dax Clark has got a garden hose wrapped
around Eddiizer’s throat as Eddiizer is gasping for breath. Eddiizer finds the strength to
get up and he elbows Dax Clark in the lower extremities sending him to the concrete.
Eddiizer pulls Dax Clark by the shirt into the nearest locker room and begins destroying
everything in sight.)
Donny Timberman: Look at this... that’s
Brent Clark’s VIP room! These two men are going all out tonight!
Jack Lovette: Well of course they are!
This is for the UWA Hardcore Championship! But I don’t know how smart it is to be
battling in the owner’s locker room.
(Eddiizer notices a glass champagne bottle on the counter in the
suite. Eddiizer wastes no time in grabbing the bottle, as Dax Clark begins to rise to all
fours, Eddiizer nails Dax Clark over the back of the head with the glass champagne
bottle.)
Donny Timberman: Woah! What the
hell was that!? That’s gotta be it for Dax Clark! Here goes Eddiizer with the
cover.
Timothy Bagwell: 1...
2...
(The count is interrupted by a kindo stick to the back of the head on
Eddiizer.)
Donny Timberman: What the hell is
that?
(The camera reveals that the man holding the kindo stick is none
other then Sprade Rhaynes.)
Jack Lovette: Woah its Sprade
Rhaynes!
Donny Timberman: I’ve heard about
this guy! What an impact he’s made so far with that attack on Eddiizer!
Jack Lovette: Well this is a Hardcore
match. Anything goes Timberman!
Donny Timberman: He’s going for a
cover!
Timothy Bagwell: 1... 2...
Two!
Donny Timberman: He kicks out! Wow
that was a close one! But Sprade Rhaynes is in the presence on that exchange and he does
not look very happy.
(Sprade Rhaynes and Dax Clark pull Eddiizer back into the hall in the
backstage area. They then enter the boiler room. Eddiizer is then put in a double headlock
as Sprade Rhaynes and Dax Clark go for the suplex on the steel floor. Eddiizer counters in
mid-air and turns the double suplex into a double penetrated DDT.)
Donny Timberman: Impressive! All
three men are down but it looks like Eddiizer is trying to recover.
(Sprade Rhaynes gets to his feet but Eddiizer is already up and
waiting. Eddiizer grabs a fire extinguisher off the wall before Sprade Rhaynes can fully
recover and sprays the icy mist into Sprade Rhaynes face so that he is temporarily blinded.
Eddiizer then dropkicks Sprade Rhaynes off the double storied boiler room all the way to
a table below.)
Donny Timberman: Good god! Sprade
Rhaynes has fallen... that had to be about a ten foot fall all the way to the lower level of
that boiler room!
Jack Lovette: This isn’t good
Timberman! Rhaynes is out and I don’t think he’s getting up.
(Eddiizer picks up a staggering Dax Clark and puts the X-Ecution on
Dax Clark. Eddiizer then picks Dax Clark up again.)
Donny Timberman: Wait a minute.
What is Eddiizer doing? He got the X-Ecution on Dax Clark what else is he going to
do?
(Eddiizer notices another table lying next to the one Sprade Rhaynes
got thrown through ten feet below to the lower level. Eddiizer then tosses Dax Clark off
the top level through the table below.)
Donny Timberman: Oh my god! No
way!
(Eddiizer looks around for a second, then he looks down at Dax
Clark. Eddiizer then takes a leap and lands stomach first on Dax Clark ten feet
below.)
Jack Lovette: You’ve got to be kidding
me! I have never seen anything like this!
Donny Timberman: He’s going for the
cover!
Timothy Bagwell: 1... 2... 3! Ring the
bell! Ring the bell!
Donny Timberman: Yes! We’ve got a
new UWA Hardcore Champion!
Ron Smith: The winner, and NEW
UWA Hardcore Champion, Eddiizer!
Jack Lovette: Damnit! I was so set on
Dax Clark! I was so sure that he had the win!
Donny Timberman: Well he didn’t and
we’ve got a new Hardcore Champion! Eddiizer is the UWA Hardcore Champion! What a
great opening night we have had tonight ladies and gentlemen! Be sure to come back this
Friday Night! We will be in Sunrise, Florida at the National Car Rental Center as Orbit
Gum presents Friday Night Lightning Good night
folks!
