Andy: "You just can't grasp the concept of P-ness!"
Class: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Elissa: "Whats P-ness?"

TJ: "ERECTION!?!?"

Crazy Mike: "Wanna play Mike Might Squish Your Head? Wanna play?"
"Mommy, what's happening to my body??"

Laura: "Y'all!"

Sparrow - Andrew
Paraket - TJ - cheep cheep! (Derek)
Penguin - slap slap! - Julian
Falcon - What does a falcon sound like? EEEEE! - Derek (like the Karate Kid) (TJ)
Chickadeedeedeedeedee! - Andy
Vulture - Seth
Ostrich - Mark
Owl - Alec (like David Bowie)
Mad Stork - James
Cock - K-Pen represent! - Joe
Raven - Zsolt

Elissa - HERO!
Barb - I'll make love to you, like you want me to!

PENIS

Penis Patrol
enis-pay
Pen 15

I am not a pedophile! Why are they all fourteen? (At least they're not eight!)

"Lets have an orgy. No, seriously. Let's have one." -- Otto

"If I was a penguin, would you fuck me... Please?" -- Amy

"Keep the lounge tidy!" -- Natalie

ZSOLT CULT - meet in the broom closet during break, bring a cat and a chocolate cheesecake.

"Excuse me, sir, I'm with the Penis Patrol, and I need to examine your penis. Could you whip it out please?" -- Otto (left ball), Amy (right ball), Barb (shaft when she feels like it), Cookie (head)

"Natalie's gonna shit a BRICK when she sees the lounge." -- Barb

Hair straightening!

"Is your reading long and hard... Like my DICK?" -- Joe

"Hi, my name is Cookie, and I have an issue..." -- Natalie's hall

"Zsolt loves you!"

"Shake! Mix! Dump! Swoop!" -- Barb

Volleyball! -- Amy, Cookie, Otto, Laura, Nikola, Andy, James, DJ James, Alec, Derek, and Psycho Volleyball Bitch

Remember when we opened DJ James's window right as Alec was whipping off his towel in front of seven other guys... Woah.

Dj's cologne and keys -- $20!
DJ takes French showers! And his hair is like a helmet!

Never been so drunk on a Sunday morning... Sleep and food are for pussies anyway.

Cookie: PENIS! Quasimodo: POOOSSSY!

Bra-a-a-aap! Orange! Blue! Violet! Green! Shit! OOOH MY GOD! OH YEAH! DONT STOP!!!AAAAA!!!

Come play hackey sack with us, we're good!

"Hit him in the PENIS!" -- Cookie

You know what htey say about tall guys... THey have huge penises!

We dyed... Joanna Nikola Wynn Amy Otto James Alex Alec Julian Mark Elissa Anna Dawna! Mary

Crossdressing day - Second Saturday. DJ really likes that skirt! Cute dresses, guys. Julian is su ch a ho, shake that bon bon. "I reaaaally like you..." -- Cookie *pelvic thrust*

"What time is it?" "4:20! I mean, 2:55."

Big group therapy at the dances! So sad... Happy people go away.

Ew it's broom-up-his-ass, I mean MATT!

Combat slow-dancing!

Group sing-a-longs... I was made for lovin you baby, you were made for lovin me. Build me up, buttercup! I wanna be sedated!

It's getting hot in here, so hot, so take off all your clohtes! I am! Getting! So hot! I wanna take my clothes off!

Penis, penis butter! Vagina!

"Um. Could you shut your door? Thanks." -- Cookie

From: The Horny Behaviorist
By: Elissa Gross
Dearest Candi,
Going to the strip bar
To watch your body shake
I only observe your behavior
But you make my body quake

Oh baby, I have no feelings
Yet you really turn me on
My senses are on fire
Every time you shake that bon-bon

The silky feeling of your G-string
As I slip in dollar bills
The sweaty vapors of the place
Gives my body chills

Oh you really are my stimulus
But it's against customer policy rules
For me to take you to my bed
So for now, I'll sit here and drool.
Sex,
Spock

"To: Amber. Love, Ginger." -- Andy(Licious)

I like big... PENIS! I want some!

You are the stimulus to my response, BABY! -- Amy and Barb

"I love David Bowie!" -- Amy
"Hey, let's watch Labyrinth!" -- Amy
"He's only 55!" -- Amy
"Look at the bulge in those tights!" -- Amy

"Wait... So this is communal icecream?"
"Uh. Yeah."
"And this is a communal spork? You want me to put this in my mouth?"
"Yeah. Have some!"
"Well, ok."
TJ, Cookie, Otto, Amy

"Do I have something white on my chin? Do I look like a HO?" -- Cookie

"I'm not really a man." -- Cookie

"But you do have penis envy." -- Andy

Let's play the phallic symbol game! *Thumbs Up*

The Best Hall Bonding Ever -- Our own private dance!!

"What if the elevator got stuck?"
"We'd have to have an orgy."
*Elevator ceases all motion*
"Um. Well, you know what this means guys."
"Cookie, get out your condoms."
"Alec! You're the only guy!"
"Don't forget the sex chair!"

Let's run, Amy, Cookie, fuck shoes!

Matt in a sarong. Not a pretty sight.

HUMP THE HOMELESS!

EEE! EEE! EEE! thud

Joe's got a big package! Sit on it! Touch it!

Andrew - "Steal the fire!"
Cookie - "No!"
Andrew - "Do it, bitch!"
Cookie - "Ok."
RA - "You're going to hell, you disrespectful little shit."

Nasty old bra fight! Barb and Cookie
Rub that bra on DJ's head!
"Hey Amanda! Rub it!"
"OOH, I'm gonna KILL you, bitch!" -- DJ

"I don't like James anymore. Oops!" -- Cookie

Let's dress up some thumbs. And massage Julian's tongue towards ecstacy!

"Elissa! Wake up! Theres a fire in my heart for you!" -- Cookie

"Um... You found that Maxim where? Is it sticky?"

Maybe if you threw the dirty old bra out the window, it would land around Matt's neck.

"Do you guys wanna have an orgy? Oh wait, are you from soccer camp? Shit!" -- Otto and Cookie

"You kids want a tip for life? Oh wait, are you a teacher. Uh. Never mind." -- Cookie (Tip: Don't grab your teacher's ass)

PENIS PENIS PENIS! I WANT SOME! -- Otto

Wow. That is a huge glowing rod!

Falcon shitting a brick: EEEENGGGH!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEENGG!!!

"Falcon!" "Hawk!" "Falcon!" "Hawk!" "Falcon!" "Hawk!" "Falcon!" THUD!! -- James and Cookie

DIC Justice (wtf)

Volleyball Champs!

Who's the most perverted hall?

Hey, let's play BS for ten hours!

BANGING THE QUESTION!

"I'll address envelopes in class but it's just plain rude to lick stamps there!" -- Otto

"Blast!" -- Joe

Gum Addicts Anonymous

Why are all the Alaskan's wrestlers?

"What the fuck is wrong with my gum?" -- Cookie

"Happenis is a very uplifitng sort of thing." -- Otto

"Derek, whats a p-ness?" "Here, let me show you..." *zzip* -- Cookie and Derek

"I'm just gonna be a lesbian, thank you very much." -- Barb

Otto is a good backpack.

Fork bracelets

"Holy shit! That's Dr. Mark!" -- Barb

"Cool." -- Zsolt

Throwing rocks at Julian during mandatory fun

Otto and Cookie go in the boy's potty in Mayser!

Urinals aren't really for peeing. They're for washing feet. That's why they have the really big ones at the gym.

Illegal sleepover in Amy and Laura's room... Cold and bruises from the floor... Hiding petrified in the corner when Otto knocked.

Guy walks into men's bathroom. Group of girls follow and scare the shit out of guy by telling him he's in the wrong bathroom...

"Ew! Your sheets are probably pretzel-flavored!" -- Cookie

"Cookie! It's such a pornstar name. You're edible!" -- Barb

"Cookie, you should get a shirt with cookies on the boobs and run around screaming, 'Eat my cookies!'" -- Amy

Someone actually did shit a brick, it's still sitting in the toilet after three flushes! Augh!

"At least my stalker has cool hair..." -- Cookie

TJ on second saturday, with a huge plate containing one leaf of lettuce... "Guys, I'm no so hungry. I have to go to the bathroom and throw up now."

Joe's silent orgasms. Alec's loud ones. OH YEAH!

"You have a lot of built up sexual tension, Barb..." -- Andy

"Look at Seth run!" -- James

"Alec has rabies, goddamn it!" -- Amy

"God, can you resuscitate my failed abortion?" -- Cookie

"Did you guys hear me singing Red Hot Chili Peppers out the window really loud at 2 AM last night? You didn't??" -- Cookie

Red Rover and Red Light, Green Light

"My Andy is Andylicious baby!"

"He would be so hot if he was sixteen." -- Cookie
"They would be!" -- Amy

"I have seen DJ's butt, Alec half naked, and Julian peeing. My eyes are tiny balls of charred flesh." -- Cookie

"So when is the party again?" -- everyone

"If you lie right here, you can see through the slats..." -- Amy

YOU STUPID BRITISH FUCK! -- Cookie

"Are you gonna put your hands over your face when you orgasm?" -- Andy

"Am I a cock? I'm not a cock! Am I a cock?" -- Joe

"Sex before the first date!" -- Otto

"SHUT UP!!" -- Barb (and Cookie)

"Were you checking me out?" -- Alex Jordan

"You make me all hot and bothered!" -- Barb

"Where the fuck is my doorhanger?" -- Elissa

Beware of Dog!

Cookie: "Is Babes in Toyland a kids' movie or a porno?"
Amy: "I think kids'."
Alex TA: "That's not relevant."

Phat Shady! (aka JOE!)

Kenai Peninsula Represent! -- Joe and Cookie

"You're not a scientist until you're wearing a lab coat." -- Alex TA

"Be a falcon!" -- Elissa

"She didn't like him, even on the first day..." -- Alex L.

"I'd like a Virgin Penis Colada." -- Cookie

"Woah! TRUCK!" -- Cookie

"I need a prickley potato!" -- Amy, Cookie, and Otto

Falcon saying penis: "PEEEEENEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"

"Stop, your cheers might distract the other team!" -- Natalie

"Hole-digging class! Hole!" -- Zsolt

"You're in the philosophy class? Isn't that, like, the smart person class?" -- some random girl

*Cookie crawls out from under table* Joe--"Thanks!"

"That was not funny!" -- Julian (oh, yes it was.)

"Don't adjust it like a man does... And when you stretch, moan erotically." -- Cosmo

"You stupid fucking Alaskan! I hate Alaskans!" -- Cookie

"My doggy died... And I have a cat!" -- Zsolt

"I didn't mean to fling icecream at you..." -- Cookie to Matt

"The raven loves you, Elissa!" -- everyone

"Fuzz power!" -- Amy and Cookie

"Ultimate Penis!" -- Penis Patrol

"Will you bend my fork?" "Woah, that's not some sort of metaphor, is it?" -- Cookie and Sean

"Icecream on acid!" -- Otto

"I was sliding down the railing and my boxers caught on the top. It was an ATOMIC WEDGIE!" -- Alec

Joe getting a wedgie on second saturday...

Knots is so sexual.

We will, we will ROCK YOU!

penis penis penis penis penis

penis

penis!!

Eyelash Song
Once I met a guy,
And he didn't have any eyelashes
So I went and asked him why,
And he said he didn't know

So I went and asked his mom
And she hadn't noticed anyway
So I went and asked his dad
And he said he didn't know

So I went and asked his neighbors,
And his neighbors said to "Go Away!"
So I went and asked his dog
But he wasn't very helful

So I went and asked his friends
And they said, "Who the hell are you talking about?"
So I went and asked his teacher
And his teacher said he had too many tongues!

Beer Song
In heaven there is no beer
That's why we drink it here
And when we're gone from here
Our friends will be drinkin' all our beer!
Tralalalalala...

CTY Song
CTY we love you
CTY you have a nice butt
CTY we love you
Take off your clothes
Take off your clothes
CTY we love you!

"The little green men are coming!" -- Zsolt

**CTY Canon**
Nightswimming	It's the End of the World as We Know It
Birdhouse in Your Soul	Stairway to Heaven
Bizarre Love Triangle	Istanbul
Time Warp	James Brown Is Dead
Blister in the Sun	Rock Lobster
Forever Young
In You Eyes	O L'amour
American Pie

Penis Man

Captain Cock

Vagina and Penis Interlocking Key Cards

If you had an egg, what color could it be? What would be inside it? -- Kokology

A note from the desk of Amanda:

Dear Andy
Merry Christmas! Thanks
for not sucking!

Love, Ananymus

PS: I hate you!

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeers! (Joe and James)
Where's your antlers?

HAHASNORTHAHAHASNORTHAHASNORT!!!! -- The most attractive thing Cookie can do .

"Your mom is a shoe because I put my foot in her." -- Cookie

"I wanna play! I wanna play! blah blah blah!" -- Alec

Let's play Lemon!

You know that one locker room in Mayser? Um. Yeah.

"I'll possess your dead body, and I'll be like, 'God that was a good nap. WHAT THE FUCK?'" -- Coo kie

"As interesting as your hygiene is, James, it's not what I'm looking for." -- Amy

"That must be such a pain in the butt!" -- Cookie to George

"Cookie walked to class with her eyes closed!" -- Barb

"DJ James is awesome. You want DJ James's sexy body all night long..." -- DJ James

"The toilet has no oomph." -- Cookie

"What do you do alone in your room, Cookie?" -- Barb

"It's the last day of the month! That makes it Slap-Your-Own-Ass day!" -- Otto
"It's the first day of the month! That makes it Slap-Someone-Else's-Ass day!" -- Otto

"My butt is not ticklish!" -- Barb

"I want on his body!" -- Barb (by 'his' she means 'every guy in the bat cave')

"Doesn't anyone want to play dinosaurs with me?" -- Cookie

"Noooooo! Of course not!" -- Barb

"At home people throw things at me, but at CTY I feel accepted." -- Elissa

Adorkable!

Shirtless O'clock! -- Dawna!

Pushy Game

Masochist Game (My hand is a bruise, thanks)

"TIC!" (I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I am SO sorry! Seriously I am.)

"I eated the purple berries!" -- Andy

"I want to listen to Hanson! Now!" -- Amy
Or Here We Go -- I love N*Sync!

Urinal Filling Contests in Mayser -- Sploosh!

Girl's Bathroom Party - With Alec and Amit!

"I" "<3" "U" -- Andy

Large sticker on the crotch of Joe's pants...

"If you have to pee, hit yourself in the stomach. It makes it all better." -- Cookie