Upcoming card, as well as commentary from booker, The Suicide Machine

That's right, Last Rites. I'm sure that name needs no explanation.
"Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain"
Never has a more true statement been spoken. None of you sheep realize that you're blindly walking into your own suicide. And those butterflies you feel in your stomach, well, those are simply your last rites being silently administered. Whoever in the UBWF Offices allowed me to have full control has no idea what they're getting themselves into. But, since I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seat by now. Here is the current card for the upcoming PPV:

The Man They Call Joe vs. Pantero
Pantero wins via DQ after the New Breed comes in and attacks him and TMTCJoe

Let it be known that I don't like Pantero. I am nothing short of digusted when I see a man who once stood for everything that the Youth Liberation believed, just sit back and go soft with the rest of the retirement home. Of course, as far at TMTC Joe goes, he just couldn't cut it. Sure, he really seems like he wants to be a part of the movement, but frankly, there is no room for the weak in what I'm trying to accomplish. This match is Pantero's chance to show us that he has what it takes to really shine. It was his killer instinct that really caught my attention back when the Geek brought me here, and it's what got him his world title. Of course, past glory and a quarter will buy you a cup of jack shit, so unless he really shows me something here, he's just gonna be crucified with all the rest. Damn shame.

Hardcore Championship match:
Josepi (c) vs. Random X
Josepi wins after hitting his version of the TKO on the substituting Random X

It's no secret that I loathe even having to be in the same room with the Good Black Angel, but the Evil Black Angel really has potential. Of course, he's going to need a lot more than potential against the most dominant force the hardcore division has ever seen. I'm giving the Evil Angel the chance to prove himself to me. However, I seriously doubt it's going to happen. Irregardless, I'm going to enjoy watching Josepi rip him apart.

International Championship match:
Falls Count Anywhere
The Suicide Machine (c) vs. Random X
TSM Wins by pin after hitting the Angels Wings.

Well Random, despite the fact that you constantly seem to get involved in my business, you pussed out at Basement Mania. Luckily for you, your cowardice saved you the beating of a life time. Of course, that won't help you now. You and me, one on one. Falls count anywhere. Don't let that fool you though, falls may count anywhere, but this isn't just going to be one of those hardcore matches you love so much. If you want to hang, you're gonna have bring yourself up to MY level. But, the only way I forsee that you're gonna be able to hang is when I wrap a noose around your neck. Welcome to your suicide

Tag Team Championship match:
The Ghetto Terrorists (c) vs. Hopeless and Josepi
Terrorists win by pin after hitting there tag finisher on Josepi

It seems that Carnage is the only man in the New Breed without a championship, and that just isn't right. With the demise of ...Lost, what better way to for Carnage to finally get it than to team him up with the man that carried that team. Despite not being an experienced tag team, these two know each other inside-out, and WILL prove that longevity doesn't always amount to the most talent. Two of the best pure athletes in the UBWF today. I'd expect the terrorists' hearts to stop beating before they're able to keep these two down for the count. Death, you've done a lot, but it's time to face the music. You lost your world title last month, and be prepared to lose your tag titles this month.

No. 1 Contender's match:
Dr. Death vs. The Tower of Chicken
Chicken wins by pin after interference by The Argonaut

While I'm on the subject of Dr. Death, I need to address something. It seems that in the contract that was signed last month, Dr. Death was guaranteed a chance to regain his title in the instance that he were to lose it. However, nowhere did it say that I had to grant him an instant title shot. So, what I'm going to do, is give him a chance to retain the no. 1 contender status. If he can go through The Tower of Chicken, then he will have the opportunity to face the Geek in the main event (It's not as if I have any reason to think that The Tower of Chicken deserves another shot at the world title, but who better to run over a pathetic, aging, has-been?). If he can't win, well, he can always catch the cab home to wallow in his sorrows. Maybe I'll leave a razor blade under his pillow and hope he gets the message.

War Games:
The New Breed (The Suicide Machine, Josepi and Hopeless vs. The Geek, The Man They Call Joe, and Random X
New Breed Wins: Pin#1, TSM pins TMTCJoe after hitting an inverted Suicide Driver. Pin#2, Geek pins Hopeless after hitting the Hardrive. Pin#3, Josepi pins Random X after a double Powerbomb by Josepi and TSM. Pin#4, Geek pins Josepi after neckbreaker. Pin#5, TSM pins Geek after Suicide Driver

This is my pride and joy. The three of you have a problem with the Breed? Well, let's see how well you can all function as a team while taking on the best wrestlers in the UBWF today. Before the match, there is a coin flip to determine which teams gets 'advantage'. One wrestler from each team will start in the ring. After 2 minutes, the team with advantage gets to send in another wrestler to do whatever he chooses. After another 2 minutes, the other team sends in a wrestler. They alternate like this until all wrestlers are in the ring, at which point a referee will enter, and the match ends only after each member of one team is eliminated by pinfall, submission, or my personal favorite, being unable to continue. All of this talk about professionalism and respect... I'm looking forward to watching it fly out the window when these three egomaniacs have to coexist and work together. It should be a beautiful sight.

Oh yeah, and if you're wondering why the Breed has four members and they only have three... easy... I'm an asshole!

World Championship match:
The Geek (c) vs. PAIN
Geek pins the returning Pain after hitting the Hardrive

This is provided that the Geek can still stand after War Games. I have to give it up for you Geek, you finally fulfilled your dream. But now what? Sure, you managed to knock down a wrestler who was past his prime long ago, but how are you gonna handle it when you have 4 hungry young monsters breathing down your neck? It's simple, you won't. Sleep with one eye open and keep looking over your shoulder... Things are never quite what they seem.

Pleasant Dreams eveyone, I'll see you on the 16th